“Answer me.” His hand twitched on the trigger.
“I couldn’t sleep, so I came down here.” The lame excuse didn’t sit right with me, and I doubted it did with him. I tried to add something more tangible. “I start my training in the morning with Gregor. I don’t know much about this stuff and wanted to get a look at what I’ll be working with tomorrow.”
“As I said, you don’t belong here, not now, not ever, and especially not alone.” He nodded as if agreeing with himself.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know the rules. No one told me not to leave my cabin.” I raised my hands and took a step back. “Look, I am an unarmed man. Please, put down the weapon.”
“Not a chance in hell. You murdered my son, Rory. He was a good boy. Never did any foul. In my book, that makes you unworthy to be aboard this ship.”
“Captain Blair thinks otherwise. Learning to be a powder monkey and take Rory’s place—”
“No one will ever replace my son.”
I finished my sentence and ignored his comment. “…is my penance for what I have done. He brought me on board to learn the trade. I’m getting familiar with the supplies and equipment. There’s no harm in that, is there?”
“No harm, huh.” He stepped away from me but kept the gun aimed at my head. With his free hand, he pulled a knife out of his waistband, flipped the knife in the air, and caught the handle with precise skill. “We’ll see what Captain Blair says about no harm when he sees what I caught you doing.”
“But I didn’t—”
Fear sealed my throat, cutting off my ability to speak. I tried to go toward Kane, but he flicked the gun in my direction, demanding I stay put. I stood and watched him place the knife between his teeth. Then he took several of the canvas bags and drew them across the blade, tearing the bags and making them useless for cartridges.
After slicing through several dozen bags, he turned and looked at me. A glimmer of evil sparkled in his eyes. His look terrified me.
“Once I tell the Captain how I found you down here tonight, sabotaging our weapon’s stock, he’ll give me a commendation for saving The Libertine and everyone aboard.”
“You’d kill me for nothing more than a pat on the back from the Captain.” I glanced at my surroundings and tried to find something I could use to disarm Kane.
“I’m doing this for my son.” He stood and repositioned the pistol in his grip. He aimed and readied himself to pull the trigger. I had seconds to live.
“Captain, please!” I shouted and nodded in Kane’s direction.
My diversion worked. Kane took a quick glance behind him. Without a second to lose, I ran toward the cannon rammer, which leaned against one of the barrels of gunpowder. I grabbed it, and by the time Kane looked back in my direction, I had begun my downward drive. The heavy wooden end, used to stuff the cartridges into the cannon, made contact with Kane’s jaw. I heard bones or teeth shatter. Blood spewed from his mouth. He lost his balance. The pistol hit the floor and slid into the shadows. Kane fell to the floor on his hands and knees. His head hung between his outstretched arms. He spat a tooth, and a thick stream of bloody drool fell from his lips.
“Get up, Kane.” I tightened my grip on the wooden handle. “Come on.” I coaxed. He tried to speak. His lips moved, but his jaw, a mangled mass of flesh and shattered bones, didn’t. His speech garbled and slurred, made his words unrecognizable. He screeched like a wild boar, lifted himself from the floor, and charged me. I was ready for him. I brought the rammer sideways across my body and struck him on the side of his head. He body swayed in the direction of the mallet and slammed against the floor. I walked over toward him. My blow had rendered him unconscious. Unfortunately, a new problem arose: I needed this man, who witnessed my treachery, dead.
I thought about bludgeoning him to death, but the mess of blood and gore would be too much to clean in the short amount of time I had left before dawn. Even shooting him with his pistol would leave too many traces, not to mention the noise. I eyed my surroundings, trying to take in the vast supplies piled in every nook and cranny. When I saw several large, canvas bags lying under the ladder, I knew how Kane would die.
I dropped the rammer and ran over to the bags. They were large sacks, perhaps designed to carry potatoes or other quantities of product. I didn’t care. They were stout and thick and would conceal Kane’s body. I took two bags and managed to stuff most of Kane’s body into the bag. When I pulled on the drawstring, the bag closed around his neck. I took the second bag and started at Kane’s head, working down toward his feet. With his body hidden, I wrapped the drawstring around my wrist, squatted, and then pulled Kane’s body up my back and across my shoulder. I strained to get my balance under his bulk. Once situated, I made my way up through the lower deck, then the galley.
Winded from climbing the ladders with the weight on my back, I rested for a brief moment once I stood on the main deck of the ship. As I rested, I remembered Kane had been with another man earlier in the evening. I turned and looked over the quarterdeck to the navigation room. Kane’s assistant stood alone, manning the ship. I needed to dispose of Kane’s body over the side of the ship before the navigator saw me or Kane woke up, which, given the slight, shifting in the bag, would be sooner rather than later. I adjusted Kane on my back and managed to get over to the starboard side. Without hesitating, I rolled Kane off my back and into the depths of the ocean below. The sound of the waves striking the side of The Libertine deadened any splash the man’s weight made as he hit the water.
My body ached and begged me to return to my quarters for a few hours of rest, but I knew such a notion was not attainable. Instead, I made my way once again through the shadows of the moon and clouds and returned to the magazine to rid the room of any evidence of our struggle and Kane’s disappearance. I had little in the way of cleaning supplies, so I did what I could to rub Kane’s blood into the floorboards, hoping no one would notice some minor discolorations. I gathered several of his teeth, placed them inside one of the canvas bags, then strategically placed the bag nearest to the barrel of gunpowder so I could identify the sabotaged cartridge during my training. Once filled with gunpowder, the evidence of my fight with Kane would be shot from the cannon and lost at sea.
I was on my hands and knees, searching for Kane’s gun, when I heard a familiar noise behind me—the slow groan of a rung of a ladder. I turned my head and looked in the direction of the sound, but the thick darkness made it impossible for me to see. I had learned over the years to trust my instinct, and now it told me someone had seen me. I had no choice but to follow. If correct, I would have to kill another member of Blair’s crew.
Thankfully, I spotted the gun just off to my left, resting between several rows of cannon balls ready for battle. I picked up the gun, then made my way to the ladder and climbed to the lower deck, which contained the crew’s sleeping quarters. If someone had seen me, it would have been too easy for them to slip back into their room. I waited for a few moments and listened for the slightest of noises to indicate someone moving about the ship. The slow rocking of the ship and the waves crashing against its sides masked any other sounds. I slipped the gun into the waistband of my breeches and made my way back to my room, praying my night’s activities would not be visible by the light of a new day.
I could not have been asleep for more than an hour when I heard a knock at my door. Without waiting for a response from me, the door opened and in walked Gregor. His eyes diverted to my nakedness. Unlike most men, who would have turned away from the sight of another man’s prick, Gregor lingered. I knew if I did not do something soon, his stare would soon cause my prick to stir with restlessness.
“Do you mind?” I tossed a thin sheet over my body despite the stifling heat of the room.
“Modesty has no place aboard a ship.” He bent down and pulled the sheet from me, then bent and gathered my innermost linen, breeches, and blouse. “Get up. You have a busy day ahead of you.” He nodded and smiled.
As I lay the
re, covering my privates from his view, I began to wonder if his smile was one of lust or amusement over my apparent bashfulness.
I stood and faced Gregor. “May I have my clothes?” I held out my hand. As I had expected, my prick betrayed me and began to stiffen as if Gregor had the ability to fondle me with his gaze.
“These rags will do you in.” He rolled them into a tight ball and held them in his arm. I knew what he meant, but had to play ignorant.
“I’ll admit they are a bit worn, but I hardly think—”
“You’ll be working with gunpowder, Adam. These rags can build an electric charge, which could ignite the gunpowder and blow all to hell.”
“So am I to just walk out of here like this?” I pulled my hands away from my privates.
Gregor’s gaze took my body at once. “You ain’t got nothing we haven’t already seen,” Gregor said. He laughed. “Not sure what you’re used to, but around here, no man is going to pay your pretty body any attention. We’ll stop on the lower deck and find you something more appropriate to wear.” He leaned in toward me as if ready to tell me a secret. His warm, stale breath toyed with my secret desire. My prick stiffened further against my hands. “Wouldn’t want you to blow off your prick during your training, would we?” He nodded toward the door.
“No, sir.”
I went to the door, opened it, and walked down the hallway with Gregor trailing behind me. The other men were already out and about, engaged in their morning chores. Everyone stopped and stared at me as I passed. I heard a few men whispering, but couldn’t tell if they were talking about my state of undress or the fact the Captain had spared my life.
“Gregor!” Captain Blair shouted.
“Aye, Captain.”
“Have you seen Kane this morning?” He eyed me with suspicion. The combination of his look and his question came full circle to me. The men were not talking about me or my life. They were talking about Kane’s disappearance.
“No, Captain.” Gregor reached out and gripped my elbow. His finger dug into my skin. I couldn’t help but wince. “I’ve been preparing for Adam’s training this morning. I am taking Adam down to the magazine as we speak.”
“Get him started, then report back to the main deck.” He looked over his shoulder. “Jack, go to the galley and look for Kane.” He turned back around. “A man cannot simply disappear while out at sea. If this is another one of his drunken blackouts.”
“I thought he was off the bottle, sir,” Jack said, then tucked his head and left as ordered.
“You are a bit too quiet for comfort this morning, Adam.” Captain Blair said.
“I assume I should only speak when spoken to, sir.” A feeble answer, but the one which came to mind. I knew they would not find Kane, and as the newest man aboard The Libertine, I would be the sole suspect and target of the crew’s anger.
“Well?”
“Sir?”
“Don’t act stupid with me, Adam.” Captain Blair drew his blade and pressed the razor-sharp tip underneath my chin. “Something smells around here. It reeks of lies and deceit. Have you seen Kane?”
“Not since yesterday, sir, when I boarded The Libertine.”
I kept my head tilted to avoid the tip of the blade sinking into my chin. The awkward angle hurt my throat and strained my words. I wanted to look at Gregor for a sign of help, but I didn’t dare take my eyes off Blair. One thing I learned early on was to always look a man square in the face when in conversation. Diverting eyes were a sign of weakness, lies, or betrayal—sometimes all three.
“Why do I think you’re lying to me?” He stared at me as if expecting to see the truth in my face. Then he looked at Gregor. “I need a moment with Adam.” He pulled me away from Gregor’s grip, leaned into me, and whispered, “If I learn you’ve been lying to me, boy, I will fuck you to an inch of your life. Do we understand each other?”
“Aye, sir.”
He stepped back and asked, “Did you leave your room at any time last night?”
“No, sir.”
“Do we trust him, Gregor?”
“No, sir, but I can attest for his whereabouts last night.” Gregor came and stood next to me.
“Go on.”
Captain Blair and I both looked at Gregor. I tried to hide the shock of his lie in my expression, but knew it was far from convincing. What was Gregor up to? And why was he willing to vouch for my whereabouts?
“Last night I decided that leaving Adam unattended might be a bad idea, sir. I stayed outside his room. He never left.”
“Aye, all right then.” Captain Blair looked at me, not Gregor. “Get him trained. We haven’t a lot of time.”
Gregor took my arm and led me across the main deck toward the ladder and the lower levels of the ship. I wanted to ask him why he lied to protect me but realized if I asked him, he would know I knew he had lied to the Captain about his whereabouts. Gregor had played his hand well. There was no way I could get the answers I needed without incriminating myself.
* * * *
During my first day of training, I pretended to know nothing about the weaponry, cleaning, or making of cartridges, and allowed Gregor to train me with their rough and archaic skills. During the first few attempts, I made sure I failed in some small degree, whether the mistake was tearing a hole in the canvas to render the bag useless, or adding too little or too much gunpowder to the cartridges. I found the act of hiding my true skills a difficult one, but with each failure, I allowed myself to succeed in small increments. I soon gave up the appearance of a lack of skill and allowed Gregor to see my true talents, letting him believe the knowledge had come from him.
The nights were far worse. Each night, Captain Blair would return to my room to satisfy his needs. I thought about resisting but knew I could not without endangering my mission, which I continued to fulfill every night once Captain Blair left my room. My life had become a game of back and forth. I spent the days building their arsenal and my nights sabotaging what I had completed during the day. Captain Blair’s handling of me became more heartless and cruel. I knew I only had a few days left, so I reconciled myself to allowing his use of my body, in hopes, someday, once this assignment was over, someone would allow me the privilege of their body. I received my wish just hours before the Dutch Army attacked The Libertine. The night brought me one step closer to the place from which I would never return.
A storm blew in off the Caribbean Sea. I had retired to my cabin in hopes of easing my sickness from the ship’s rolling and turning. I had closed my eyes for a moment to rest when I heard footsteps approaching. My heart sank, believing it to be Captain Blair on his evening visit, but it was earlier than usual. I readied myself for his use as the door opened. Gregor walked in and closed the door without making a sound. He turned to look at me. The top lace of his blouse was untied, and even in the dim light, I saw a mass of bright orange chest hair. He smiled but didn’t say a word as he came and stood next to my cot.
I raised myself on my elbows but did not bother with sitting upright. Gregor came and sat next to me. A closeness I didn’t know from the Captain or most of the men, who I let use my body for their pleasure. I looked at Gregor when he rested his hand on my leg. His touch was what one would call tender. I didn’t know what to say or how to react. The man left me speechless and unable to move.
“Ah, don’t act surprised, Adam,” he whispered. “You and I are a lot alike.”
“I don’t know…”
“Don’t play the fool with me,” he interrupted. “I’ve known from the first moment your hunger for other men. I saw the desire in those devilish blue eyes when you first looked at me as you came aboard.” He moved his hand farther up my leg and squeezed my thigh. “I know the Captain visits your quarters. And I know how hateful Blair can be. Remember, I warned you about him.”
“Yes, but…I would have fared better without warning.”
“Do you get pleasure from him?”
“No, I do not. But my desire continues to gnaw a
t me…and I have no other choice.”
“You are showing a young and foolish side of yourself, Adam. You are a man in every sense of the word, and every man has his choices. He must learn to make them—and to live with the consequences they bring. Do you desire more than what our Captain offers?”
I didn’t know how to give an answer. I feared another trick of the pirate’s sly and devilish ways. I began to weaken in my resolve to trust no one when I felt Gregor’s gaze devouring my body.
“You see, I, too, desire the company of other men. I am not like the Captain, who abuses men for his lust.” He leaned toward me. “The Captain murdered Rory, am I correct?”
“Yes, but how did you know?”
“Rory was the Captain’s whore before you came along. I’m afraid you will end as Rory did once the Captain tires of you. I could have saved Rory by telling him about the Captain, but I knew his loyalty to the Captain ran too deep. I also know about Kane.” He hesitated as if inspecting my expression.
“What do you mean?”
“Again, always playing the fool. Ignorance doesn’t suit you, Adam. I know you killed him and threw him overboard three nights ago.”
“Then I did hear someone.” I confessed to the murder before I could stop myself. “It was self-defense.” I paused, and when I didn’t get a response from Gregor, I continued. “Why are you doing this?”
“What is it you think I’m doing, Adam?” His finger caressed my cheek and followed the outline of my jaw. My body quivered with feelings I did not recognize but enjoyed all the same.
“Protecting me.” I looked into his eyes and brought myself closer to him. I curled my finger around the tied lace of his blouse and pulled on it. My fingers swept through a thick mat of chest hair. “Why?”
“Isn’t it obvious?”
The Libertine Page 3