“She’s just going to feed the baby,” Josh called out with laughter.
“Sure she is,” someone yelled back.
Marybeth was too embarrassed to look at them. “Won’t they be surprised when we come back,” Josh told her, following her inside.
Marybeth laughed and took Danny as they went in. Her eyes widened as she looked around the little one-room cabin. It was clean and tidy, and there were curtains at the windows. There was a bed in one corner, made up with clean sheets and blankets. A checkered tablecloth covered a small table, and an oil lamp sat on it. The sun was setting, and Josh lit the lamp for a little more light.
“Oh, Josh, it’s wonderful.”
“I thought so, too. There is a little room off the back where there’s a wash bowl and a couple of buckets of water. And there’s an out-house just outside the back door there, so you don’t have to go far.”
“It will be nice not to have to hold up blankets or go searching for someplace private—at least for a day or two.”
He laughed lightly. “I’ll go get our things while you feed Danny. I know we’re going back out, but we might as well get everything over here for later.” He kissed her cheek and left, and she could hear others teasing him when he went back outside.
Marybeth unbuttoned her dress and put Danny to her breast, then took hold of a bed blanket at the end of the bed and drew it over herself. After several minutes, Josh came back inside with her carpetbag, and an armful of clothes for himself.
“They didn’t make it very easy for me,” he told her. “The ribbing got worse. I even got offered more whiskey, but I turned it down like a good boy.”
She smiled, and their eyes held. He set the things aside and came to the bed, sitting down beside her. Marybeth felt the fire beginning to move through her at his very closeness. Josh Rivers was her husband now. He put an arm around her and reached over to gently pull the blanket away. She made no protest, her heart pounding wildly as his eyes rested on her breast as Danny took his nourishment. She trembled as he leaned down, gently kissing the white of her breast. His lips moved over her breast then and to her throat.
“I love you so much, Marybeth. I’m so proud you’re my wife.” He met her lips with sweet desire on his own, grasping the back of her head and drawing out the kiss seductively. Already she wondered why she thought earlier she might be afraid of him. Josh Rivers didn’t know how to be anything but gentle with a woman.
He left her mouth, and she studied his eyes, seeing the need and love in his own. “Let’s not go back out,” she said, surprising herself at the words. “When Danny is through, take him to Delores and…come back. I’ll go and change.”
He searched her sea-green eyes, on fire for her. “You sure?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
He smiled. “It’s hard to believe any of this, isn’t it?”
Her eyes misted. “I am so afraid I am only dreaming—that I will wake up and find myself still traveling with the MacKinders. If it is just a dream, I want to experience the best part of it before I do wake up.”
Danny’s eyes were drooping. It had got to the point where he fed very little in the evening. She could tell she was going to be able to wean him early. It had been a long day for the boy, and Marybeth knew he would sleep soundly all night. She gently pulled him away from her breast, and Josh took him from her. Suddenly it was so easy to let him see her breast; she handed the boy over with the feeling she was giving him to his father. Josh went to the door, and alarm suddenly came into her eyes. “Josh!”
He turned, frowning. “What’s wrong?”
She pulled her dress over herself. “Don’t leave him with Delores. Lay him here on the bed and go and get some bedding and his little wagon. We’ll let him sleep in that. He’ll sleep through the night. He won’t be any bother to us. I…I don’t want him out of my sight tonight.”
“What are you afraid of?”
“I don’t trust John or Mac. I know them. If they could steal him, they would. With all the dancing and noise, Mac could ride away with him.”
“You don’t really think he’d do a thing like that, do you?”
“Yes, he would. They are still very angry. Please, Josh. I thought we should leave him with Delores for the night, but I want him here near us.”
He walked back over and laid the boy on the bed. “All right. Just don’t get all upset.” He kissed her lightly. “Nothing is going to happen to him—or you. You’ve got me now, remember? And lots of friends. You just stay relaxed and go and change. I’ll go get the wagon.”
She reached around his neck and he rose, still embracing her. “Thank you,” she told him. “And be careful, Josh. You must be careful, especially tonight.”
“I’ll be back here in five minutes. Then we’ll bolt that door, and nobody can bother us the rest of the night.” He kissed her lightly and set her on her feet, then left. She bolted the door behind him, then took the soft, white cotton nightgown from her bag and hurriedly took off her clothes. She went to the washroom and washed and dried off her breast, then pulled the sleeveless nightgown over her naked body. She walked back into the main room and took out her brush, brushing her hair nervously. She studied herself in an old, stained mirror, pinching her cheeks for color, then took a bottle of lilac water from her bag, sprinkling some on herself. By then she already heard Josh at the door. She walked over and unbolted it, letting him inside.
Josh stood there for a moment, his eyes moving over her, studying the hard points of her breast that were easily discernible beneath the thin material. She felt herself reddening as she stepped back a little and folded her arms in front of her.
“You look beautiful,” he told her softly. He brought in the wagon and bedding, then closed and bolted the door. He set the wagon near the bed and filled it with a couple of feather pillows and blankets, then took Danny from the bed and laid him carefully into the wagon. He covered the boy, smiling at Danny’s puckered lips. “He sure is a good kid,” he remarked.
Marybeth watched him lovingly as he made sure all the curtains were closed tightly, then turned down the oil lamp. He looked back at her, and she smiled nervously, moving to the other side of the bed.
“I’ll turn down the blankets,” she told him. She drew them back and sat down on the other side of the bed, rubbing her arms. “I know it is hot out, but suddenly I am very cold.”
He grinned and shook his head, removing his suit coat and vest, untying his tie and throwing everything over the brass rail at the end of the bed. “Marybeth, you don’t have to sit there and shiver like a lamb waiting for slaughter.” He unbuttoned and removed his shirt.
She swallowed, consumed with both apprehension and anticipation. “Is that how I look?”
He sat down in a chair near the bed and put out a foot. “Yes. Relax and grab hold of this boot, will you? I’m too sore in the middle to bend over and pull it off.”
She grasped the boot and pulled, and he winced with lingering pain at the strain. He sat there a minute breathing deeply. “If it’s going to hurt that much, we might as well do the other one and get it over with.” She grasped the other boot and pulled again, and he let out a disgusted gasp. “I hope to hell things go nice and easy for us for a while. I’m still not in any shape to go one on one with some Indian brave or with one of your relatives.”
He leaned back for a moment, and she studied his handsome form, the powerful arms and shoulders. Although he still wore linen strips wrapped around his ribs, it was obvious his stomach was flat and muscled, and above and below the bandage she could see soft, dark hairs. The memory of another big, hairy chest flashed into her mind, hovering over her virgin body, its owner laughing and panting as he too quickly introduced her to man.
She quickly pushed the thought away. “I’ll pull off your socks,” she told Josh. She removed them, and he stood up, unbuttoning his trousers. Marybeth looked away as he threw them aside and stood there in his longjohns.
He sat down beside her, touchin
g her face, feeling her tension. It amazed him that she had had a husband and had even delivered a child, for she seemed almost as hesitant as a virgin. “You said you trusted me, remember?”
“I remember,” she answered quietly.
He leaned behind her and pulled back the covers. “Why don’t you just crawl under these sheets, and I’ll lie down beside you and just hold you. If that’s all we do all night, then that’s all we do. At least we’ll wake up together. We’ve both been wanting that for a long time.”
Again came the memories—Dan MacKinder yanking off her wedding gown before she had time to change or think. There had been no tender words beforehand, no gentle caresses—just an eagerness to get at her and satisfy his own needs. She looked at Josh.
“Do you mean that?”
She saw no teasing grin, no little sparkle that was usually in his eyes when he was teasing her. “I mean it.”
She dropped her eyes and moved under the covers. He turned the lamp down to an even dimmer light and moved into bed beside her. She lay rigid, feeling awkward, haunted by fears Dan MacKinder had instilled in her, yet wanting this man with more passion than she thought she had in her. He moved an arm under her neck. “Come here.”
She nestled into his shoulder and felt the fire begin to move through her when he rested a hand on her belly. “That was one fine wedding, wasn’t it?”
“Yes, it was,” she answered. “Everyone was so nice to us. I would rather have that wedding than the grandest church wedding. I’ll always remember it, and the friends we’ve made. I’ll miss them when we all go our separate ways in Oregon.”
“Well, maybe we’ll find a way to settle near some of them—at least Delores and Aaron. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
“Oh, yes! And I want to be with Delores when she has her baby. I hope it all goes well for her. She deserves to be happy.” His hand massaged her belly in gentle, circular movements as they talked, and she began to relax more, a fire building deep inside her. She realized she wanted him more with every word, every movement. Was he deliberately doing this? Dan had never moved his hand over her this way.
“Yes, she deserves it. And so do you,” he answered. “You deserve happiness more than anyone I can think of. I’ll try to make you happy, Marybeth.”
“You already have. You made me your wife.”
He kissed her hair, and she knew what he was thinking. She was his wife only on paper. She still did not belong to him completely. She had to know if it was really true—if she could really enjoy a man. She knew he meant it when he said he wouldn’t do anything if she didn’t want to. But she also knew he wasn’t about to let the night go without at least trying. Yet she didn’t mind. He wasn’t raking over her, forcing himself into her. He was being so sweet about it, so gentle. She smiled.
“You’re trying to trick me, Joshua Rivers.”
“Trick you? I’m just trying to relax you.”
She turned her face to his. Their eyes held, and in the next moment their lips met. That was all either of them needed. Her passion for him far outweighed her apprehension, and she found herself returning the kiss with as much need and desire as he felt for her. She wanted him! She was enjoying his touch! It seemed so incredible.
She whimpered as his hand moved around to her bottom and down her leg, then up under her gown, massaging her bare hips, moving to the inside of her thigh. His fingers moved into secret places, drawing out her moistness as he made lovely, circular movements that brought out an aching desire she had never felt before. What was this magical thing he was doing to her? He made her want to move her tongue wantonly over his lips, made her want to open up to him; he brought forth a wonderful, agonizing throbbing from somewhere deep inside that made her cry out his name over and over when his lips left her own.
He pushed up her gown and moved on top of her, and she knew what he wanted. To her amazement she wanted it just as much, could hardly wait for him to unbutton his longjohns. It had all happened in what seemed seconds. Never had she wanted a man this way, with such utter agony and passion, with such sudden wantonness.
She cried out when he entered her, and he covered her mouth with his own, running his tongue deep, just as he ran himself deep inside her belly, filling her with his manliness, making her arch up to him in sweet abandon in the most joyful act she had ever experienced. There seemed no limit to her ecstasy as he filled her hard and deep. She could not get over the fact that she wanted him, that she was enjoying this act, that she wanted to take him and take him like some kind of harlot.
The ecstasy of finally being inside Marybeth MacKinder Rivers was more than Josh could handle, especially after going so long without a woman. His life spilled into her sooner than he would have liked. He shuddered with the ecstasy of the deep relief. He rested on his elbows then, still on top of her, breathing deeply, kissing her eyes.
“I’m sorry. I wanted it to last longer for you. I know you were enjoying it, and I wanted that for you more than anything.” He kissed her gently.
“Oh, Josh,” she whispered, reaching around his neck and drawing him to her. “What was it you did to me? The way you touched me, it was so beautiful. It was just like you said it would be—that I would take pleasure in it, too.”
He frowned, wondering if she meant Dan MacKinder had never touched her first, never brought out her own needs and desires. But he didn’t want to mention the name tonight. He didn’t want her to think about the bad times.
“Was I all right?” she was asking. “Did I please you?”
He couldn’t help a light laugh. “Marybeth, did I seem like I wasn’t enjoying it?” He could see her blush, even in the dim lamplight. “For someone who didn’t think she even wanted to do this tonight, it happened awful fast,” he teased.
Her eyes widened. “Oh, dear God, what must you think?”
He grinned. “I think you’re wonderful, beautiful, more woman than I thought you would be. And I think I want to do this all over again.” He kissed her. “I want you to enjoy and enjoy, all night, Mrs. Rivers.” He kissed her again, running his tongue over her lips seductively. “I want you to know all the best things about being a woman, and I’ll be enjoying the best things about being a man.”
He raised up and pulled off his longjohns, and for the first time in her life she wanted to look at that part of him that had always frightened her with Dan. He was beautiful. She never thought she would enjoy looking at a naked man, or that she would delight in letting a man remove her last remnant of clothing as Josh did now. She sat up as he pulled the gown over her head.
“God, you’re beautiful, Marybeth.” She lay back down and closed her eyes, moving her fingers into his thick hair as he bent down to caress her breasts with his lips. His tongue moved over a nipple, and his mouth came around it, making her gasp in ecstasy. She had wanted this, yet never dreamed it was going to be this wonderful. Before she had only hoped it could be beautiful, imagined it. Now it was real. She whispered his name as his lips kissed and caressed, moving to the other breast, moving over her belly, lightly kissing at private places Dan MacKinder had only ravaged and abused. It was just like he had promised, beautiful, gentle, enjoyable.
In moments he was moving inside of her again, this time more slowly, with deliberate circular motions that made her wild with desire. He raised up, massaging her breasts, drinking in her beauty as he took her. She didn’t mind his looking at her; Dan had always made her feel dirty. Josh Rivers made her feel beautiful, made her understand it was all right to want and enjoy a man, made her want to please him. Her joy knew no bounds.
She grasped his muscular forearms, remembering the day of the fight, remembering John MacKinder out cold on his back. Josh Rivers had done that. He had done it because John had hurt her. She was safe with Josh. He didn’t buckle under men like John MacKinder. He knew what he wanted, and he took it, yet she gave it so willingly. He had tricked her into this bed, but she didn’t mind. She was Mrs. Joshua Rivers now, in every way, and for the
first time she was glad she had come to America.
Dawn broke with the sound of birds chirping, and Danny pulling himself to his knees and looking out over the side of the wagon at his sleeping mother. “Mama,” he said, grinning and showing two front teeth half grown in. He laughed a baby’s soft laugh and put a fist to his mouth for a moment, then reached out again, starting to pout. “Mama.”
Josh opened one eye and looked over at the boy, then gave him a little wave. Danny grinned and giggled. He plunked back down into the wagon and began sucking on the corner of a blanket. Josh studied Marybeth for a moment, wondering how a woman could look even more beautiful when her hair was tangled and her face puffy from sleep. He grinned at the thought of how surprised she had seemed that she had enjoyed their first intercourse. How many more times had they made love after that? He wasn’t sure. He only knew he couldn’t get enough of her, and he took great pleasure and manly pride in the fact that she had enjoyed it as much as he. He kissed her cheek. “Marybeth.”
“Mmmm,” she murmured, turning to him.
“Danny’s awake. I think he’s hungry.”
She stretched and opened her eyes, studying him for a moment as though not realizing at first where she was. Then she smiled.
“Good morning, Mrs. Rivers.”
“Good morning, Mr. Rivers.”
“How about feeding me before you feed your son?”
She reddened and looked over at Danny, who seemed content for the moment. She looked back at Josh, reaching up and touching his tangled hair. “Whoever is the hungriest,” she answered softly.
He bent down, lightly kissing her breast, drawing forth her desires all over again. Their bodies were warm and soft from sleep. He moved down, kissing her belly, her thigh, her knee. He hooked his arms under her legs and drew them apart. She was warm and relaxed and didn’t mind that this time there had been no foreplay. She didn’t need it to want this. She could hardly believe she was giving herself so openly, so brazenly, letting him touch and taste and explore and invade her in ways she once thought were ugly and painful.
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