The pain of her rejection hurt worse than he would have ever imagined. Her rationale had been simple, a reasonable excuse, and he found himself wanting to tell her the truth, that he was not going to India. In fact, when she had offered to listen, he had nearly told her everything. If it had not been for Miriam, the possibility was great that he would have let the truth slip. Whether it was fate or chance, he did not know, but the moment was gone forever. The effect remained to be seen.
What he found, strangely enough, was that he could not keep her beautiful face from his thoughts. However, her beauty was not the only thing that touched him. Her sharp mind would make any man happy one day, and how he wished it was he who would be the one. Nevertheless, she had been clear that he was not that man, and nothing he could say or do could change that.
“It is nearly one in the morning,” Miriam said from the doorway to the parlor, “and you are still awake?”
He gave her a nod and continued to stare out the window.
She came up beside him. “What is troubling you so greatly that you cannot sleep?”
He sighed. “I have been thinking of Miss St. Clair. Has anyone ever taken over your mind—your heart—so much so you cannot stop thinking about them?”
“Yes,” Miriam replied. “I know the feeling all too well.”
“I’m not sure why I think of her so often. She refused my attempts to win her over, so I am well aware that I have no chance with her.” He sighed. “Perhaps it’s my failure that keeps me awake.”
Miriam placed her hand on his arm. “You are not a failure, Daniel,” she said quietly. “In fact, you are a man of wisdom, heart, and courage.”
He laughed. “Courage? If there is one thing I do not possess, that would be it.”
“Does it not take courage to do what we do?”
He considered this for a moment and then gave a nod. “I suppose it does at that.”
“Your heart is great, for even though that woman has refused you, you still take the blame onto yourself. Do not do it anymore; it is not worth the heartache.”
“You are right,” he said. “Though I do not think it was her refusal of me alone that bothers me. She told me she believed I hold a secret, and I found myself wanting to reveal it.”
Miriam took his arm and led him to the wine cart. Setting out two glasses, she poured. “It was not for you to tell her. Consider what would have happened if you had. Would it have made the situation any better?”
“I suspect you are right,” he said, taking the glass from her. “It would only fuel her anger with me all the more.” Although he said the words, a part of him did not believe them. That was the part that wanted him to tell the truth, to expose everything to her. Yet there was too much to be lost if he did.
“Yes, it would anger her,” Miriam said as she took a seat in one of the high-backed chairs by the fireplace. “If you did, the secret would be out, thus leading you into ridicule and shame. I’m not sure you could handle all that would fall down around you.” She raised an eyebrow. “I can return to a farm and still be the daughter of a farmer; you cannot.”
He chuckled. “No, I suppose I could not, though I have often wondered what it would be like to live on a farm.”
Miriam walked over to him, slipped her arm through his, and rested her head on his shoulder. “Oh, my friend, trust me. The sights, the smells…the people of the ton do not know the fun we have on a farm. I could show you this fun if you’d like.”
Daniel laughed and shook his head. Moments before, he was sad, and yet Miriam had once again stepped up and was the friend he needed. He was thankful for her kindness and oftentimes wished he could somehow repay it.
“And what makes you smile so?” she asked.
“I was just thinking how fortunate I am to have a friend like you. You are kind, caring, and supportive. If you decide to stop being a spinster, you will make a man very happy one day.”
“Well, that day may come around one day. Until then, I will be by your side to keep you happy for as long as you wish.”
“I do wish that.”
The two friends continued to drink, and their conversation turned to the coming weeks and months.
When the bell rang two, he yawned. “I suppose I should go to bed.”
“Yes,” Miriam replied. “Tomorrow night will be upon us soon enough, and we must be well-rested.” She brought her hands up to his face and flickered her eyelashes at him. “Are you ready, my handsome man?”
“Yes, my love,” he said. “For our love is strong and shall guide us for eternity.”
***
“I’m unsure,” Isabel’s mother said, the doubt clear in her tone.
Elizabeth had arrived an hour earlier, and Isabel was meant to go stay with her friend for three days. The plans had been in place beforehand, and her parents had already approved of them. Now, however, her mother showed a sudden doubt that made Isabel feel as if she were a child. “Your father and I will be out at the home of Lord Bertram. Perhaps you should be there as well.”
“But, Mother, spending time at Lord Bertram’s can be such a bore. What would I do there?”
Elizabeth chimed in. “If I have done something to cause you to doubt me, I beg your forgiveness.”
“Oh, no, never!” Isabel’s mother said emphatically. Then she let out a sigh. “Very well. Isabel, be on your best behavior and do as Lord and Lady Haddington say.”
“Of course, Mother,” Isabel replied with indignation. It was not as if she and Elizabeth had some sort of wild idea to sneak out of the house. She simply preferred to spend time with her friend than attend a dinner where everyone was at least twice her age.
She picked up her carpetbag and headed to the front door, her mother continuing her tirade of what they must and must not do, as if Isabel had no idea how to conduct herself outside of her own home. Would her mother never see her as more than a simple child?
It was just after midday, and thankfully the rain had cleared. The sun greeted them as they stood on the stoop of the townhouse, and Isabel closed her eyes and allowed the rays to warm her face and the air of freedom to relax her body.
“Isabel!” her mother snapped. “Do pull down the brim of your hat. You’ll freckle.” Then she turned to Elizabeth. “Say hello to your parents for me. I do hope to see them soon.”
“I am sure you will,” Elizabeth said and then turned to Isabel. “We should be going. Mother will be upset if we’re late.”
Before she could respond, her mother agreed for her, and then Isabel found herself inside the carriage, the door closing behind her.
As the carriage moved forward, Isabel listened to the sounds of the city around her. Once they were a fair distance from the townhouse, she sighed heavily and then smiled at her friend. “It is good to see you,” she said. “I feared Mother was not going to allow me to leave. She and father have grown stricter the older I’ve become.”
“It is your virtue they fear you losing,” Elizabeth said with a firm nod.
Isabel gasped. “They could not believe I would…” She allowed her voice to trail off. Ladies simply did not discuss such things.
“No, of course not,” Elizabeth said with a laugh. “However, that is how old people such as our parents think. They fear a woman will be lost in love and make some sort of horrible decision.” She leaned in and lowered her voice as if someone else could hear. “I must admit, I would allow Benjamin Forthright to kiss me if he asked.”
Isabel giggled. “Did you speak to him before you left for London?”
“No,” Elizabeth sighed. “Though I hope he will be waiting for me when I return.” She continued with the typical litany of her love for the man, which Isabel had heard numerous times before. Then she asked a question that caught Isabel by surprise. “Do you still think of the Baron?”
“Lord Charmain?” Isabel said with a laugh. “I do not. Well, that is, not in that way.”
Elizabeth tilted her head. “Oh?”
“Much has ha
ppened in the time since we last met. You see, our carriage became stuck in the mud…” Isabel shared the story of her encounter with Lord Charmain, how the man had helped them—she thought about omitting the fact that she had fallen, but decided the entire truth would be best—and finished with the walk along the River Thames. “I have been to three parties and two dinners since then, and I cannot seem to keep the man from my thoughts.”
Elizabeth laughed. “So, you find him handsome?”
“Yes, of course he’s handsome,” Isabel said, though she felt that now familiar heat in her cheeks. “But he is not the adventurous, kind soul I need. It’s why I had to refuse his offer to come to call.”
It became quiet, and Isabel glanced out the window. Some time had passed, and they were entering an area she had never seen before. The homes were not as grand as her own, and the people not as finely dressed.
Before she could comment, Elizabeth said, “I believe you have fallen in love with him, and you are too stubborn to realize it.”
“You do like to be humorous,” Isabel said in reply. Then she glanced out the window again. “Where are we going? This is not the way to your house.”
Elizabeth smiled. “It is not. Today we are going on a grand adventure.”
“An adventure? To where?”
A twinkle in the woman’s eye had Isabel curious—and a little worried. The last time she had that look, they had landed in a hut on a tiny island in a rowboat belonging to Elizabeth’s grandfather when they were both twelve. If her parents had learned about that little outing, they would have never allowed Isabel to remain friends with Elizabeth.
“We are going to a pub!” Elizabeth squealed. “Then, later tonight, we will attend a play at the Royal Theater!”
Isabel felt her heartbeat quicken. “But your mother expects us back at your home.”
Elizabeth leaned back in her seat and gave Isabel a haughty look. “My parents have left and will not return until late.”
“They have allowed you to go out alone?”
“Of course not,” Elizabeth replied with a laugh. “I told them I was staying at your home for the night.”
“Elizabeth!” Isabel said, shocked at her friend’s words. “Do you realize the trouble you can cause for both of us? If we are caught, the shame would be…” Isabel could not find the word to express how shameful it would be she was in such shock.
“Great,” Elizabeth finished for her. “Our shame would be great. I realize that. Let me ask you something, and I want you to be honest.”
“Of course.”
“Your parents want you to marry, and we know it will be who they choose. Am I correct in saying so?”
Isabel shook her head. “No. It is my decision.” When she saw the severe look on her friend’s face, however, she relented. “Yes, you are correct.”
“If we are caught, which I doubt we will be, your fate will still be the same. They will still pick your groom and control your life. But now is your one chance to do something for yourself.”
The carriage came to a stop and Isabel felt her stomach tighten. “I don’t know.”
The driver opened the door, and Elizabeth said, “The choice is yours. If you truly do not want to do this, we will leave now. But think about what fun we can have. I doubt we will ever have such an occasion as this!”
Isabel studied Elizabeth’s face and then looked outside. Her friend was right; this was a moment she could do something for herself and not simply what her parents ordered her to do.
“Come. For once do something that can make you happy. No one will know us or see us, not here. Have one day to yourself before you are married off and forced to live a life of misery with someone you more than likely will not love.”
Isabel thought about her friend’s words and knew they were true. Even her parents had confirmed her position in life would be to produce children and mind them while her husband enjoyed his life. Perhaps today would be the only day she would have a chance to be happy.
Summoning her courage, Isabel gave a nod of acceptance and then both women exited the vehicle, one alighting as if off to fulfill dreams, and the other with great reluctance. However, beneath that reluctance, Isabel felt a seed of excitement grow in her. She would enjoy this night and hold it close to her forever no matter the consequences. Elizabeth was right; this could be her only chance to experience a life she might never be able to experience again.
Chapter Nine
With a rapid heartbeat and heavy legs, Isabel followed Elizabeth in through the heavy door of the pub, which closed with a bang behind her. They entered a long narrow space with a counter that ran along the length of one wall and a line of stools in front of it. Opposite the bar was a row of square tables and benches attached to the wall behind them. At the far end, Isabel could just make out an area closed off by a low wall where more tables sat.
An acrid smell of ale filled Isabel’s nose, and she had to stop herself from grimacing. That would be just plain rude.
The pub was filled with the sounds of laughter and conversation of the patrons sitting at the various tables and along the counter with large mugs in front of them, and Isabel could not help but be worried.
“We are out of place, here,” Isabel whispered in Elizabeth’s ear. “I fear we will be robbed.” It was true. They were the only people dressed with any semblance of finery in the entire place.
“Do not worry,” Elizabeth said. “I have been here before. There’s nothing to fear.”
“I suppose I can only trust you.” Indeed, no one seemed to pay them much heed, which surprised her. If someone dressed in the plain clothing these people wore had entered any of the finer establishments frequented by the higher classes, they would have been tossed out on their ear. Yet, these people gave them not a second look. Well, perhaps a second look, but nothing more. It was as if they did not care that someone of the upper class had invaded their space.
Elizabeth laughed. “Come on, we will get something to drink.” She walked up to the bar and tapped on it.
“And what can I get ye?” a man in a white apron said. He had a scar on his face that gave him a permanent scowl. “If ye be wantin’ wine, we ain’t got that fancy stuff from Paris.”
“That will not be necessary,” Elizabeth said. “We only require two pints of your finest ale.”
“Is that right?” the man asked with a chuckle. “Then pints it’ll be.”
Isabel leaned over to her friend, doing her best to avoid the sticky countertop, and said, “Pints? Ale? Oh, Elizabeth, what have you gotten us into?” Why had she decided to go along with her friend’s ludicrous plan? It was all so overwhelming, and more than a bit disconcerting. If anyone recognized them….
“You worry too much,” Elizabeth replied. “Trust me. You will enjoy the ale; you’ll find it is a nice alternative to wine.” Ale better than wine? Her friend had definitely gone mad!
A moment later, the host returned with their drinks, which sloshed over the top of the mug when he set them down. So, that was what caused the tackiness from which she had pulled away.
Elizabeth gave the man a few coins, which he placed in his pocket before moving to another patron. How on earth did the man know which person was next to be served? There were so many people waiting, she would have been lost by her third patron if she were the barkeeper!
Isabel followed Elizabeth through the crowd to an empty table in the corner. The chairs seemed sturdy and clean enough, but she took out a handkerchief and swiped at the seat before sitting in it. The tabletop was as sticky as the counter had been, and Isabel placed her hands in her lap to keep them clean. Despite the lack of cleanliness, everyone around her seemed a happy crowd.
At a table beside her, a man in his middle years with a heavy beard showed her a gap-filled smile, and Isabel nudged the chair closer to her table to move further away from him. He shrugged and returned to his drink and his conversation with the man across from him, though Isabel could not make out the words even from
this distance.
Elizabeth nudged her and pointed at the mug on the table. “Go on. Try it.”
Isabel gave the ale a skeptical look and then picked it up to smell it. It had a strange smell of barley, but it was not a horrible smell. Then she took a sip.
“Well? What do you think?”
“It…it’s delicious!” Isabel exclaimed. She found the flavor to be strong, yet it ran down her throat smoothly, and it did not have the burning that brandy or sherry tended to have. “It’s not a sweet as many wines, but it has a bold flavor, a somewhat oakiness to it.” She was not sure ‘oakiness’ was a true word, but it was the only one she could think to describe what she tasted. She took a longer drink and smiled. “Yes, I believe I could enjoy this very much.”
Isabel sat back in the chair and watched the people around her. They were quite animated, much more so than those of the ton at the parties she had attended. One man even pinched the bottom of the barmaid, who turned around and soundly slapped him across the face. Rather than becoming angry, the man laughed and tried to pinch her again!
“Is she safe?” Isabel asked with a gasp. “The men are like wolves here!”
“Oh, my innocent friend,” Elizabeth said as she patted Isabel’s hand, “you must remember that those of means do not behave as we do. Their rituals of attraction are far different. Here, the men kiss women out in the open, and it becomes a game.”
“I never knew you understood so much about them,” Isabel said before drinking the remainder of her ale as she had seen one of the men do. “You amaze me.” Then she hiccupped. She covered her mouth with her hand, embarrassment coursing through her. “I’m sorry. That was…”
“Oh, I would not worry! Look at where we are. Hiccup as you will!”
For some reason, Isabel found this quite humorous, and she began to laugh. Not the demure laugh of a member of the ton, but a true, bold laugh of a person happy to be where she was.
“I believe I will procure more ale for us to drink,” Elizabeth said as she took the mugs in hand and wandered off. Perhaps the ale had some effect, for Isabel could not stop herself from smiling, and for the first time in a very long time, she felt happy.
The Baron's Charade (Regency Stories Book 3) Page 6