by Joan Jonker
‘That’s a relief.’ Jack had been reading Ruthie a bedtime story. The little girl was curled up on his knee, her thumb in her mouth, her eyes drowsy. ‘I’ll just finish “Simple Simon”, then I think a certain person will be ready for bye-byes.’
Molly surveyed the state of the room with dismay. Everywhere she looked there were bits of paper and material. ‘Oh, my God! I warned yer about the mess, Doreen, now get it cleared, quick!’
Maureen moved as though she’d been shot out of a gun. ‘I’ll pick the bits up, Doreen, while you clear the table.’
‘I’ll help.’ Jill got down on her knees and held her hands out. ‘Pass the bits to me, Maureen, and I’ll put them on the fire.’
‘What’s the hurry?’ Doreen asked, carefully folding the pieces of material that had been cut out and were still pinned to the pattern. ‘There’s no one comin’, is there?’
‘If yer ever bothered listenin’ to me when I talk to yer, yer’d ’ave heard me say that Corker has asked yer dad and Mr McDonough to go for a drink with ’im. An’ Nellie an’ Ellen are comin’ here for a jangle. So get crackin’, Doreen, an’ less of the lip.’
Doreen was disappointed. She had hoped to have all the dress cut out tonight, then she could have started tacking the pieces together tomorrow. ‘I suppose you want us out of the way, too?’
‘Yer suppose right, sunshine.’ Molly thought she’d never seen anyone move as quick as Maureen. In no time at all the floor was as clean as a whistle. ‘If yer ask yer dad nicely, he might mug yez to the pictures.’
Doreen cheered up. ‘Will yer, Dad?’ When Jack nodded, she gave Maureen a slap on the back. ‘We can go an’ see Clark Gable on the Broadway, isn’t that the gear?’
‘Mam, I don’t have to go out, do I?’ Jill tilted her head, her blue eyes pleading. ‘I don’t feel like moving.’
‘It won’t be very exciting for yer, sunshine, listenin’ to three old cronies gossipin’.’
‘I don’t mind,’ Jill said. ‘I can always read a book or something.’
‘Suit yerself, but don’t say I didn’t warn yer.’
Doreen and Maureen linked arms for warmth as they walked briskly down the street. ‘I hope we don’t ’ave to queue up,’ Maureen said, ‘it’s too flippin’ cold to stand around.’
‘I know, me feet are freezin’ as it is.’ They turned into the main road and Doreen spotted a bus in the distance. ‘Come on, run for it.’
There was only one person at the bus stop and he was stepping on to the platform as they approached, shouting to the conductor to wait for them.
‘Come on, girls, yer’ll be late for yer dates.’ The conductor grinned, showing a line of yellow teeth. He blew into his cupped hands then rubbed them together for warmth. ‘Two good-lookin’ girls like you, I bet yez ’ave loads of fellers after yez.’
Doreen had got her breath back by this time. ‘We do all right,’ she said airily. ‘Is there room on top?’
The conductor nodded. ‘Yeah, there’s only one bloke up there. Bus is nearly empty. Most people ’ave got more sense than to come out on a cold night like this.’
‘Shall we pay yer now, save yer climbing the stairs?’ Doreen handed over a threepenny joey and a penny piece. ‘Two, please.’
The conductor threw the coins into the leather bag at his side before turning the handle of the ticket dispenser strapped to his waist. As Doreen listened to the creak of the handle and the click as the tickets rolled out, she was reminded of the time their Tommy had been given a bus conductor’s set for Christmas. He’d driven them all mad with it, asking them to sit on chairs and pretend they were passengers on a tram. They’d give him a button, he’d click a ticket out, then walk around the room shouting, ‘Fares, please! Next stop Great Homer Street.’ He was devastated when the cheap toy broke, but the rest of the family breathed a sigh of relief.
‘Hold on to yer tickets,’ the conductor shouted after them as they clambered up the stairs. ‘There’s an inspector on this route an’ he’s a right tartar.’
Maureen was first up the stairs and she made straight for the front seat. ‘Got the bus to ourselves except for a feller sittin’ at the back.’
Doreen was about to sit down when out of curiosity she glanced over her shoulder. ‘Steve!’ Without any more ado, she grabbed her friend’s hand. ‘Come on, let’s sit by Steve.’
‘Where are you two off to?’ He leaned an elbow on the back of their seat. ‘Got dates, have yer?’
‘Nah, we’re off to the flicks. Me dad mugged us to get us out of the way.’ Doreen banged her feet together to get the circulation running. ‘Are you meetin’ someone?’
Steve shook his head. ‘I’m goin’ to a mate’s house for a game of cards, nothin’ else to do.’
‘Come to the Broadway with us! It’s better than playin’ flippin’ cards.’
‘Doreen!’ Maureen gasped. This was her sister’s ex-boyfriend, surely she wasn’t setting her cap at him? ‘Don’t embarrass Steve!’
Doreen and Maureen usually told each other everything, but there was one secret Doreen had no intention of sharing. At least not yet. ‘Don’t be daft! Steve’s not embarrassed, are yer, Steve?’
‘Don’t worry, Maureen, I’m used to her.’ Steve smiled, hiding the hurt he felt. Doreen was growing so much like Jill, just looking at her was like a knife turning in his chest. ‘She couldn’t embarrass me if she tried.’
‘Will yer come with us then?’ Doreen asked. ‘Go ’ed, I dare yer! Keep us company.’
‘Oh, all right!’ There was method in Steve’s generosity. Perhaps Doreen would mention Jill, tell him how she was, if she ever mentioned him. ‘But behave yerselves.’
Doreen’s face beamed. ‘We’ve got a feller, Mo! We’ll share ’im, eh, an arm each?’
Molly pushed the table back against the sideboard. ‘Yer can pull the couch right round now, Nellie, in front of the fire.’
‘Shall I give yer a hand?’ Ellen asked. ‘It’s heavy.’
‘No, I can manage.’ And to prove it, Nellie put her backside to the heavy couch and it slid forward with ease. ‘It’s the way yer hold yer mouth, Ellen.’
Molly came through from the kitchen with three glasses in her hand. ‘It was thoughtful of Corker to bring us these bottles of stout. Even took the tops off in case we couldn’t manage.’ She started to pour the dark brown liquid into the glasses, stopping at intervals for the froth to subside. ‘I don’t know what you’re goin’ to have, Jill, unless yer fancy some lemonade.’
Jill was sitting in a chair by the window, Pride and Prejudice open on her knee. ‘It’s all right, Mam, I’ll make meself a cup of tea later.’
Molly passed glasses to Nellie and Ellen before sitting down. ‘This is nice, isn’t it? Should do it more often.’
‘Yeah, it’s just the job.’ Nellie always sat down with her knees pressed tightly together for decency. But after a while they parted company, for comfort. Tonight she was wearing pale blue knickers, and the further her legs parted, the more of her knickers she showed. But Nellie wasn’t one to worry about a little thing like that. She took a sip of the stout, leaving a moustache of froth on her top lip. ‘Pity Corker isn’t ’ome all the time, we’d get rid of our fellers more often.’
‘How’s the room lookin’, Ellen?’ Molly asked. ‘Corker said he’s only got the border to put up.’
‘I told ’im not to bother,’ Ellen’s eyes darted from one to the other, ‘’cos I’m thinkin’ seriously of moving.’
The silence that followed Ellen’s bombshell was so deep you could have heard a pin drop. Then Molly realised she was holding her glass sideways and the stout was trickling on to her dress. ‘Look what yer’ve made me do, Ellen, yer silly nit! Fancy comin’ out with a thing like that!’
‘I wasn’t joking, Molly, I mean it!’ Ellen glanced to where Jill was sitting, but the girl had her head bent, to all intents and purposes reading. ‘I’ve been thinkin’ of it ever since . . . ever since . . . you know, ever since
Nobby’s accident.’
Nellie tried to lean forward, but her stomach was in the way so she had to content herself with raising her voice. ‘What the ’ell d’yer want to move for? I thought yer were gettin’ on fine!’
‘Oh, I’m doin’ all right, thanks to Tony and you two. But I think I should get away for the children’s sake. They ’ave to put up with a lot from the kids round here an’ at school, about their father bein’ doolally.’ Ellen took a sip from the glass. ‘I thought if we started afresh, somewhere where no one knows us, it would be better for them.’
Molly watched the flames in the fire for a while, considering whether to say what she thought, or to mind her own business. But her feelings were too strong to ignore. ‘Has Corker got anythin’ to do with this?’
Ellen blushed. ‘Corker! What’s he got to do with it?’
‘Ellen, we’ve known each other too long to mess around. I think Corker’s got a lot to do with it! Be honest now, if it wasn’t for him, yer wouldn’t be thinkin’ about moving, would yer?’
‘I don’t know what yer mean! It’s got nothing to do with Corker!’
Nellie made another attempt to lean forward, but to no avail. So she pulled Ellen back until she was sitting on a level with her. ‘Come off it, Ellen, we weren’t born yesterday, yer know. I understand about the kids, but they’re only young, they’ll live it down. I agree with Molly, there’s got to be another reason. An’ if we’re right, then yer want yer flamin’ bumps feelin’.’
Ellen shifted uneasily. She looked so uncomfortable, Molly felt sorry for her. But things had to be said for her own good. ‘Ellen, it’s me an’ Nellie yer talkin’ to, not a couple of strangers. We only want what’s best for yer.’ Molly took a long drink before setting the glass down on the table. ‘Correct me if I’m wrong, but this is the way I see it. You an’ Corker are friends, he comes to your house, does jobs for yer and takes yer out. Perhaps he wants to be more than friends, but that’s nowt to do with anyone. I think you’re afraid that if yer stay here, tongues will start waggin’, and yer’ll be labelled a loose woman. Am I right, or am I wrong?’
‘We are only friends, Molly, honest! We’ve never done anythin’ to be ashamed of!’
‘Ellen, I wouldn’t give a toss if yez were livin’ tally! An’ neither would anyone else round here! Yer deserve a bit of happiness in yer life, an’ so do the kids. An’ Corker’s a good man, they don’t come any better than him. Am I right, Nellie?’
‘I agree with everythin’ yer’ve said, girl!’ Nellie nodded her head vigorously. ‘No one expects yer to live like a plaster saint, Ellen, not with the way Nobby is! Yer’ve got plenty of friends here, girl, so think hard ’cos yer might move away and live to regret it.’
Molly noticed Jill had given up all pretence of reading, and was sitting up straight, listening to all that was being said. That’s right, thought Molly, you listen, sunshine, because part of what I’m going to say applies to you as well as Ellen. ‘Yer’ve lived here a long time, Ellen, you know everyone and everyone knows and likes you. I’ve never heard a soul say anythin’ but good about yer. Stay with what yer know, Ellen, yer own kind of people. Stay in yer own backyard.’
By the time Molly had finished, the tears were rolling down Ellen’s face. ‘Molly, I wouldn’t half miss you an’ Nellie, yer like me own family. I’ve been at me wits’ end wonderin’ what to do for the best.’
‘The best thing yer can do is to stay put.’ Nellie was having trouble with the lump that had formed in her own throat. ‘Just forget all this nonsense about movin’, an’ get on with life. Believe me, nobody would give a tuppenny toss if Corker moved in with yer, lock, stock an’ barrel. In fact yer’d be the envy of every woman in the street.’ Nellie sniffed, rubbing the back of her hand across her nose. ‘So are we agreed that yer not goin’ anywhere, Ellen Clarke?’
Ellen nodded, afraid that if she opened her mouth, no words would come.
‘Right, then, that’s settled!’ Nellie passed her empty glass to Molly. ‘Fill it up to the brim, girl, an’ let’s get some life into this here party.’ She was watching the brown liquid rise in the glass when she suddenly burst out laughing.
Molly looked up in surprise. ‘What’s got into you, yer daft ha’porth?’
‘Yer can’t half talk well, girl!’ Nellie chuckled. ‘I particularly liked that bit about stayin’ in yer own backyard. It sounded real good, just one sentence that said it all! “Stay in your own backyard”. Yeah, I’ll ’ave to remember that, might come in useful one day.’
I hope a certain other person remembers it, too, Molly thought as she passed Nellie’s drink over. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Doreen ran her hands over her slim hips. ‘D’yer think it needs takin’ in a bit?’ She’d spent the whole day tacking her new dress together and was now showing off in front of her mother and sister. ‘Another inch, d’yer think?’
‘It’s tight enough,’ Molly tutted. ‘Any tighter an’ yer won’t be able to breathe.’
‘I think it’s just about right,’ Jill said. ‘It’s hard to tell until the hem’s been turned up because the skirt’s trailing on the floor. When the hem’s done, it’ll hang better.’
Jack wasn’t being asked his opinion, being a mere male, but he thought Doreen looked lovely. The soft green shade went well with her blonde colouring, and the style was perfect for the slim figure just starting to blossom into womanhood. He had two lovely daughters, no doubt about that. They were alike to look at, but had different natures. Jill was the more gentle of the two, would walk backwards to avoid a fight. Mind you, she took after him for that, he’d do anything for a quiet life. But Doreen was more outgoing, quicker with her tongue, just like her mother.
Thinking about Molly brought a frown to Jack’s face. She hadn’t been herself for the last week, and he couldn’t make her out. The sparkle had gone from her eyes, her sense of humour was in short supply and her temper easily roused. He’d pulled her up about it a few times but she fobbed him off, saying she was worried about her father. But Da was slowly getting better, so why were the worry lines on her face getting deeper?
‘Can I get the sewing machine out, Mam?’ Doreen asked. ‘I’m dying to see it finished.’
‘If I said no, yer’d have a right miserable gob on yer, so go ’ed. But no mess, mind yer, I’ve just cleared up.’
Doreen went into the kitchen to change into her blouse and skirt. When she came back with the green dress over her arm, there was a look on her face Molly knew only too well. Her daughter was after something. Molly didn’t have long to wait.
‘Mam, can I go to the Grafton on Saturday night, with Maureen? I can wear me new dress.’
‘I wondered what was comin’,’ Molly said. ‘Who else is goin’?’
‘Mike and Sammy,’ Doreen looked to her sister for support, ‘an’ you’ll come, won’t yer, Jill?’
‘I don’t think so.’ Jill shook her head. ‘I’m not as good a dancer as you and Maureen. And if Mike and Sammy are there, it would mean me playing gooseberry.’
‘Yer’ll never be able to dance if yer never try,’ Molly said gruffly. ‘Don’t want to stay in every night, do yer? Get out an’ enjoy yerself while yer can.’
This unexpected support brought a smile to Doreen’s face. ‘We wouldn’t leave yer on yer own, yer know that! An’ yer can wear yer blue dress.’
‘I agree with yer mam, love,’ Jack said, ‘get out and enjoy yerself. And yer won’t be short of partners, that’s a cert.’
‘Oh, all right.’ Jill tossed her head. ‘But only if me mam says we can stay out late. I don’t fancy dragging you off the dance floor before you’re ready to leave.’
‘As long as you’re with ’er, we don’t mind if yer a bit late gettin’ home, do we, Jack? Say half-eleven at the latest?’
‘Yippee!’ Doreen was over the moon. So far, so good.
The house was quiet, all the children were in bed, and J
ack was lighting his last cigarette before going upstairs. This was the time of day he looked forward to. The only time he and Molly could enjoy each other’s company without interruption. He threw the spent match away and studied his wife’s face as she gazed into the fire.
‘Now tell me what’s eating yer? And don’t tell me it’s because yer worried about Da, ’cos I’m not thick.’
Molly stared him out for several seconds, then shrugged her shoulders. ‘Okay, you asked for it. Don’t know why I’m keepin’ it to meself, anyway, ’cos it’s as much your worry as it is mine.’ A half smile crossed her face. ‘Oh, boy, are you in for a shock!’
Jack leaned forward, his voice impatient. ‘What is it, for heaven’s sake?’
‘I should ’ave started me monthly curse after me da went in ’ospital, but it didn’t arrive an’ still hasn’t.’
It took a while for it to sink in, then Jack laughed. ‘It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve been late, it’s happened loads of times.’
‘Jack, I’ve been a day or two late, but never over ten days. I didn’t tell yer before because I thought it was the shock of me da that did it, upset me whole system. But I can’t go on thinkin’ that, it would be stupid.’
He fell back in his chair. ‘Yer don’t think yer in the family way, do yer?’
‘What else am I supposed to think? We sleep together, we make love, that’s all yer need to make a baby.’ Molly clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. ‘There’s no need to sit there lookin’ sorry for yerself, you’re not the one in trouble, it’s me! And I’m worried stiff!’
‘Oh, love, I’m sorry.’ Jack went to stand behind her chair and wrapped his arms around her. ‘I hate to see you like this. But you could be wrong, yer know. With all the upset it could be delayed reaction.’ He kissed the top of her head. ‘Give it another week. If nothing’s happened by then go an’ see the doctor.’
‘I don’t want another baby, Jack, not just when we’re gettin’ on our feet.’ She tilted her head back to gaze into his eyes. ‘I know it sounds wicked an’ selfish, but I couldn’t start all over again with nappies an’ bottles, I’m past that now.’