“Why don’t we table this topic for another day? Still want to watch Challenge Your Fear or are you getting tired?”
“Challenge Your Fear, please.”
I unmuted the sound. “Good because I could watch this all night.”
Chapter 13
Lucas
The next morning, I rolled out of bed at noon. Aria and I had stayed up talking and watching episodes of Challenge Your Fear until the wee hours of the morning. It wasn’t until after the sun rose that we finally turned the TV off and went to our own separate rooms. I’d told her to sleep in as long as she needed, and, as far as I knew, she was still in bed.
I looked outside and saw Sam sitting in the gazebo. Picking up my cup of coffee, I headed out to sit with him. Most of the time, I kept to myself, but I didn’t feel like doing that today. Sitting up all night with Aria made me realize something.
It was nice having someone to talk to.
I usually avoided spending time with people, but hanging out with her made me feel alive in a way I hadn’t ever felt before. She had a way about her. I’d seen it from the first moment we’d met. Maybe it was that she put others at ease.
“Hey, Sam.” I sat down and set my coffee on the table. “Nice morning, isn’t it?”
He looked at me with interest. “Yes, it is. You’re awfully cheerful today.”
Was I? He was right. I was in a good mood. It was the first time in a while. “Guess being in a place like this makes a person happy.”
He nodded slowly, studying me. “Maybe so.”
“Did you have a nice time touring the city yesterday?”
“As a matter of fact, I did.” He watched me again with a peculiar expression on his face.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
He shook his head and smiled. “It’s just . . .” He trailed off as if trying to figure out what he wanted to say. “We come here almost every year, but this is the first time you’ve joined me in the gazebo.”
“Really?” Huh. He was probably right about that.
He chuckled. “I’m not complaining. You’re welcome to join me anytime.”
I took a sip of my coffee. “Noted.”
Neither of us said anything else for a long time. I continued to drink my coffee and Sam stared out at the view. I finally broke the ice. “How are your kids doing? I never hear you talk about them.”
Sam looked at me like an alien had abducted the real me and put a clone in my place. “They’re doing well. My daughter just had another baby, and that makes five.”
“Five? Holy moly. I can’t imagine having that many kids.”
Sam chuckled. “She and her husband love running after those munchkins. I’ll be using some vacation time to visit them soon if that’s okay.”
“Of course. Anytime you want.”
“My son just moved to Washington.” He leaned back in his seat and snickered. “Followed a girl out there. Things are getting serious. Any day now I expect to hear news of an engagement.”
“That’s great.” I’d only meant to be polite, but as I observed him, my heart sunk like a rock in a murky ocean. He was so happy his son had found a woman to love. What would it be like to be happy about getting married? I’d never cared before, but seeing the look on his face—it made me want more for my life.
But it would never happen. My future depended on marrying someone I didn’t care for. I wanted to change the subject, but there was one question I was curious about. “How long were you and your wife married?”
“Almost twenty years before she passed.”
“Why didn’t you remarry?” I hesitated. “I hope you don’t mind me asking.”
He cleared the gravel from his throat. “Not at all. I’m open to marriage, but I haven’t found another woman who even comes close to Rebecca. She was one of a kind.”
“To be honest, I always assumed you didn’t remarry because you liked being single. Marriage is so confining.”
His forehead wrinkled. “I wouldn’t call it that. I wouldn’t call it that at all.”
“I’m not trying to be rude. Just thought maybe you’d rather be free.”
He sat up straighter. “Let me tell you something. Marriage is a lot of hard work, but when two people fall in love and commit themselves to each other, it’s a beautiful thing to behold.”
“Hmmm.” I wasn’t so sure about that.
“In the very beginning of time, Adam was alone. He needed companionship, someone to share his life with. When God brought Eve to him, his whole world changed.”
“How do you know he didn’t like his solitude? Maybe he preferred being alone.”
“No one prefers being alone all the time. Sure, we all like to have moments to ourselves, but as you get older, loneliness eats away at you if you don’t have people in your life to spend it with.”
“What if you had to marry someone you didn’t love?”
Sam leveled me with a hard look. “You never have to marry anyone.”
“You know my father, Sam. You worked with him before you became my driver. The man has a way of making things happen, like it or not, and he wants me to be married to a certain type of woman. He’s given me a list, and Hillary is on that list. I have no choice.”
“There’s always a choice.”
“What are you saying? That I just defy him and refuse to marry her?”
“Yeah. Why not?” He said it so casually like it was no big deal to go head-to-head with my father.
“You don’t understand. If I don’t marry her or one of the women on the list, I won’t inherit his wealth. Everything I have now: my cars, my homes, this place . . . It will all be taken away and given to someone else. Even you, Sam. I’d have to let you go. I wouldn’t be able to afford to pay you.”
Sam was quiet for a few moments, and then he cleared his throat again. “Lucas, I’ve prayed for you every day since I began working for you. I know we don’t talk much, but I care about you a great deal. If you told me today I didn’t have a job anymore because you decided to give it all up for something better . . . I’d say, ‘Good for you.’”
I looked at him incredulously. “You can’t really mean that.”
“I do.”
“How can you say you’d be willing to give up your paycheck?”
“Because I’d rather see you make a decision that isn’t motivated by money.” He shot me a look out of the corner of his eye. “And to find a woman you can be happy with for the rest of your life. Most of all, I’d like to see you come to terms with the fact that you are not a slave of your father. Make your own choices. Live with the consequences of your own decisions.”
My mouth dropped open. “That’s what you’d want? Even to your own detriment?”
“I can find another job. That’s not the issue. We’re talking about your life here.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I looked away and took another sip of coffee. No one had ever put my well-being above their own interests.
“Lucas, let me ask you something.” He waited until I made eye contact. “What are you living for?”
What kind of question was that? It caught me off guard, and I wasn’t sure how to answer. “What does anyone live for, anyway? We engage in the endless rat race until we die. I’m not the philosophical type.”
“You don’t need to be. You just need to know what you want most.”
His words sobered me. I was quiet for a long time after that. Finally, I ran a hand through my hair and let out a breath. “I guess I just want to be happy.” Saying the words made my chest ache because it wasn’t within my reach—would never be within my reach.
“Then I assume marrying Hillary and complying with your father’s wishes will bring you happiness.”
I grit my teeth, irritated. “It’s a lot more complicated than that.”
“Only if you make it complicated.”
Leaning down, I rested my elbows on my knees and dropped my gaze. “Maybe I defy my father, and I still don’t have
that elusive thing—that thing I’ve been chasing my entire life. At least the other way I keep my inheritance.”
“Perhaps,” he said. “But you’ll never find true satisfaction from that money. You’re trying to fill a void with things only God can fill. He loves you, and He wants you to—”
“God doesn’t love me.”
“On the contrary, He loves you so much He sent His Son to die for you.” Sam got up from his seat. “Wait here for just a minute.” He hurried into the house and came back a few minutes later with a Bible. It looked old and worn and the spine was falling apart. “This belonged to my father. He gave it to me before he passed away.” He handed it to me, eyes tender. “I’d like you to have it.”
My eyes widened. “Sam, I can’t take this. Don’t you want to give it to your children one day?”
“My children have other heirlooms to pass on, but I want you to have this. I’m giving it to you because I want you to understand how important it is to my heart that you read it. If I gave you a regular Bible, I’m pretty sure you’d toss it to the side and never look at it again.”
“I wouldn’t know where to start.”
“The book of John is a good place to begin.”
“I don’t have time.”
“We always find time for things that are important to us.”
“I’ve never been interested in religion. It’s just not for me.”
“It’s not about religion,” he said. “It’s a relationship with the Lord. A way of life. Something that takes place in your heart. He changes you on the inside.”
I let out a heavy sigh. “I don’t know about all that, but I’ll read it for you.”
After that, I put away Sam’s gift and headed into town to pick up Hillary for our next date. It went about the same as the first time, and two hours seemed to be the tipping point. Either my tolerance level had diminished or Hillary was starting to grate on my nerves even more than the last time we dated.
This time, she’d whined the whole time about the locals. She appeared to think they were hindering progress because they didn’t want to hand over their homes to big city developers. Apparently, her father was involved in local negotiations, and she had a strong opinion about it.
I was all for business and what made the most money—that was how I handled most of my contracts—but I thought it was crazy she didn’t understand why someone would want to hold on to their home. It seemed pretty obvious to me.
We’d argued about it for twenty minutes before I’d given up and said I had other things to do. Pushing down my frustration, I’d scheduled to see her the next day. Courting her was starting to look like a very slow process. But what could I do? I could barely handle spending two hours at a time with her. Once we married, we’d have to go our own separate ways.
To make things even worse, I couldn’t stop thinking about Aria. I found myself daydreaming about rushing home to see her. Maybe I’d take her on a hike or something. This entire situation was entering a danger zone, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself. We’d barely been here two days and my feelings had already gone further than they should. I let out a bitter laugh. So much for putting distance between us. Staying up watching TV and talking with her all night was hardly the definition of distance.
Instead of going home, I camped out at a little beachside pub and tried to kill time. I pulled out my phone and called Pete Jensen, my private investigator.
“Hey, Pete. It’s Lucas.”
“Hi, Mr. Armstrong, what can I do for you today?”
“I need you to look into something for me. One of my employees has a missing brother last seen in Santa Monica.” I gave him the pertinent data Aria had given me the night before with his date of birth and other identifying information.
“It may take a little time, but I’ll get on it right away.”
“Thanks. This is important, so let me know as soon as you have any leads.”
“You got it.”
When I finally arrived home, the house was quiet, and no one was around. Sam and Aria must have both gone to their own rooms.
Relief and disappointment washed over me. Relief because I didn’t know if I could stay away from Aria, and disappointment because I didn’t want to stay away.
So, I did what I do best.
I pushed down my feelings and went to bed.
Chapter 14
Lucas, 18 years old
“A Pete Jensen is here to see you.” Jenny, one of the administrative assistants for the floor stood at my doorway looking almost nervous. “He said it was very important he speak with you. I told him you were busy but—”
“Let him in.”
“Of course, Mr. Armstrong.” She ducked her head and scurried out like a mouse running from pest control.
I’d been working for Dad over the summer since graduating from High School, and, apparently, the staff were afraid of me. Dad had made it clear to everyone that I was the eyes and ears of this office, and anyone who veered out of line would be put on a list. It hadn’t gone over well, and, needless to say, my coworkers stayed away from me as much as possible. Not a big shocker there. Dad probably thought he was making me a leader by giving me that kind of power. Instead, he’d managed to alienate me from the people who might actually teach me a thing or two.
There was a knock on the door and Pete Jensen entered. “Mr. Armstrong, I have the information you requested.”
“Great. Come in and close the door behind you.”
He did so, taking a seat across from my large mahogany desk. He handed me a manila folder, his expression impartial. I couldn’t tell if the news was bad or good, but that was one thing I liked about Mr. Jensen—he always kept things professional.
“Before you look through everything,” he said, “there’s something you should know.”
“What’s that?” I sat up straighter, folding my hands, trying to hide the anxiety that must show in my expression.
“She has another family now. A husband. Two kids.”
I felt the blood drain from my face, and I gripped the edge of the desk. “Is she okay?”
“She appears to be fine. Lives in a middle-class suburb of Dallas. She’s a part of the local PTA and has a bunch of women over every Wednesday for some kind of ladies’ group.”
Mom left when I was five and Calista was just a toddler. Dad said he’d kicked her out because she was a drug addict, and he didn’t want her behavior to affect us. For as long as I could remember that was the story I’d been told. For years, I’d worried about my mother, wondering if she was dead or alive. I hadn’t heard a word from her in thirteen years, but now that I was a legal adult and Dad couldn’t monitor what I did as easily, I’d hired Pete to find her.
I opened the file and the first page had her address and phone number. Glancing up, I met Pete’s gaze. “Did you talk with her?”
He shook his head. “No. You asked me to be discrete. She never saw me.”
“Good.” I reached across the table and shook his hand. “Thank you.”
He stood and walked to the doorway. “Let me know if you have any questions, but you should find everything you need in that folder. I was very thorough.”
“I appreciate it.”
He vacated the office, and I was left alone to go through the file. A part of me was scared of what I would find. The other part felt this irresistible need to connect with the woman I once called mother, no matter what I found. What if I just picked up the phone and called her right now?
Without thinking it through, I dialed her number and waited as it rang.
A distinctly female voice answered. “Hello.”
I froze, not able to speak past the lump in my throat.
“Hello,” she said again.
I breathed out a little too loudly and put a hand over my mouth, too overcome with emotion to say anything.
“Look, if you won’t answer, I’m going to hang up.”
“Wait.” My heart was racing in my chest, knocking agains
t my ribs, but I couldn’t let her hang up.
“Who is this?” She sounded alarmed now.
“It’s Lucas.”
There was a long moment of silence. “Lucas who?”
A dull ache settled in my gut at that question. “Lucas Armstrong, your son.”
She gasped. “I don’t have a son.”
“What?” Had Mr. Jensen given me the wrong information?
“I have two daughters.”
Pete was too good at his job to mess something like that up. “It’s me, Mom. It’s Lucas.”
She started to cry, and for several minutes her soft weeping filtered through the phone. I wasn’t sure what to say, so I waited.
When she quieted, it was another few seconds before she spoke again. “How did you get this number, Lucas?”
“I hired a P.I. to find you.”
She laughed bitterly. “Just like your father.”
“So, you acknowledge you have a son?”
“Yes. I was thrown off guard.”
“It’s okay. I know this must be hard for you.”
“It is.” She sniffed. “Lucas?”
“Yeah?”
“You shouldn’t have called.”
My stomach clenched, bringing waves of nausea that swept over me like the ocean tide. She hadn’t meant it the way it sounded. It had to be that she was afraid of my father. “I had to know if you were okay.” I barely got the words out.
“Things are better off the way they are.”
“Haven’t you wondered about me over the years? And Calista?”
“Of course, I’ve wondered about you, but you’re not a part of my life anymore. I had to leave. I had to get out of there.”
“Dad pushed you out, didn’t he? He threatened you.”
“I’m sure you know by now how your father is.”
“It’s been thirteen years, Mom. I deserve to know what happened. Were you on drugs?”
“What? No. I never did anything like that.” She sighed. “Your father is an evil man. He was always out with other women, and I couldn’t live that way anymore. I had to get out.”
The Ruthless Billionaire: A Clean Billionaire Romance (California Elite) Page 10