by Woods, Erica
“Oh, Jason . . . That’s so far from the truth.” No longer able to stand the distance between us, I stepped into his body and threw my arms around his middle. A shudder went through him, and when I tilted my head back, he was staring at me with such longing I almost cried. “It wasn’t about you. Bonding to you,” I explained. Knowing the next part was going to be hard, I fixated on the dark blue shirt he was wearing and spoke to torso. “I was scared because you don’t know about my past. It felt like I was betraying you, tricking you maybe? Once you know, you won’t want to be with me anymore. I can’t let you make a commitment like that without knowing everything about me. It’s not fair to you. Any of you.”
Eyes still glued to his shirt, I didn’t dare look up when his entire body went still. Then his breathing evened out, like he’d made a decision.
Did he think I was right?
My heart dropped out of my stomach, past my feet, and landed somewhere near the earth’s core.
He’d want space. Time alone. I’d lose my light, my sun, my Jason.
But then he placed a finger under my chin, tilted my face up, and narrowed eyes that burned. “That is the dumbest thing you’ve ever said, love.”
Despite his chiding tone, my heart skipped with hope. He’d called me love again. Did that mean he forgave me? “W-which part?”
“All of it. Look at me,” he demanded when my eyes flitted away, unable to hold his hard gaze. “There’s nothing you could have done in the past that would change how I feel about you. The past is the past, my love, and you won’t find happiness in the present as long as you cling to the shadows of a life that’s already been lived.”
My heart gave an almost painful thud, and I briefly closed my eyes. What he’d said made sense, but those words didn’t belong to me. They belonged to him, to my guys—not me. Not after what I’d done, the life I’d taken. And though I was prepared to give them my secrets, I knew what I’d face.
Fury.
Disgust.
Hatred.
Maybe that was why Jason was unable to take his own advice. If he felt the same way—certain of the reaction he’d face—how could I convince him that I’d love him no matter what had happened in the past?
“Jason, I—”
“Don’t you know by now that I love you, woman?”
I gasped, gaze flying up to caress his face.
Frowning fiercely, he looked less like a man confessing his love and more like one about to battle. “I don’t give a flying fuck about whatever evil you think you’ve done. It changes nothing. Not how I see you, and certainly not how I feel about you.”
An electric jolt raced down my middle and sparked a storm of emotions. They clogged my throat, and when I tried to speak, my voice was thick and clumsy. “That’s . . . That’s just what I—”
“You don’t have to say anything.” His tone was calm. Even. His earlier pain buried in favor of assuring me I didn’t have to do anything I wasn’t ready for.
If I hadn’t already loved him, I’d have lost a piece of my heart right then.
“I love you,” I blurted, heart wrenching when shock wiped his expression clean. “That’s what I was trying to say before—”
Jason swooped down and captured my lips in a kiss so tender, so filled with emotion, that when he drew away, my chest ached. And it continued aching through the broad smile that formed on his lips, the joy that lit up those beautiful amber eyes and turned them to liquid gold.
“I love you,” he said again, grinning when I whispered it back. Strong arms came around my back and pressed me up against Jason’s much larger body. “But I love you more.”
I sniffed, heart feeling close to bursting, and tipped my head back. I had to see him, had to watch his handsome face to make sure this wasn’t a dream, that he really did love me.
They both love you. Him and Ruarc.
Heat warmed my chest.
I didn’t deserve it. Didn’t deserve them. But that didn’t change the fact I’d cling to the warmth of their love for as long as they’d let me.
Jason ran a finger down my nose and tapped the tip. “No more silly thoughts of us not wanting you, okay?”
Some of my joy fled. “Then you have to do the same, Jason. I don’t care about your past. I love the man standing in front of me today. You’re warm and funny, and very handsome,” I added with a blush that made Jason grin. “Without you, I don’t think I could ever smile again.”
Shadows briefly darkened the startling amber of his eyes but then he shook his head and a slow, utterly-Jason grin appeared.
Were they gone? Banished? Or simply biding their time?
“Then I’ll make it my mission to keep you smiling for the rest of your life. Starting now.” The grin widened, a devilish gleam entering his eyes. Then a finger was ruthlessly pushed into the indentation between my ribs, startling a squeal out of me.
“No! No! Not like that!” I cried out, stuck between a giggle and a half sob when he touched a particularly ticklish spot.
“Oh, just like that, love.”
“I believe you’ve had enough time for yourselves.” Lucien’s dry voice made Jason pause in his torture.
Pulling against his hold, I turned my head to Lucien. “Help!” I gasped, reaching out to him and watching as his expression turned carefully neutral. The look he shot Jason was unfathomable, and had I not been squirming for all I was worth trying to escape the self-proclaimed tickle monster, I wouldn’t have been able to resist running over to him and cupping his too-beautiful face in my hands while searching for the reason behind his sudden stillness.
Just when I felt sure I couldn’t handle any more tickling without losing complete control of things I’d rather not lose control of, rough hands yanked me out of Jason’s grip and a furious growl filled the space between us.
Jason lifted both hands in a ‘I’m-no-danger’ gesture, a grin still playing about his lips.
The hard chest I was pressed against was too wide to be anyone other than Ruarc, and if I’d had any doubts, the wild smell wrapping around me would have cleared those up right away.
“She called for help.”
I twisted around so I could look up into the glorious silver orbs staring daggers at Jason. “He was just tickling me, Ruarc. But thank you for rescuing me.” Giving him a gentle smile, I cupped his stubbled cheek against my palm.
He was still growly and stiff when he replied, but at least he’d stopped vibrating. “Always, mo chridhe.”
“You can put me down now,” I said with a hint of regret. I loved being in his arms, but it was imperative I didn’t appear weak in front of the other lycans. The guys hadn’t told me everything about the society I was becoming a part of simply by being with my guys, but they had told me lycans respected strength above all other things. And it wasn’t just about physical strength.
“No.”
It took me a few seconds to understand that Ruarc’s ‘no’ had been aimed at me. “What do you mean, no?”
He bared his teeth in half a smile. “Like you in my arms.”
“Let her down.” Lucien walked past us, heading down the narrow path that led to the road we’d followed when we’d arrived.
When Ruarc stared after his back with a set jaw and narrowed eyes, Jason laughed and slapped him on the back. “Come on, brother. The Council awaits.”
“Don’t remind me,” Ruarc muttered, but he begrudgingly let me down. As soon as my feet touched the ground, both my hands were captured. With Ruarc on my right and Jason on the left, we followed Lucien.
“What about Ash?” I twisted my neck to look behind us. The others had disappeared behind the back of the house, and so far only Lucien had returned.
“He’ll be here soon, love. They’re probably just going over some last minute details. Like how to keep your sexy ass out of trouble.”
Ruarc grunted his agreement at the same time I huffed out an indignant breath. “I don’t get into trouble!”
“You are trouble,”
Ruarc muttered as we reached the main road. Lucien was waiting for us up ahead where the road abruptly ended and the rolling hills I’d so admired when we first got here began.
“All five circles will be needed,” Lucien said in a grim tone. “At least five thousand packs decided to show up this year.” A few feet ahead, a sloping decline began, and at the bottom the big hill a huge crowd had gathered.
“I thought it was mandatory to be here?” I said, trying to ignore my unease with so many dangerous beings converged in one place.
“Only those who’ve been called by the Council have to be here,” Jason said. “For the rest, it’s a chance to air grievances, form alliances, and make sure no laws are passed that they don’t agree with. All the major packs show up for every Assembly, but a lot of the smaller ones—the ones keeping to themselves—only come occasionally.”
I looked between the three of them, noting their tense stances and the watchful way each scanned everything around us. “Is that a bad thing, then? That so many have come now?”
“Not necessarily,” Jason replied while the other two scanned the shadows hiding among the trees. “It could just mean more packs have heard about Rederick’s ridiculous new law.”
“Rederick? What law?”
“It’s bullshit,” Ruarc snarled. “It won’t pass.”
“Damned straight.” With a wink at me, Jason dropped my hand and stepped next to Lucien. Seeing them standing next to each other like that reminded me of the first time I’d seen them and how I’d compared Jason to the sun and Lucien to the moon. The analogy still kind of suited them, but Lucien wasn’t as cold as I’d first thought. When I’d seen his icy exterior and unparalleled beauty, I would never have guessed at the fiery emotions hiding behind the surface of that cold, cold mask he always wore. But now that I’d caught glimpses, and now that he’d kissed me with so much passion just thinking about it made my breath speed up and my heart flutter, I knew better.
The men in question turned until their backs were to me and Ruarc. Lucien pointed to something I couldn’t see, Jason nodding before saying something too low for me to catch.
“Come here.” Ruarc distracted me from trying to listen when he pulled me back and plastered me to his front. A kiss to the back of my neck, a deep, low rumble, and I was lost in the irresistible strength of his arms around me, in the enticing, wild scent that I’d grown to associate with both safety and pleasure.
When his palm brushed over my nipples at the same time his teeth nipped at my neck, I whimpered and spun around in his arms. His mouth found mine, and for the next few minutes, there were no thoughts in my head except for thoughts of him.
31
Lucien
While Ruarc distracted the female—and I pretended my blood wasn’t boiling in my veins—Jason joined me at the edge of the steep, downward hill and pointed out Rederick and his followers. Thirty or so males stood in a loose circle around him at the edge of the woods below, a couple more lurking near the trees, using the long-reaching shadows to hide the shame of their presence.
Rederick, with his chest puffed out and his chin tucked in to take on an air of importance, gestured as he preached, looking less like the general he no doubt saw himself as and more like a pompous lord holding court. How many of the gathered imbeciles agreed with his harebrained thinking? How many would throw their support behind him when the time came?
“Do you see Miles? What’s he doing there?” Jason’s dark mutter drew my focus to a tall, lanky male standing a few feet behind Rederick.
“Perhaps he believes Rederick can help further his agenda.”
Jason snorted. “You think?”
“I seem to recall it was only last year that Miles went before the Assembly and suggested females should not be given the right to choose their mates.” It had been a disgusting display of a furious male who’d failed to win the affections of the only female in his pack. Even more disturbing, the suggested law had been supported by more than a few wolves.
“Allowing the strongest males to claim the females he wants is quite a far cry from Rederick’s anti-human laws,” Jason said.
“Not when the laws Rederick is proposing have to do with the mating rules surrounding human females as well as halflings.” Disgust laced my tone. “Or perhaps Miles is looking to trade favors; his support now in return for Rederick’s support later. Together their packs count for a quite a few votes.”
“The other packs won’t stand for it. Too many of the alphas have female relatives; they won’t risk them losing their rights.”
“Perhaps not,” I agreed. “But too many hate humans and none care about human females.”
A silent snarl twisted Jason’s features, and he cast a glance back toward the only human I had ever cared about. “They’d kill her?”
My jaw snapped shut. It took me a few seconds to force it loose enough to respond. “They will never have the chance.” The whispered promise zapped some of Jason’s tension.
“Good,” he said and rolled his shoulders. Then, with a sudden grin, he clasped my arm and looked back toward the female. “You have a difficult road ahead of you, mate.”
Anger flared, and I shook off his touch. “Do not pretend to know my thoughts.”
“You want to claim our sweet Hope, don’t you?”
“That is none of your business.”
When his grin only widened, I considered the merit of throwing him down the hill. A few good tumbles, a knock or two on the head, and perhaps a grass burn. That should see him humbled.
The smug expression vanished and his eyes narrowed. “What are you plotting?”
“What makes you think I am plotting?”
“I know you, Lucien. When you get that distant, glazed look in your eyes and your lips curl at the corner like that . . .”
I wiped my expression clean. “It was nothing.” No matter how much the pup annoyed me, I could never truly harm him.
“Fine, keep your secrets,” he said, already shifting his attention to Hope. A tender smile curved his lips as he took her in. It grew when she turned and found him with unerring accuracy, as though she couldn’t wait to see him even though she’d been wrapped around Ruarc only a few moments ago.
How vulnerable she makes him. Makes them all.
Before Ruarc and Hope could join us, Jason leaned in for a last, unwanted piece of advice. “Let her see the true you, brother.”
I scoffed, preparing to tell him how ridiculous he was being, but he tossed an unconcerned hand in the air, turned, and rushed to meet the troublesome female.
Her squeal when he threw her into the air, catching her with a grin and pulling her close to his chest, made me grit my teeth with annoyance. And when she smiled up at him, laughing when Ruarc growled a warning at Jason for being so careless, that annoyance turned to frustration.
Why did she grant them her warm smiles and beautiful laughter? Why did shyly offer them her affection while she flinched whenever I made a sudden move? I’d swallowed more insults in the last twenty-four hours than the majority of my life put together. Instead of yelling at her when she refused to tell us about the other male, I’d asked reasonable questions. Instead of terrifying her into confessing, I’d silently fumed while she wrapped Ash around her little finger until he no longer seemed to care about the answers we were seeking.
What we did not know of her past could lead to her doom. How did they fail to see that?
“Are you okay?” Hope asked when they reached me, one overbearing, overprotective male on each side.
“Fine.”
She hesitated, eyes lowered, tracing strange paths with the tip of her shoe. “It’s just . . . you seem a bit agitated.”
I couldn’t stop watching her tiny foot as it nervously tracked back and forth across the hard-packed ground. How had someone so small, someone so defenseless, survived past childhood? Were all humans this fragile?
“Lucien?” Wide eyes blinked up at me, and suddenly I was furious.
“I
said I was fine,” I snapped and pretended the hurt flashing over her expressive face didn’t rip me open.
Spinning on my heels, I started down the hill. I didn’t have time for a female’s delicate sensibilities and prying questions. We had a trying day ahead—even more so tomorrow—and while Zakh would be busy protecting our female, I had a job to do.
The next few days would be challenging, but it would be nothing compared to the fallout should we fail to discover which packs intended to support Rederick. If they were going to vote in his favor, they would also vote against Hope when we presented our case.
And that could not be allowed to happen.
Everyone—every alpha, every enforcer, every lycan—had a weakness. It was simply a matter of discovering those weaknesses and applying the right amount of pressure. Too much and they would become careless. Rabid. Believing they had a better chance of killing you than surviving your blackmail. But apply too little and they did not fear you enough to obey.
It was a delicate art, but I had plenty of experience.
Soft treads through the surrounding woods preceded Ash’s return. He murmured something to Hope, and then our pack started down the hill that ended in a huge circle of grassland surrounded by forest.
Though I focused on the sights and scents and sounds surrounding us as we made our way down, my attention never strayed too far from Rederick.
Someone controlled the Strays that had attempted to abduct Hope. Someone deemed themselves a master, the Strays their puppets. Suspecting Rederick was easy, but that did not mean we could afford to make assumptions.
The male was arrogance incarnate, believing himself above those not of pure blood and high status. It seemed . . . unlikely he’d sully himself with banished, dishonored lycans. But if not him, who?
And would they try again?
Cold, insidious wrath turned the blood in my veins to blades of frost.
Whoever had been behind the attack, I would find them. I would find the male Hope hid from us. And I would find a way to destroy Rederick before his law claimed the life of my troublesome little female.