by Cora Reilly
“Touch your clit,” Growl said.
This time I didn’t hesitate. My other hand came down and I pressed two fingers down on my clit. I moaned, but quickly clamped my lips together, embarrassed by the sound when Growl was watching me so closely. As if he could tell that I had trouble letting myself fall over the edge while he was watching, his gaze travelled down my body and he watched how our hands and fingers moved in sync to drive me closer to release. And then when it finally crashed down on me, everything fell out of focus and I let everything out even when Growl turned his eyes back to me. I couldn’t hold back, didn’t want to. I hadn’t even caught my breath when Growl pushed to his feet and started undressing. I didn’t think I’d ever get used to the sight of him naked. His tattoo, his scars, his muscles, all about him screamed danger, screamed stay away, and yet every cell in my body seemed to crave his closeness. His cock was already standing to attention and it intensified the prickling between my legs again. I knew what was coming now and I couldn’t wait. For a moment he stood in the middle of the room, admiring me. But, I, too couldn’t get enough of letting my eyes roam over his body. Would this ever stop?
When my eyes returned to his face, his expression almost made me moan. He staggered toward me and climbed on the bed. I waited for him to climb on top of me and fuck me. But he surprised me by lying flat on his back. Confusion drew my brows together but before I could ask what he was doing, he gripped my hips and lifted me on top of him, so I was straddling his hips. His tip pressed against my opening and a thrill shot through my body at the sensation. Growl’s hands on my waist tightened after a moment. Uncertainty flooded me. I wasn’t exactly sure how to do this, but I didn’t want to admit it aloud. Gathering my courage, I steadied myself against Growl’s rock-hard chest. Focusing on his muscles and not the intensity of his eyes, I slowly lowered myself on his cock. A long moan escaped my lips at the feel of his length sliding into me deeper than ever before. I exhaled slowly when he was all the way in and I sat comfortably on top of him. I’d never felt this full before. It was incredible.
Growl moved his hips upwards a few inches and my eyes flew up to his. There was strain in his face. I smiled and his eyes flashed. Digging my nails into his chest the way he liked it, I lifted myself slowly, letting his cock glide out of me. I focused on tensing my inner muscles to make it even more intense for Growl, wanting to drive him to the brink of insanity. He gave my butt a light clap, making my eyes go wide and a surprised gasp, followed by a laugh slipped out of my mouth.
There was something close to playfulness in his expression. I started moving faster. My butt cheeks accidentally brushed his balls and he exhaled sharply. I faltered, unsure if that was a good sign but one look at his face erased all of my worries. He liked it. A lot.
I twisted my hips, making sure to press my butt against his balls every time I lowered myself. Growl’s breath grew faster and the low growls I adored came from deep in his throat again. My own body tightened in anticipation of an orgasm, and when I leaned forward slightly, my clit brushed his pubic bone and I came apart. My fingers dug even deeper into his skin and I moved faster, pushing my own orgasm into new heights. And then Growl’s body shuddered beneath me and I felt him release into me, teasing my tender inner walls even more. I cried out, throwing my head back. “Oh God,” I said.
When my heartbeat slowed, I opened my eyes and peered down at the man beneath me. He was watching me with surprise.
“What?” I said self-consciously.
Growl ran his finger over my breast, then slowly down my stomach until it came to rest over my clit. I shuddered, still too sensitive for his touch.
“This was the first time you were loud.”
My already hot face heated even more. “Loud?” I glanced toward the curtain-covered window, worried about the neighbors. Had they heard anything?
“Don’t worry about them. They don’t care if that bastard from across the street beats his wife to a bloody pulp. They won’t give a shit about you screaming your head off because you’re getting off.”
I stared at him. His dirty language still got me sometimes. But he was right. I’d lost count of the times I’d heard the woman from across the street scream, and nothing had ever happened.
Growl
Watching her touch herself was the hottest thing Growl had ever seen. God, he’d told other women to do the same thing for him but it had always looked false and wrong. But with Cara, she’d really let loose. She trusted him in bed. It was more than he deserved for sure.
He’d wanted many things in life. He’d wanted to possess, to destroy, to subdue. He’d never wanted to be kind to someone, or be with someone beyond the simple act of fucking. He’d fucked many women; none of them had meant anything to him. He didn’t despise women. He didn’t like them less than men. He just didn’t like humans in general. They were back-stabbing, disloyal creatures. That’s why he preferred the company of his dogs. They wouldn’t wait for him to sleep to kill him. If one of his Pitts wanted to kill him, he’d take his face off in the middle of the day. Growl liked it better that way.
Cara was sprawled on the bed beside him, her chest rising and falling rapidly, her peaked nipples even pinker than usual against her white skin. A few trickles of sweat trailed down her stomach and he had to stop himself from licking them off her skin. He needed to talk to her, not distract himself with another round of sex. Though the sight of her naked, finally without shame, made it hard to contain himself.
Cara turned her head, raising her eyebrows. “There’s a funny look on your face. Did I do something wrong?” Two pink spots appeared on her cheekbones and he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. He didn’t know why. He’d never done it. Never even thought about doing it. The forehead wasn’t a very interesting place for a kiss. Cara was turning him upside down, that was for sure. “You did nothing wrong.”
Surprise filled her pretty face. Even she didn’t understand why he’d done it, and she was usually good at emotions and human actions.
She put a hand on his chest. A small gesture that didn’t make sense either. Perhaps not everything had to make sense. “Are you alright?”
“I will help you,” he said firmly.
She blinked. “Help me?” Her hand against his skin began to tremble. “You mean with Falcone?”
Growl nodded. There was no turning back now. He’d made his decision and nothing would stop him. He’d die if necessary. She would be worth it. “I will help you get revenge.”
Cara
I couldn’t believe it. I’d hoped for it of course, dreamed about it. But it had seemed unlikely, impossible. Growl was Falcone’s man, his most feared assassin. How could I have changed that?
“So let me get this straight,” I said slowly, wanting to make sure that I wasn’t getting things wrong. “You want to help me get revenge, even though you never tried to get revenge for what Falcone did to you and your mother? Why? I don’t get it. You don’t even liked my father.”
Shut up, Cara. My mind was screaming at me, but I needed to know. I was starting to accept that for some reason part of me felt something for the man in front of me. And I needed to know if he did too.
“It’s not because of your father. I don’t care that he’s dead.” The words barely stung anymore. I’d gotten used Growl’s harsh words. He was honest, that was something I appreciated.
I propped myself up on my elbow and searched his face for answers. “Then why?” My voice was a bare whisper.
Growl’s amber eyes traced my face. “Falcone’s gone too far. You didn’t deserve what he did to you.”
“What do you mean?” I asked carefully, not sure where he was getting at.
“You were innocent. He punished you for something your father did. That’s not right.”
“And he punished you when you were a little boy for something your mother might have done, punished you for doing absolutely nothing. That should have been enough to make you want to kill him.”
“I always
wanted to kill him.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
“When I was a small boy, I would have killed him but back then I didn’t have the skills. And later when I had them, I felt obligated to him, for giving me the skills, for showing me what I could do. Without him, I wouldn’t be what I am today.”
“A monster? A killer? You could have become so much more, if he hadn’t killed your mother and destroyed your childhood. He broke you.” I winced the moment the last words left her mouth.
“I was the son of a whore who worked for Falcone. I would have become one of his men anyway, but without his cruelty, without what he’d done to me, I’d have never become ruthless enough to become his best hitman.”
“So you’re helping me because Falcone treated me wrong? He’s treated many people worse than me.”
Growl nodded. He ran a finger down my arm, then back up again. “He did. I did. But I want to help you be happy. I want you to get out of this miserable town and life. I never wanted that for me, but you, for you I want everything.”
“Thank you,” I said quietly. I couldn’t say more. This was overwhelming.
I cleared my throat. Emotions had never been part of the plan, or even a possibility in the beginning. I needed to focus now.
“What are we going to do with my sister? We don’t even know where she is.”
Growl pulled his hand away from my arm. I felt bad, but I knew I had no reason to. I had never chosen this.
“I will find out,” Growl promised. He rested his hand on his stomach.
“I thought Falcone wasn’t sharing that piece of information with you.”
“So far he hasn’t. But now that things are going worse with New York, I think he might soon have reason to tell me about the whereabouts of your sister.”
I sucked in a breath. “Because he thinks you will hurt her.”
“But I won’t.”
“I know,” I said without hesitation and I did. How could things have come this far? I was falling for him, and I wasn’t sure how to stop myself from feeling that way. But I had to. There was no future for Growl and me. There would not be.
He had been a monster all his life. Even if I told him he could redeem himself by helping me, I’d never really believed it, had I? How could I be with someone like that? How could I explain that to my mother and sister? I couldn’t.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Cara
The screaming from the neighbors grew again. It was early in the morning. The sun had barely risen yet, but I’d been lying awake for hours. Not just because of the fighting in the neighbor house but also because of Growl’s agreement to help me.
I scrambled out of bed and peered out of the window toward the house across the street. This time the couple had taken their fight outside. They both were facing each other on their front lawn. A small boy stood in the doorway, perhaps two years old, watching how his parents screamed at each other.
The man raised his hand and hit the woman so hard that she stumbled and fell to the ground, but that didn’t stop him. He leaned over her and hit her again. The boy started crying, his face contorted with terror.
“Growl,” I called.
He came toward me, looking alert. “What’s wrong?”
“The guy is beating his girlfriend up again.”
Growl gave his ‘so-what’ look. “He’s doing it almost every day and she doesn’t leave him. It’s not our problem.”
Another scream drew my eyes back to the couple. The woman was trying to crawl away from her boyfriend but he grabbed her by the hair and twisted her around, hitting her again.
“Help her,” I said firmly. “Please. Or I will do it.” I turned and headed toward the front door, ripping it open. I knew it would be near impossible for me to stop the man because he was tall and big.
Growl was close behind me. “You need to learn to mind your own business.”
“Why? So I can become as ruthless as you and Falcone? No, thanks!” I hissed as I stormed down the sidewalk.
Before I could reach the sideway, Growl grabbed me by the arm, jerking me to a stop. I whirled on him. The howling of the young boy carried over to us and tore at her heart. Nobody else was helping, though many faces appeared in windows, watching what was going on. “This boy has to watch his father beat up his mother. You should know what it does to a child to watch that kind of horrors. Do you really want that boy to share the same fate as you?”
Growl’s eyes flashed with uncertainty, then his gaze fell on the scene across the street. Resolve and fury took over his face. Relief flooded me. I knew that expression.
Growl crossed the street without looking left or right. I followed after him. The guy hadn’t noticed us yet and was insulting his girlfriend and kicking and hitting her alternately. Growl was a bull as he rammed the man with his shoulder. The guy let out a cry and tumbled to the ground. He looked like he wanted to punch whoever had attacked him but then he realized it was Growl and his eyes grew wide.
I crouched beside the woman who was still sitting on the ground, pressing her hand over her mouth. Blood was dripping down her chin. “You’re okay now,” I murmured as touched her shoulder. Her unfocused eyes settled on me. She didn’t say anything. I could smell alcohol on her breath. Her son came running toward us and hugged her around the neck. “Mom…mommy.”
She ignored him, eyes only for Growl who was hitting and shaking her boyfriend, and saying something we couldn’t overhear.
“Don’t let him kill my Dave,” she said almost pleadingly.
I stared. After everything, she was worried about her abusive boyfriend?
“You should go to a women’s shelter with your son.”
The woman shook her head. “Dave isn’t a bad guy. Don’t let him hurt my Dave.”
I stood. Growl shoved the man toward his car. “Fuck off,” he growled, sounding as menacing as he looked. The man got into his car and drove off.
“You should really leave as long as he’s gone,” I told the woman. But her eyes followed the car with despair and longing, and I knew she wouldn’t leave. I ruffled the boy’s hair and the gesture brought a smile to his face. That poor child.
I helped the woman and the boy inside their house, ignoring her constant questions about her boyfriend. Inside the house was crowded with empty beer bottles. It stank of smoke and alcohol, and then I decided that I needed to save the boy at least. I lifted him into my arms and carried him out again. The woman didn’t stop me. She was fumbling with her mobile, trying to call her abusive boyfriend.
Growl gave me a look but didn’t comment as I came out with the young boy. We walked across the street and only when we entered Growl’s house, did he say. “You can’t keep him.”
“I won’t. We have to call child services. We have to do something.”
“You can’t save them all.”
“But I can save him, and that’s enough,” I said firmly. The boy was looking at Bandit and Coco curiously.
Growl glanced between me and the small boy, and nodded. “I know someone I can call. They will find a good place for him.” The boy reached out and touched one of Growl’s tattoos in fascination. Growl’s expression softened a tad and then he headed off toward the phone as if he was scared of his own reaction. There was hope for him after all. An hour later two women came and picked the boy up. That evening I heard his parents screaming at each other again but they didn’t come to ask for him.
When I lay next to Growl after sex that night, I whispered. “You did the right thing today.” He had. Perhaps I was wrong, perhaps he could make up for his sins by doing good.
Growl turned to me. “Perhaps. But that woman is still with the asshole. Some people know nothing but misery. It’s something reliable. Change scares them more than their shitty life.”
I traced the inked thorns over his forearm. “Like you.”
Growl narrowed his eyes. “I’m changing my life for you by going against Falcone.”
“I know, and I’m gr
ateful for that. But you’re doing it for me. It’s like you still don’t think you deserve anything good.” I said. “You live in this place though you don’t have to. I can’t imagine Falcone is paying you that badly. You are like that woman in that regard.”
He sat up. “This house isn’t like being beaten up by someone.” He hesitated. “Is it that bad for you?”
I sighed. “This place makes me miserable.”
“You mean I make you miserable.”
“No,” I said, and I wasn’t sure if it was the truth or still part of her plan to make him trust me. “This place. The people are hopeless and ignorant, and there’s no beauty in this place, only desolation.”
Growl looked around the room. “Beauty is fleeting.”
“And desolation and despair isn’t?” I sat up as well, and leaned my chin on his shoulder, breathing in his musky scent. I didn’t want him to leave but I could tell that he was already growing restless.
“It’s familiar. It’s reliable,” Growl murmured. “I always liked that.” And I had messed things up for him, I supposed. A creature of habit, indeed. And yet, he was giving it up for me.
For a while there was silence, then he slowly withdrew, and I had no choice but to let go of him. He perched on the edge of the bed, but then he got up. “Sleep tight.”
“I would sleep better if you stayed,” I said.
Growl hesitated, but then he left again. Every time I thought we were getting somewhere, an action like this reminded me that we couldn’t. Perhaps at some point my heart would grasp that too.
We drove toward the Las Vegas strip with its skyscrapers. Everything was bright and the people were enjoying themselves. This was a far cry from where Growl lived. We stopped in front of tall sleek skyscrapers with bellboys in front of the sliding doors. Growl got out before the man could open his door, so he helped me out of the car instead. It felt strange to be surrounded by this luxury again. I almost felt like I didn’t belong, as if the last couple of weeks had changed me so much already that I couldn’t possibly fit into the world I’d been part of all her life. It was a scary thought.