Lindsey Davis - Falco 01 - Silver Pigs

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by Silver Pigs(lit)


  “You’ve had your hair cut!” Helena Justina accused, muttering at me sideways as we went.

  “Like it?”

  “No,” she reported frankly. “I liked you with your curls.”

  Praise be to Jupiter, the girl was still herself. I glared in return at her modishly frazzled topknot.

  “Well lady, since we’re on the subject of curls, I liked you better without!”

  Vespasian’s banquets were extremely old-fashioned; the waitresses kept their clothes on and he never poisoned the food.

  Vespasian was not a keen entertainer, though he gave regular banquets; he gave them to cheer up the people he invited and to keep caterers in funds. As a republican I refused to be impressed. Attending one of the Emperor’s well-run dinners made me feel morose. I deny any recollection of what the menu was; I kept adding up how much it must have cost. Luckily Vespasian was seated too far away for me to tell him my views. He looked pretty silent. Knowing him, he too was totting up the damage to the privy purse.

  Halfway through my refusing to enjoy myself, an usher tapped my shoulder. Helena Justina and I were slid out from the meal so skilfully I was still carrying a lobster claw and she had one cheek bulging with half-eaten squid-in-its-ink. A cloakroom slave whisked me into my toga, achieving in five seconds a dignified drape that back at home had taken me an hour; a shoe-boy had us respectably re shod an escort led us to a lavish anteroom, two spear-carriers gave way to a bronzed inner door, a doorman opened it, the escort announced our names to a chamberlain, the chamberlain repeated them to his boy, the boy recited them again in a clear voice with only the fact that he got both slightly wrong spoiling an otherwise portentous effect. We passed inside. A slave who until then had been doing nothing in particular accepted what was left of my lobster claw.

  A curtain dropped, muffling the outside noise. A young man - a man my own age, not over tall, with a jutting chin that was sprouting marble copies throughout Rome bounded from a purple-draped chair. His body was hard as a brick; his energy made me groan. The gold braid acanthus leaves on the hem of his tunic rolled in padded waves an inch thick round a band four inches deep. He waved away the attendants and rushed forwards to greet us himself.

  “Please come in! Didius Falco? I wanted to congratulate you on your efforts in the north.”

  There was no need for Helena to touch my arm in warning. I knew who he was at once, and at once I understood who both my employers were. I was not, as I had assumed until then, working at the direction of some snobbish secretariat of oriental freedmen lurking in the lower echelons of Palace protocol.

  It was Titus Caesar himself.

  XLII

  He had just spent five years in the desert, but by Jove he was fit. He was bursting with talent. You could see at once how he carried off commanding a legion at twenty-six, then mobilized half the Empire to win his father’s throne.

  Titus Flavins Vespasianus. The back of my throat, which had been tingling from a fiercely peppered sauce, rasped with dry ash. Two employers: Titus and Vespasian. Or two rather important victims, if we got it wrong.

  This cheery young general was supposed to be locked in siege warfare at Jerusalem; he had evidently dealt with Jerusalem, and I quite believed that he swept up in his conquest the fabulous Judaean queen. Who could blame him? Whatever anyone thought of her background and morals (she had once married her uncle and was rumoured to sleep with her brother the king), Queen Berenice was the most beautiful woman in the world.

  “Helena Justina!”

  My teeth ground on a fragment of lobster shell. Having pocketed a queen for himself, he need not have encroached so keenly on my personal naiad. I could tell he had impressed her by the quiet way she asked him, “You want to talk to Falco, sir; shall I withdraw?”

  A pang of panic caught me when I thought that she might, but he waved us both rapidly into the room.

  “No please; this concerns you too.”

  We were in a chamber twenty-foot-high where painted figures from mythology leapt lightly about fantastic panels beneath arbours of intricate flowers. Every conceivable surface was lacquered with gold leaf. I blinked.

  “Sorry about the dazzle,” Titus smiled. “Nero’s obscene idea of good taste. My poor father is in a quandary, as you can imagine, whether to put up with it or commit funds to building yet another new Palace on the site.”

  I envied them the problem of whether to keep the Palace they already owned, or buy a new one.

  Titus carried on gravely. “Some of the rooms are so disgusting we have had to seal them up. With a complex that sprawls across three of the Seven Hills we are still hard put to find modest family accommodation, let alone a really functional public suite. Still, more urgent projects first’ I had not come here to bandy taste in decor but he changed pace, indicating business, so I relaxed. “My father has asked me to see you informally, because a public audience might be dangerous. Your news about the stolen ingots being stripped of their silver has been hinted to the Praetorians. They seemed interested to hear it, loyal as they are!” He was ironic without appearing cynical.

  It still leaves the conspirators at large I replied.

  “Let me bring you up to date. This morning we arrested Atius Pertinax Marcellus. The evidence was thin, but we must find out who else is involved. So…” He hesitated.

  The Mamertine Jail?” I asked. The political cells?”

  Princes had died in them; the cells were notorious. Helena Justina drew a sharp breath. Titus told her, almost without apology, “Not for long. He had a visitor quite against the rules don’t yet know who. Half an hour later the prison guards found him strangled.”

  “Oh no!”

  He sprang this news of her husband’s death quite casually; Helena Justina was visibly moved. So was I. I had promised myself the pleasure of dealing with Pertinax. It seemed typical that he chose the kind of associates who robbed me of the chance.

  “Helena Justina, did you and Pertinax remain on good terms?”

  “No terms at all.” Her answer was steady.

  He stared at her thoughtfully: “Are you mentioned in his will?”

  “No. He was generous when we divided our property, then he made a new will.”

  “You discussed that?”

  “No. But my uncle was one of the witnesses.”

  “Have you spoken to Atius Pertinax since your return from abroad?”

  “No.”

  Then will you tell me,” Titus Caesar requested coolly, ‘why you went to his house today?”

  The Emperor’s son was landing the kind of shocks I like to use myself. He had slid from pleasantries into inquisition in one seamless move. Helena answered him in her calm, positive way, though this turn of events plainly caught her unprepared.

  “I had some idea, sir, knowing him, that I would face him with what we believed. His people told me he was not there ‘

  “No.” In the Mamertine; already dead. Titus looked slyly at me. “So why did you go, Falco?”

  “Stepping in, in case her man should turn uncouth.”

  At that he smiled, then turned back to Helena; she had whisked towards me with a jerk of her head so the beaten gold disks on her antique earrings trembled in a slight shower of rustling sound. Ignoring her reproach, I prepared to intervene if Titus overstepped the mark.

  The Pertinax will has a codicil,” he announced. “Written only yesterday, with new witnesses. It demands an explanation.”

  “I know nothing about it,” Helena stated. Her face became tense.

  Ts this necessary, Caesar?” I interrupted lightly. His jaw set but I persisted. “Excuse me, sir. A woman summoned to the law courts expects a friend to speak for her.”

  “I imagine Helena Justina can answer for herself!”

  “Oh she can!” I gave him a swift grin. That’s why you may prefer to deal with me!”

  She sat in silence, as a woman should when she is being formally discussed by men. Her eyes remained on me. I liked that; though his Cae
sarship seemed none too keen.

  “Your lady is not in court,” Titus remarked quietly, but I saw I had checked him. “Falco, I thought you were working for us! Don’t we pay you enough?” A man whose heart has been seduced by the world’s most beautiful woman can be excused his romantic streak.

  “Frankly, your rates are on the meagre side,” I told him without a flicker.

  He smiled faintly. Everyone knew Vespasian was tight with cash.

  “I’m afraid the new Emperor is famous for that! He needs four hundred million sesterces to restore the Empire to prosperity, and in his list of priorities you stand somewhere after rebuilding the Temple of Jupiter and draining the great lake in Nero’s Golden House. He’ll be relieved Helena Justina is ensuring you don’t starve! So, Didius Falco, as her friend in court, let me tell you your client’s ex-husband has left her a rather unusual bequest.”

  “Any bequest from that leaking pustule is unusual in my book. What is it?” I demanded.

  Titus sucked the back of his thumbnail, though it was perfectly manicured.

  “The contents of a pepper warehouse in Nap Lane,” he said.

  XLIII

  I concealed my excitement, thinking fast.

  “What do you think he had in mind, sir?”

  “I have had men searching to find out.”

  “Anything there?”

  “Nothing for us. For the lady, a lavish pantry of spices and enough perfume to bathe like Cleopatra every day of her life.” He turned, with a changed tone. “Helena Justina, has this upset you? Pertinax had no family except his adoptive father; perhaps he retained affection from when you were his wife.”

  That did upset her. I sat still; it was not for me to tell her whether Pertinax felt affectionate or whether she should want him to.

  Titus went on worrying her, while her startled brain spun.

  “A traitor’s goods are forfeit-but recognizing your assistance, my father wishes your legacy to stand. In due course, this gift will be released to you ‘

  She was frowning. I would have liked to watch Helena demolish a Caesar, if only as a variation from demolishing me. Instead I advised sensibly, “Helena Justina, you ought to tell Titus Caesar now about the people who came to your husband’s house, the ones we discussed at Massilia.” Mentioning Massilia I tensed, trying not to think about the error I made at the inn. Helena received my encouragement as noncommittally as always.

  Helena Justina repeated the story for Titus in her straightforward style. He demanded names; she stated her list. I remembered some of them this time, though they still meant nothing to me: Aufidius Crispus, Curtius Gordianus, Gordianus’ brother Longinus, Faustus Ferentinus, Cornelius Gracilis…

  Titus jumped for a notebook, making swift strokes with a stylus in rapid shorthand, omitting the bother or danger of calling in a secretary. He was famous for the speed of his own shorthand anyway.

  While he studied the names I enquired, “Is it indiscreet to ask whether your brother was coerced?”

  He answered me coldly, and without expression: “No material evidence implicates Domitian.” He had been a barrister; it was a barrister’s reply. Suddenly he became restless. “Do you know why I rushed home? Rumour!” he exploded. “I had attended the consecration of the Apis Bull at Memphis. I was crowned with a diadem it is part of the normal ritual so Rome decides I am setting myself up as Emperor in the East!”

  “The word at my barber’s this afternoon,” I commented, ‘was that even your father had doubts!”

  “Then your barber should have seen us both when I rushed into the Palace yesterday crying Father, here I am! As for my brother, in the civil war he nearly lost his life on the Capitol while the Temple of Jupiter burned over his head. My uncle, who would have advised him, had just been murdered by supporters of Vitellius. At eighteen, with no political experience, Domitian discovered himself representing the Emperor in Rome. It was completely unexpected. He made choices that were foolish, as he realizes now. No one can ask me to condemn my brother, simply because he is so young!”

  I caught Helena’s eye; neither of us spoke.

  Titus massaged his forehead.

  “What’s the word at your barber’s about this tangle, Falco?”

  That your fainer hates disloyalty, but that he always listens to you. That while you were both at Alexandria, Vespasian lost his temper when he heard about your brother’s intended foray into the German revolt against him, but you convinced him to be lenient with Domitian.” Since he did not deny it I added cheerily, “You’ll have spotted I choose my barber for his sharp information, sir!” Helena Justina glanced mournfully, I thought, at my lost curls; I tried not to look at her. “So what now, Caesar?”

  Titus sighed. “My father has asked the Senate to award him a ceremonial Triumph. We shall celebrate the capture of Jerusalem in the grandest procession Rome has ever seen. If you have children, take them; they will view nothing like it in their lives again. It will be our gift to the city and I dare say in return the future of the Flavian dynasty is assured.”

  It was Helena who assessed the situation. “Your father’s two grown sons are one of his attractions as Emperor,” she remarked thoughtfully. “The Flavians are offering Rome long-term stability, so you and Domitian must both ride in the parade. Everything must appear harmonious ‘

  Titus ducked that: “By the end of this week my father’s position will be established. Falco, the word at my barber’s is, neither the Praetorians nor my brother will cooperate now in opposing my father. These people will wish to run to earth and let bygones be done. Now I hold this list of names I’m inclined to let them run ‘

  I gave him a long stare, then scoffed, “So you go to your barber for his cutting!”

  Titus Caesar had a vigorous bunch of locks, snipped to look smart below his gilded wreath, but long enough to keep the handsome curl. I hate good-looking men, especially when they keep glancing at the woman who came with me.

  “What does that mean, Falco?” Titus asked, not amused.

  “On the strength of his information, sir, your barber’s a villain.”

  “Falco!”

  That was Helena, trying to save me from drowning again, but I careered on. “He’s wrong for two reasons, as the fact that people felt it necessary to silence Pertinax should convince you.” Titus quite mildly encouraged me to continue. “Caesar, neither you nor I can let these traitors go. Even with Triferus cheating them, they hold a handy baulk of Imperial silver, which your father needs. Another reason, with due respect, is a bright, golden, loyal, sixteen-year-old girl called Sosia Camillina.”

  Helena Justina was looking at me so steadily I felt odd. I stood my ground against them both.

  Titus Caesar ran the fingers of both hands through his wellkept hair.

  “You are perfectly right. My barber’s a villain,” he said.

  He gazed at me for a moment. “People underestimate you, Falco.” “People underrated Vespasian for sixty years!” “Fools still do. Let me tell you his instructions.” They had tried to bamboozle me. Titus still wanted to shuffle me off and allow the case against Domitian to die quietly, but I noticed he had a speech ready in case the attempt should fail. He leaned forward earnestly.

  “Omit my brother’s name from your enquiries. Find the silver and the murderer of that innocent young girl. Most importantly, identify the man who planned all this.”

  I suggested increasing my rates; he decided that for the same enquiry they would pay the same. Always a fool for logic, I accepted it.

  “But I cannot omit Domitian - ‘

  “You must,” Titus told me flatly.

  Then the curtain behind us suddenly swung open. I began to twist round to investigate, when the person who had come in unannounced started whistling. With a shock, I recognized the tune.

  It was a song about Vespasian; about Titus; about Berenice. Soldiers sang it with a slow, low, leery lurch at the end of the night. They sang it in bars and in brothels, with both envy and appr
oval, but no soldier I had ever met would repeat it here. The words went:

  Oh the old man smiled!

  Then the young man smiled!

  So the Queen of all the Jews

  She really couldn’t lose

  All she had to do was choose When the old man, And the young man smiled!

  Only one person would dare to whistle so outrageously in the presence of a Caesar: another Caesar. Vespasian was presiding over his banquet, so I knew who our rash visitor must be.

  Domitian, Titus Caesar’s younger brother: the imperial playboy who was implicated in our plot.

  XLIV

  “That must have been a contest, brother!”

  “Not all of life is a contest,” Titus calmly said.

  For Domitian, the courtesy title of Caesar seemed a fragile irony. He had the family curls, the creased Flavian chin, the bull neck, square body and stocky build. Somehow he failed to convince. He was ten years younger than Titus, which explained both his resentment and his brother’s protective loyalty. He was twenty, his face still cherubic and soft.

  “Sorry!” he exclaimed. My first impression was that he shared his brother’s ability to disarm. My second impression was, he acted well. “What’s this affairs of state?” I remembered how Domitian’s role in the state had been terminated briskly by their imperial papa.

  “Man called Didius Falco,” Titus told him, sounding the general. “Relation of a decurion in my legion in Judaea.”

  It finally struck me that I owed this commission to my own brother. Vespasian and Titus knew Festus, so they trusted me. Not for the first time in my life, I viewed big brother with mixed feelings. Not for the first time in this case, I felt hideously slow.

  As if it had been prearranged, a servant issued me with a sack of coin I could hardly lift. Titus declared in a measured voice, That is my personal gift to your mother, Didius Falco, as commander of the Fifteenth Legion Apollinaris. A small compensation for the support she has lost. Didius Festus was irreplaceable to both of us.”

 

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