But staying at the ranch had made it painfully obvious that her life was missing something.
Significance was only found in relationships. As much hell as Bryce had lived through, he had real relationships, solid friendships.
And what did she have?
She slipped the glove back on her hand. Best not to dwell on that question too long…
Gravel crunched behind her, thank goodness. She needed a serious distraction.
Elsie bustled over to the bench, balancing a woven basket in her arms. The sight of her tugged at Avery’s heart and made her miss her own mother in a way she hadn’t for years.
“Avery!” Elsie set down the basket and greeted her with a hug. “I’m so happy you’re here,” she gushed as she settled herself on the bench next to her.
“Me, too.” She was. Even if it hurt to know she wouldn’t be there much longer. “I’d be happier if I was out there, though,” she said, gesturing to the field, where Bryce had just caught another ball.
He was so athletic, lean but built, tall…
“I know, dear. But Bryce is cautious.” Elsie nudged the basket closer to her. “He’s only trying to protect you.” The older woman’s smile implied that there was more behind his desire to protect her.
There wasn’t. Avery already knew that for a fact.
“I get it.” She leaned over and peered into the basket so Elsie couldn’t see her face, and almost drooled at the sight of the biggest, fattest chocolate chip cookies she’d ever seen. “One of those babies might make up for being benched.”
“Well, then…” Leaning over the basket, Elsie took her time choosing the best one. Finally, she plucked one out of the batch and handed it to Avery, along with a heart-shaped napkin. Then she unwrapped one for herself and nibbled on the edge. “No need to worry, dear. We have another game on Wednesday night. By then, you’ll be as good as new.”
A sense of sorrow pinged again before deepening into an ache. She wouldn’t be there Wednesday night. She couldn’t stay. Tonight at dinner, she’d get his damn signature on the contract, then she’d walk away before it got any harder to stay.
She peeked over at the woman who’d made her breakfast every morning, who’d been so open and welcoming. How could she tell Elsie she was leaving?
“Um…” Shifting to a more comfortable position, Avery stared out at the field so she didn’t have to face the woman’s kind eyes. “Actually, I have to leave in the morning.”
“Leave? Whatever do you mean, dear? Why?”
What could she say? I have feelings for your son…feelings he could never reciprocate? She bunched her shoulders into a slightly painful shrug, given the tension in her neck. “I have to get back to work. There’s a lot to do.”
Elsie clucked at her. “Work. Pshaw,” she muttered, biting into her cookie. She covered her mouth with her hand as she chewed, then dabbed her lips with a napkin. “It seems to me you need a vacation, dear. A real vacation. Why don’t you stay another week? Enjoy some rest in the mountains?”
Elsie was as bad as Bryce in the temptation department.
She looked past the field and out to the mountains that surrounded it, and for the first time in her life, she understood what “Purple Mountains Majesty” meant. The granite peaks gleamed with a royal glow, solid rock plunging so high into the sky’s blue depths they almost looked purple.
Even with the sounds of cheering and heckling coming from the field, the space around her echoed with a peaceful stillness that had started to influence her. Things were slower in the mountains, quieter. There was space to think, to feel, to be. Back in Chicago, she lived in a hurry, stilettos pounding the pavement to and from work, to and from meetings, to and from dinners with Dad…
A real vacation. Yes. It was tempting. When was the last time she’d taken a vacation? There’d been the week in Barbados last year, but that was for the opening of their resort, which had demanded that she work and attend meetings from eight o’clock in the morning until well past eleven o’clock at night. She’d never even had the chance to put on the bikini she’d bought.
“You’re welcome to stay as long as you want.” Elsie leaned close, brushing her shoulder against Avery’s. “You know that, right?”
“I know.” She’d never felt so welcome anywhere in her life.
“It’s been wonderful to have you,” the woman murmured and Avery could’ve sworn tears gathered in her eyes. “Things have been lonely since Yvonne passed. If you want the truth, I was starting to lose hope. I didn’t think we’d ever welcome another guest.”
A guest. That was exactly how Elsie had treated her, even though she’d been up front about her agenda from the beginning.
“I was thinking we could have a barbeque this weekend.” Elsie polished off her cookie and brushed the crumbs from her fingers. “We’ll invite the whole team. Why, you can give everyone tips on batting. Lord knows some of them could use the help.” Her lips lifted in a hopeful look that sent Avery’s resolve spiraling. This was so hard.
“I’m sorry.” She wrapped her cookie in the napkin and set it next to her on the bench. “I can’t stay.”
“Whyever not?” The woman eyed the cookie on the bench, obviously concerned that Avery hadn’t finished it.
She couldn’t, though. Sadness had ruined the taste. “Because Bryce and I have…” Hmmm. How could she best phrase their complicated relationship? “We’ve gotten close.”
“Mmm hmmm,” Elsie murmured, eyes wide with interest, inviting her to continue.
Even though she’d rather not, she felt she owed Bryce’s mother an explanation, especially after everything she’d done for her. “But he’s still in love with Yvonne, and I know how hard that is. After my mom died, my father wasn’t capable of loving anyone. He’s still not.”
“I see.” Elsie gazed out at the field, her face softened into a thoughtful expression.
“I’m grateful for everything you’ve done.” Avery tried to make light of the heaviness between them with a laugh. “I’m pretty sure I’ve gained about fifteen pounds eating all of your wonderful cooking. I’ll probably have to buy a whole new wardrobe when I get home.”
But Elsie wasn’t easily distracted by a joke. She didn’t even seem to hear it.
“You know, dear,” she said in her sweet, motherly tone, “I lost Bryce’s dad a long time ago. He had a heart attack when he was only thirty.”
So Bryce had never known his father? She watched him out there on the field, laughing at something Shooter said. “That must’ve been so hard.”
“Oh, my, yes.” Emotion quieted her voice. “I was angry and lost. But I loved Bryce too much to let myself stay that way.”
“You never moved on? Never got remarried?” That seemed impossible. There was something about Elsie that drew you in, that made you want to know her. She was so different from Dad. There wasn’t one hint of bitterness or guilt anywhere in her. She seemed so free.
“I didn’t have to remarry. I already had the love of life with me every day.” She glanced in Bryce’s direction, and her smile held so much—a blend of pride and joy and hope. Her wise blue eyes met Avery’s. “Real love is the only thing in this world that can make you free, dear. It’s the only thing that can help you heal.” She squeezed her shoulder. “But you have to choose it. I can’t say what Bryce will choose. He knows how to love. Trust me. He’s a bit fierce but once he gives his heart to someone, they have it forever.”
That was exactly what she was worried about. He’d already given his heart away. If she chose Bryce, she’d always live in the shadow of that knowledge.
Out on the field, Sawyer managed to tag someone out on first.
“Three! That’s three!” Paige yelled, and the Walker Mountain Ranch Misfits ran for the bench.
“You’re still planning to join us for dinner tonight, aren’t you?” Elsie stood and collected her basket.
“Are you kidding?” Avery grinned up at her. “I wouldn’t miss it.”
She couldn’t miss it. Tonight, she’d end this. She’d get his signature and deliver the signed contract to her father.
Then she’d hop on the first flight back to Chicago before it got any harder to leave.
*
Another day, another victory.
Bryce high-fived Sawyer and Timmons as they dashed toward the bench for their post-game snacks, courtesy of Mom. He’d tried telling her he wasn’t in Little League anymore, but she still had a hard time coming to a game empty-handed. Not that anyone complained. In fact, Elsie Walker’s baked goods had earned quite the reputation. Those cookies she was currently handing out were known to draw plenty of fans from town who’d figured out she always brought extras for the people in the stands who cheered for her team. If you happened to like the opponents, though, forget it. No cookie for you.
No cookie for him, either. Because Mom happened to be standing right next to Avery, and he still hadn’t figured out how to answer her question. Not that she seemed to care. Every time he’d gotten near her, she’d managed to concentrate pretty hard on those stats. She seemed to have plenty to say to Mom, though. They’d spent the entire inning with their heads tilted together, and it hadn’t looked like they were chatting about the weather.
Damn. He’d never been good at this. When Yvonne used to mention his drinking, he’d blow her off exactly the way he did Avery in the car. Never knew how to bring up her depression, either. Those weeks she’d curl up in bed, too weary to do much of anything, he’d avoid her, avoid it all, and practically move into the bar. He’d had a problem even then, never knew when to quit. But he never wanted to talk about it. Never wanted to talk about anything.
Nope. He was more of a doer. So instead of heading to the bench where everyone celebrated, he jogged the bases, picking up each one so he could store them in the truck until the next game. He’d made it to third when Shooter lumbered over, munching on a cookie.
“Dude, you gonna go over there or what?”
He knelt to collect the base…and so he wouldn’t have to face his friend. “Pardon?”
“How do you expect to get back in the game if you don’t even talk to her?”
How did Shooter expect him to pick up home base when he wouldn’t get out of his way? He stood. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he lied. Because the last person he’d ever discuss Avery with was Shooter.
His friend spread his arms like Bryce was stupid. “You wanna get in her pants, you gotta talk to her. Even I know that.”
It was hard to take him seriously with that smear of chocolate down his chin. Some guys never left Little League. He bumped his shoulder on his way past him. “Sue me if I’d rather not take dating advice from you.” Shooter’s longest relationship had been with a foreign exchange student from France who didn’t know much English. After being in the country for three months, she learned enough to dump his ass.
“Shooter’s right, moron.” Paige came up behind him. “You’ve been staring at her all night. Here.” She yanked her sleeve down and dabbed his chin. “Let me get that drool for you.”
He jerked away from her and darted a glance at Avery to make sure she hadn’t seen his friends razzing him. That was all he needed.
“See?” Paige taunted. “You can’t even keep your eyes off of her for five seconds.”
He bent to the ground and ripped up the base, tucked it under his arm. No use denying it. They knew him too well.
“Come on, Walker.” Paige barricaded him against the chain-link backdrop.
Shooter lined up next to her. “What happened? You two were all cutesy last time we played. Now she won’t even look at you.”
There was no way out of it. If he tried to walk away, these two yahoos would make a scene. He tossed the bases down in a pile. “We had a…” Problem? Fight? He didn’t even know what to call it. “…thing on the way over.”
“A thing,” Paige repeated, her brows peaked in a question.
“Yeah. She asked me a question about Yvonne and I blew her off.”
“This is shocking.” Paige slapped a hand over her mouth in mock astonishment.
He glared at her. Not helpful. “It caught me off guard. I wasn’t expecting it.”
“I get it, man.” Shooter gave Avery a once-over with his eyes. “Her hot body catches me off guard every time I—”
“Hush.” Paige clasped her hand over Shooter’s mouth until he shrugged away from her. The scowl on her face dared either one of them to interrupt her. “You know I love you and everything, and that’s the only reason I can say this.”
He shot her a desperate look. Did she have to be so loud?
“It’s time to stop playing the martyr,” she announced, and it was a damn good thing Avery was busy talking to Sawyer and Kaylee.
“Yvonne died. It sucks. Shit happens every single day.”
His heart thudded until he reminded himself that she’d earned the right to say that.
“We all miss Yvonne. We loved her, too.” The hard edge in her tone softened. “But Avery’s into you. Trust me. I can tell. And if you don’t go over there right now, you’ll miss your chance.”
He drew in a breath but his chest was so tight it felt like he’d inhaled glass. Maybe he didn’t deserve another chance; had Paige thought of that? Maybe Yvonne had been taken away from him because he’d taken her—everything—for granted. Maybe if he’d been a better man for her, she’d still be alive. “I don’t even know what to say.”
“I can think of a few things.” Shooter snickered like a kid looking at a dirty magazine in church, but Paige gutted him with her elbow.
“Start with hi,” she said with a smirk. “It’s a conversation, not a marriage proposal.” Spreading her feet, she kicked out her hip and stacked her shoulders into some kind of really bad impersonation of him. “Hi Avery. How’s it going? Sorry I bit off your head earlier.”
Her interpretation of a man’s voice almost made him laugh.
Silencing him with her hand, Paige continued. “Obviously, I have some issues to work through, but I’d like to take you out so I can answer your question over a nice, expensive dinner.” Her hands spread in a silent ta-da. “See? Nothing to it. Trust me. You’ll have her at ‘expensive dinner.’”
“I don’t want to bribe her.” But Paige was right. He did owe her an apology. That much he could do. He’d gotten pretty good at apologizing over the last couple of years.
“Oh! Hurry up and get over there.” Paige prodded his shoulder. “She’s alone.”
He gave her a gentle shove in the opposite direction. Didn’t need an audience for this. “Thanks. I think I can take it from here.”
“You got it, chief.” After saluting him, she stooped to grab the bases he’d dropped on the ground. “Shooter and I’ll just get these loaded in your truck.” She stabbed her pointer finger into his friend’s back and forced him up the hill toward the parking lot.
As soon as they were out of sight, Bryce sauntered over to the bench, hopefully looking more relaxed than he felt.
Avery sat at the edge, head down, eyes focused on the stats clipboard. Even with the sound of his footfalls against the gravel, she didn’t look up.
“Hey.” He plopped down next to her. “How’s the head?”
“Great.”
A one-word answer? From Avery King? That wasn’t good. He tried again. “I’m sorry about earlier.”
She blinked a beat too long before looking up. Her lips eased into a smile, but her expression was guarded in a way it hadn’t been before. “I’m the one who should apologize. I shouldn’t have asked you that. It was a silly question.”
“No. It wasn’t.” He’d been all over her. He’d kissed her. But he wouldn’t talk to her about anything important. No wonder she seemed confused. “You had every right to ask. I wasn’t sure how to answer.”
“You don’t have to,” she insisted, standing up. “Let’s forget it, okay?”
“I don’t want to.” He owed her an explanation. If she
knew how Yvonne had died, maybe she’d understand why it was such a loaded question. Why he still carried her with him. “Let’s talk on the way back to the lodge.”
“Actually, Paige said she’d take me back to the lodge.”
“Paige?” He looked up the hill but couldn’t see her. Great. She was the one who’d insisted he talk to Avery and now she’d ruined his opportunity.
“She said she wanted to swing by her apartment and show me her kayak collection.”
Her kayak collection? What, were they best friends now? “Have you ever been kayaking?”
“Well…” Her eyes darted to the side. “No. But she was so excited about it. And it looks like fun. Maybe I’ll learn someday.”
Or maybe she wanted to escape from him.
She handed over the clipboard. “Here are the stats. I think I got everything.”
“Thanks.” He wanted to reach for her, to slow her down and make her look him in the eyes.
But she backed away. “I guess I’ll see you later.”
His arms hung heavy at his sides. Yeah. She was definitely avoiding him. “You’ll be back for dinner?” he asked, letting hope flicker in the words.
Her smile picked up and gathered in the corners of her eyes. “Wouldn’t miss it,” she said briskly, then left him standing there.
Alone.
Chapter Sixteen
There had to be something she could wear.
Avery kicked through the pile of clothes strewn across the floor of her small suite. This was it. Her closing argument to Bryce and Elsie. She needed something professional, yet casual. Something that said, listen to me! I’m trying to help you! I know what I’m talking about!
It was time to get down to business, do what Dad taught her. Get in. Sign the deal. Get out. No emotions involved. As he said, emotions only complicated things, and the scene at the ballpark had proven it.
The truth was, she’d asked Paige to drive her back to the lodge so Bryce wouldn’t feel awkward. Somehow she’d gotten derailed in her mission here. Blame the thin mountain air or the concussion, but whatever had caused it, she had to take back control.
No…
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