"How can you ask that? That damn thing just killed two hundred of us, just like that, without thinking, cos in its mind, its the boss. We didn't kill them, Ally, it did. The entire human race is watching it do it over and over again and we know it. Don't you feel it? We actually know what's going on! Every day that goes by is a betrayal, by us, of every other human there is. This is what we have to do."
She hated herself for it, but couldn't keep it in.
"I'm scared."
Her voice sounded small, so meek after his outburst, but she was shaking and couldn't stop, despite the warmth of his hands and the comfort of his mind. He stepped forward and wrapped her in his arms, burying her head against his chest.
"Yeah, me too, me too."
They stood like that for a while, before he slowly pushed her away, looking down into her eyes. She closed them, taking deep breaths, then opened them again and nodded. He grinned, tight and business-like, and nodded back.
The corridors were much quieter, the long twisting tunnels now broad avenues bearing only occasional passengers. They walked past two more pairs of armoured men, brandishing guns and staring at them. She could feel sweat running down her neck, waiting for them to step out and stop them, and that voice to creep into her head, as she had every time since the hanger. She could feel their eyes burning into her and she stared resolutely forward, trying to look calm and casual, even as her hands were twisting around themselves stuffed deep in her pockets.
They passed without incident and she let out a huge breath, fighting the terrible urge to turn and look and see if they were still being stared at.
In the first round of freeing people they had visited all of those Stem had got to know during his searches, so now it was about finding someone, anyone, who was on their own. They'd become adept at the process, no longer needing to hold the person's hand to undo the Lord's power. This made the search easier.
They found her in a room near the enormous kitchens that made much of the food they ate on board. She was kneading dough, huge rolls of flour and fat, before dumping it into trays and shoving them in the oven. If the work was monotonous, she showed little sign of it, approaching each new batch with the same enthusiasm. Stem began to chat, getting her talking whilst Ally wandered around and looked at the room.
She could feel herself getting nervous. The sweat had started to trickle down again and she kept twisting around to check the door. She knew as soon as she stepped into the woman's mind, the Lord would be there. Her breath was coming in short, panting gasps and her hands were shaking. They'd decided that she would free the first person. Stem had no difficulty with it, but she was still more adept, more natural. Also, they both felt happier with him doing the talking. She glanced across to him looking calm and cool, and he caught her eye, nodding slightly.
She sucked in some air, clenched her fists tight, then stepped across and brushed her hand across the woman's bare shoulder. She opened to her and she stepped in, finding the slimy coating and dissolving it, letting it melt away beneath her presence.
Coming back to herself as quickly as she could, she stood waiting, shoulders hunched. Nothing. The woman had stopped kneading and was looking at Stem, frozen in confusion. He stepped closer to her and began to talk quietly, one hand on her shoulder calming whilst he explained how she had been a prisoner her whole life.
Ally stepped back, trying desperately to breathe and slow her heart-rate, eyes still flicking towards the door. As the seconds passed, she began to relax, letting her shoulders drop and her head sag to her chest. After a while, Stem touched her gently on the shoulder.
"Amara's gonna be fine, we picked the right person, lucky for us. I think we should go now."
They left the room quietly, leaving the still-reeling Amara sat, hands white and eyes wide.
The rest of the day was spent on a knife edge, heads down in the engine and jumping at every sound. Aside from the occasional guard patrol, all was quiet and as the hours ticked by, she became more and more confident that the Lord was unaware of what they'd done. Sleep took a long time to come that night, but as she lay, feeling Stem's warm body pressed against her own, she felt the slightest glimmer of hope, the smallest belief that some good might come from this after all.
They'd been drifting and the atmosphere that surrounded the veil was drawing them closer. The screens were filled with the pale gases and she heaved the sticks, pulling them away and back into clear space. There was still no way through, nothing to explain how the Lords sent entire armies beyond the strange shield.
Chapter Twelve
She unbuckled and stood, stretching until her hands pressed against the cockpit roof. Flicking the override button, she let the Vale maintain course, staying parallel with the barrier as she made brief laps. This pretty much meant walking on the spot, but it was better than sitting still. The tension was unbearable, expecting any minute to see ships coming at them whilst the veil stretched, endless.
Although it had been only the last couple of months, it felt like that tension had been with her forever, she couldn't remember what it felt like to be relaxed. Her shoulders were solid, her back aching and she craved sleep; peaceful, untroubled sleep. It had been in short supply once they began to rebuild their army.
The days had gone slowly, finding odd ones and twos in places where they could free them and be sure of having a conversation once they had. By some sheer blind luck, and in part due to Stem's quick tongue, they'd not had any freed person who demanded instant revenge. There was a lot of anger, resentment, all of the things she herself felt, but it was tempered by a willingness to wait, to play the long game.
They had played more games, winning some and taking themselves out of another through an 'unfortunate accident'. This had meant clipping an engine on an asteroid, a trick she was rather proud of and one that meant they kept the Vale in almost perfect condition.
A month had gone by and the time was nearly up. She sat in the engine, summoning up the courage to go out again into the Homeship.
They'd started going solo, able to get through more people and be less conspicuous. It meant that she was often sat here in the morning, struggling with the messy contents of her mind. Three months since the great game. Three months since dad had gone and she'd left him on the hanger floor. Six weeks since she'd led two hundred free, innocent people to their death. For all of Stem's belief and for all of her own, she was struggling.
The water was over her head, and she was kicking, kicking, just to stay afloat. Such a short time ago, life had been stable, and predictable, and easy. All of the crap they'd lived with and complained about was nothing more than a dull ache, a background noise that she'd learned to tune out. Now, everything was difficult, everything was an effort, from getting out of bed in the morning, to walking the corridors with fear in every step. She knew she didn't mean it but sometimes she wished she were back under the cloud, safe in her ignorance and apathy, and safe with dad. Every time she thought about him, it hurt. She couldn't let herself think about him too much, or she wouldn't do anything at all.
She stood, breaking the surface and letting the water sweep her doubts away. Today was the last day, and it needed to count. Tomorrow morning, the war would begin.
She'd freed another four people by the time she staggered back into their cubby and sank down to lean against the huge tank that filled the dead end. Stem was already there, pacing, anxious and filled with energy. She sat and watched him, feeling what life she had left being drained away.
"All set?"
"Uhhh."
He crouched down onto his haunches, gently lifting her head with his fingers and kissing her. She stared at him through slitted eyes, drinking in the sight, knowing more than she'd ever thought possible how likely it was that they would never have this chance again. She grabbed him, pulling him down to her with a panicked need to be close. She could feel the tears running down her cheeks as their mouths crushed together and their minds became tangled.
She sl
ept fitfully that night, waking often, but her dreams were blissfully free of the darkness that had plagued her since the hanger.
The next morning found them twitchy and on-edge. They were far from Earth, far from anywhere really, but today the humans were finally fighting back, today was the beginning.
She headed out early, making contact with those who would make the first strike. Their roles would be simple. One task apiece and then back to normal work and apparent innocence. Once they'd met and the OK was given, the three freed headed for the lifts that ran down from the top deck. The same lifts that she and Stem had staggered from only weeks previously were the first target. Within an hour of their meeting, one of them was out of action.
The next target was somewhat larger and would, they hoped, be the catalyst for what they planned. They had liberated a number of engineers, slaves who worked on other parts of the ship. One came from the life support section, another cavernous hole deep in the bowels.
With help from a few others, he spent the morning isolating and then shutting down the air supply for the top deck. He then proceeded to dismantle the machinery that operated it.
Next up were the strike teams. This was the thing she was most worried about. The guards they felt sure had to be under some form of direct control; not just the creepy mind glue she and Stem were able to remove. She couldn't believe that people would be willing to bear arms without it. Stem had argued that the game was just like that, whilst snorting and asking her if she'd ever played with boys growing up. Her response that she'd never played at all growing up made him shut up, even though he had a point.
Even so, she was still nervous and watched as the first group went into action. She hovered in the doorway to the engine as the five freed she had just spoken to fell into step behind two of the soldiers. As they came past the door, they grabbed the men, dragging them into the engine. Within seconds both were knocked unconscious and their weapons taken.
She knelt beside one, her hand tentatively reaching out. She touched his shoulder and sunk inside, finding his brain. As with the bread maker, and every person since, she quivered in anticipation, waiting for the voice that would make everything they were doing pointless. And once again, it didn't come. She cleared his brain and left him, now sleeping peacefully and free. Once she'd repeated the process for the second guard, she sat back, head resting against the wall. She realised the others were standing, watching her and she smiled with a shrug.
"It's all good, guys. We have two more for the team and no one was listening."
Satisfied, they left to search for another pair. She stayed as she was, her mind drifting. She had, for the first time, really understood the creature they were fighting. That it had take so long to really grasp it seemed terrifying, but given how long the human race had been buying it, she supposed she'd done quite well.
They thought that the Lord was malicious, evil, but she thought now that it was otherwise. To him they were nothing more than insects, creatures to be used in whichever way was most beneficial. For the Lords who lived on Earth, the mind numbing centuries of pretending to listen to and consider what the natives were saying must have been torture, like humans making a truce with cows or sheep. The alien wasn't unaware of what they were doing on its Homeship because they were being sneaky, or clever. It just didn't even consider that someone, something so insignificant, would think of rebelling. It probably thought the rebellion of a couple of months ago had been years in the planning and that she and Stem, different or not, were probably living in abject terror.
On the last part, at least for her, it wasn't that far from the truth. But it had underestimated the rage and resilience of the people it used so carelessly. She thought that even if today went as planned, it would still not understand why.
Lunch time came around and with it the largest gathering they'd dared since beginning again. About thirty of them congregated in the engine, faces lit from within and heartbeats racing. The air on the top deck would start to become stale later that afternoon, but they couldn't say exactly when, or how the Lord would react. This was the biggest random element, the thing they absolutely couldn't control. They'd argued about that as well, but neither had been able to think of a better way of getting the Lord down to the lower levels without giving the game away. The teams all confirmed their work was done and the meeting split up, each person going to their workplace to wait.
She and Stem headed for the Vale, to make their own preparations. All being well, and the power of the Lord gone, they would leave tonight. They knew that regardless of how things turned out, they wouldn't stay on board. They would be bound for Earth, their cargo too precious to risk with anyone else.
There were only so many times they could tighten things and check readouts and eventually made their way back to the engine, to the cubby they'd finally shared for the past few weeks. She couldn't feel sorry about leaving. There was no sense of leaving home, no sadness left to feel. Them being together all the time should have been wonderful, something amazing, but the way it had happened, the reason for them ending up this way was still tearing her up. She hadn't even thought about it, hadn't allowed herself to think about it, knowing what would happen when she did.
So she glanced around their sleeping space, shrugged, then headed out to wait in the canteen.
It was busy, freed sat with slaves, the former surging inside but calm on the outside and the latter simply calm. Most were watching the TV, some show from Earth that she recognised now as propaganda. Every show was some lovely slice of family life or something romantic. She didn't think it was for them, but for the people on Earth, some subtle way of telling them how great their lives were, of keeping them content. For those on the Homeship it was close to torture, but she could see from the faces of the slaves that it wasn't causing any pain. She shuddered as she thought about how she'd been like that, how dad had been like that.
For the first time in ages, she thought of mum. Dad had never said how she died, but it hadn't been in the game. She had been wondering where she got the strange abilities from, the ones that made her so different, and perhaps mum was the answer.
Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the TV losing picture and instead showing static. Every freed in the canteen abruptly stood, the fight to remain cool and calm lost with the signal. She took a deep breath, looking at her hands and marvelling at the lack of shakiness she exhibited. That would change.
They left in ones and twos, heading to the hallway into which the last remaining lift would disgorge its strange passenger. She slipped in, spotting Stem and heading over to him. Many of the freed wouldn't be here, wouldn't see what was about to happen, but the forty or so that had been sitting in the canteen were now spread out around the walls. Waiting for them were guns, leaning against the wall and it was these they now picked up, settling down to aim at the lift.
Stem was handling the camera, the final and most important piece of the puzzle. She looked at the small black box he held, her face wrinkled slightly as she thought again about the power of images, of what people would believe when they saw it on TV. Then she turned back to the lift, her hands now beginning to shake. Walking steadily, she placed herself on one side of the lift doors, as close as she could. Knowing what she was about to attempt, she felt her breathing grow shallow, taking quick gasps as she struggled to stay calm. The door opposite the lift suddenly looked incredibly inviting and she had to clench her fists hard enough to dig her short nails into her palms; the abrupt pain keeping her steady.
There was a gentle thump as the lift came to a halt and then the doors slid open and the Lord stepped carefully out. She stepped forward, feeling her gorge rise. Swallowing hard, she touched its arm. It felt cool and surprisingly un-slimy. The physical feelings faded as she fell and everything she had learned in the months since her awakening was stripped away in the face of something so much bigger.
Her world expanded, the mind she'd expected to enter a speck in something far greater and she cou
ld feel the stars brushing her consciousness, planets obscured by the light. She understood in a heartbeat how the Lords could view humans the way they did. It was like she was 'reading' the universe, every mind of every being singing and screeching and laughing and crying. She should have been deafened, driven mad by the sound, but the Lord's brain was a filter, deadening the sound to a dull roar. Her fear had left her as she floated, amazed by what she felt.
She became aware of one of the sounds, slowly emerging from the cacophony, a voice that made her fear return and hit her like a wave. She gasped, trying to leave, to return to her body, but nothing happened. It came closer, meaning emerging from the din, as it came into view.
"So you're back, dreamer, human who talks within, border race who tries to be as us, as more than she is. What will you accomplish today, have you brought more of your kind for the war?"
For the first time since being in the ballroom all those years ago, she felt her fear begin to fade. The voice still made her feel sick, but she knew that wherever they were, it wasn't inside the Lord's brain. It didn't feel like that, it didn't feel evil.
It felt strangely wonderful, everything that existed joined together. The creature talking to her lived here, just as she could, but here was far more than just one mind. She focused in on the voice, the strange chitinous body, and the Lord came into view, floating before her. She sent out her presence and pushed. A smile appeared on her face as the creature flew away from her, thrown away across the star-strewn void. Her smile widened as she reached out and pulled, drawing it closer once again.
"That'll do for a start, my Lord."
She could see no emotion, could read nothing in its glinting, alien eyes.
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