by Olsen, Lisa
“I don’t think I can compel Bishop into doing what I want, it wouldn’t be right.”
“Then that is your choice,” Jakob shrugged, bored with the topic. “Share a drink with me, my Anja. Forget Ulrik. Let us renew our bond and forge new memories, you and I.” He slid the glass to me, and I barely managed to catch it as a new idea took hold of me.
“Wait... can you show me that memory thing? The way you were able to share a memory with me before? If I could show Bishop the memories of our past, he’d see our time together through my eyes. Then he’d have to believe me. Is that something I can even do?”
“Yes, it is easily done,” Jakob allowed, stealing the glass back for another drink. “But we would require privacy. Come back to my lodgings with me and I will show you the power to be found in the blood.”
Warning klaxons went off in my mind like the Enterprise on red alert, but what choice did I have? “Alright, but Bridget has to come with us.”
Jakob sent her an appraising look, his eyes lingering over her lush curves. “She is acceptable to me.”
“Not like that, as a chaperone.”
“You think she has power to stop me should I decide to dally with you?” Jakob snorted in disbelief. “I can assure you, she would not be able to resist my charms.”
“You might be surprised, Bridget has pretty strong opinions where vampires are concerned.”
“I am not a common vampire, I am Ellri. I thought you knew that better than most.”
Boy howdy, did I. “Alright then, we will come with you to your lodgings, if you promise to be a gentleman.”
“I promise not to take more than you will allow. But should you choose to give it...”
“Fair enough,” I agreed, figuring that was as good as I was going to get.
* * *
“No deal. There’s no way I’m going back to his rape cave.” Bridget flat out refused.
“It’s not a...” I lowered my voice, waiting for the heads in the bar to swivel back in the other direction. “We’re only going back to his room so he can show me how to do the shared memory thing and then we’ll leave, easy peasey.”
“If you believe that, you’re blonder than you look. You don’t seriously think that’s all that’s going down once the blood starts flowing, do you?”
“He promised to behave like a perfect gentleman.”
“Um, Earth to Anja, that dude is not a gentleman. He’s a straight up Viking. That means more horns than the ones on his hat, and he’s used to taking what he wants. Even worse, he’ll compel us both into thinking it’s our idea to begin with. I can’t put myself in a position like that again. I just... I can’t.”
We’d never talked about her experiences at the feeder bar I’d found her in after Bishop died, but I started to clue into exactly how much she’d needed to escape too. “You don’t have to go,” I said quickly before she worked herself up any more.
“I want to have your back, I do, but...”
“No, it’s fine. I can handle Jakob. I totally get it. Do you want to hang out here or should I meet you back at the house?”
“Are you sure you want to go with him? Can’t he talk you through it in a public place? Like tech support without getting all hands on?”
“Something tells me this is a trick I’ll have to feel my way through, and that does mean an exchange of blood. I’m not thrilled about it, but whatever happens, saving Bishop is worth it.”
“If you say so.” She still didn’t look convinced. “How about I’ll come with you but hang outside, would that be cool? That way if things start to go sideways I can charge in there and gank him with this.” She held up a wooden spoon she’d swiped from the table.
“I seriously doubt you’ll be able to hurt him with that.”
“Depends on where I shiv him,” she said with a gleam in her eyes that made me wonder if she was right.
“Okay, let’s do this.”
* * *
Jakob’s lodgings weren’t what I’d expected at all. I’d been thinking a room for rent, but he’d commandeered an entire house. Not a big one by his standards, but it was clean and well appointed, with comfortable furniture and gleaming hardwood floors. I smelled humans somewhere in the house, but no one was up and around at that late hour.
At first he tried to steer me to his bedroom, but I put an end to that from the start, insisting we stay on the ground floor in the parlor. Bridget hid out in the kitchen, swapping out her wooden spoon for the fireplace poker. I thought about telling her that she’d have better luck with a wooden weapon than the metal poker, but she looked like she felt better with something more substantial to hold onto, so I left it alone. Besides, if all went well, we wouldn’t need it.
“Okay, so how do we do this?” I asked, sitting on the sofa beside him. “All I remember about the last time we did this was you ordered me to drink and when I closed my eyes, it was like I was experiencing one of your memories.”
“Yes, that is exactly how it is done. You have only to command his attention, and then project what memory you would share with him as he takes your blood. It is a form of compulsion. You may practice on me,” he offered, but I narrowed my eyes at him.
“Then will it work with you? I can’t compel you.”
“It will if I am receptive to it. The less cooperative your subject is, the harder it will be for you to share your memory with them.”
“Then I should be fine with Bishop since he’s weaker than I am in this time. Provided I stop to feed on my way there.”
“You can drink of my blood,” he offered with a predatory smile.
“Thanks, but no thanks. The price is too high.”
“As you wish, petal,” he agreed without argument. “You may begin.”
I thought back to that night in the club, what he’d said, what he’d made me feel. I’d never tried to compel an Ellri before, but I reached for his will with mine, same as I would for a human. “Drink, älskling,” I commanded, trying to mimic his tone as I bit into my finger and held the droplet of blood up to his lips. “Drink and know me.”
Jakob’s mouth closed over my finger, his tongue swirling over the pad as he sucked, and I closed my eyes, willing him to see what I saw without losing myself to the pleasure of the pull of his mouth.
The Ellri boldly strode into the circle of stones to stand by my side. “I knew you would never come to my bed of your own free will after how I’ve wronged you. When I learned that Carys was to join you, I knew something must be up, as they say. I followed you here.”
“You went to his bed?” Rob demanded, his emotions whiplashing back to anger.
“No!” I gasped. “Well, I mean yes, but nothing happened. Not really.” That wasn’t the pressing issue for the moment. “Jakob, please don’t get involved. Can’t you understand we need to end this thing once and for all?”
“I understand more than you think,” he smiled, reaching out to touch my cheek with the back of his fingers. “I will do this, let it be my sacrifice,” he declared, and Lilias rolled with it, her eyes bright in the uncertain light.
“Decide quick, people. Who’s doing the cutting?”
Carys looked ready to step forward, but Jakob’s gaze swung to me. “My Anja will be the one.”
“Me? No, I can’t,” I protested. No matter how much I’d wanted to end him when I found out about the curse, I couldn’t actually carve his heart out, even if he asked me to. Or could I?
“You must,” he smiled, leaning down to kiss my cheek, his words meant for me alone. “Progeny or not, I would not willingly place my heart beneath Carys’ dagger. You are the only one I trust to take only what’s needed. I submit of my own free will,” he added, much louder.
We all goggled at him, and I could only stare in mute fascination as he took my place, lying down on the loamy soil, his expression serene as he unbuttoned his shirt.
Unperturbed by the change of events, Lilias continued with the ritual. “Let the hand of fate approach,” she calle
d out. Rob backed away, staring down at Jakob as he stepped out of the circle. I approached Lilias, who once more laid the knife to my throat. “Do you submit of your own free will?”
“I do,” I replied, my words hardly more than a breath.
In one fell swoop Jakob had offered me everything I desired, salvation and revenge wrapped up into one. For all his faith about me taking only as much of his heart as was needed, I had my own doubts. This man was my Sire and I’d wanted him dead. I’d stood beside him, pencil in hand, plotting his murder in cold blood, and now Lilias set the wooden rod into my hands, giving me permission to exact that vengeance. Not even permission, it was expected of me. No one standing around the circle would say boo if I accidentally took too much and ended Jakob’s life.
The rod felt impossibly light, despite the silver tip, little more than a twig. If I grasped it too hard it might snap and I forced myself to hold it gently, like an egg. This man had caused me a world of pain and there he lay, trusting me with his life – and I didn’t want that trust.
“This won’t work,” I murmured. “I don’t love him.” There was a time when I would’ve willingly flung those words at him like a weapon, but now all I felt was pity and sorrow that it had come to this.
The corner of Jakob’s lips tugged up in amusement. “But I love you, Anja, from the moment I first beheld your delicate beauty. And that love has only grown as I learned to appreciate your strength and goodness. Only your hand will do.” His eyes held mine for a long moment before he let out a long, drawn out sigh, looking up at Bishop who stood next to the circle. “Brace yourself, Ulrik. This may sting.”
“No!” Guessing what was coming next, Carys rushed forward, but Rob caught hold of her with difficulty, keeping her out of the circle.
“You can’t help him now, only one thing can,” Rob hissed.
“Jakob, no, it’ll kill him!” Carys broke Rob’s hold on her even as Bishop staggered to his knees, a low cry of pain issuing from his lips as Jakob released his compulsion over her. Awash in emotion, Carys wept as she gathered Bishop up in her arms, his face deeply etched with suffering as he felt the full brunt of the curse for the first time in centuries.
I was already three steps closer to where Bishop fell before I realized I couldn’t leave the circle and I ran back to Jakob, falling to my knees beside him. “Can’t you stop the compulsion after the curse is broken when it’s safe? What if he doesn’t survive this?”
“If this fails and I die, it will be the same,” he said gravely. “If I am merely diminished, I will be unable to remove the compulsion for some time. It seemed a kinder cruelty this way.”
Lilias chanted low and unintelligible in the background, and Bishop seemed to recover slightly after a few seconds, sitting up to watch the proceedings from Carys’ lap. Now there was even more at stake. How could I even contemplate killing Jakob when it might kill Bishop at the same time if the ritual didn’t work?
I released him then, too caught up in the memory to tell if it’d worked or not. He didn’t resist as I pulled my finger away, his lips slack as his eyes opened, a haunting pain there I’d never seen before.
“You never loved me,” he said simply.
It’d worked! It was hard to be excited about it though when confronted with his pain. “Not the way you wanted me to, no. How could I when you were responsible for so much death and destruction of people I loved? But that sacrifice showed me you were capable of change, of thinking of others before yourself. That’s why I chose to show it to you. Do you see now? How many people you hurt with the curse? And your feud with Lodinn?”
He nodded, uncharacteristically silent. “And I loved you above all others, above even Carys.”
“That was the first time I’d ever heard of it, and it did touch me to know you cared for me so much. But we’re not well suited for each other, Jakob.”
“You have given me much to think on,” he said, nodding again.
“I’m glad. I really hope this helps you, Jakob. You’re a good person, and if you could learn to put others first in the future, then maybe you can do it here in the past too.”
“And will you love me then?”
It broke my heart to see such naked need in his eyes. But I couldn’t give him what he wanted, and it wasn’t fair to let him hope. “You and I want different things in life,” I said gently. “You want someone to help you see the world with new eyes. Someone you can shelter and protect. And I want someone who can view me as their equal. We’ll never have that.”
“And you had this with Ulrik?”
“I did.” A wave of emotion rolled over me, knocking me for a loop as it did sometimes when the enormity of what I’d lost hit me. “I really did.”
“Then go with my blessing, petal. I wish you a lifetime of happiness.”
“Thanks, Jakob. I wish the same for you too.”
“Go now, I would be alone.”
I leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. “I’ll see you again someday, Jakob. And if you decide not to turn me in the future, I’ll understand. If you think it would be easier...” I wasn’t sure how that might change the world I went back to, but all I had left was a single lifetime to spend with Bishop anyway. What difference would it make if I spent it as a human?
“We will see each other again someday, my Anja. Have no fear of that.”
Chapter Twenty-One
A mere slip of a girl had Bishop treading the halls of Vetis with fear in his heart. Fear of what would happen if he were to encounter her, and fear of what would happen should he not.
How had things gotten so out of control so quickly? One moment they stood pledging their hearts to each other, and the next she spun faerie stories of time travel and entirely too many details of his own death. How was he to take such a proclamation? Surely she didn’t expect him to accept it all. Did she? That look on her face, the earnest pleading turning to righteous anger when he hadn’t believed her... He’d been more than halfway to accepting her at her word, but how could he? How could he accept such a fantastic tale?
All he could do was focus on work, the one thing to carry him through in troubling times. It always had before when his emotions threatened to swallow him whole following Carys’ death. But this time, there was little comfort to be had in his paperwork, and the hunt held no thrill.
And now the men were avoiding him, or his temper rather, and Bishop couldn’t blame them. He’d always been a strict taskmaster, but in the days following the argument with Anja, he’d turned waspish and unreasonable. Only Clay continued to report to him, and probably because he had little choice as his second in command. When he came in to drop off the updated duty roster, Bishop made an effort to thank him, even going so far as to offer a faint smile.
Clay took the opportunity to ask, “Excuse me, but are you well, sir?”
“We’ve talked about this, Clay, you don’t have to call me sir. You’re set to take over in my stead once things are established at this chapter. We are peers.”
“Fine, then if we are peers, will you condescend to answer the question?” Clay pressed, falling into step beside him when Bishop kept on going. It was harder to hit a moving target, and as long as he kept moving the odds were he could avoid seeing Anja altogether.
“I am as you see me,” Bishop replied as if he didn’t understand the question. “Simply busy setting everything into motion. I hope to return to Rome within a fortnight.”
“So soon?” Clay’s brows rose. “I can think of a certain someone who will be sad to see you go. Or will you be taking someone with you?”
“No, I intend to keep the full complement of men here in place. In fact, if you think you’ll need more, let me know and I’ll see to it you’re sent reinforcements.”
“That’s hardly who I meant,” Clay smirked, and it was only with the greatest exercise in patience that Bishop avoided striking out at him.
“I have no intention of bringing anyone back with me. Does that satisfy your curiosity?”
“And will you see her before you leave or will you simply depart? She inquires after you every night. I’m running out of things to tell her.”
“Does she seem...? Never mind.” Bishop shook his head. Better not to go borrowing trouble. Of course she was bound to be upset with how they’d left things. His Anja had a tender heart. No, not his Anja... it was over before it had barely begun, unless he was to accept her version of the truth. And that, he was not ready to do.
“Whatever happened between the two of you...” Clay held up a hand when Bishop would’ve interrupted. “And it’s none of my business what transpired. I only ask that you give the lady the respect she deserves. If you would not treat with her, then say so. She’s like to break my heart.”
“Don’t you know, Clay? We none of us have hearts. That’s what makes the Order so effective.”
“That smacks entirely too much of bitterness for me,” Clay chuckled. “Speak for yourself, I have heart a plenty. Enough to share with a lady of that quality should she chance to look favorably upon me.”
Was he saying he had designs on Anja of his own? Bishop saw red, and in the space between one heartbeat and the next, he had Clay pinned to the wall, hands full of his lapels. “You’ll share nothing with Anja while I’ve breath in my body, is that clear?” he growled, though his anger quickly deflated in the sight of Clay’s foolish grin.
“Then you do care for Anja.”
Bishop let go of him with a scowl. “Of course I do, that was never in question.”
“Then why...?”
“It’s complicated,” he said with a deflating sigh. “Suffice to say that for the moment, we are at an impasse. One that leaves us stranded in very different territory.”
Clay was silent as they climbed the flights of stairs leading to the house proper, and when he spoke again, his voice was respectful, but firm. “Bishop, you’ve been a good mentor, so let me offer you a piece of advice. You’ve given your all for the Order these past hundred years and it’s served you well. But should you seek to survive a hundred more, you have to find some kind of balance.”