by Dena Christy
Nick tried to continue down the hall but Eric held him back. He needed to get a promise from his brother, and now was the time to do it.
“If I have to be put down, can you do it and make sure it’s quick and painless?” Eric looked his brother in the eyes for the first time since getting to Kingston. He had seen what happened to those who had gone against the Order, and he didn’t want to go through that. He also didn’t want Samara to be the one who had to put him down if it became necessary. As much hurt and resentment as he felt toward her right now, he still wanted to protect her from that.
Nick sighed. “It will kill me to do it, but if the treatment doesn’t work, and if you do go feral, then yes, I’ll see it done. It will be quick.”
Eric followed his brother down the hall, hoping that the treatment did work. He wasn’t ready to die just yet.
CHAPTER 20
“ Can you just take me home?” Samara asked Hadria as they drove away from the airport. All she wanted to do was go home and lick her emotional wounds. She had been through hell tonight, and she just wanted to be alone.
“I can’t take you home, honey. Cadric wants to see you as soon as we get into town.”
“What does he want?” she asked as she closed her eyes and leaned her head against the car window. Fighting for control of her demon had knocked her on her ass now that the adrenaline was gone.
“I don’t know, but I don’t think it’s good. This mission has been a disaster from the start and I think he wants to hear your take on it. Do you want me to go with you to his office?”
“No, I can do this on my own. Besides, Cadric wouldn’t tolerate it even if I did want you there.”
The rest of the short drive passed in silence. When they pulled up in front of the Tower House, Samara could see Nick’s car, but no sign of either Nick or Eric. Just the thought of Eric and what he would be going through sent a stabbing pain through her. He was so angry with her that he wouldn’t even look at her. She had to find a way to get through to him.
She and Hadria entered the Tower House and made their way to the tunnels beneath the property. Samara tensed as they walked down the long corridor. Even though it had been a long time since anyone other than them had used the tunnels or basement, she could still feel the lingering anger and despair embedded in the walls. She always had to brace herself when she walked through here. Tonight the negative feelings chipped away at her, further draining her.
They made their way up to the first floor and Cadric’s office. When Samara saw his closed door, her stomach rolled. She was rarely hauled into Cadric’s office for a private meeting, but when she was she usually had good reason to be nervous. It meant that Cadric was pissed. Not that he would yell, or be abusive. You could gauge the level of his anger by how long he sat with his eyes closed, taking deep breaths after you explained whatever happened.
“I’ll see you later,” Hadria said before turning and walking back down the hall.
Samara took a deep breath and reached up to knock on Cadric’s door. At least she had changed her clothes while she was on the plane, and wouldn’t have to meet her boss in the ragged, bloody clothes she’d worn at the compound. She heard Cadric’s voice rumble for her to enter, and she wiped her palms down the sides of her jeans before reaching for the doorknob.
Samara entered the office, and her mouth dropped open with shock when she took in the sight of her boss sitting behind his desk. She could see just how much shit she was going to be in by how disheveled he looked.
His short blond hair stood up on end as if he had run his fingers through it a thousand times. He hadn’t shaved, and he was wearing a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt that had seen better days. Samara swallowed hard when his deep blue eyes pinned her to the spot.
“Close the door, sit down and tell me what the fuck happened.”
“Alex betrayed us,” Samara began as she closed the door and slouched down in a chair. If his swearing was any sign, this debriefing was not going to go well, so she tried to make herself as small in her chair as possible.
“I realize that. What I want to know is why you didn’t inform me immediately when you got to the compound that Alex was there. You should have known his being there was suspicious. You are familiar, as everyone is, with the rule about contact between members during a mission.”
Samara licked her lips, wondering how best to approach this. If she lied, she would still be in shit, since Cadric could sense when you were lying. The truth would make things a lot worse for her. Samara watched Cadric raise one of his eyebrows and drum his fingers on the top of his desk.
“I didn’t call you because I wasn’t suspicious of Alex at first,” Samara said, opting to tell as much of the truth as she could.
“Why wouldn’t you be suspicious of him when he showed up at the compound?” A lethal softness took hold of Cadric’s voice, and Samara knotted her hands in her lap as she looked up at him.
“I knew he was going there. Eric and I met up with him before we got to the compound.”
Samara’s mouth went dry when Cadric closed his eyes and she heard him slowly inhale through his nose.
“And why didn’t you call me when he met up with you? Surely your suspicions would have been aroused by his appearance.”
“I thought Hadria had sent him to check on me, and he alluded to the same thing so as to avoid my suspicions.”
“Why would Hadria send him to check up on you? You had better tell me what the hell went on. I have reports that Alex betrayed the Order, and you had contact with him before you went to Horn’s compound. I also have other reports that you lost control while at the compound, changed to your demon form and hurt a member of the team. And now you tell me that Hadria had reasons for concern about you? You’d better start talking.”
“Hadria is always concerned about me.” Samara could see that her weak attempt at levity didn’t go over well. “When I met Eric I couldn’t control him. My mind control doesn’t work on him. I have been unable to control my emotions as well as I should have, and when they attacked him at the compound, I lost it. It won’t happen again.”
“You’re right, it won’t happen again,” Cadric said as he looked at her, a dull red color staining his cheeks. “I’m afraid I have no choice but to suspend you. Until you are able to get yourself under control, you are a liability to us.”
“Cadric, please. Don’t do this to me. The Order is all I have. Please don’t take it away from me.” Her voice cracked with the effort of suppressing the lump forming on her throat. This could not be happening. He could not be taking away the only family she had ever known.
“Samara,” Cadric began, and she could read the compassion in his eyes. “I have to. Your loss of control endangered the team sent to help you. Until you get your shit together, I have no choice but to suspend you. I’m sorry.”
Samara sat there looking at him, a tear rolling down her cheek. Eric wouldn’t acknowledge that she existed anymore and now her place in the Order was taken away from her. She stood and swiped a hand across her cheek, then took a deep breath and nodded before she turned to the door.
“Before you go, I want you to go to the infirmary to have some blood work done. I know about the wolf attack, and I want to make sure that you will suffer no ill effects from it.”
Samara paused on her way out the door and nodded again. She left Cadric’s office and made her way to the infirmary, hoping she could hold it together until she got home. The last thing she needed was for other members see the Order’s number one assassin bawling her eyes out. Once she was in her apartment she would have the luxury of falling apart.
ERIC WALKED in the front door of his brother Rowan’s house, feeling like years had passed, instead of days, since he left. The house no longer held taunting images of Chelsea and his brother. As he stood in the front hall, the only image crowding his head was that of Samara. He looked at the spot where he had given her pleasure on the night they first met. Closing his eyes with a growl, h
e grabbed his bag and headed for the guest room.
When he entered the room he threw his bag on the bed and sat down beside it, his head buried in his hands. No matter how hard he tried to forget her, she was there in his mind, taunting him. The sight of her when she killed Alex was an image captured in his nightmares, only it was Rowan he saw her killing, not Alex. How close had she come to doing it?
Sighing with frustration, he took his bag and put it on top of the dresser. He yanked open the dresser and stuffed his clothes in one of the drawers, not caring they ended up in a balled heap. He looked inside the bag, and blinked when he thought he saw something glittering in the bottom. He reached in and pulled out a slender gold chain, and immediately recognized it as the one Samara wore around her waist. It must have gotten mixed up with his things while they were traveling.
Wrapping the chain around his fist, he stared down at it. It was just another potent reminder of her, when he didn’t need any more. And yet, for some reason he could not bring himself to destroy it. He unfurled it from his hand and tucked it into his pocket. It sat there like a talisman, calling him to her. He had to ignore it. He could not risk opening himself up to her again. He knew there was only one way to get her out of his mind, so he reached for his cell phone and called Nick.
When his brother answered the phone, Eric didn’t even bother with preamble.
“Do I have to stay in Kingston to finish my rounds of shots, or can I get them done anywhere?”
“You can get them done anywhere, I suppose. Why, you planning on leaving town soon?”
“Yeah, it’s time to move on. My reason for being here is gone. Rowan isn’t missing, and we’ve destroyed Horn’s research, so there is no reason to stick around.”
For a few moments Nick was silent on the other end, and Eric wondered if he had hung up. His brother’s next words came out with startling intensity.
“I always knew you were an asshole, I didn’t figure you were a coward too,” his brother said, the anger clear in his voice.
“What the hell are you talking about? I’ve never backed away from a fight in my life. It’s time to leave, that’s all.”
“Bullshit. Your leaving isn’t about Rowan, and it isn’t about Horn’s formula. Hell, it isn’t even about my lying about what happened to Rowan. It’s about Samara. For six years you’ve been keeping everyone at bay, but she broke through your wall, and it scares the shit out of you.”
“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. She has nothing to do with this,” Eric yelled, then took a deep breath to calm down. “Look Nick, I don’t belong here. It’s time for me to move on.”
“I know what Rowan and Chelsea did fucked you up, but don’t you think it’s time to let go of the past and trust someone again?”
“Well you see what trust has gotten me so far, so I think I’ll pass,” Eric said, his tone bitter.
“I’m not going to try to convince you to stay and work things out with her. I will tell you this: some day you are going to regret letting her slip out of your life, and I hope for your sake that it won’t be too late. Goodbye, Eric.” The call disconnected.
Eric looked at his phone, a frown creasing his brow. He walked back to the guest room, blocking out Nick’s words. His brother was just grasping at straws, trying to get him to stay, he told himself as he threw his phone into his bag. Everything he’d just put in the dresser drawer went right back into his duffle and he zipped it shut.
He hoisted his bag over his shoulder and walked to the kitchen. He called a cab to take him to the bus station, and left the house to wait outside. It didn’t take long for the cab to arrive, and as Eric settled in the back seat, he took one last look at Rowan’s house. A sick feeling settled in the pit of his stomach, and he wondered if leaving was a mistake. Dismissing the thought, he turned around to face forward, telling himself to go and not look back.
SAMARA SAT ON HER SOFA, staring at her T.V. She shoved another spoonful of Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey into her mouth. It settled in her stomach, sitting there like a rock along with the bag of M&Ms, the chips and the bottle of Pepsi she’d downed earlier. At least she had showered today and managed to get out of bed, unlike every other day for the past five days she had been home since her suspension.
She didn’t know what to do with herself, except eat crap and watch crap on television.
Her buzzer rang, and she threw her ice cream container aside. She walked to the door, a part of her hoping it was Eric on the other side.
“Yes,” she said as she depressed the talk button.
“Samara, its Nick. Can I come up?”
Samara swallowed her disappointment and pressed the unlock button. Of course Eric wouldn’t be here to see her. A brief feeling of panic flared inside her when she thought about why Nick would come here to see her.
When he knocked she flung open the door, took one look at the seriousness of his face, and blurted out what she was thinking.
“Eric hasn’t gotten worse, has he?”
“Yes, and no. Let me come in and I’ll explain,” Nick said as he stepped around her. She followed behind him, and felt her cheeks heat up when he stared at the junk food littering her coffee table.
“That stuff’s not good for you, especially now.”
“What are you talking about?” Samara asked as she walked around to face him.
“I’ll get to that in a minute. Let me assure you first that Eric is fine. The rabies shots are working, and there have been no changes to him mentally or physically.”
“Thank God,” Samara breathed before she noticed that Nick’s expression hadn’t changed. He should be looking happier than he was if his brother was out of danger. “What aren’t you telling me, Nick?”
“He’s leaving town. I’m going to take you over to Rowan’s house so we can catch him before he leaves.”
Samara turned away from him, a pain more excruciating than anything she’d ever felt stabbing her in her heart. Eric’s leaving felt ten times worse than when her mother abandoned her as child. At least with her mother she could rationalize it. With Eric there was no rationalizing his defection.
“Let him go, I’m not going to beg any man to stay with me,” Samara said, her tone laced with so much bitterness she could almost taste it on her tongue. She heard Nick’s heavy sigh before he reached out to touch her arm.
“You have to go after him, there is more to this than just you and him.”
“I don’t have to do anything, Nick. Besides, even if I convince him to stay this time, which is doubtful since he won’t talk to me, what’s to stop him from leaving next time?”
“Your child is what will stop him from leaving,” Nick said with a scowl.
Samara felt her heart stop at his words.
“What did you say?” A breathless panic rose inside her.
“When we analyzed your blood, we discovered that you are in the early stages of pregnancy.”
“That’s impossible. I can’t be pregnant. I can only have babies with a human or a full-blooded demon,” Samara said firmly.
“That was true when you were half human, but you are no longer that, now are you? You’re half wolf now, and I can assure you that you’re pregnant. Are you going to deny your child access to its father, like you were? Or are you going to give Eric a chance to stop being such an ass?”
Samara walked over to the sofa and sank down upon it. She rubbed her hand across her stomach, finding it hard to believe that a life was growing beneath its flat surface.
“Are you sure he’ll want to be involved?” she asked, her voice small. She didn’t want Eric to be with her for the sake of a child, but it appeared that she had little choice about that now.
“He’ll want to know his child. He’ll also want you in his life, I’m positive. He just needs to realize how much you’ve come to mean to him.”
“I’ll never know that now, Nick. The child complicates matters between us, and I’ll never know if he’s with me for the sake of
the child or because he wants to be with me.”
“Why don’t we go over to Rowan’s house and you can talk to him? You don’t have to tell him about the child right away, just feel him out and see how he feels about you.”
Samara nodded before she stood and reached for her jacket. “Let’s go,” she said as she headed for the door.
CHAPTER 21
Samara and Nick pulled up at Rowan’s house. She bit her lip as she looked over at Nick.
“It’ll be okay. Just go in there and talk to him.”
“Why are you doing this, Nick?” Samara asked, puzzled that he would care whether she was with Eric or not.
“I miss my brother. I haven’t seen him for six years, and I don’t want him to leave again. Besides, I think you two would be good for each other. Now go in there.”
Taking a deep breath, Samara opened the car door and walked up to the house. She rang the doorbell and waited. Nothing happened, and there was no sign of movement in the house. She tried knocking and still nothing happened. She felt like a fool standing there waiting. She turned to go back to the car, and found Nick standing behind her.
“I have a key. Let’s go in and see if he just stepped out for a while.”
Samara clenched her trembling hands together in front of her as she watched Nick open Rowan’s front door. When they walked into the house, she knew immediately that Eric had not stepped out for a few minutes. He was gone. She swallowed several times, trying to dissipate the lump forming in her throat.
Nick looked over at her, and she could see the compassion in his eyes. That pitying look was enough to force back the lump in her throat as she glared at him.
“God damn you, Nick. Why couldn’t you leave well enough alone?”
“I’m sorry, Samara, I didn’t know he had left already. I’ll try to get a hold of him on his cell phone. I’ll tell him to come back and talk to you.”
“Forget it. He’s abandoned me once. I won’t let him do it again,” Samara out as she strode through the door. Her anger carried her to the car and she sat stewing in it as Nick got in the other side. She didn’t speak as he drove her back to her home.