She lay there naked to the waist, still wearing her lacy bloomers. He ran a hand along her leg and thigh, then came down close again. “So many clothes you white women wear,” he whispered before meeting her lips in a savage kiss. His big hand pressed firmly at her flat belly, then slipped inside the bloomers. She groaned into the kiss as his fingers touched places no man had ever touched before. She had no idea it could be this wonderful. She felt removed from the real world, alive, on fire.
Brand Selby had never known such ecstasy as he experienced now. Rachael Rivers lay nearly naked beneath him, responding to his kisses, his touch. He felt the satiny moistness of her love nest, and fire ripped through his blood. Rachael Rivers would belong to him! How he loved her! He had never in his life felt this way about anyone, never wanted so badly to possess something the way he wanted to possess this woman. He shuddered as he explored private places he knew he was the first to touch. He moved his lips over her face, her eyes, kissing, licking, tasting, while he could tell his fingers were drawing out all her womanly desires, awaking her to the pleasures of being with a man for the first time.
Rachael felt the unbelievably delightful climax. She cried out, gasping for breath, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him wildly. She felt his hand move around to her hips, and he pulled at the bloomers. She raised up, letting him slip them down to her ankles. She kept her eyes closed as he moved to pull them off, over her shoes. This was all so new. She couldn’t bring herself to look as she sensed he was unlacing his buckskin pants. She was sure her whole body was pink with embarrassment, and yet she didn’t want to cover up. She hoped he liked what he saw, little realizing just how pleased Brand was at the sight of her.
She felt him come closer. He drew her close, moving his bare chest over her breasts lightly, pushing one knee against her left leg so that it parted enough for him to settle between her legs. She felt the hardness against her thigh, and her fingers dug into his powerful shoulders.
“You are the most beautiful creature ever born,” he told her softly, nibbling at her lips again. “Your legs are firm and milky white, your bottom soft, your belly flat, your breasts full and pink. Everywhere you are pink and white, like a delicate desert flower.”
She breathed deeply as his lips moved over her neck. He bent his head, tasting her breasts again. He rubbed his manhood against the soft hair of her love nest as his lips moved back to her mouth.
“The pain only lasts a moment, my sweet Rachael,” he almost groaned. “I am sorry for it. After this time it will be beautiful.”
She felt the sudden penetration, and her first thought was that perhaps she should have looked first. The pain was more than she had expected. It made her cry out with surprise. It was as though something was tearing inside of her, and she dug her fingers deep into his dark skin, her eyes coming wide open as she screamed his name.
He moved one hand down under her hips to support her, while he slid the other arm under her shoulders. She raised up, burying her face in his shoulder, as he groaned words of desire in the Comanche tongue, his own breathing now labored. He pressed his face against her hair and pushed deep inside her.
He was lost in her, hardly aware of how deeply her nails dug into his skin. He wondered if any man had known this much pleasure. But he knew how much he had hurt her, too, and he allowed the ecstasy of the moment to come full force so that quickly his life spilled into her. He could not bring himself to prolong her pain. He cried out at his own throbbing release, then he held still a moment, breathing deeply, taking a moment to come down from his mountain of ecstasy and meet reality again.
He gently released his hold on her, and Rachael lay back against the blanket, shaking and crying. His heart went out to her. He did not like bringing her pain, and never had he loved anything as much as he loved Rachael Rivers this moment. The woman he was sure he could never have had just let him mate with her. He wondered if he was just dreaming and would wake up soon to discover this was not real.
He gently stroked her damp hair back from her flushed face. “Don’t cry, Rachael. It was only your first time. Soon this part of it will feel as wonderful as all the rest. This I promise.” He bent closer and kissed the tears on her cheeks. “Don’t cry, little one. The pain will go away. Tell me you still love me, Rachael, for I could never love anyone as much as I love you. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“It isn’t…just the pain,” she whimpered. She wiped at her tears with a shaking hand. “Oh, Brand, what have I done!”
He enveloped her in his arms, pulling her close and kissing her hair. “You have done nothing wrong, if that is what you mean.”
“We aren’t even married!”
“Aren’t we? What did I tell you about that piece of paper? It means nothing. Would it be more right if you had married a white man before one of your Christian preachers, signed that piece of paper, but did not love him? Would your God smile upon such a marriage, one where there is no passion, no desire?”
She sniffed, clinging to him. “I never thought of it that way.”
“I am not so sure your God is any different from mine, Rachael. But I know that the spirits have willed this, that it is as right as it can be. Whether we go before a white man of God or not, I have already made you my wife. You belong to me now, and I belong to you. And somehow our love will make all of this work out right, for we are meant to be together.”
She felt calmer, realizing that her brief fear that he had used her was silly. Brand Selby loved her. He thought no less of her. He would never use her. “I need a handkerchief,” she told him, releasing her hold. “There is one in the pocket of my dress.”
“I will get it.” He gently released her, laying her back on the blanket. Their eyes held for a moment, and her face began to redden at the realization of what this man had just done to her. Brand Selby, the half-breed. She had let him invade her body as though it was as natural as breathing.
He smiled softly, as though sensing her thoughts. “You are so good and so beautiful,” he told her. “If I had any sense I would have told you I do not love you; should have taken you back right away. But you make me weak, Rachael. When I am with you, you are the one with all the power.”
She closed her eyes, grasping his hand. “I didn’t feel very powerful. I’m sure it was the other way around, Brand. And right now I feel totally spent, so tired.”
He squeezed her hand and rose, and she allowed herself a glimpse at his naked splendor. It was as she had imagined. He seemed a perfect specimen of manhood. She noticed a small strip of rawhide about his waist that led to a pouch tied to the inside of his thigh, another piece of rawhide tied around his leg to secure the pouch. She realized it must be the medicine bag he had told her about. She had not noticed it when he made love to her and it apparently had not gotten in the way.
He walked to his horse and got down the canteen and took a cloth out of his parfleche, then untied a second blanket. Rachael noticed white stripes on his back, scar tissue. She realized with horror that they must be from Jason Brown’s bullwhip, from the night Brand had tried to grab the little girl. She shuddered at the thought of it, and dread moved through her blood at the realization of the danger Brand would be in once Jason discovered she loved the man.
Brand came back to her, setting down the cloth, canteen, and blanket and picking up her dress. He rummaged for the the handkerchief and handed it to her.
“We will go to the stream and wash,” he told her as she blew her nose. “I would like nothing more than to make love to you again and again. But I have hurt you. You need a couple of days to heal before we do this again.”
Before we do this again. The words swam in her head. He had said it as though there was no doubt about it. But already she was wondering what she was going to tell Lacy, and worse, what she should say to Joshua. How would she explain this? Should she tell him how far it had gone? She had given no thought to things getting so out of hand. She had planned simply to tell him her feelings and then as
k him to take her back to town. None of his had turned out as she had thought it would, and she felt a mixture of wonderful happiness and relief, combined with a terrible dread of what the consequences could be. Her heart tightened when she realized it could be worse for Brand than for herself.
Brand untied his medicine bag and laid it carefully aside. He picked up the cloth he had brought over, then reached down and picked Rachael up in his arms. “We will go and wash.”
She hugged him around the neck. “Tell me again that you love me,” she whispered. “I love you so much, Brand, and I’m so scared.”
“I love you more than my own life,” he answered. “And why are you afraid?”
“I’m afraid for you. People are so terribly prejudiced. When I tell Joshua that it’s you I love—”
“Hush, Rachael,” he interrupted. “Wait until we wash. Do not let your mind fill with too many things at once. It is enough that we have told each other, and now we have sealed that love. That is all that matters for the moment.”
He walked into the water with her and she squealed at the feel of the cold stream against her feet when he stood her in it. Brand grinned as he bent down and wet the cloth. He wrung it out and rose to gently wash her hot, flushed face with its cool dampness. She wondered at how easy it was to stand there naked before him, letting him move the rag over her body, her neck, her chest, under her breasts.
He moved the cool rag to her belly, noticing a little blood on her thigh. It tore at his heart. He felt like a cruel man to have hurt her that way, and yet it could not be helped. At least after this time each time would be more enjoyable for her. He washed off the blood, then dipped the rag again and held it against her belly. He looked up at her, seeing tears in her eyes. He rose, touching her face gently. “Are you in a lot of pain?”
She reddened. “It isn’t that.” She looked down. “Oh, God, Brand, I’m afraid for you. When Jason finds out, he’ll surely try to kill you.”
Brand sighed, grasping her chin and making her meet his eyes. “Do I look afraid?”
“Oh, Brand, you shouldn’t take it so lightly.”
“How else can I take it? It is right, Rachael, you and me. If the spirits have willed it, things will turn out right, even though we might go through some hell for a while. Here.” He handed her the cloth. “Hold the cold cloth between your legs for a moment. It might even be better if you sat down in the water. It will help ease the pain and stop the bleeding.”
She blinked and looked down at herself. “Bleeding?”
“It’s all right. It is natural. Sit down in the water for a moment and I will bring over the extra blanket to wrap around you when you come out so you don’t get chilled.”
He took a moment to splash water on himself, while Rachael eased herself into the cold water.
“Don’t be worrying about anything else today,” he told her. “You have been through much this day. Today you became my bride, the Comanche way.” He turned and gave her a reassuring smile, moving out of the stream to get the other blanket. He brought it to the edge of the stream.
“Sit there a moment. I’m going to put my clothes on and take a look around, make sure we’re still alone. I took a chance letting you undress out here.” He grinned. “But I didn’t have much common sense at the moment.”
She watched him walk back to tie on the medicine pouch and then his loincloth. She studied the scars on his back. Jason Brown! So, the man was even worse than she had imagined. The thought of letting Jason do what Brand had just done to her made her feel sick.
She watched Brand pull on his buckskin pants, then pick up his rifle and walk farther away. He disappeared into the trees and rocks for a moment, but she was not afraid. The only thing that worried her now was how much Jason Brown and Brand Selby must hate each other.
Moments later Brand returned. “Everything looks quiet,” he told her. He set the rifle aside and picked up the blanket, holding it open. “Come on out. I’ll wrap you up.”
Rachael smiled, standing up and walking toward the blanket. She stood there a moment, feeling the fire of desire begin to move through her all over again as his green eyes drank in her beauty. She stepped into the blanket and he folded it around her, keeping his arms around her, meeting her lips again. They kissed, a long, sweet kiss that seemed to seal what they had just done. His breath was sweet, and his hair smelled clean as it brushed against her face. And she knew he was right. They would make love again, many times, for the rest of their lives. Surely this was what her mother had meant about that special feeling, about knowing without a doubt the right man had come along.
She wondered if it had happened this way for Emma Rivers, if Joe Rivers had come along and swept her off her feet, perhaps taking her the Indian way as Brand had done today with her. Her mother had hinted it had happened that way, but she had never come right out and said so, perhaps thinking Rachael wouldn’t understand at her young age.
Brand picked her up in her arms then, carrying her back to the blanket on the ground and setting her on it. Rachael realized how much the man resembled her own father. Surely that was partly what she loved about him.
“Brand, I don’t even know how old you are,” she said then.
He sat down beside her. “I am twenty-nine summers. How many are you?”
She kept the blanket wrapped tightly around her. “I’m nineteen.”
His eyebrows arched. “Nineteen, and you have taken your first man. You do not find nineteen-year-old Indian women who are not already married and have children.”
She smiled softly, reddening at the remark. She met his eyes then. “I never had the right feelings for a man before now.”
He grinned in return. “And I am glad for that, or you would already belong to someone else, and I could never know the joy I know today.” He moved closer, laying her back and cradling her in his arm. He gently touched her face, and she wondered how such a big man could be so gentle. “I have complicated your life this day, Rachael Rivers. I am sorry.”
She shook her head, turning to kiss the palm of his hand. “I brought it on myself.” Her eyes teared a little as she turned her head, holding his hand against her face. “And you didn’t hear me telling you to stop.” Their eyes held. “I never thought I could love anyone this much, Brand. It almost hurts.”
He nodded. “I know what you mean. It is the same for me.”
She closed her eyes, keeping his hand against her face. “I never knew love could be so wonderful and so scary and hurt so much but bring so much joy, all at the same time,” she said wearily.
He pulled her close, running his fingers through her hair. “Soon it will be time to take you back. Let’s just lie here together. I want to hold you a while and think only of how much I love you, and to know that you love me.”
“I don’t want to go back—ever.”
“I know. Nor do I want to let you go. But that is what we must do, for today, at least. Hush now. Just rest.”
She closed her eyes and nestled against him. The strain of the past weeks combined with the intense emotions she had experienced this day quickly brought on an exhausted sleep.
Brand watched her, studying the beautiful face, the golden hair, gently opening the blanket just enough to gaze upon her full breasts. She belonged to him now! Rachael Rivers was his woman. It made his heart swell with great pride and overwhelming love. But he also worried that he had been wrong to take her, not for the act itself, but because now they were committed, and that could mean tragedy for his precious Rachael. He vowed he would never let anything or anyone hurt her, least of all Jason Brown.
He let her sleep until the sun told him she must go back. How he hated to wake her. She looked like an innocent child lying there, but she was no longer a child. She was a woman. He had made sure of that. He gently roused her and she blinked awake, looking confused at first.
“It is time to go,” he told her, kissing her nose.
She watched him, her eyes widening as she realized where s
he was, what had happened. She hugged him tightly. “Brand, it was real then, wasn’t it? We made love.”
“Oh yes, it was real.” He kissed her ear. “Let’s not wait three days this time. Come again tomorrow, and we will go to the cabin. We will have some time to think, and we can talk more about all of this, and we can make love again.”
He met her mouth and she gloried in her newfound love, relishing the waves of ecstasy that rippled through her body at his touch. This big, strong, handsome, wild man loved her, Rachael Rivers! His hand moved inside the blanket and over a breast ever so lightly, bringing the terrible, wonderful desire to her body again. How strange it seemed to have slept in the Texas wilds in the arms of this man who was as wild as the land—to wake up and know she had not dreamed what had happened earlier. Brand Selby had made love to her.
He pulled away from her mouth, his jaw flexing with his own desires, his eyes looking glazed. He looked down where the blanket had fallen open, drinking in the sight of her full, white breasts.
“I want nothing more than to be one with you again,” he told her. “But it is best to wait until tomorrow.”
She ran a hand over his chest, then traced her fingers along his neck and up over his lips. “Let me stay, Brand. I want to sleep with you tonight. I’m scared to leave you, scared something will happen that will keep me from being able to come back.”
He smiled, love shining in his eyes. “Nothing will happen. I told you, the spirits have willed our union. I will not allow anything to keep us apart. For a little while yet we must be careful. Soon I will have some horses ready to sell. I will have some money to buy even better stock and to be a good providor for you. Then we will try to find a preacher who will agree to marry us your way. I do not believe it is necessary, but I know it means something to you, so I will sign your silly piece of paper, Rachael Rivers. Then you will legally be Mrs. Brand Selby.”
Her eyes glittered with love in return, but tears came into them. “You truly don’t think I’m bad, Brand?”
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