by Lara LaRue
My emotions were all over the place. Deep down, I feared that I was out of control, that the drug or something else was unbalancing me. But either way, Raevu was definitely being a controlling ass. I locked my door and then shoved a heavy couch in front of it. I didn’t want to see or deal with any of them anymore.
Chapter 20
Raevu
This is completely mad. What is Acidi doing?
I shouldn’t have said anything to her about the experiment before I left. But I thought I was doing the more gentlemanly thing by telling her myself that our contract was over. I should’ve just kept my mouth shut and had the Grand Mother recall her.
And now Eva, who had already endured too much, had her trust broken by the whole mess with Acidi. Perhaps I should have expected it. But Eva’s anger at me, her refusal of what the gods had decreed, and her complete rejection of me when I had asserted the truth of the matter was unreasonable.
I threw my glass across the room in frustration. It shattered into a barrage of crystal slivers.
Baelon, without opening his eyes from his reclined position, asked, “Frustrated, nephew?”
“Keep quiet, Baelon,” I replied flatly. “You’re absolutely no help.”
“I told you not to choose Acidi, and I warned you Eva was in a delicate state and shouldn’t be pushed. That was my help,” he replied, and then he pushed himself to a sitting position and stood, eyes locked with mine the whole time. “And instead of listening, you chose Acidi, fucked her, ignored her instability and greed and all the warnings you were given, then started the program, told her what was going on, and left the planet. Adding to the chaos, you accepted Eva as your life mate without telling her about Acidi.” His eyes narrowed in actual disgust now as he stared at me. “And finally, you proceeded to respond to Eva being understandably upset and wanting to leave by acting like a complete beast. What did you hope to accomplish by telling her that she no longer has any choice, that you’re going to force her to stay here and essentially fuck her whether she wants it or not? Because from where I was sitting, it sounded to me like a kidnap and rape threat.”
“What?” I blinked in shock, amazed he would accuse me of such a thing when all I had been doing was asserting my claim on my rightful mate.
“You heard me. Do you think she suddenly got violently angry because she has a problem with authority? You do not tell or even imply to a woman that you will force her to stay with you or force her into your bed. What is wrong with you that I even have to tell you this?” He kept staring back at me, no matter how hard I glared.
He pointed a thick finger at me. “You’re the author of these problems. You can’t expect women to simply submit to you and have no thoughts of their own about the situations you drag them into.”
Slowly, a trickle of doubt worked its way through my rage. “That wasn’t my intention,” I protested slowly.
Baelon steepled his fingers. “Oh? Really? Well, how did you mean it? Because I had to sit here and listen to it, and it sounded very much like you intend to force her if you cannot win her. Which, at this rate, you’re thoroughly failing to do.”
I heard a choking sound from T’ral, but his face was impassive when I turned to look. Had he been laughing at me?
“I am not going to hurt her,” I snapped. “We all know that the medicine is just making her unreasonable.” I couldn’t understand why my heart was suddenly beating so fast or where this creeping sense of unease came from.
“The medicine is making her more emotionally sensitive, but it’s not unreasonable to protest against the prospect of being held against her will. Let alone mated against her will.” My uncle wouldn’t stop staring into my eyes. I had the sudden impression that I had become a kid again and was being sternly reprimanded.
I bristled at the thought. “Whose side are you on?”
“Oh, I’m on your side, even when you’re being a great bombastic idiot about things. But I am also on Eva’s side. It is, after all, my job to keep that lovely thing in there safe from the likes of Acidi and any others who might harm her.” Baelon looked serious. “Now, what will you do about Acidi?”
“Get the physicians to test her to see if the child is mine,” I barked.
Baelon’s eyes narrowed. “Which they can’t do until after the child is born.”
“We’ll proceed with the life mate ceremony,” I hissed. My blood was starting to boil with frustration.
“What if Eva won’t cooperate?” Baelon countered. “Especially after the mess you just made of things?”
“Hitto Soikoon, Baelon!” I swore. “You’re my adviser. Give me answers and advice,” I burst out. “Quit coming up with obstacles.”
He smirked. “I’m just making sure you think your options over thoroughly and face facts about the consequences of your actions.”
I glared at him, but there came that doubt again as I remembered the outrage, disgust, and hurt in Eva’s eyes. Didn’t she know that I would never take her against her will?
T’ral spoke up, “My king, I believe we should take a wait-and-see attitude here. Without many invasive tests, we cannot know whether or not Acidi is telling the truth. And, in our culture, that path is taboo as she is jalkavaima. Provided that we can get past these…setbacks, we should proceed as planned with the mating ceremony. We can then make a treaty presentation to the council and plan to allow our warriors to marry human women if the women so agree. I believe there are human women who would become jalkavaimas to get out of their current situations, and jalkavaimas who would marry and become full-time wives or mothers to their partners if it were allowed. It just hasn’t been an option in many years.” He frowned and looked up at me. “But about Acidi—”
“Enough!” I barked. “I will deal with Acidi tomorrow. She has no control over me or mine. Quit fretting like old women.”
Baelon frowned. “Like you’ve ever met an old woman.” He stood and turned to face me. “And if the Grand Mother hears you say that, my next several visits will be nightmares.”
I snorted. The Grand Mother doted on Baelon. Of her many sons, he was her first and her favorite. “As T’ral is the only one with any good advice, I will be listening to him. We shall just proceed,” I commented.
Baelon didn’t seem the least quelled by the flat looks I was giving him. He stared back at me placidly, but I could see a hint of disgust in his eyes. It surprised me. We had always had a good relationship. Could I actually be in the wrong, as he had asserted, in my treatment of Eva?
I couldn’t think about it right now. “T’ral,” I continued, “send a reply. Grant Acidi an audience late in the day when we arrive. Request the Grand Mother to join us. Baelon, you will consider these threats against Eva. Keep a guard near her at all times.”
Both males nodded once and left the room.
What a ridiculous disaster, I thought as I dropped onto a couch. I’d been less and less inclined to visit Acidi’s bed in the last several months before this last trip to Earth. As a matter of fact, I couldn’t even remember the last time I had joined with her. It simply hadn’t been that remarkable.
Of the five females the Grand Mother had suggested I interview, Acidi had been the loveliest. I hadn’t actually interviewed any. Just chosen based upon the holofile in the data screen. The Grand Mother had frowned at that decision and told me in no uncertain terms that I needed to interview them, but I’d refused and stubbornly stuck by my choice.
Poor decision, that. I rubbed my hands over my scalp. Acidi had played mind games, demanded constant gifts and attention, and lain like a stone during sex, pushing away my hands when I tried to please her. It was as if she would never ever give up control, even long enough to have an orgasm. Nor was Acidi’s presence in my life the only mistake I got to look forward to paying for. The look on Eva’s face as she’d left the room haunted me. I wished, not for the first time, that I could still feel what she was feeling.
Briefly, back on Earth, I’d been able to sense her emotions. Once we
’d gotten on board and she’d started taking her daily elixir to relieve her flu-like symptoms, that connection was lost.
Now, it felt like another connection had been severed between us. Her look had been so closed. So empty. I couldn’t tell if she was angry, hurt, or…what.
Her emotions typically could be read plain as day on her face. I could easily tell if she was happy or angry, but not this time. It seemed that the moment I had made the mistake of demanding submission, she had walled off her heart from me.
Baelon had left his glass of qua on the low table. I reached for it and downed its contents in one gulp. I reached for the pitcher that had been left behind and swore viciously. Empty. As I crossed the stateroom to refill my glass from the bar, I remembered a moment just the previous day when Eva’s face had been tender and laughing and teasing.
Each day before our evening meal, Eva and I spent a couple of hours together. We ended up teaching one another the games we liked to play. She liked games of chance, cards particularly. I’d had plenty of practice with those during my time on Earth with Ken. She could bluff me every time.
I preferred games of strategy. I tried to teach her to play a game called Shakki Mestari. It was very similar to Earth’s chess, but it had two levels of boards. When my piispa piece had placed her koninsga into jeopardy for the fourth time, she’d laughed.
“Can’t we play checkers?” she’d asked as she had placed a hand on my arm. “I seem to be terrible at this. I don’t get how the second board does anything but benefit you and terrify me.”
That simple touch had sent an electric shock through my entire body. Multiple times, I’d caught her moving backward on the game board. I was almost sure she was doing it on purpose.
I’d waited and watched her carefully to see if signs of the Sopulir’s extrasensitizing side effect would take her over and she would suddenly become desirous and in need of my touch, but that never seemed to happen—or if it did, she was hiding it well.
Her flu-like symptoms had abated as promised, but exhaustion set in by the end of every day aboard ship. I was terribly disappointed. I had been looking forward to that particular potential side effect of the medicine. We’d figured that her human DNA must have negated that notable effect. Or were my actions and words driving her away somehow? Could Baelon be right? I thought I was being a decisive warrior and king, but…
I sighed, reminiscing. When I’d asked what “checkers” was, Eva had attempted to explain. Geoffrey managed to get the matter printer to fashion what Eva called an acceptable board, and she taught me the game.
She’d leaned over the board to jump three of my men in a row. Eva had looked up into my face, laughing as she had scooped my pieces up and blew me a kiss mockingly. She had been so very close to me, I had imagined I could feel the kiss breezing my way.
Our eyes had locked, and the moment had seemed to stop. She had been so very close. A bare tilt of my body had brought our faces in line. I had brushed her warm, parted lips with my own. Once. Twice then, pressing my lips to hers, I’d taken what I hadn’t even attempted to take since we’d left her planet. A kiss. A simple one, or so it had seemed.
But when I had broken the contact and backed off, it had taken a moment or two for her large, dark eyes to flutter open. She had breathed in deeply even as I had. I couldn’t have said I had been unaffected. Before either one of us had been able to move or speak, T’ral had appeared in the doorway to announce that our evening meal was ready. I had thought I saw disappointment in Eva’s eyes. I knew there had been disappointment in my heart.
I rubbed the bridge of my nose, trying to ignore the headache forming. I wanted that easy laugh and electrifying touch again. She seemed to soak up T’ral’s lessons in language and history as if she were somehow just remembering them instead of learning them anew.
And watching her move through the patterns Baelon was teaching her for self-defense? Well, it was a good thing she used me as a practice dummy or certain parts of my anatomy would be embarrassing me on a daily basis. She was beauty and grace, so intent, concentrating on Baelon’s words and motions.
My mistakes with Acidi would not take this away from me. There was no way that baby was mine. We had carefully checked to make sure Acidi wasn’t pregnant before I’d left Juhl. Of course, possibly Acidi didn’t realize that. She did have scientific training and a brother who worked in the fertility labs, now that I thought about it. That was an avenue I would need T’ral to look into more carefully. Her brother.
Acidi was excellent at grand scenes, and it was just like her to stage one knowing that I was bringing home a bride. A human queen. And she would have to know, as transmissions had been sent back and forth to prepare for the ceremonies.
Histories had been referenced and cross-referenced. The Grand Mother had been consulted. And Acidi most certainly had her share of informants and spies throughout the entire palace since she’d lived there for so many seasons. That was definitely another thing T’ral would have to look into, Acidi’s web of people that fed her information she had no right to.
We had to work fast. It was our last day in space. We’d be home in mere hours, and now Eva wouldn’t talk to me.
I had a vague plan forming on how I could relieve some of Eva’s isolation and hopefully regain her favor. But I would need to send off some transmissions to Earth before it could come to completion.
Perhaps Baelon had been right, and Eva had taken my show of dominance as something hostile. I would have to convince her that it was simply the natural dominance of my people. We were warriors, conquerors, alphas that took, not asked. I was an alien that had a lot to learn about the human female. But in time, and through her patience with me, everything would have to work out the way I wanted it to. I was the king, and I would make sure it happened just that way.
Chapter 21
Eva
I offered only a perfunctory “Good Morning” when I joined the males at the morning meal. I didn’t want to speak to any of them, not even Baelon. I hadn’t slept well last night since I had told Raevu to pretty much go fuck himself. After that, too many thoughts and emotions had spent the night vying for attention in my brain.
I ate in silence and let the masculine voices wash over me. I knew why I was pissed at Raevu, for treating me like a slave who had no choice but to follow his orders. But it was the whole mess with Acidi that really pushed me over the edge.
Why am I feeling so betrayed?
When I’d signed up for the Program, I’d never thought I’d find the love of my life, get married, and live happily ever after. From all of the fucked-up men I had met in my life, I knew Prince Charming didn’t fucking exist. So, I’d figured I’d be part of a group of women trying to help the Juhlian people. Truth be told, this was no different from the description of the jalkavaimas. But I hadn’t known about them. I hadn’t thought about being added to an existing pool of women.
And, for the last several weeks, the whole life mate idea had been explained, reinforced, and focused on so much that I had forgotten completely about being willing to be the partner to several different Juhlian males. To discover that Raevu had a long-term partner he’d actively been trying to get pregnant was…disconcerting.
Was I bothered because she could so easily be me? Or was I bothered because she had a baby by Raevu and had gotten to sleep with him, while I have been forced to wait?
The food I ate passed my lips without my notice. I was trying to decide if I was angry or just hollow inside. I had been extremely angry last night, but mostly about the whole trying to hide a baby from me thing. After all, I can’t get angry at the fact that he’s had a previous girlfriend, right?
It was at moments like this that I wished Laura and Ivy were here with me. Women I could talk to and who would understand.
The males all rose from the table, and I followed their cue. I trailed along in silence as we made our way to the transport bay. We climbed aboard what I had dubbed the “ship-to-shore” ferry on our trip
upward.
I settled into the same seat I had occupied on the outbound trip from Earth and remained quiet. Baelon sat beside me. He made sure my restraining straps were properly fastened, gave me a nod of satisfaction, and promptly closed his eyes and ignored me for the rest of the voyage. He seemed to understand that I needed to be left alone.
I ran through all sorts of conversations in my head. Some with Laura, some with Ivy, even one or two with this Acidi person I’d never met. I truly needed something to think about other than the parallels between her life and the one I’d signed up for and the worry that I might no longer be necessary.
Damn, that will piss me off if it turns out to be true.
I had gone through so damned much to help out these aliens, and the idea that I would get tossed aside after everything made my stomach hurt.
Screw it.
If Raevu was going to be a dick and try to force his will on me, maybe Acidi could have him. Maybe I could live with Baelon. I liked him pretty well. Except, I really thought Ivy would like him even more.
With hardly any turbulence, we burst into the atmosphere and through the cloud cover. At just the same moment, the wall next to me became transparent. I gasped and focused entirely on the landscape unfolding below and around us.
All I could see was green. Green leaves, vines, and trees. Juhl’s landscape dripped with emerald vegetation. Even the sun seemed to shine down greenish rays of light.
I was sure my jaw dropped open. The trees towered over everything. Vines draped like streamers from branch to branch. Huge, fern-like plants waved gently in the soft breezes.
All the plant life hid the buildings. I had to search for them. And then I realized how far away from the trees we were—and how big the trees actually were. Structures nestled in amongst the roots of the trees, and in many cases, were built into the roots themselves. I could even see tiers of buildings built into the sides of the trees, as if they were cliff faces.