by Evie Nichole
Cal started to talk, but nothing came out. She was right. His gut told him that she was right, and yet he could not even think about it without wanting to laugh and cry at the same time. It was his turn to take a big, deep breath. “You think we’re talking about your mother?”
“Ew.” The word was so out of place that Cal almost choked on the laugh that wanted to slip out. What was she thinking about now? Her nose was wrinkled and she looked adorably kissable. Then she made a gagging noise. “I cannot imagine my mother having taste that awful! It’s bad enough that my mother slept with your father. I’m sorry, but Joe was a bit of an arrogant prick. And hey, maybe he was different with my mom. I don’t know. But to think that my mother could possibly get it on with Paul Weatherby is just too much to swallow.”
“Oh.” Cal nodded. Now he got it. “I can see your point now. It would be pretty difficult to make a case for your mom and Paul. He’s almost ten years older than my father to start with. And my dad and your mom were about the same age difference as you and me.”
“Okay. So, if my mom and Paul weren’t sleeping together and creating a nasty kind of love triangle that ended in a feud, what would it be?” She bit her lip. The sight of its plump surface clutched between her straight white teeth was distracting.
Cal really needed to get a grip on this serious attraction he felt for Jesse. Or rather they just needed to tie up some loose ends—or something. That business in the little courtyard earlier had been almost too intense to deny. He had never felt an attraction like this before. It defied logic and circumstances and everything in the world that made sense. There was nothing for him but the way he felt when Jesse was near. It was like flying. It was like riding a horse hell for leather across the pasture. It was better than anything he could imagine, and he didn’t want to even consider the possibility that he wasn’t going to be able to have this drug—because that’s what it was—in his life for good.
“Calvin?”
The singsong insistence in her voice was laced with humor. Apparently, he had totally spaced out on her. Cal tried to recall the last thing that she’d said and could not. She’d been talking about reasons that Paul and her father might hate each other. For some reason, that jogged a memory loose in Cal’s brain.
It was like sticking his head under cold water. He could remember that night so very well. His father and Amelia in the barn. The angry words between them after Met had caught them in the act. Amelia left. She had been so very angry, but Joe had been even angrier. Then Paul Weatherby had shown up. Why?
“Cal? What’s wrong? What are you thinking about?” Jesse reached out and laced her fingers with his. She gently massaged his palm and lifted his hand to her lips. It was distracting, but it did not stop him from thinking even more seriously about that night so many years ago.
“My dad and your mom had a fight in our barn just after Met caught them having a little tryst.” Cal spoke softly. He wasn’t sure how raw this stuff was for her, just like he wasn’t sure she knew the particulars of what Met had seen either. “My brother was so upset. He flew into a rage. I don’t think Met knew that I was there. I had followed him into the barn to put away some tack. I don’t even think my father knew we were on the property.”
“And my mother just randomly met him there?” She seemed astounded, and Cal couldn’t blame her. “Why?” she demanded. “Why would my mother be so careless?”
Cal exhaled heavily. “I’ve thought about that a lot over the years, and the only thing I can come up with is that sometimes when people are in love, things get hot and heavy and they go further than they intended without realizing the potential consequences. We don’t know what happened that night. All we know is that it was several hours before your mother and father’s accident.” Cal reconsidered. They knew one more thing. “And for some reason, Paul Weatherby showed up that night and had a big fight with my father.”
“We need my mother’s journal,” Jesse muttered. “I bet that would tell us more.” She drew her feet up into the chair and wrapped her arms around her knees. She was rocking back and forth as though she couldn’t remain still.
“We’ll find it, Jesse.” Cal wanted so badly to be her hero. It was becoming his preoccupation. “I don’t know where or how, but we will. For now, we need to think about that paternity test tomorrow. That’s the first real step in the right direction.”
“Maybe Paul would tell us what happened that night,” Jesse mused. She was thinking hard. Her dark eyes were sharp as obsidian, and she looked as though she carried the weight of the whole world on her shoulders. “There’s no more reason for him to keep a secret.”
Cal had a bad feeling that his mother knew. He couldn’t recall anything else about that night. When his father had finally realized that Cal was in the barn, he’d sent him into the house to find his younger brother. Paul had already been standing there, and it was obvious that the words and sparks were going to fly, but not what was underneath the obvious animosity.
Jesse suddenly yawned. “I’m so tired!” she moaned. “This day has been hell. And I’m so sorry, Cal. I keep forgetting that your father died. I think we’re all acting like this doesn’t matter, but it does. This is going to be a huge change. Everyone thought that the surgery was going to cure him and that he’d go home and be just as big a pain in the ass as he had been for the last decade.” She lifted his hand to her lips one more time. This time he felt the whisper of them across the light dusting of hair on the back of his hand. The tickling sensation was about to drive him mad.
“Jesse,” Cal said softly. “You need to stop teasing my hand like that or I’m not going to be responsible for my actions.”
“Sorry.”
She dropped his hand, and he felt as though he’d been burned. Why had he said it like that? It was like he continually put his foot in his mouth with her. He sighed and took her hands this time. “I didn’t mean to snap. And you’re right. I think all of us are in shock. He was our father, but he wasn’t exactly the warmest and fuzziest person around. The guy was a horrible taskmaster, and he continually made our lives hell. I loved him. I did. But he wasn’t easy to love.”
“I get it.” Jesse sighed. Then she threw her head back and stared up at the skylights in the vaulted ceiling. The sight of the smooth column of her throat mesmerized him. “I have a lot of conflicting feelings about your father. I keep wondering what my mother would be feeling right now if she were still alive. Would she be grieving him? Would she hate him by now? And he was a father figure to me, but he was a really mean guy sometimes.” She thought for a moment before saying anything else. And when she did, he was surprised at how easily she hit the nail on the head. “Your father was the type of person who seemed determined to make you hate him. He would and could do amazing things to protect you, but only as long as it did something good for him in return. When it came time to do something good just to do it, he wasn’t interested.”
“That about sums it up.” Cal stood. He picked up the remote control and flipped the television to off. “I think it’s bedtime.”
“Then, I guess you’re going to be staying down here on that couch,” she said archly.
Cal shook his head. “I promise to behave myself. But I’m a big enough man to admit that I don’t want to be alone right now. Will you stay with me, Jesse Collins?”
He gazed at her for a long moment as she seemed to process his request. For just a moment, he was worried that she was going to deny him. Then she shook her head yes. “I’ll stay with you, Calvin Hernandez. But you’d better behave or I’ll rip your throat out.”
He did not doubt that she could, but he had serious doubts that she would. And that made him smile.
Chapter Seventeen
Brilliant rays of sunlight crept slowly across the bedroom. Cal blinked sleepily as they touched his face. His bedroom was west facing. Had he managed to fall asleep in his chair downstairs? He stretched and tried to decide why it didn’t feel like he was sitting up. Grogginess made
it difficult to open his eyes or focus on pretty much anything but the fact that he seemed to be sleeping on a cloud. It was way softer than the sagging mattress in his parents’ old bedroom.
“Hey.”
Cal realized that there was a very warm body pressed up against him. They were both still clothed, but that didn’t matter. The fact was that he could recognize Jesse by her scent and her voice. He wrapped his arms more securely around her and gave her a gentle squeeze.
“Hey yourself,” he whispered. His throat felt raw, and his voice was coming out sounding like gravel.
Yesterday had been a hell of a day no matter how he looked at it. From having to drag his livestock out of that low spot to his conversation with Paul Weatherby about the thefts, the day had been long and stressful. But what Cal still could not wrap his head around was the fact that his father was dead.
“Cal?”
She squirmed in his arms until she was facing him. She was still in her jeans and T-shirt just like he was. He could feel her toes tickling his shins. Then she reached up and cupped his face in her soft hands. She gently traced the bridge of his nose and his eyebrows. Her fingers found their way to his jawline. She stroked her way down his neck toward his collarbone and the neck of his T-shirt.
Her touch was electric. The sheer emotion behind it left him unable to speak. So many things were swirling around inside of him. And soon enough, he felt the sting of tears. He had not cried in so long. A decade or more perhaps. It was foreign, and yet it felt so good to let the pressure out. It was almost as if he were in danger of exploding if he didn’t let it out somehow.
“Cal, your father passed away yesterday.” Her whisper was almost too much. “It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to care.”
He wanted to argue that it wasn’t. Joe Hernandez did not deserve that kind of farewell from his sons. The man had been hard in life. What right did he have to softness now that he had passed? But there was no closure. There was nothing to help Cal feel as if his father had finally heard him. The emptiness was a vast gulf inside his soul, and he wondered if the sensation would ever abate.
“I remember,” she began softly, “when my parents passed. The worst part of the whole thing was the speed of how it happened. There was no time to say that I was sorry for lying about cleaning my room. There was no time to ask my father why he had gotten so angry with me for taking Pixie out in the snow the day before. There was just no time. I couldn’t ask them the why or anything. It hurt.”
Cal felt as though his jaw was finally unlocked. He cleared his throat and managed to speak in a hoarse voice. “There were so many things I wanted to say to that man.”
“And now you can’t.”
Her simple words unlocked the floodgates. Sobs racked Cal’s body. He cried as though his heart was broken. The pillow was soaked, and he thought his hair might even be wet. He had never cried like this. He had never cried so hard or so furiously. But the whole time, he was utterly aware of Jesse’s gentle hands smoothing over his face and her soft voice telling him that it was all going to be okay.
Soon enough, the storm began to subside. Cal felt empty. His insides were hollow, and there was nothing left inside. Then he felt her lips skimming over his throat. The morning stubble on his neck and chin made the touch feel that much more dramatic, and a shiver shot down his spine. He loved the way it felt to be touched by her.
Jesse’s hands found his shoulders. She nuzzled the hollow of his throat and began to kiss his neck and the sensitive skin around his collarbone. Her lips moved up to his ears. The sound of her breathing was a tickling promise that made him absolutely sure that she was just as affected by this as he was.
“You taste good,” she murmured.
He started to answer, but the feel of her tongue flicking along his windpipe made him feel as though he were going to melt right into the bed. He wrapped his arms lightly around her body and let the feel of her curves against his palms lift his excitement just that much more.
It was difficult to decide what was happening right now between them. Cal knew what he wanted. His body was crass and thought in absolutes. He knew how much physical desire he felt for Jesse. But this was not about that. And as he moved his mouth toward hers, he told himself that this was about love and respect and that beautiful connection he had been feeling between him and Jesse for more than a decade.
Cal nudged Jesse onto her back. He took her mouth in a deep, drugging kiss that made his toes curl and his heart pound. She made tiny noises in the back of her throat that drove him wild. He lightly ran the tip of his tongue along the seam of her lips. She parted them on a soft sigh, and he felt her tentatively reach out with her own tongue.
The feel of his tongue tangling slowly and languorously with hers was incredible. He loved the way it felt, and her taste was even better than he’d ever imagined it would be. There was something so spicy and so absolutely feminine about this woman. She was tougher and stronger than anyone he’d ever known. Her emotional range was shocking, and yet when he tasted her like this, she was nothing but softness and love.
Cal ran his hand up from her waist over her ribs. The tight muscle of her abdomen was erotic. He could feel each and every rib. His fingers gently brushed against the warmth of her side though there was still a layer of cotton between them. He felt the strap of her bra, and excitement wound its way through his system. Blood rushed through his veins. His skin grew even more sensitized, and he felt as though they were standing on top of a cliff with nothing but a sheer drop below.
The sense of being on the edge of something huge was overwhelming. Cal gently moved his hand toward Jesse’s breast. He cupped the softness and marveled at the way it filled his hand to perfection. He ran his thumb lightly over her nipple. Through the fabric of her bra and her T-shirt, he felt it begin to swell and plump. Circling the bud with his thumb, he felt her areola begin to pucker. He thought warmly about her lovely body and her wonderful mind. He kissed her deeply and heard her moan against his lips to tell him how much she really loved the way it felt to be touched by him.
She broke away from their kiss and arched her back to push her breast against his palm. “You’re driving me crazy!” she gasped. “I’ve never felt like this!”
“So, you like it?” He could not help but tease. “Because I couldn’t really tell.”
“Is that right?” Her low laugh sent a riot of chills across his skin. “Because I think I could make you feel it if I wanted to.”
“Oh, really?” He loved the playfulness that had always existed between them. Nobody had ever been so comfortable around him. Not like Jesse. “I think it’s time to prove it.”
She laughed and squirmed beneath him until she managed to push him first to his side and then to his back. Jesse pounced on him. She threw her leg over his waist and pulled herself astride his body. Placing her hands flat on his chest, she stared down at him.
The impish gleam in her dark eyes took his breath away. He felt the heat and weight of her right across his groin. It was exciting, but he was so willing to wait and to enjoy this moment. Right here and right now, this was all he wanted.
Jesse wriggled on top of him. “Now. You’re my prisoner.”
“And what are you planning to do with me?” He couldn’t wait to hear what she came up with. Just about anything sounded good.
She slowly leaned forward until her breasts were just barely touching his chest. He felt as though he could not breathe. Then she put her lips against his chin and bit lightly against the flesh and bone.
It didn’t hurt. It was strangely erotic and exciting all at the same time. Her lips traveled over his jaw. She nibbled and nipped her way toward his ear. Then she bit down on the sensitive lobe just before she used her tongue to trace the shell of his ear. He shivered. Every ounce of his focus was centered on this woman.
The way she touched him was absolutely driving him wild. She kneaded his shoulders and dragged her nails over the cotton of his T-shirt. She plucked at his nipples t
hrough the fabric until he was grunting and groaning and feeling crazed like some bull that had no other purpose but to procreate.
She began rocking against him as she gently lowered her mouth toward his. Her lips barely brushed his mouth. She lightly licked his lips before biting him and then smoothing her tongue over the same area over and over again until he thought he was going to melt.
Finally, she groaned and sank deeply into a kiss that left him grabbing the sheets and blankets to keep himself from flinging her onto her back so that he could ravish her. He struggled to maintain control. This was not about him. It was about them. He wanted so badly for her to feel comfortable. There would be time enough for other things later, once all of the insanity was over. For now, he just wanted this woman to know that she was the one he wanted.
Finally, her kisses grew slower and almost lazy. She lay flat on his chest with her cheek pressed against his shoulder and her nose buried in the hollow of his neck. Her hands idly traced inane patterns against his biceps. And he wrapped his arms around her and gave her a warm hug to hold her close.
“What are you thinking?” he whispered.
“I’m thinking that I can’t believe I’ve never felt like this about anyone else.” Her words weren’t a surprise, but it always bothered him to think of her with anyone but him. “People have been telling me almost my whole life that if I would just open my heart, I’d find someone else to make me happy.”
“And what do you believe about that?” Cal murmured.
She sighed and kissed his neck. “I think that I’ve tried to hang out with other guys. I’ve gone on dates. I’ve been with a few—well, I guess you call them lovers, right? And I know I’m only twenty-one. It’s not like I’ve met a whole lot of people in my twenty-one years on this planet, but the people I have met just don’t come close to making me feel like this.”
His heart did a double tap. “I know what you mean.” He thought about the few other girlfriends he’d had. There had never been this driving urge to be with them. It was all primal and over quickly. Any interest he felt in them burned out just as quickly as it flared to life in the first place. “You’ve been on my mind for a very long time, and I just don’t think that I want that to change.”