“We won’t let those cowards stop us, Chief. Too much is at stake for them too.”
“Cowards they may be, Captain, but they have purpose in a world that is still trying to find its own. We can’t underestimate that. If we do, they won’t just terrorize, they will conquer.”
CHAPTER 30: Help Him
BLOC Section, Base Tranquility
Sunday, April 18, 2027
Sometimes I wonder why we even bother rescuing the good when they always seem to be hurt in the end, especially now that this new evil rises. The best of humanity has finally mounted its defense, only to be met once again by an attack of the worst. Why bother when some always continue to hurt? Why? Why must the good always suffer?
After the Coast Guard rescued my grandfather and I from our home I thought we had beaten a cruel fate but only one of us eventually would. Even though rescued by good, he was still taken by evil, evil that I could have stopped. My grandfather died for nothing, just as hundreds now do at the hands of these monsters. So much waste. Now I find myself struggling to help find some way to stop this new evil, knowing I’ve been beaten by it before…
“Captain,” Dr. Frydryck called. “Captain, are you alright?”
“Mhmm, oh, yes. Sorry doctor,” sputtered William, straightening up on the couch.
“So, this is our third meeting. How are you doing Will?” asked Dr. Frydryck.
It was indeed their third session. William’s two weeks of academic-only training were over and was poised to start in the Yard that coming Monday.
“Doctor, I’m doing… well,” William sighed comfortably. “I haven’t had a panic attack since my first day here - ”
“Which was over three weeks ago, yes?”
“Right.”
“And you say your nightmares are decreasing in frequency?”
“Yeah, the last one I had was five days ago.”
“Excellent.” Dr. Frydryck wrote something down on a plastic clipboard that had a New Orleans Saints logo on it. William was not much of a sports fan. He only recognized it because he was from New Orleans himself.
“Now, Captain Emerson, tell me how your first two weeks have been? What have you learned?”
“It was a little weird being in uh… school again, I guess. I have always liked learning and most of the subjects are really interesting but some are kinda boring. Maybe it’s the teachers.”
They both laughed.
“UNIRO Structure and Organization with Dr. Smith?” asked Dr. Frydryck.
“Yeah, that’s it! Oh man, she’s bad.”
“I fell asleep many times in it. Don’t be ashamed,” laughed the doctor, slapping his knee.
“I have almost, too. But, no, really, it has been great and it has kept me very busy. This base has a lot to know about it. It could keep someone asking questions for years. It's kept me busy to the point where I am exhausted by the end of the day but I don’t want to stop. I just want to keep going to do more things and meet new people. I like the distraction. I need it.”
“Uh huh,” said Dr. Frydryck, writing something down on his pad. “Why do you say that Captain?”
“Because I still doubt. What I can rise to be, what people want me to be, what they see me as. My doubt makes me see what I am starting to feel as some dream or… illusion.”
“What are you starting to feel?”
“Confidence,” smiled William, “more so than I can ever remember. People compliment me and look up to me, I think, and that’s a good feeling, especially since I think of myself as not being worth much to look up to, not yet at least. Like my second in command for instance, Lieutenant Jeon. He will not stop saying things about me to others at training or dinner, but good things, you know, like what a good leader I am or how cool our squadron will be and stuff. He won’t stop about me.”
“Well, he has a lot to look up to. Captain, has anyone ever told you that you need to give yourself more credit?”
“Yeah, actually,” William chuckled.
“Then they are right. It is okay to think of yourself as good or respectable, especially a person in your position. When people see you being confident, which you say you are starting to feel, and when you’re in a position of leadership, that confidence can be infectious and disseminate through a group such as a squadron. Your work has been great so far and you're acclimating well back into society. You’re allowed to be proud of that and show it.”
“It's just, well, when I was in the Air Force with the pararescuers, I was not humble. I was a cocky, stubborn son of a bitch who was arrogant as hell. I wanted to save everyone and was, frankly, willing to sacrifice anyone to do that, even my own men.”
“And why was that, Captain? Why were you arrogant?”
The doctor leaned forward on his couch and put his elbow on his knee and rested his head on his hand. William felt he should not have said that but with Dr. Frydryck things just came out. This was getting very personal for William but he could do it, he was ready. Air in his throat started to pass through more easily as he accepted he should disclose his past.
“I was arrogant because, because I wanted to overcome… Umm, I’m sorry doctor. This is hard.”
“Take your time, Captain. You don’t need to say anything you don’t want to. Remember, this is all confidential too, no one hears all this but you and I.”
William started to sweat a little and became fidgety on his couch cushion; then he grabbed a pillow and held it on his lap, as if trying to hide what he wanted to say behind it. The med-bracelet was pulsating. But he knew he had to tell, to say his past to rebuild his future. It was not to be botched up anymore.
“In my war days I had a vendetta against death itself, a vengeance against it.”
“Why pick such a fight?”
“I challenged it with every life I saved as retribution for the lives it stole from me. You remember, in our first meeting, I told you I left New Orleans as a refugee.”
“Yes.”
“Well, my home wasn’t the only thing I lost to the storm.”
“Your grandparents…”
William’s eyes began tearing. “Yes…”
“Get up to the attic!”
“My leg is trapped! Rob, my leg!”
“Poppy, don’t leave me!”
“Tracy, no…”
William closed his eyes and turned away. Dr. Frydryck didn’t say anything. He put his pen and clipboard down on the table.
“My grandmother drowned in our own home. Our home budded up against the Seventeenth Street Canal, against the portion that broke…”
“Take Will and run! Get up to the attic…”
“Around six o’clock in the morning I think, the levee gave way. In seconds the wave broke through the back of our home. Glass shattered and furniture was pushed over. It was like a tsunami. We tried to get to the attic but my grandmother got pinned under a wall unit in the hallway that led to the attic door. My grandfather tried to free her over and over again, all the while water rising higher and higher. I jumped in to, from the attic, and tried to pull her out. My grandfather pushed me away, but I kept swimming back. The current was so strong that it cracked our home right in half, right through the hallway we were all in. I watched…”
“The house is giving way Rob. Take William. Get him to safety, for me! Get him out of this city so I can go with some peace.”
“No! I’m getting you - ”
“Rob. I’m going to die. William mustn’t…”
“My grandfather tried until the water was going over his head. I watched her drown. The home broke apart and the part she was pinned in floated down the street and collapsed. Her body was never found.”
“I’m so sorry Captain. An experience of that gravity is something no one should have to go through. Her death was not your fault though. She died because of Hurricane Katrina and its devastation, not because of any failings of you or your grandfather.”
William grew irritated. “For years I took it that way though. She wa
s stolen from me. I wanted to take revenge by rescuing anyone I could, to make them avoid what had happened to me, no matter the cost. Whether that cost was to my team, or me, it did not matter. I couldn’t back down from anyone needing help. I was arrogant to my own mortality. Over the bridge I… We… We weren’t supposed…”
“You weren’t supposed to what, Will?”
“Never mind. Point is, my judgment was clouded by a vengeful anger that I hid with rescue, getting lucky over and over again that I didn’t lose anyone with my recklessness to get things done… ‘til Incheon.”
“I’m glad you channeled your grief into something positive, and brave. Many that have been down your path take a much darker route. You used your anger to give back to the world. You chose to save, Captain.”
William turned his head and looked at Dr. Frydryck. “Most of that vengeance didn’t come from my grandmothers death though, it came because of my grandfathers.”
“Why? Did the storm not take him as well?”
“No,” said William sorrowfully, tears building again. “The wind and water did not take him. He lived. He lived.”
“Then, forgive me. I do not understand what happened.”
“He is the one I could have saved. He never should I have died. I cowered in a corner and watched as he…”
“Get away from him! Will, run...”
“The Super Dome was supposed to be a place of safety. It was anything but.”
William threw the pillow he was holding as tears dripped down his face. He left the room, slamming the door behind him. Dr. Frydryck sighed deeply as he looked to the ceiling.
“Please… help him.”
CHAPTER 31: The Universe Never Wastes Anything
After dinner William slipped away to the seawall. He wanted to say some words to his grandparents. He hoped they were both listening. Above was a bright full moon that cast a vibrant bluish glaze across the ocean. The smooth light contrasted well off of his white uniform and beret, overcoming the amber lights of the wall. Something moved to his right, catching his peripheral vision off guard. William swung around and laid eyes on John, who was standing a few feet behind him with two bags of potato chips in his hands.
Once William turned around, John said loudly, “Captain!”
“Jesus, Doc, you scared the crap out of me! What are you doing here?”
“I followed you. You're not very stealthy,” chuckled John.
“You followed me?” smirked William.
“Yep! Plus, I figured you would come here a lot. It’s very nice, isn't it?”
“Uh… yeah it is. And you're right; I do come here a lot. Almost every night.”
“Every night, wow. Well, I don't blame you. It's a nice place to talk.”
“Talk?” William said, trying to sound like he did not know what John was saying.
“I may be a nerdy extrovert who is socially awkward at times, but Will, I see things that aren't just amino acids and vitamin pills. You were talking to them, weren't you? Your grandparents,” John said as he walked up next to William.
“My grandpar… what? No. I was just enjoying the breeze out here before bed.”
“It’s okay, Will. I talk to those who I have lost too sometimes. It helps, doesn't it?”
“Wait, how do you know about my grandparents? I've never told you about them, have I?”
“No, but I’ve seen your records. I had to get you here, sue me. And, and I, ugh, I,” John coughed and cleared his throat, “I can just tell because, like I said, just like you, I’ve lost someone close as well.”
“You have?”
“Oh yeah, many years ago. When I was five, I was on a plane, a small little thing our family friends had that we would take out to fly around for a while. Get some airtime, you know. It was fun. I loved it. On this one particular flight, my sister came. Her name was Maya,” he said fondly, “Maya Morrison. We used to call her M&M. She was so beautiful, Will, so full of life and love. I pushed Maya into coming along, just this once. She was afraid to fly, but I convinced her along with some help from our friends. It was a little Piper. I think it could hold five, six people, I can't remember. But anyway, we took off. The flight was amazing. My sister had a blast and I had a blast. Everything was good. On the way back to the airport the pilot, his name was Dave, a great flyer, been doing it for years, had a massive heart attack and died right then and there, right in front of us in the back seats. Just a normal guy doing his normal everyday thing. Dead. No one else in the plane was trained to fly like he was. We crashed a few hundred feet from the runway. My sister never made it. I survived with only a few cuts and a broken wrist. She was only eight.”
John rested his arms on the handrail and sighed. He did not speak for a few seconds, letting the waves replace his talking. Still, he looked happy.
“Man, she was something. The world would somehow be better if she were around today. A genius, probably.”
William was taken aback by the story. John looked like he had told it a thousand times to a thousand different people, not wavering once in emotion and even having a smile on his blue, moonlit face.
“Oh, my God, Doc. I’m so sorry. I didn’t, I didn’t know. That's why you're afraid to fly, isn't it?”
“Yeah, that's it right there. That's still our secret, okay?”
“Yeah, sure. I’ve haven't had many to tell anyways until now.”
John laughed.
“My God,” said William, still dismayed at the story, feeling sorry for John. But John was not feeling sorry for John. His smile never left.
“Well, I don't know about God,” he said pointing an index finger into the air, “but I do believe the universe never wastes anything. When I talk to her I know she is all around me still. The warmth that flowed through her is still around us. The energy she gave off still exists. Every particle’s direction that was altered by her touch and waving blonde hair has spread alterations across to others and then others, maybe even to one hitting us right now, just as your grandparents’ alterations might. You never know. She is all still here, just a bit less… orderly, I guess,” John chuckled.
“Trust me, Will, the universe would never waste something as beautiful as a person's consciousness. When you're talking out here by yourself, they can hear you, your grandparents, my sister. She still lives somewhere looking out at us and I hope she is happy with what she sees. That's why I became a doctor in the Air Force, so that I could save people and get rid of my fear of flying all at once. Unfortunately, that last one has not happened yet.”
“But you do it,” William said.
“Yes, I do it. I do it because life doesn't wait for you to stop and think about what you're going to do next. You just sit tight and explore the new direction, the new plan. I didn't let it beat me; it helped me, just as still talking to her still helps me. I’ve learned to live with it, my friend, just as you are right now. I don’t shy away from the fear, I embrace it.”
“Oh yeah, but I - ”
“Before you discourage yourself or act modest again, thinking you’re not good at controlling your life, I’ll tell you another little secret, Captain. That med bracelet you're wearing...”
William looked down at it on his wrist as John pointed to it, still holding the chip bags.
“It's fake, a placebo,” smiled John. “All it does is inject water into your skin. Cool, huh?”
“What! This thing has been fake the whole time?!” cried William.
“The whole time,” said John. “And have things not been better?”
“They have...”
“Yep. You have been getting better because of you! All with only your un-medicated mind and will.”
“Did Dr. Frydryck know about this?”
“Nope, just me and now you! Darn. I’m a good doctor. Ha! Could have been a psychiatrist myself.”
“Forgive me, Colonel, but you are one slick son of a bitch. A placebo, really?”
“Yes,” John said, so pleased with himself.
&n
bsp; “So, then I really did control all of my emotions.”
“Yes, again.”
“Why are you telling me this now? Shouldn't you have waited until after tomorrow, after physical starts, when I wasn't under so much pressure?”
John opened one of his chip bags and then offered the other to William but he declined the offer.
“No,” said John, taking a chomp at a chip.
“No? What do you mean no?”
“No,” John said, chewing away, “because this shows you that you can do anything you want with only you doing it. You have the ability to just move on, to take life and explore what you wish. Tomorrow, when you meet your team for the first time and lead, your new life will truly begin separate but equal to the past. And you're going to kick butt at it. If I could get my skinny, tiny butt through the Yard and lead then you definitely will too, tough guy.”
William looked away. All he said softly was, “Thanks, Doc.”
John chomped on his chips, knowing William probably wanted to compliment more but did not know how. That was okay with him.
“What does it involve?” asked William after maybe a minute of silence.
“Ummm, lots of climbing… yeah. Lots and lots of climbing.”
CHAPTER 32: The Yard
Interchangeable Disaster Environment Scenario Simulation Zone, BLOC Section, Base Tranquility
Monday, April 19, 2027
“Delta Group! Fall in line!”
“Yes, sir!”
In a single file line William and Seong’s trainee group stood to attention before Major Hansen, in a garage-like room the size of a small gymnasium. Its ceiling was low and had trusses spanning across it with low hanging lights. Bare concrete walls and a floor to match had a number of warning lights and speakers with black and yellow caution stripes painted on the floor in a series of boxes and lanes.
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