by Ella Brooke
It struck her that no matter how angry she was with Tucker, or how angry he was at her, that electricity, that desire would never go away.
Then Tucker sighed, and the look on his face was unexpectedly soft and sweet. He reached up to palm the side of her face, and the smile was rueful.
"Clever girl, you're definitely right," he said shaking his head. "First rule of business, when you see a snag, you fix it right away. You don't let it grow up into something that you cannot deal with later. I am going to take a shower, you should do the same, and then how about breakfast together? There's a place a friend was telling me about a short while ago, I think you'll like it."
It struck Luna as she showered in her own suite how normal this was. There was no pain, no recrimination. There was only a problem and two people who wanted to solve it together. It felt strange, but there was something right about it as well.
She finished up with her shower and twisted her hair up into a gleaming bun, dark red stragglers coming out as they always did to frame her face. Luna paused in front of her closet. This had been less difficult when she had nothing but jeans and hoodies in there. At last, she chose a sleeveless black dress that was severe but had a sweetheart neckline that she thought gave her a kind of vintage look.
When she met Tucker at the door, Luna had the pleasure of seeing his eyes widen a little at her outfit. For just a moment, it looked as if he could eat her alive, and Luna didn't think that she would have been all that averse to the idea if he did. Then Tucker was a complete gentleman and opened the door for her. He had decided to drive that day instead of calling for their chauffeur, and he took her to an elegant building in the heart of busy Florence. The round glass elevator took them up to an exclusive row of shops and restaurants at the top of the building, and they were shown to a table on the balcony that looked out over the city. With a warm playful breeze sweeping over her skin and the mid-morning sun warming her up, Luna sighed with pleasure.
"This is beautiful," she murmured, and Tucker grinned at her.
"This floor, this whole building, as a matter of fact, was once the home of Veronica Zenatti, famed courtesan of the seventeenth century," he said with a smile. "They said she broke hearts here until she was thirty, and then she took all that money and ran to Amsterdam to set up a profitable fleet of ships all on her own."
"Sounds like an amazing woman," Luna said, imagining what it would have been like to trade on her beauty and then to leave it all behind. It struck her as lonely, but surely Veronica Zenatti had had a plan, a reason.
"Well, she was if you weren't the one left with a broken heart, I suppose," said Tucker. He looked supremely amused, and it was difficult, Luna admitted, to ever think that he might be the one with a broken heart.
She might have responded to that, but then the waiter was coming for their order. She had not had time to look at the menu yet, but Tucker ordered for them both confidently in Italian.
"You know, I didn't think that I would like that at all," she said thoughtfully. "You ordering for me, I mean."
"And now?"
"Well, we'll see when the food gets here, I imagine," she said, daring to tease just a little, and she was rewarded with a blinding smile.
The food was as good as she had hoped it would be. It was a delicate arrangement of roast vegetables with cool fruit to one side, and a few slices of ham and a perfect poached egg in the center. The waiter also set down a basket of fragrant bread, and when Tucker saw her blissful smile, he laughed.
"A bit heavy for every morning, but no one really goes wrong with a breakfast like this. Plus, the view can't be beat."
Luna knew that they had things to discuss, but for right now, the food was too good. It wasn't just the ham, no matter how good it was, though. It just felt so good to relax with Tucker again, to smile at him, and to laugh and to tease. It was as if they were back in those first days again, and she felt as if someone had turned on a light deep inside her. She was finally beginning to feel warm again, and she loved it.
Finally, however, Tucker wiped his mouth and set the napkin aside, a serious expression on his face.
"First," he said, "I'm sorry. I think I know what was going on last night, and I am sorry that I lashed out the way that I did. It was not my intention to hurt you, and I think you were hurt."
Luna blushed, because the idea of him seeing how hurt she had been left her feeling vulnerable and oddly sad.
"I realize that I have not been altogether fair to you," he continued. "You are not some woman that I met at a gala and decided to keep for the length of my stay in the area."
"Is that... a thing that you do often?" Luna asked, vaguely fascinated even as the bottom dropped out of her stomach. "I mean, pick up women and just... keep them for a while?"
Tucker shrugged, and all over again, she had to realize that she was a stranger to his world.
"I don't really do it as deliberately as all that, but I've done that several times, yes. It is all very willing and it works out quite well. We enjoy the pleasure of each other's company for a short while, and then when I am done in the area, we go our separate ways. It works well."
Luna wasn't so sure. She had already had some experience with how it felt when she and Tucker had enjoyed each other's company and then gone their separate ways. It felt a lot like a punch to the stomach, but Tucker was continuing.
"But the fact remains that however well that has worked out for me in the past, this is not the relationship that I am pursuing with you," he said. "We have something different, and I am slowly realizing that it is something... different and good."
"Don't sound so surprised," she muttered, but he ignored her, continuing.
"You are going to be the mother of my child," he said, and when he met her eyes, there was something intensely fierce in his gaze. "You are going to give birth to a child that is mine, and you deserve better than that."
"So what does that mean?" she asked, lifting her chin. He was the one that had started this conversation, he could be the one to come up with the conclusion.
"It means that I have behaved badly," Tucker said, taking her hand. "I finally realized that if I hadn't been acting so badly, we never would have had the fight we had. You never would have been hurt."
She found somehow that his apology made her heart hurt. Luna blinked rapidly a few times, wishing that she wasn't tearing up. God, she had never been like this before. What was it about this man that made her emotions feel as if they were being churned?
"We are going to be different moving ahead," he said. "I want to be with you. I want us to enjoy each other, truly. Then, perhaps... well, perhaps after the child is born, you won't want to disappear with that million dollars."
Luna could feel her heart start to slam into her ribs. She could barely believe her ears. Was he stating that perhaps... perhaps they would want to stay together on a more permanent basis? Was Tucker Keene hinting at a marriage?
"Something structured, perhaps," he continued. "If we still suit, you could own your own apartment in a city of your choice, an allowance, something like that."
She felt something in her go cold.
"You mean, like a mistress," she said. "Like Veronica Zenatti."
His smile was sweet and easy, and she wondered if she had imagined all of the times she thought she had glimpsed something sweeter and more vulnerable there.
"Something like that. And if you ever decide to run off and start a shipping business in the Netherlands, I promise I won't rant or scream as much as her lovers did."
Remember this, her mind whispered. This is what he wants from you. A mistress, not a wife, not a girlfriend. Someone he pays off, who is available to him, and who doesn't live in his life with him.
Tucker seemed to sense her reticence because he shrugged.
"But that's for the future. In the here and now, what I want is to simply... be with you. I still need to work, but I want to see you more, be a part of things. What we were doing before, it doesn't see
m to work all that well."
"No, it wasn't," she said, slightly wistfully. She thought of how empty the days had been, even with her work, even with the city of Florence in her grasp. It had meant nothing at all without someone to share it with.
"So are we agreed?" he asked.
Luna looked at Tucker, who in the mid-morning light looked as handsome as Lucifer himself. Even now, it was hard not to reach out to touch him.
"All right," she said. "No promises on what might come after... after the baby comes. But right now, let's be together."
She was rewarded with a smile of such triumph that she blinked, but then it was gone, and he smiled warmly at her.
"Good," he said, and then, almost shyly, "I missed you."
Then he was talking about other things, about a famous horse race in a nearby city that he wanted to take her to, how there was an airfield nearby where they could try small craft flying, and for the moment, she allowed herself to be carried away.
Chapter Fifteen
The problem, Luna decided almost six weeks later, was that it was so easy to be carried away by Tucker. Tucker was a man who lived an exciting life, and before he had met her, he lived it at breakneck speed. She had gasped when he told her about his chute failing to deploy and how it had led to his need to leave something behind, but he had laughed at her alarm.
"I think it might be one of the best things to have ever happened to me," Tucker said. "It made me stop and really think about what I wanted."
He was a worldly billionaire, but somehow, he had missed out on some of the most simply joys that she took for granted.
"You really don't always have to be on the go," she said with amusement, and he raised an eyebrow at her.
"If I'm not on the go all the time, what's the point?" Tucker had asked, and when Luna ascertained that he was serious, she had taken him to the nearby market. Tucker, though bemused, was quiet as she led him through the aisles.
The little Florentine markets were different from the supermarkets that were so prevalent in the United States. She understood that there were definitely some supermarkets scattered here and there, but a great deal of Florence still got on well with the small shops scattered throughout the city. They reminded Luna of the bodegas where she could stop by and pick up the materials for a meal while also scratching the local cat in residence for a moment of much-needed stress relief.
Tucker looked dubious, but after she had made their purchases, she led him on a wander that finally ended up on a small plaza. There were a few benches scattered about, but besides them and the pigeons that seemed to be everywhere, the only inhabitant of the square was the statue of a young girl holding flowers up to the sky.
Tucker watched as she made them thick sandwiches with good Italian mustard, some kind of salty cheese and ham, chasing it all down with glass bottles of delicious lemonade.
"I'll admit, I did not expect it to taste this good," he said, and Luna smiled triumphantly.
"Sometimes, it's best to just keep it simple," she said.
He took the apple slices she had cut with her pocket knife without a word, and then he looked surprised when she slid one past his lips. For all that they had spent weeks exploring each other's bodies, there was something shockingly intimate about this gesture. The apple felt cool under her fingers, the warmth of his lips, and the wetness of his tongue as it flickered out to lap at her fingertips, it all made her feel ridiculously happy.
Whether they were enjoying lunch in a secret plaza or going up into the mountains for a famous horse race that was nearly two hundred years old, however, Luna had the nagging feeling in the back of her head that this couldn't last. After she gave him the child that he wanted so badly, she had come to realize that she couldn't possibly stay. She wouldn't be his mistress, a small part of his life while he led it somewhere else.
It wasn't just that, either. Her appointments with Dr. Schmitt continued, and they made everything more real. She wasn't sure that she could create a baby with Tucker and then have nothing to do with that baby at all. Luna had thought that she could, and she was beginning to suspect that that was not the case at all.
Some nights, she was on the verge of breaking everything off and running away. Others, she simply willed the earth to stand still so that she and Tucker could live in this short span of time forever.
Short?
She realized that no matter how much time she had with Tucker, it would always feel short, whether it was another five weeks or another year. When she looked at him, there was something in her that felt a fierce joy for having found him, for being able to touch him and laugh with him.
As the weeks rolled on, Luna felt as if she was slowly being pulled apart. It was such a slow and gradual thing, it was as if she didn't notice it until she was nearly in pieces. She knew that she couldn't stay, but her entire body felt as if it couldn't go, either.
Some nights, when Tucker slept by her side, she couldn't rest. Luna would get up and pace through the hallways, unable to even finish the ring that she had drafted for him. She was close. She was very close, but still the ring sat on her work bench, dull due to lack of polish or care. She knew that it was perhaps the finest piece she had ever done, but she didn't have the heart to finish it. It was as if she couldn't finish it, not when she felt like this.
Like some evil fairy had granted her wish, the time stretched in front of her with no change in sight. Luna didn't know how long she could live with it, but then came a day where she realized that everything was going to change...
***
"I wish things hadn't worked out like this," Tucker said, making a face. "If I had had my way, we would have had the conference here, and I wouldn't have to spend four days in Paris."
"Oh poor man," Luna teased. "So difficult when the world doesn't bend to your will exactly as it ought to."
Tucker frowned at her, but it smoothed out as she reached out to straighten his tie for him.
"And you wouldn't have had to get up at godawful in the morning to see me off. Which I do appreciate, but again, I wasn't going to ask you to."
Luna chuckled.
"Well, it's not too terrible. This way I get to see the sun rise, and I get to get a jump on work. I have a project that if I work hard, I might get done by the time you get back."
"Ah, the super-secret project," Tucker said, smiling fondly. "The one that I have been forbidden to see."
"Yes, precisely that one," she said with a grin. "Who knows, by the time you make it back, maybe there will be something to report."
His response was to sweep her into a deep kiss that made her sigh, but nearly as quickly, he had to let her go.
"I do need to go," Tucker said with real reluctance. "Just... know that I want to get back more than anything, all right?"
"All right, I do," she said, and for a moment, it seemed as if he was studying her, his eyes unaccountably dark.
"Good," he said, and then he was gone.
Luna was alone in the apartment with the morning light just beginning to break through the indigo of night, but it felt different somehow. The weeks that he had spent ignoring her except during the evening were a memory, and the flat felt a little more like a cocoon, a wonderful place of love and care where they were both safe.
True to her word, Luna went to work in the studio for a few hours. The ring was finally nearing completion, and more than once, she had to stop and look at it with pleasure. It was companion to the bracelet that she had made him what felt like a thousand years ago, but far richer, far more beautiful. The central stone, tawny and beautifully smooth, winked from the setting that she had custom designed, and she was so pleased with her work. It would look ridiculously handsome on Tucker's hand, and she could imagine his smile when he tried it on.
Luna's smile faltered a little bit. Was she just giving him something as a goodbye gift? The thought had been in the back of her mind for a while now. The ring felt small but heavy in her hands. She had started designing this ring a
nd making it on impulse, but the truth was that she had never considered what it might signify. Would she give it to him only to have to say goodbye shortly thereafter? Would it always be a reminder to him of her, or would he throw it into some trinket box, never to look at it again?
Luna told herself that she was being ridiculous. She had made jewelry for people before and never worried overmuch about what it was that they might have done with it. The most important part was the emotion that she put into it, the passion she had for the project. She tried telling herself that this one was no different, but deep in her heart, she knew that that was not true.
It was this conflict more than anything else that had slowed her work on this ring. In some ways, it had benefited it in the end, forcing her to take her time and to be absolutely sure of the design. Now Luna set it aside again, sighing with frustration as much at herself as anything else.
Well, I can go get some breakfast, at least.
She got properly dressed and shod, and picked up a shopping bag that she had bought some weeks ago. The café was an option, but she thought that it might be nice to bring home some food to cook when she was on her own tonight. She had lived and functioned alone before she met Tucker, and that was a skill set that she refused to leave.
The moment she stepped outside of the apartment, however, it occurred to her that something was wrong. The sun, even as low in the sky as it was, seemed far too bright. Everything was far too vivid and far too loud, and she broke into a sweat. Luna shook her head and forced herself to start walking.
God, am I really that disoriented because Tucker is gone? I must be getting soft.
She walked the two blocks to the market, which felt a little better, but then she was swept up in the early morning crowd. She dodged through the other shoppers, looking for the food that she had come for, but her brain felt ridiculously foggy. She couldn't hang on to her thoughts; every time she tried, they squirmed out of her grasp like little fish, and finally, she ended up on a small bench, huddled in on herself. She realized that she was sweating hard, and she was shivering as well.