The younger prince stiffened. His golden eyes snapped back to me. His face grew cold and uncaring. I recognized shock and pain in his eyes. My abruptness hurt him deeply. It was as if I’d torn off a bandage carefully placed to cover the wounds of the past.
I put my hand over his and gently asked, “Kishan, don’t you want a future for yourself or a family? I know what it feels like when someone you love dies. It’s lonely. You feel broken, like you can never be whole again. You feel like they took a piece of you with them when they left.
“But you are not alone. There are people you can care for and who will care for you. People who will give you lots of reasons to go on living. Mr. Kadam, your brother, and me. There could even be someone else to love. Please come with us to Hampi.”
Kishan looked away and continued softly, “I gave up wishing for things that will never be a long, long time ago.”
I gripped his hand harder. “Kishan, please reconsider.”
He squeezed my hand back and smiled. “I’m sorry, Kelsey.” He stood up and stretched. “Now, if you and Ren insist on going on this long journey, he will have to hunt.”
“Hunt?” I cringed. Ren hadn’t been eating much from what I’d seen.
“He might have been eating enough for a human, but definitely not enough for a tiger. He’s a tiger most of the time, and for him to be strong enough to protect you on this journey, he’ll have to eat more. Something big, like a nice boar or a water buffalo.”
I gulped. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. He’s very thin for a tiger. He needs to bulk up. Get some protein.”
I stroked Ren’s back. I could feel his ribs.
“Okay, I’ll make sure he hunts before we leave.”
“Good.” He bowed his head and grinned at me. He grasped my fingers in farewell and seemed reluctant to let them go. Finally, he said, “Thank you, Kelsey, for the very interesting chat.”
With that, he changed back into the black tiger and loped off into the jungle.
Ren was still asleep with his head on my lap, so I sat quietly for a bit longer. I traced the stripes on his back and looked at his scratches. Where gaping rips had been only an hour ago, the skin had almost completely healed. The long scratch across his face and eye was gone. Not even a scar remained.
When my legs were completely numb from having Ren’s weight on them, I shifted out from under his head and built up the fire again. He just rolled over on his side and continued sleeping.
That fight must have taken a lot out of him. Kishan is right. He does need to hunt. He’s got to keep up his strength.
Ren slept as I puttered around the area restocking the woodpile and eating dinner.
Ready to sleep myself, I grabbed my quilt, wrapped it around my body, and lay down near him. His chest rumbled, but he never awoke; he just rolled closer to me. Using his back as a pillow, I fell asleep looking at the stars.
I woke up in the late morning with my quilt twisted all around me. I looked around for Ren, but I didn’t see him anywhere. The fire was ablaze, though, as if he’d just thrown logs onto it. I rolled onto my stomach to try to wiggle out of the quilt, only to gasp in pain as a tremor rippled across my back.
Reaching around and trying to rub my sore muscles, I groaned, “Too many nights sleeping on the hard ground and you wind up an old lady before your time.” I gave up and lay back down.
I heard a soft footfall, and Ren stuck his nose into my face.
“Oh, don’t mind me. I’m just going to lay here until my spine pops back into alignment.”
He turned and began kneading my back with his tiger paws. I laughed painfully as I tried to suck air back into my lungs. He was like an extremely heavy kitten sharpening his claws on a human couch.
I squeaked out, “Thanks anyway, Ren, but you’re too heavy. You’re knocking the wind out of me.”
His heavy tiger paws lifted off my back and were replaced by warm, strong hands. Ren began massaging my lower back, and my thoughts drifted back to the embarrassing kissing altercation. My face turned hot, and my body tensed, causing my back to spasm even more.
“Relax, Kelsey. Your back is full of knots. Let me work on it.”
I tried to not think about Ren, and instead remembered my one and only massage from a middle-aged masseuse. It was actually painful, and I never went back for another one. The lady pushed too hard and dug her knuckles into my shoulder blades. I didn’t want to say anything, so I just suffered through it. Each minute was torture. With every rub, I repeated the mantra “I hope it’s over. I hope it’s over.”
Ren’s massage was completely different. He was gentle and applied medium pressure with his palms. Rubbing in a circular pattern down my spine, he found the tight spots and worked the muscles until they were warm and loose. When he was finished with my back, he trailed his fingers up my spine, to the collar of my shirt, and began to massage my shoulders and neck, which shot little tingles all through my body.
Nimble fingers began at my hairline and pressed in little circles, working my neck. Then Ren increased the pressure using smooth strokes from my neck to my shoulders. Wrapping his fingers over the arch of my neck, he kneaded, squeezed, and compressed the muscles, easing away the aches and pains leisurely and methodically. Eventually, the pressure lightened until it was almost a caress. I sighed deeply, enjoying it immensely.
When he stopped, I carefully tested my back by sitting up. He got up and reached under my elbow to steady me as I stood up.
“Do you feel better, Kelsey?”
I smiled up at him. “Yes. Thank you so much.”
I twined my arms around his neck and hugged him affectionately. His body seemed stiff. He didn’t hug me back. I pulled away and saw that his lips were tight, and he wouldn’t make eye contact.
“Ren?”
He pulled my arms from around his neck, held my hands in front of him, and finally looked at me. “I’m glad you feel better.”
He moved away from me to the other side of the fire and changed into a tiger.
Not good, I thought. What just happened? He’s never acted cold to me before. He must still be mad at me about the kissing thing. Or maybe he’s still upset about Kishan. I don’t know how to fix this. I’m not good at talking about relationship stuff. What can I say to make it right?
Instead of talking about us or our relationship or the non-kiss, which was obviously hanging in the air between us, I decided to change the subject. I cleared my throat.
“Uh, Ren? You need to go off on a hunt before we leave. Your brother said you needed to eat, and I think you should really consider it.”
He just huffed and rolled on his side.
“I’m serious. I promised him you would, and . . . I’m not leaving the jungle with you until you go out to hunt. Kishan said that you’re too thin for a tiger and that you need to eat a boar or something. You like hunting anyway, remember?”
Ren walked over to a tree and began rubbing his back against it.
I offered, “Do you have an itch on your back? I can scratch it for you. It’s the least I could do after the massage you gave me.”
The white tiger stopped twitching for a moment and looked at me, and then he dropped to the dirt and rolled over on his back, wrenching his body back and forth while his legs pawed the air.
Hurt that he would brush me off that way, I shouted, “You’d rather rub your back in the dirt than to have me scratch it for you? Fine! Do it yourself then, but I’m still not leaving until you hunt!” I spun around and grabbed the backpack, crawled into the tent, and zipped it up.
Half an hour later, I peeked out. Ren was gone. I sighed and began collecting firewood again to bulk up our supply.
I was dragging a heavy log over to the fire pit when I heard a voice coming from the forest. Kishan was leaning against a tree watching me. He whistled.
“Who knew such a small girl would have such big muscles?”
I ignored him and finished dragging the log, then dusted off my hands and s
at down with a bottle of water.
Kishan sat down beside me, a little too close, and angled his legs in front of him. I offered him a bottle of water, and he took it.
“I don’t know what you said, Kelsey, but whatever it was, worked. Ren is out hunting.”
I grimaced. “Did he say anything to you?”
“Just that I was supposed to watch you while he was gone. A hunt can take several days.”
“Really? I had no idea it would take that long.” I hesitated, “So . . . he doesn’t mind you staying here while he’s gone?”
“Oh, he minds,” he chuckled, “but he wants to make sure you’re safe. At least he trusts me that much.”
“Well, I think he’s mad at both of us right now.”
Kishan looked at me curiously with a raised eyebrow. “How so?”
“Um . . . let’s just say we had a misunderstanding.”
Kishan’s face turned hard. “Don’t worry, Kelsey. I’m sure that whatever he’s upset about is foolish. He’s very argumentative.”
I sighed and shook my head sadly. “No, it’s really all my fault. I’m difficult, a hindrance, and I’m a pain to have around sometimes. He’s probably used to being around sophisticated, more experienced women who are much more . . . more . . . well, more than I am.”
Kishan quirked an eyebrow. “Ren hasn’t been around any women as far as I know. I must confess that I’m now exceedingly curious as to what your argument was about. Whether you tell me or not, I won’t tolerate any more derogatory comments about yourself. He’s lucky to have you, and he’d better realize it.”
He grinned. “Of course, if you did have a falling-out, you’re always welcome to stay with me.”
“Thanks for the offer, but I don’t really want to live in the jungle.”
He laughed. “For you, I would even consider a change of residence. You, my lovely, are a prize worth fighting for.”
I laughed and punched him lightly on the arm. “You, sir, are a major flirt. Worth fighting for? I think you two have been tigers for too long. I’m no great beauty, especially when I’m stuck out here in the jungle. I haven’t even picked a college major yet. What have I ever done that would make someone want to fight over me?”
Kishan apparently took my rhetorical questions seriously. He reflected for a moment, and then answered, “For one thing, I’ve never met a woman so dedicated to helping others. You put your own life at risk for a person you met only a few weeks ago. You are confident, feisty, intelligent, and full of empathy. I find you charming and, yes, beautiful.”
The golden-eyed prince fingered a strand of my hair. I blushed at his assessment, sipped my water, and then said softly, “I don’t like him being angry with me.”
Kishan shrugged and dropped his hand, looking slightly annoyed that I’d steered the conversation back to Ren. “Yes. I’ve been on the receiving side of his anger, and I’ve learned not to underestimate his ability to hold a grudge.”
“Kishan, can I ask you something . . . personal?”
He chuckled and rubbed his jaw. “I am at your service.”
“It’s about Ren’s fiancée.”
His countenance darkened, and he murmured tightly, “What do you want to know?”
I faltered for a moment. “Was she beautiful?”
“Yes. She was.”
“Will you tell me a little about her?”
His face relaxed a little, and he stared off into the jungle. He ran a hand through his hair and mused, “Yesubai was bewitching. She was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen.”
He spoke quietly, “The last day I saw her, she wore a sparkling gold sharara with a tinkling jeweled belt, and her hair was coiled and twisted up with a golden chain. She dressed elegantly, arrayed as a bride in all her finery, that day. That last image of her is something I will never forget.
“What did she look like?”
“She had a lovely, oval face, full pink lips, dark lashes and eyebrows, and the most amazing violet eyes. She was petite, only coming up to my shoulder. When her hair was down, she often covered it with a scarf, but it was smooth, silky, and black as a raven’s wing. Her hair was so long it cascaded down her back to her knees.”
I closed my eyes and pictured this perfect woman with Ren. The idea of it pierced me with an emotion I didn’t know I could feel. It punctured my heart, ripped a gaping hole right through the center.
Kishan continued, “The minute I saw her, I knew that I wanted her. I would have no other but her.”
I asked, “How did you two meet?”
“Ren and I were not allowed to engage in battle at the same time for fear that both of us would be killed, and then there would be no heir to the throne. So, while Ren was off in combat, I was stuck at home training with Kadam, learning about military strategy and working with the soldiers.
“One day, as I was returning home from weapons practice, I decided to take a detour through the gardens. There was Yesubai, standing near a fountain where she had just plucked a lotus blossom from. Her scarf hung down around her shoulders. I asked her who she was, and she quickly turned around, covered her glorious hair and face, and looked at the ground.”
I asked, “Is that when you realized who she was?”
“No. She curtsied, told me her name, and then ran off to the palace. I assumed that she was a visiting dignitary’s daughter. When I returned to the palace, I immediately began asking about her and quickly found out that arrangements had been made for her to marry my brother! I was insanely jealous. I was his second in everything. Ren was given all the things I wanted in life. He was the favorite son, the better politician, the future king, and now the man who would marry the girl I wanted.”
He spat out, “He’d never even met her. I didn’t even know that my parents were seeking a bride for Ren! He was only twenty-one, and I was twenty. I asked my father if he could alter the arrangement so that I could be Yesubai’s betrothed instead. I reasoned that another princess could be found for Ren. I even offered to seek a bride for him myself.”
“What did your father say?”
“He was totally focused on the war at that time. I told him that Ren wouldn’t care either way, but father wouldn’t even listen to my pleas. He insisted that the arrangements with Yesubai’s father were irrevocable. He said that her father had insisted that she marry the heir to the throne so that she could become the next queen.”
He stretched out his arms along the log we were resting against and continued, “She left a few days later and was taken by caravan to meet Ren, to sign documents, and go through the ceremony of betrothal. She stayed there with him for just a few hours, but the trip took a week. It was the longest week of my life. Then she returned to the palace to wait. For him.”
His golden eyes pierced mine. “Three months she stayed in our palace waiting, and I tried to avoid her as best I could, but Yesubai was lonely and wanted company. She wanted someone to walk the grounds with her, and I reluctantly agreed, thinking I could keep my feelings in check.
“I told myself that she would be my sister soon and that it was okay to like her, but the more I got to know her, the more deeply I fell for her and the more resentful I became. One evening, as we were wandering the gardens, she admitted to me that she wished that I was her betrothed.
“I was exultant! Immediately, I tried to embrace her, but she put me off. She was very strict about following protocol. On our walks, she even had a chaperone follow us at a discreet distance. She implored me to wait, promising that we would figure out a way to be together. I was insanely happy and determined that I would do everything, anything, necessary to make her mine.”
I reached over to hold his hand. He squeezed mine and then went on.
“She said that she had tried to put her feelings for me aside for the good of the family, for the good of the kingdom, but that she couldn’t help but to love me. Me—not Ren. For the first time in my life, I was chosen above him. Yesubai and I were both very young and in love. When t
he date approached for Ren’s return, she became desperate and insisted that I speak with her father. This was entirely improper, of course, but I was lovesick and agreed, determined to do anything to make her happy.”
“What did her father say?”
“Her father agreed to give me her hand in marriage if I conceded to certain conditions.”
I interjected, “That’s when you arranged to have Ren captured, right?”
He winced. “Yes. In my mind, Ren was a hurdle I had to jump over in order to have Yesubai. I endangered him so that I could have her. In my defense, I was told that the soldiers were going to escort him to her father’s palace and that we would make different arrangements regarding the betrothal. Obviously, things didn’t go as planned.”
I entreated, “What happened to Yesubai?”
He said softly, “An accident. She was struck and she fell, breaking her neck. I held her as she died.”
I squeezed his hand. “I’m so sorry, Kishan.” Though I wasn’t sure I wanted to know, I decided to inquire anyway. “Kishan, I once asked Mr. Kadam if Ren loved Yesubai. He never really gave me a straight answer.”
Kishan laughed bitterly. “Ren loved the idea of her. Yesubai was beautiful, desirable, and would make a wonderful companion and queen, but he didn’t really know her. In letters, he insisted on calling her Bai and wanted her to call him Ren. She hated that. She felt that only lower castes of people used nicknames. In all honesty, they didn’t really even know each other.”
At first, I felt relieved, but then I remembered Kishan’s description of Yesubai. Not knowing a girl well didn’t mean she wasn’t desired or sought after. Ren could easily still be harboring feelings for his lost fiancée.
A slight tremor shot through Kishan’s arm, and I knew his time as a man was up.
“Thanks for staying with me, Kishan. I have so many more questions. I wish you could talk with me longer.”
“I’ll stay here with you until Ren returns. Perhaps we can converse again tomorrow.”
“I would like that.”
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