by Zoey Dean
Once on the bottom level, she read the plates on each wooden door. Seaweed Hydro Sauna. Serenity Purification Sauna. Ah, there it was: Mount St. Helens Sauna.
Anna hung her white terry-cloth robe on a hook outside the sauna and went in. She was relieved to see that everyone in the enormous cedar-planked room
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sported a bathing suit. Parker had on surfer jams. At his feet was the middle-aged woman who'd been pursuing him all day. Cammie was stretched out on the highest bench in a spectacular white Gottex one-piece with very revealing cutouts. Dee and Jamie Cresswell sat together on the top tier across from Cammie-- there was a slew of other guests, too. Meanwhile Sam and Monty were manning two different cameras--film was rolling.
"Nice of you to join us, Anna," Sam said.
"Sorry I'm late. I was writing."
Sam waved it off. "We're fine."
"What can I do to help?"
"Nada. It's under control. Just sit."
Grateful that Sam hadn't embarrassed her further, Anna found a place along the far wall. Parker came over to her and gave her a big hug. Anna was caught off guard. Yes, she knew Parker, but it wasn't like they were close friends. "Hey, come join me," he said.
Then Monty aimed his camera at them and Anna realized that this was all for the purpose of the film.
"We were just talking about the Steinbergs' party on Sunday," Parker said. "Your sister said you'd be there."
"Um, yes," Anna said. She felt self-conscious and inhibited. She'd told Sam she didn't want to be in this film. Was this some form of passive-aggressive payback?
"With Brock I'm-So-Pretentious' Franklin," Susan added.
"Yeah, yeah, we're up to speed," Cammie said. "Anna
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is an intern at my dad's new agency. That could be interesting."
"I'm not working for him," Anna said.
"Actually, Anna, if you work at Apex, you are," Cammie shot back.
"You know, Cammie, maybe your dad would like to talk about taking me on as a client," Parker said. "I'm up for a new drama on the WB. About rich kids in Beverly Hills."
"How 90210 is that?" Cammie asked, rolling over onto her back. A small, hairy guy in his fifties smiled lasciviously, enjoying the scenery.
Anna was confused. "Our zip code?"
The hairy guy laughed. "She's shining you on. It was a TV show, back in the day. I had an overall deal at Fox at the time."
"Excuse me, Stevie, Stewie--what did you say your name was?" Cammie interrupted.
"Stanley."
"Stanley," Cammie repeated. "We don't care."
Dee, who'd been lying down behind Parker, sat up. "You seriously don't know what 90210 was, Anna?"
Anna shook her head.
"It was all about rich kids in Beverly Hills," Dee explained.
"Like ten years ago, Dee," Cammie said.
"Well, yeah, but there are reruns on cable all the time." Dee turned toward Sam, who craned her camera up to focus on her. 'You know, Sam, some people say that you
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remind them of Tori Spelling." Dee ticked off the reasons on her fingers. "Her father is a famous producer. She wanted to be in the business, so he got her a role on Beverly Hills 90210 , which he produced. And I read how she was always kind of insecure about her looks--"
"Cut!" Sam yelled, tilting her camera down and glaring at Monty until he turned his off, too. "Dee, this is not supposed to be about me . We're making a. film ."
"Well, yeah, but it's supposed to be real, isn't it?" Dee asked. "Besides, you told us before Anna arrived that Parker should try to get with Anna. So I'm just trying to up the dramatic tension."
"Always good to know you're listening, Dee," Sam said drily. "How about some steam in here? Okay, let's roll again."
Monty started filming as Parker poured cold water on the glowing lava rocks. A few wisps of white steam rose toward the ceiling.
"More," Cammie commanded, obviously too comfortable to move.
"If we do that, we won't be able to see you," Monty said.
"No, wait, let's try it," Sam decided. "Because right now you people are giving me nothing. Maybe more steam will loosen you up. Use the valve."
Sam pointed to a steam intake valve on the floor; Parker obliged by opening the valve all the way. A geyser of steam shot into the sauna, enough to obscure everyone from view.
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"Perfect," Sam chortled. "Parker, turn it off. As soon as we can make out faces, Monty, start the film again."
Then Anna heard the door open. Someone entered, but she couldn't see who it was because of the thick steam. She recognized the voice, though. She'd recognize it anywhere.
"Anna, are you in here?" the voice called. "It's Ben."
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Payback
No one screwed with Prima McNaughton and got away with it.
Sure, Prima was furious with herself for falling for that lame story about her mother looking for her. But it was that Susan Percy chick who would have to pay. Prima knew that Parker and Susan were going to be in one of the spa saunas later as part of some student film. That was all she needed.
Bikini in hand, Prima hurried down the stairs of the spa services building, nearly colliding at the bottom of the stairwell with an incredibly hot guy. Tall and buff, with short brown hair and blue eyes, he wore a shirt the color of his eyes and perfectly fitting jeans.
Whoa. Time out. Susan could wait. Thank goodness Prima had on her Miu Miu minidress and Manolo Blahnik sky-high sandals--this boy made Parker look like a geek. Time to go into flirt mode.
Prima introduced herself. The guy said his name was Ben; he was looking for a friend. Someone at the front desk had told him that Sam Sharpe was filming
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in the Mount St. Helens sauna; did she know where that one was?
Prima had done her homework and pointed confidently to the third door on the left. Was Ben going to change? Because Prima was just about to put on her bikini--she waved the pink material coquettishly. Maybe they could sauna together?
But this Ben dude had a one-track mind. He was looking for Sam and another girl named Anna Percy. He had to find them.
Anna Percy? Was it that bitch Susan Percy's sister? It was a damn conspiracy!
Ben left Prima and went into the sauna as Prima watched, hands on hips. It was payback time. Someone had left a long metal exercise pole in the corner. Perfect. When the sauna door had closed completely, Prima propped the pole against the door handle and wedged the other end against the far wall.
Bingo. They were locked in.
Oh, she knew there was probably an emergency button in there. V's had to cover their ass in case some old codger had a heart attack midsteam and needed help. But it would probably take a while for anyone to find it and use it and even longer for someone to get to the sauna from the main building.
Prima smiled. Revenge really was sweet. She tossed her glossy red curls over her shoulder. Then she walked away as quickly as her high-priced shoes could carry her.
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Red Button
Anna felt as if she couldn't breathe, but it had nothing to do with sauna heat. Insane, bizarre, but true--Ben Birnbaum, fully clothed, was just a few feet from her. The questions were, how? And why?
"Ben?" she asked, completely taken aback.
"So this is Ben Birnbaum, the bad boy," Susan piped up. "Interesting entrance. I'm Anna's sister, Susan."
"Anna, can I talk to you? Please?" Ben asked.
"What, and leave us out of this sweet moment?" Cammie asked, her tone cutting. "I hope you're recording this for posterity, Sam."
"The camera is off," Sam said.
Anna felt Sam staring at her as she turned back to Ben. "How'd you even know I was here? I never said where I was!"
"I have caller ID. Look, I'm melting through my clothes. Please. I just need five minutes."
Anna had forgotten that she'd called Ben from the hotel phone
. Not the best move. But now he was here, so she'd have to deal with him. In private.
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She nodded stiffly and slid off the wooden slats. Ben turned and pushed the sauna door. It didn't budge.
He pushed again. Nothing.
"I think it's stuck," he said, putting some real muscle in a third try. "Great, this is the topper to everything."
"Just push the frigging red button next to the door," the hairy guy said, disgusted. "Someone will come from the main building."
"In the meantime," Cammie chimed in, "we'd all love to know what Ben is so desperate to tell Anna."
" Anna , Cammie," Ben said firmly. "Not you."
He had already perspired through his T-shirt, so he pulled it over his head.
"Should I provide appropriate striptease music?" Susan asked sweetly.
Anna groaned. Her sister was adding fuel to the proverbial fire, though Anna had to admit that Ben's taut torso was sweaty perfection. "Maybe I can shine some light on this, Ben," Susan went on. "Anna thinks the only reason you want her back is because she doesn't want you anymore."
Ben looked at Anna. "Did you tell her that?"
Anna stared at the sauna door, willing it to open. "I really do not want to talk about this right here."
"It's because Anna and Adam are a couple now," Dee told Ben.
"She broke up with Adam," Susan put in.
"Shut up !" Dee cried. "When did this happen?"
"Can everyone please--?" Anna began.
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No one was listening to her. "It's not like Anna confides in you, Dee," Cammie put in.
"So, Ben," Susan began, "do you know that Dee's been telling everyone she did you up at Princeton?"
"Susan!" Anna protested.
"Come on, Anna. What does all the let's-keep-everything-private bullshit get you? You think Mom is happy? You think any of her friends are happy?"
"Jeez," Ben muttered. "I'm in a psychodrama."
"Then you must be the psycho--you're the one standing in a sauna half dressed, my dear," said the middle-aged woman near Parker. "When's security going to get here? I'm completely dehydrated."
Cammie turned on Dee. "Is that true? Did you sleep with Ben?"
"So what if it is?" Dee challenged. "It was when I was on my college tour. You guys weren't even together anymore."
"We didn't have sex, Dee," Ben insisted.
"Yes, we did. You got toasted, so you just don't remember, maybe," Dee declared. "But I remember. Every single moment."
"Tell him the rest," Susan urged.
"It's a secret," Dee said.
Susan shook her head. "Don't you think you owe Ben the truth?"
That was when Anna realized "the truth" to which Susan was referring. Dee must have told Susan the same thing that she'd told Anna--that she was pregnant with Ben's baby.
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Dee hesitated. "It's a little premature."
"Look, sweetheart. It's either true or it isn't true," Susan said. "Either you're pregnant or you're not."
" What ?" Ben bellowed.
Dee bit her lower lip. "Well, I haven't been to a doctor yet, exactly."
Ben threw his hands in the air. "This is insane!"
"Buddy, is there anyone in here besides me you haven't screwed?" the hairy guy asked.
Ben ignored him. "You're not pregnant, Dee."
"How do you know?" Dee countered. "I might be."
Sam cleared her throat loudly, getting everyone's attention. "Really. Then why did you knock on my door last night and ask if I had any tampons?"
"Bus-ted!" Susan chortled.
The only sound in the sauna was the faint hiss of heat rising from the lava rocks.
"Well, I thought I was," Dee began, her voice meek. "I mean, maybe I was, for a little while." She buried her face in her hands. "You are all being so rude."
Anna stood. "This is horrible," she declared. "Whatever happened between Dee and Ben is between them. And whatever happened between Ben and me is between us. I don't care what any of you think." Her eyes swept from Sam, to Dee, to Cammie. "And you three. You claim to be each other's best friends. But you take such ... such glee in each other's miseries. What is wrong with you people?"
The sauna was silent. Even Cammie had the grace to look somewhat guilty, at least momentarily.
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Finally the older woman broke the silence. "Take it from me, girls. Never go for a pretty boy. Marry a man who is a lot older, uglier, and richer than you are. If you're good enough in bed, he won't even demand a prenup."
With those pearls of wisdom the door flew open and two burly security guards stepped into the sauna in front of a whoosh of cool air. "Are you people all right?" one of them asked.
"More than all right," Monty crowed as he turned off his video camera. "I got that whole friggin' thing on tape!"
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Why Turn a Comedy Into a Tragedy?
"Anna! Dammit, Anna!" Ben called. Anna charged out the door of the spa services building, determined not to look back. But then Ben was next to her.
"Where are you going?"
She stared straight ahead. "Someplace that isn't here."
"Hey, you're the one who called me, remember?"
"Chalk it up to temporary insanity," Anna decided.
He kept pace as she strode through the lush gardens that led to the main building. "Look, I wasn't expecting a showdown in the sauna, Anna. I didn't plan that."
"Fine. You didn't plan it."
"So why are you blaming me, then?"
She whirled on him so quickly, he took an involuntary step backward. "Blame? Blame has nothing to do with anything. Do you see the kind of people you call friends, Ben? Sam is supposed to be your friend, but even she calls you a player. Dee? She's pathetic. And Cammie is a coldhearted bitch."
"Don't judge me by them--"
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"Fine, I'll judge you by what I know of you. You say you don't know whether or not you had sex with Dee because you were too wasted to remember. What kind of a person does that, Ben? You say you had to dump me on New Year's because you went to rescue a friend. Then you don't even contact me for three days to offer that lame excuse! Or were you drunk that time, too? You don't get to abdicate responsibility for your behavior because you got up close and personal with Johnny Walker Red!"
"It's not something I ... The situation was ..." Ben stopped. He sighed. His shoulders drooped. "Okay. Maybe you're right."
He looked so sad that Anna momentarily wanted to put her arms around him. "You're lucky that Dee isn't pregnant, Ben," Anna said, her voice softer now. "But don't you see? You don't remember what happened that night, which means it could have been true. Then what would you have done?"
"I don't know." His voice was ragged, his eyes miserable. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry, Anna. I wish I could explain so you'd understand ... but I guess it doesn't matter to you anymore. I'm sorry I bothered you."
He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked away. Anna couldn't help it; she felt as if Ben had lifted her heart out of her chest and was taking it with him. Or, more accurately, dragging it behind him. She had to force herself not to follow him.
It was over. Really over. There was nothing left to say.
***
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When Anna got back to the suite building, her sister stood outside her door.
"Well, that was entertaining," Susan said as Anna let them inside.
"So happy to provide your post-rehab amusement."
"Wow. I don't think I've ever heard sarcasm from you before," Susan commented.
Anna flopped onto the couch, lay down, and closed her eyes. "How can you find this funny?"
"Because it is. Why turn a comedy into a tragedy?"
Anna opened her eyes again. Susan was at the desk, scanning the room service menu. "What if I had said that to you?"
"Bravo, score one for the kid sister. Want a snack?"
&nbs
p; "Guess what, Susan? It's possible to have real problems in this life without having to go to rehab over them."
Susan kept her eyes on the menu. "I know that," she said quietly.
Tears filled Anna's eyes as she sat up. "What happened to you, Sooz?"
Susan looked up from the menu. "What are you talking about?"
"The person in this room with me ... this isn't you."
"Maybe it is."
"No. You were never cold. Or mean. Or bitchy. You were always ... you cared about people. You cared about me."
Susan put down the menu and walked over to one of
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the plush chairs. She sat on it with one of her legs slung over an armrest. "Maybe I just don't want to feel so much anymore, Anna. Life is easier that way."
"That's too simple," Anna said. She hadn't planned on confronting Susan, especially after what had happened in the sauna. She hadn't even consciously realized how much Susan's behavior had been bothering her. But here they were.
"Why, because I decided not to play by Mom's rules anymore?" Susan asked. "All the caveats and addendums of what is and isn't permissible? God forbid you have appetites. God forbid you have passion. Mom's rules suck, Anna. I'd rather live my way and fuck it up than be stuck in that prison. I said this to you before, and I'll say it again now: When is the last time you took a chance on anything?"
"Coming to Los Angeles was a big chance, and we're not talking about me."
"Right," Susan shot back. "Because you'd much rather focus on my problems than on yours. So you moved to Los Angeles. Big deal. Nothing changed except the ocean."
Anna felt her hands clench into fists. "Fine. I'll try it your way. How does it go again? Drop out of school to live with some lowlife loser. Get all fucked up. Then go to rehab and bail on it. Then become loser party babe. Have I got that right?"
All the color drained from Susan's face. "I didn't bail on rehab."
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"Yes, you did," Anna insisted. "At least own up to your--"
"I got kicked out," Susan snapped. "Happy?"