The American Soldier Collection 8: She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Dixie Lynn Dwyer

  “And?” Vin asked, leaning back in his chair.

  “Seno was upset when he got home last night. It seems that Ellie’s ex started texting and calling her. She was supposed to stop in here this morning to fill out some paperwork for an order of protection.”

  Vin sat forward in his seat. “No way. Shit, that’s scary.”

  “You’re telling me. Whatever happened between her and this ex must have really been terrible. It’s why she’s resistant to us.”

  “It’s why she’s been resistant to dating anyone, Justice,” Vin said and then looked away from him.

  Justice knew that look. Vin knew something.

  “Okay, what do you know?”

  “Me?” Vin pointed to his own chest.

  “Yes, you. I know that look. Did Moira confide in you?”

  “Hey, I can’t divulge any information Moira may or may not have shared with me in confidence about the woman you and your brothers have your hearts set on bedding.”

  “Hey, first of all, this is more than just about ‘bedding,’ Ellie. You know that, so don’t even go there.”

  “How do I know that?”

  “Because you and your brothers have been our best friends for years. When have you ever seen the four of us so in tune and interested in the same woman?”

  Vin stared at Justice. “Okay, never.”

  “I rest my case.”

  “I’m still not going to break a promise.”

  “Why, because you’re afraid Moira will stop sleeping with you and your brothers?”

  “First of all, we haven’t taken our relationship to that level yet.”

  Justice raised his eyebrows at Vin. “The three of you have not taken her to bed yet?”

  “No, and to be honest, without breaking any sort of confidentiality clause between myself and Moira, she is hesitant to take our relationship to that level yet because of what happened to Ellie.”

  Justice ground hid teeth and sat forward in his seat. He looked around them to be sure no one could hear.

  “It’s that bad?”

  “Listen, I didn’t get the details, just bits and pieces from Moira that indicate the situation was intense and very scary for all of them. I do know that Ellie wound up in the hospital for weeks. She was in counseling up to a month ago. Moira, Donella, and Jessie needed to talk to someone, too. Those four women are close.”

  Justice rubbed his chin and whispered to Vin. “What do my brothers and I do to help her to see that we would never hurt her, and that she can trust us?”

  Vin took a deep breath and then released it.

  “I guess all you can do is be patient. If you really care about her, that trust will come. The desire and attraction will be so strong, none of the other stuff will be as powerful.”

  “God, I want to know what happened to her.” He glanced at the computer screen.

  Vin sat forward. “Don’t do it. Don’t look up the case, or Ellie will find out, and that trust you’re trying so hard to build will explode in your face.”

  “Fuck.” Justice ran his fingers through his hair and stared at Vin. “When the hell did you become the guru of relationships?”

  Vin chuckled and then raised his knuckles and blew over his fingernails in a pompous manner. “Some of us just have it, and others don’t.”

  Justice shook his head.

  * * * *

  He waited, watching the illegal deliveries go in and out of the warehouse. It was hard to concentrate on the players when all he kept thinking about was her. She came as such a surprise to him, yet she had seemed to be right in front of him for far too long. The moments they shared he cherished. Ties when he couldn’t resist so he touched her with thoughts of that moment when they would be one.

  The sight of her long brown hair, the sweet smile, and the way her body attracted so many. It pissed him off, made him want to extend his list and end this madness.

  He pulled the daisy from the fresh bouquet of flowers. He pressed it under his nose and inhaled then smiled as he thought of her. His desire to have her, make love to her, was overpowering. He needed another. Someone who could satisfy the urge building so deeply in his groin and in his heart.

  He looked down at the iPad and watched the surveillance video. He needed to do something, and get to her, make her see that he was the right man and no other. Who was that man walking her out of her office last night? His heart hammered inside his chest. Hadn’t she learned yet, that he was the only one for her?

  He looked back at the daisy and began to pull the white petals from the lovely flower.

  “She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not, she loves me…”

  * * * *

  Ellie tried to make excuses to get out of going to the self-defense class since Moira went the night before, but her roommates wouldn’t have it. Even Unc called and told her to go and that he wanted to hear all about what she learned tomorrow at lunch.

  As she entered the training room, she saw a lot of women heading toward one room with some guys dressed in matching black T-shirts. To the left she saw Mace and Hunter. They were talking to a few women with three other men.

  Hunter saw her first and waved, then Mace. They waved her over as the other three men walked with the three women to the center of the mat.

  “So glad you made it,” Mace said, giving her a kiss on the cheek. Hunter kissed her next, and her nerves about whether they would be upset with her disappeared. Now she felt like some lustful woman who had the hots for her two instructors. This could be disastrous.

  “Are you ready to learn some basics?” Hunter asked her.

  “I guess so. Just take it easy on me. The only workouts I’m used to are jogging and some kickboxing classes.”

  Hunter raised his eyebrows up at her. “We can incorporate that into some moves, no problem. Come on. We’re going to use the other room. These mats are being used by the regulars.”

  As she followed them into the other room, their size and their extra large bodies became her mind’s and her eyes’ focus. Considering that most of the time they had spent together she was wearing high-heeled shoes, right now both men towered over her and she was worried about how intimidating it felt.

  As they started talking with her, setting up some scenarios she thought she could handle, that bit of anxiety and fear started to bubble in her gut.

  “Okay, first of all we need to see instinctually what you would do and how you would react in a series of different situations. That being said, don’t think of it as friendly and that you know us. Pretend you don’t know us. We’re strangers, and you need to protect yourself. Got it?” Hunter asked, and she looked at both of them.

  “You’re both not going to attack, are you?” she asked. Mace stood back with his arms crossed in front of that sexy big chest of his. The muscles in his upper arms were stretching the material making it roll up slightly. They both had rock-hard abs. She could tell because she was so close to them.

  “We’re going to simulate an attack to see your response. Okay, let’s go over the first scenario.” Mace had her focus on him as Hunter did something behind her. Mace told her what to do and that she was walking from her office to her car at night, and the parking lot lights were dim.

  As she began to walk, she sensed someone behind her, and when she turned to look, there was Hunter wearing a hoodie, he grabbed her from behind and she automatically used her elbow to thrust into his gut and then turned out of his arms.

  “Very good. Perfect. You immediately retaliated, you got out of his hold, but the only thing you didn’t do was scream for help and then take off. You need to draw attention to yourself. Get out of his hold, scream, and run,” Mace stated.

  She felt her throat clogging up, and she tried to push bad memories out of her head. This was practice, a way to prepare to defend herself if someone went after her. Would Paul come after me again? Could I stop him from hurting me, taking what he wanted, raping me?

  They went over a few other
scenarios, and each time she used a move she knew or one they taught her. Every time Hunter or Mace showed her the steps to the moves where they had to press their bodies against her and show her step-by-step, it was difficult to follow. Somehow she did and she started to feel comfortable with them.

  “Okay, now we’re going to try something different. A little bit scarier,” Mace stated.

  “Like what?” she asked, looking to each of them, and then Hunter walked over toward a basket and pulled something out.

  “What do you do if the person attacking has a weapon?”

  “Cooperate?”

  “If they mean to kill you and you have a chance at escaping, what do you do?”

  “Whatever I need to in order to escape?”

  “Exactly.”

  Ellie took a deep breath and prepared for another mock attack from Hunter. However, this time when he approached from behind and she countermoved, she saw the knife, and freaked out. “Okay, we’re done.” She started walking quickly toward the bench where she threw down her sweatshirt and bag.

  “Whoa, what are you doing? We’re not finished,” Mace stated. She didn’t want to fight with them but also didn’t want to face the feelings this situation brought on.

  “Ellie, it’s okay to be afraid. Lots of women become anxious, uncomfortable even, with this type of scenario. But if you can just push through that, it could save your life,” Mace told her as Hunter stood next to him, still holding the knife.

  “Could you put that away please?”

  “It’s not real.”

  “It looks real.”

  “It isn’t. Look at it.” Hunter lowered his hand palm forward with the knife sitting there for her to take.

  She shook her head.

  “I know that knives scared you. You mentioned that at the party. I just remembered.”

  “Why does it scare you so much?” Hunter asked.

  “Don’t, Hunter.”

  “Don’t what?” he asked, stepping closer. She looked down and felt so compelled to explain, yet fearful of his reaction. Of their reactions. She stared at the loose-fitting pants Hunter wore, and she could see that he was wearing a prosthetic device. One leg looked thicker than the other. But with his big muscles and tattoos bursting from his shirt, she could only focus on how attracted she was to him. She glanced at Mace, stern, crew cut hair, blue eyes and muscles galore, the man looked like a weapon. This gave her more anxiety she didn’t know how to redistribute to a positive aspect.

  Hunter pressed his fingers under her chin encouraging her to look up at him.

  She locked gazes with his green eyes.

  “Seno told us about the order of protection, and how your ex is bothering you again.”

  Her eyes widened.

  “It’s okay. We’re pissed off, and we’re worried. Maybe we pushed a little too much for you to learn some moves today that you’re not ready for,” Mace added. She couldn’t believe this. They thought they were at fault for her anxiety and freaking out. They were trying to help her.

  “No, it wasn’t that. I was fine until the knife, Hunter.” She sat down on the bench. Mace knelt down in front of her and placed his hand on her knee. The tingling feeling from where his palm touched all the way to her pussy had her adjusting her position on the bench. Hunter took a seat next to her and kept his one leg stretched out straight.

  “Why such a fear? Did your ex carry a knife, or threaten you with one?” Mace asked, and she felt as if a ball were lodged in her throat. She couldn’t go on like this. She liked them both. She liked Justice and Seno as well. Each of them had characteristics she wanted in a man, a mate. She didn’t want to blow the chance at something special.

  “I haven’t spoken to anyone about it except for the counselor the doctor suggested.” She clasped her hands together and stared at her lap and then looked at Mace.

  “I know you collect knives. I wouldn’t ask you to stop doing that because of me, but knives scare me. I was attacked months ago and my attacker used a knife to get me to cooperate.”

  “Oh Jesus, baby. I’m so sorry,” Mace said, squeezing her knee and then moving up to sit beside her.

  Hunter placed his arm behind her shoulders and she leaned back. She looked at him.

  “Where were you attacked?” he asked.

  She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. She could do this. She could give them some details, just not all of them.

  “Late at night, in my bedroom.”

  His green eyes suddenly looked darker, his hand clutched her shoulder.

  “Baby, you were—”

  She nodded her head and he stopped talking and ran his hand over his face. Mace placed his hand against her cheek and she looked at him. He seemed genuinely upset.

  “No wonder you’ve been scared to let us touch you.”

  “I want you to,” she blurted out, and Mace squinted his eyes at her. She looked at Hunter and he held the same serious expression. She looked back at Mace.

  “I haven’t been with anyone since it happened. I honestly never met anyone I wanted to be intimate with, until I met you and your brothers. That scares me for a whole lot of other reasons that even if I hadn’t been attacked and assaulted I would surely still feel.”

  “It is a bit of a different relationship, Ellie, but it’s also very special. Four men to cater to your every whim, and to protect you, care and provide for you,” Hunter whispered as he caressed her neck by her ear.

  She looked down at her hands.

  “I want that. I want to feel safe and protected, loved and cherished. I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I think that’s what scares me about liking you and your brothers.”

  “What’s that?” Mace asked.

  “I’m afraid that I’ll want too much. That I’ll become dependent on each of you and lose myself, my identity, and perhaps fail at recognizing the signs that say it’s over and the trust is lost.”

  “Baby, there are no guarantees in life. But isn’t it better to try, to see where it leads, and perhaps have faith that the bond formed grows over time and nothing can break it?” Mace asked her.

  “How do I do that? How do I take a chance when I’m so fearful?” Hunter placed his hand against her cheek. She locked gazes with him.

  “I know exactly how you feel. That fear of failing, of never feeling whole again? I get it. I’ve been there. Hell, I’ve conditioned myself to not think or remember what it was like to have both legs. I’ve learned to deal with it, to overcome any obstacles or stereotypes that are out there because of the need I had inside to be whole again. You can’t give up, or not even try to open your heart again because of the past.”

  She felt the tear roll down her cheek. He was so strong, so encouraging. “I wish I could be like you. Have your strength, your motivation and determination to succeed and to enjoy what life sends my way.”

  “You can do it. We’ve all faced obstacles in our lives. We’ve been scarred on the inside or even the outside, but we don’t give up,” Mace stated.

  She thought about what they were saying. They were so kind, so compassionate.

  “I guess there’s this feeling that you could hurt me, and the fact that there are four of you, and you are each so intimidating and filled with muscles, it adds to the fears I have.”

  “But we would never use our strength or our abilities to cause you pain or harm,” Hunter told her.

  “But the fear is there, Hunter. It’s right there making me remember the night I was attacked, and the fact that a man I trusted did what he did to me.”

  “Who attacked you, and forced themselves on you that night?” Hunter asked.

  “Paul, my boyfriend.”

  “Motherfucker,” Hunter exclaimed.

  “And this fucking guy is bothering you now? He’s the one you have the order of protection against?” Mace asked, standing up and running his fingers through his hair.

  “Please calm down. Please don’t do this. I need you to be calm and to understand.”
<
br />   Hunter took both of her hands into his own. He gave them a squeeze, indicating for her to look him in the eyes.

  “We will not let this asshole touch you. We’re going to work this out. We’re going to prove to you that with us is where you belong. That jerk broke the trust between you and corrupted it in the worse possible way. He is not a man. He’s a loser. We want you in our lives, and in our beds. We’ll fight for you, because you’re everything we’ve ever wanted and more.” He leaned forward and kissed her, taking her breath away and stealing her heart in a flash.

  * * * *

  Mace pulled Ellie into his arms and kissed her as Hunter opened her car door. The evening’s events had taken a crazy turn but seemed to have ended in a positive. She kissed him freely, went limp in his arms, and even moaned as he pressed her ass against him so she could feel how hard she made his cock. He wanted her with him or one of his brothers, not alone, not vulnerable to her asshole ex-boyfriend. There had to be something they could do to help her more.

  As he released her lips, she hugged him tight.

  Pulling back, she shyly looked at him and Hunter.

  “Sorry if I ruined your usual routine of teaching self-defense.”

  “Baby, tonight was the best session we ever had.”

  “Why is that?”

  “Because not only did we get to roll around with our sexy woman, but we also got to kiss you and move in the right direction toward progressing in this relationship,” Mace teased as he slid his palm along her ass and then her hips. She blushed as she swatted his hand away.

  “Call us as soon as you get home, okay?” Hunter pointed at her with authority.

  She smiled. “Yes, sir, I promise.” She then got into her car. After she pulled away, Hunter and Mace headed toward Mace’s truck.

  “We should follow her.”

  “And risk freaking her out?” Mace asked as they got into the truck.

  “I really don’t care. You heard her. Sure, she didn’t tell us everything but I got the gist of it. Her boyfriend breaks into her bedroom at night, holds her at knifepoint, beats her up, rapes her, and now that same asshole is stalking her. Fuck yeah, I think we should follow her home.”