by Amy Cross
"So we were thinking," Evan says eventually, "maybe when your braces are done, we could all take a little family holiday somewhere nice? Just a small road trip. How do you fancy California for a week?"
I look over at him. I have no particular interest in California, and I know a 'road trip' wouldn't solve anything, but I want to make him happy so I smile and nod.
"See?" he says to Ruth. "We can all go as a family".
"I might have to stay behind for work," she says, smiling falsely at me. "We'll see. But you two should definitely go".
"Well, yeah," Evan replies, clearly a little disappointed. I get the feeling that they've been talking about this between themselves for a while now.
"Don't forget Dedston," Ruth says to him suddenly.
"No," Evan replies, looking down at his food.
Dedston? Is that a place? I wait for one of them to say something, but it seems as if Ruth's comment has killed the conversation completely.
Finishing my food, I set my knife and fork down and sit in silence. Evan and Ruth start talking about their days, discussing their 'normal' lives. It's almost as if I'm not here. I feel sorry for them. They spent so many years trying to have their own child before they had to accept that Ruth was incapable of getting pregnant. Then they went to a foster agency and they were allowed to take me in, and look what I've grown up to become. I can see the sadness in their eyes, especially Ruth's. Lately, she's started to drink a few glasses of wine each night, to 'settle' her nerves. She's started the long slide into alcoholism, and there's nothing I can do to stop her.
"You can be excused," Evan says to me, "if you wish".
I stand up, my chair scraping loudly against the floor. After carrying my plate to the kitchen and putting it into the dishwasher, I go through to my bedroom. I keep the lights off and walk over to the window. Outside, the ghosts are gathering for their nightly vigil. To be honest, if I knew what they wanted, I'd just give it to them. I don't have the energy to fight. I'd happily disappear forever, except I know that it'd hurt Evan and Ruth too much. No matter how bad things are, they cling to the hope that in some way they'll eventually get it right. They hope that one day they'll wake up and I'll suddenly be the perfect girl they always hoped I'd be. I'd willingly sacrifice myself in order to give them what they want.
Sitting on my bed, I open my mouth and stick a finger inside to feel my teeth. It was about a year ago that I first noticed something was wrong. Two of the upper teeth near the front of my mouth seemed to be being pushed aside. When they fell out, I felt new, sharper teeth coming through from my gums. It was painful and sore at first, and eventually Evan and Ruth noticed that I was reluctant to eat. They took one look at the teeth and marched me straight to the dentists' office, where I was told that I needed braces. The dentist said he'd never seen anything quite like this before, and I felt as if he just attached the braces because he felt he had to do something. I didn't really mind, though, since the braces are so bulky that they prevent me from talking. At least I don't have to worry about thinking of something to say when I'm around people. Frankly, I'd happily keep them for the rest of my life.
Looking up, I hear a scratching sound at the window. The ghosts have never done that before, but perhaps tonight is the night when they'll finally make their move. Feeling my heart-rate rising, I imagine their fingers picking away at the frame. Are they going to come inside? I stay where I am, too nervous to go and take a look, but as I stare at the window, I slowly become aware of a presence in the room. I'm reluctant to turn and look at first, because I have a horrible feeling that there's something in the room with me. Finally, I force myself to turn my head slowly to the left.
Nothing.
I relax a little. I guess my mind is playing tricks on me. Not surprising, really, considering I feel as if I'm being stalked by a bunch of ghosts.
I spend the rest of the evening alone in my room, reading. We don't have the internet at home, and watching a DVD would mean going through to the lounge since I don't have a laptop or a computer in my room. Reading and drawing are pretty much the only things I can do to pass the time, but at least I'm managing to power through the classics. The truth is, whenever I start reading, I find my mind starting to wander; I start coming up with my own stories, and I usually end up staring into space while I imagine various weird creatures. Tonight, I get so lost in my own thoughts that suddenly I glance over at the clock and see that it's almost midnight. Putting the book down, I go to the bathroom and get ready for bed, gathering together a bowl of hot water and some cotton buds so I can clean Donna's spit out of my ear later. Heading through to the lounge, I say goodnight to Evan and Ruth before coming back to my room. I make one final check of the window, to be sure it's properly locked, and then I get into bed. Another day is over, but tomorrow looks set to be just like today.
I sit and wait for the clock to tick over to midnight. When it finally happens, I use the cotton buds to clean my ear. I've had to live with Donna's spit in there all evening, but at least now I can get it out. Even after half an hour, I still don't feel totally clean, but I figure that's just psychological. As I clear the cotton buds away, however, I start to hear the second heartbeat in my body. It's strange, but every so often I feel as if there's another heat, pounding away inside me. It only lasts for a few seconds at a time, but it's the weirdest thing I've ever felt, and it's another sign that something's very wrong with me.
Once I'm asleep, I dream. Mostly, I have the same dreams every night, with a few variations. Tonight, I dream I'm in a huge house, like a mansion, and there's this other girl there and she tells me to hide. The weird thing about her is that she looks a lot like me, and she acts like she's my mother. She leads me to a cupboard and pushes me inside before slamming the door shut. As the dream continues, I hear the sound of some kind of fight outside; eventually everything falls silent and I venture out from the cupboard. There's blood all over the floor. When I reach the next room, a small red goblin-like creature scuttles across the ceiling, and there's a man standing nearby. He has the darkest eyes I've ever seen, and they're staring straight at me. Over in the corner, the woman is on her knees, slouched over, with blood pouring from an open wound on her stomach. It's a horrific sight, but the weirdest thing is that I feel at home here. I feel as if this is where I belong. Here, and only here.
Chapter Four
Los Angeles, California.
"Shelley, stop fidgeting!" Todd whispers to me. "Be patient!"
"I'm not fidgeting!" I say, getting slightly annoyed. We're in a spacious, clean and very modern-looking apartment just outside Los Angeles. It's a bright day and light is streaming in through the large windows that take up a whole wall. After a two-day journey from New York, I'm pretty exhausted and all I want to do is find somewhere to sleep, but Todd insists that we have to be here at Benjamin's house right now. Honestly, if this is all so fucking important, I don't see why Benjamin couldn't come to New York instead.
"He'll be here," Todd says.
"That'd be nice," I reply, "considering I've come two thousand, four hundred and forty-three miles to see him". I shrug. "Yeah, I checked the exact distance. I was bored".
"Patience," he says.
"Stop saying that!" I hiss at him.
"One moment, please," says Benjamin, walking into the room. He's a lot older than last time I saw him, with short gray hair and a thin, lined face. The guy must be sixty if he's a day, perhaps even in his seventies, but he has a real aura of style and class about him. Undercutting this slightly, however, is the fact that he's wearing boxer shorts and a singlet vest.
"Can we just -" I start to say.
"Wait," Todd says, interrupting me. "Just wait. You've waited sixteen years, you can wait another couple of minutes".
"I haven't been waiting for sixteen years," I tell him. "I've been getting on with my life".
"Patience," he says again.
"I remember when you were just a little kid," I say, sighing. "I used to come over to see
Sophie, and you'd be playing on the carpet". There's a pause. "I liked you better then".
He smiles. "I thought you were a hooker," he replies.
"You wish". Deciding to ignore him, I watch as Benjamin picks up a slice of ham from a box on the counter and puts it in his mouth. As he chews, he walks over to a small container in which, it turns out, there are some young chicks. They open their little beaks and Benjamin leans over, carefully spitting out a portion of chewed ham into each of their mouths.
"That's gross," I say. "That's one of the grossest things I've ever seen".
"Life is gross," Benjamin replies as he turns to me. "Let me guess, Shelley. You've managed to insulate yourself so that you only see the pretty things".
"No offense," I say, "but fuck you".
"One moment," he replies, walking out of the room.
"One moment?" I say, turning to Todd. "It's always 'one moment' with this guy. Why can't he just start talking?"
"You need to be more patient," Todd says. "Benjamin knows more about what's happening than anyone. He's the one who decided we had to keep an eye on Abigail, and he's the one who knows how we're going to keep her safe".
"Great," I say. "He did such a good job keeping Sophie safe".
"The Watchers didn't involve themselves directly in what happened to Sophie," Todd replies. "Abigail's different".
A few seconds later, Benjamin returns to the room, and this time he's wearing a perfectly cut black suit. The contrast to his appearance earlier is striking, and as he sits on the sofa opposite, he looks like he could be a member of some royal family, or a Las Vegas lounge singer.
"The birds need their feed at a certain time each day," he explains, "or their routine is destabilized. I appreciate that it must have looked a little strange, but life is life and it must be maintained wherever possible, by whatever means necessary".
"Enough about birds," I say. "Where's Abigail?"
"She's in a town called Callerton, New Mexico," he replies, "living with Evan and Ruth Parlour, a foster family. She's been with them since she was just under a year old".
"Who are Evan and Ruth fucking Parlour?" I ask.
"They've been good parents to her," he continues. "They're aware of the situation, or at least part of it. They've kept her safe and raised her well, but I'm sure you'll appreciate that there are some things they can't possibly be expected to deal with. We've reached the point at which it has become necessary for us to intervene and take Abigail out of their care".
"What does Abigail think about all of this?" I say.
"She knows nothing of it," Benjamin replies. "Yet. From what I hear, she's being bullied at school. Obviously this isn't anything particularly unusual, but the bullying is rather extreme. I'm worried that her tormentors are in some way sensing the truth about her. They can pick up on the fact that she's different".
"So what do we do?" Todd asks.
"We move for her within twenty-four hours," Benjamin continues. "There are... things out there that would very much like to get a-hold of her. Some of them want to get their hands on her so they can use her and mold her for their own purposes. Others simply want to gain revenge over her father. They've been looking for her for many years, but we've managed to keep her hidden. Now that she's turned sixteen, it's no longer possible to guarantee her safety. Her true nature is starting to emerge. To put it bluntly, she smells different. There are creatures that can pick up her scent across a great distance. If we wait much longer, she risks being attacked, and in her current state she would be unable to defend herself".
"So that's what this is?" I ask. "A rescue party?"
Benjamin smiles. "You can think of it in that way if you wish," he says. "If we leave her in Callerton, she won't last another six months. My men are on the ground there and they have already detected unusual activity in the area. Tenderlings, Golvs, various other creatures. There's even a report that Wormwood has been seen in the area. I'm sure you can appreciate that we must act with great haste".
"And then what do we do?" I ask.
"We take her to her father," he replies.
"No way," I say. "After what he did to Sophie, there's no way you can let him get his hands on Abigail".
"Things have changed now," Benjamin continue. "Duncan has initiated his own death. The Age of Chaos is coming and Abigail needs to spend time with her father before he's gone".
"What do you mean?" I ask. "How has he initiated his own death?"
"Vampires can't be killed," he explains, "but they can choose a time to die. They can set off a chemical process that begins to shut their bodies down. It typically takes between six and nine months to complete, and it can't be stopped once it has begun. Patrick has made this choice and it's only a matter of time before he passes from this world to the next".
I stare at him for a moment. "That doesn't make sense," I say. "If you can live forever, why would you choose to die?"
"All things must pass," Benjamin replies. "Patrick is ancient. He wanted to die after the vampire war, but he knew he had to wait until he had a child. Now that Abigail has reached the age of sixteen, everything is in place. The problem is that Patrick believes Abigail doesn't need guidance. After all, he himself had no guidance when he was young -"
"Look how well that turned out," Todd interjects.
Benjamin smiles. "The Watchers believe that it's in Abigail's best interests if she is taken to meet her father, to spend time with him before he dies. As her powers develop, she will need to see that she's not alone".
Standing up, I take a deep breath. "Well, guys, it sounds like you've got this covered. Thanks for filling me in, and I wish you the best of luck. Now, if you don't mind, I'm gonna head back to New York and get on with my so-called pathetic excuse for a life. Give my regards to Abby and Patrick".
"We need you," Benjamin says to me.
I shake my head. "It sounds like you've got this covered".
"Abigail will have no memory of her mother," he replies. "She'll have questions... Questions only you can answer".
"You owe it to Sophie," Todd says. "She was your best friend. You have to help her daughter".
"And if I don't?" I say, determined to not get dragged into all of this. "Will the world come to an end? Will giant spiders attack? Will monsters and goblins come out of the woodwork and start scratching her face? I mean, is there some kind of big prophecy about all of this as well? Am I destined to help Abby?"
"No," Benjamin says.
"Will the sky split? Will lightning rain down?"
"No," Benjamin says again.
"So why should I get involved?"
Benjamin pauses for a moment. "Because she's the daughter of your dead best friend, and because right now she needs you".
Chapter Five
"Have you got everything?" Ruth asks as we pull up outside the front of school. Lately she's been insisting on driving me in the mornings, and she's acting really nervous, as if she knows something's up. I guess she must have cottoned on to the fact that I'm being bullied. "Do you want me to pick you up tonight?"
I shake my head.
"Okay," she replies. She's so skittish, she can barely talk properly, and she keeps glancing around as if she expects to see the boogie man come racing over at any moment. "Just remember," she says, turning to me with a sad smile, "if you need help for anything, just go straight to the principal's office and get him to call me. Okay?"
I nod.
She stares at me for a moment. "I don't suppose there's any way I can get you to explain how you got that bruise on the side of your face, is there?" She smiles. "Don't think I didn't notice it last night, but I thought maybe it was just a bump. What happened, Abby?"
I stare at her. Even if I could talk, I wouldn't tell her the truth.
"Are you in trouble?" she asks.
I shake my head.
"Okay," she says. "Get out of here and have a good day".
I lean over and give her a brief kiss on the cheek, before getting out o
f the car and slamming the door shut. I wave as she drives off, but just as I'm about to head inside I notice that she's parked just around the corner. Figuring something must be wrong, I hurry across the parkland. As I reach the car, I see Ruth sobbing in the front seat. I back up, feeling as if this isn't something I should get involved in right now. Whatever's wrong with her, it's not as if we can talk about it like normal people. Is she really upset that I'm being bullied, or is something going on that I don't know about?
Heading into school, I walk quickly to my locker, glancing about in case there's any sign of Donna and her friends. So far, so good, and I manage to get all the way to class without being bothered. Once I'm at my desk, I spot Donna sitting over in the corner, talking to some guy named Nick. Right now, of course, I might as well be invisible. Donna spends her days talking to guys and generally acting like the queen of the whole damn place; it's only later, when school's out and she needs some cheap entertainment, that she turns her sights onto me. Still, yesterday evening she seemed different somehow, and I'm curious as to whether she's going to start changing her approach to me.
Classes go okay all morning and, when lunch comes, I quickly make my way across the the nearby park. I like to be alone as much as possible. When I'm around other people, I find myself thinking about all the ways I keep fucking up. At least when I'm alone, I can just get lost in my own thoughts. I swear, one day I'm going to just move to some remote place and live all alone in a little cabin by a river. I'll spend my days fishing and swimming, and at night I'll cook the fish I catch. I'll have a little garden where I'll grow vegetables. Most importantly, I'll never, ever have to see anyone. It'll be just me, alone all the time, and it'll be bliss.
Suddenly a stone lands next to me. Turning, I see Donna marching across the grass, coming straight at me. I feel my heart sink at the prospect of another confrontation. Seriously, why is she bothering me now? She's never done this to me during the day before.