by Sherri Hayes
Looking up to the ceiling, he took a deep breath.
“You ready?” Megan asked, bringing his attention back to her.
He nodded, not trusting his voice.
They played five hands before he decided to head up to his room, and he lost every single one because he was so utterly distracted. Something had to be done. There had to be a way to reverse whatever made this happen.
As he lay down in his bed that night and closed his eyes, the flashes he’d had earlier in the day morphed into memories. Paul groaned as he relived what he knew was no longer a dream. He didn’t have to imagine how soft Megan’s skin was along her thighs—he knew. He’d felt it himself.
By the time everything replayed in his mind, he was hard, and knew there was no way he was going to be able to get to sleep anytime soon if he didn’t do something.
Throwing off the covers, he headed into his bathroom for a very long, very cold shower.
Chapter 7
Megan pulled her car up in front of Chloe’s best friend, Debbie’s house. Chloe was bouncing in her seat, barely able to contain herself, wanting out of the vehicle as soon as humanly possible. “Can I get out now, Megan?”
“Yes, you may.”
By the time Megan unbuckled her seat belt and exited the vehicle, Chloe was already at the front door, ringing the bell. Debbie and Chloe had a playdate scheduled, which meant that after Megan dropped Chloe off, Megan was free for the next two hours. She was still contemplating what to do with herself.
Before she could go any farther with her thoughts, Debbie’s mom, Tessa, opened the door.
“Hey.” Tessa smiled down at Chloe. “Debbie’s—”
A delighted squeal was heard inside the house, followed by little feet coming down hard on the tile floor. Not two seconds later, Chloe took off into the house.
Tessa and Megan looked at each other and started laughing. “I wish I had their energy.”
Megan nodded, agreeing with Tessa. “I wish I had half of it.”
“Oh please, you’re only what? Twenty?”
“Twenty-three.”
Tessa waved her hand in dismissal, as if to say the three additional years weren’t important. “You’re still a baby. Wait until you’re my age.”
Although she kept a smile on her face, Megan grimaced. She knew Tessa didn’t mean anything by it. In fact, she thought Tessa might mean it as a compliment. If not for Paul, Megan might have taken it that way herself.
“I’ll pick Chloe up around five, if that’s okay.”
There was another squeal in the background, and Tessa shifted to look over her shoulder before refocusing her attention on Megan. “That should be fine. The girls usually settle down after a few minutes and go play in Debbie’s room. Hopefully, I can get some work done around the house.”
“Call me if you need me to pick her up early.”
Megan waved goodbye, and walked slowly back to her car. It wasn’t anything fancy, but at least it was hers. When she’d first come to live with Paul and Chloe, she didn’t own much of anything, and most certainly not a car. But with Paul working all day, and some nights, she needed to have a vehicle to drive both herself and Chloe around.
As she slid behind the wheel, she remembered that first weekend when Paul took her to look for a car. They’d left early in the morning, dropping Chloe off at her grandparents so she wouldn’t be bored all day. It was the first time Megan and Paul had truly been alone together, and the day she began to get to know the man that he was.
Starting her car, Megan pulled away from the curb, and headed back home. She figured she’d spend her free time getting some of her schoolwork done, and relax. It was Friday night, and so there would be no dinner to prep. Paul always brought home pizza, and they all sat around the living room and watched a movie. Considering there was a five-year-old in the house, however, most of the movie selections were of the Disney variety.
As Megan was walking into the house, the phone started ringing. She rushed across the room to answer it. “Hello?”
“You sound like you’re out of breath. Is everything okay?”
Megan laughed. “Hello to you, too, Becca.”
“Sorry.”
Shaking her head, Megan strolled over to the kitchen table, and took a seat. “That’s okay. I love ya anyway.”
“Thanks.” She could almost see her sister rolling her eyes. “But you didn’t answer my question.”
Megan sighed. “Yes, I was out of breath. I was just walking through the door when you called. Chloe had a playdate this afternoon.”
“Oh.”
“What? You thought it was going to be something more sinister?”
“Not exactly—”
“Maybe you leaving the FBI wasn’t such a good idea, sis. What? PI work not exciting enough for you?”
“Hardy har har. Laugh it up. I’m allowed to worry about you, you know.”
It was Megan’s turn to roll her eyes. “Yes, I know. You remind me of that fact often enough.”
Rebecca was silent for a long moment. “Am I really that bad? Gage says I need to relax, that the stress isn’t good for the baby.”
“You should listen to him, and no, you aren’t that bad. Most of the time. You’re my big sister, and you’ve looked out for me all my life. I get it. Maybe having a baby of your own will give you someone else to focus on.”
Instead of getting a snarky comeback from her sister, Rebecca remained silent.
After several minutes, Megan began to regret her comments. “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, Becca. You know I didn’t mean anything by it, I—”
“No. It’s okay. You’re right. Gage tells me the same thing all the time. He says . . . he says I worry too much about you. But I can’t help it.”
It was then Megan realized her sister was crying. “Becca?”
Rebecca sniffed. “I’m fine. It’s these crazy pregnancy hormones. I start crying, and I can’t stop.”
Megan didn’t know what to say to that, so she said nothing.
Eventually, Rebecca seemed to get a hold of herself. “So, the reason I was calling . . .”
“Yes?”
“Gage says that Chloe always spends time with her grandparents during the summer. I was thinking maybe you could come stay with us for a while.”
Megan bit the inside of her cheek, worrying it. She’d been trying to figure out what to do for the past three weeks. Chloe was set to leave in a little over a month, and yet Megan was no closer to making a decision. “I don’t know. I mean, don’t you want to spend time with your new husband?”
“Gage has training camp all summer. He’s gone ten hours a day, five days a week.”
“But you have your work.”
“I work mostly from home these days. Plus, I run the Nashville office, remember? I can take time off whenever I want.”
Once more, Megan didn’t respond.
“You don’t want to come.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to.” Rebecca’s voice changed, and Megan knew what was coming next. “Do you have a new boyfriend?”
“No.”
“What then?”
For some reason, Megan’s patience went out the window. “Why does there have to be a reason? Why can’t I just want to stay here? I like it here. I’m happy here. Why does there have to be some ulterior motive?”
Rebecca said nothing, and after a while, Megan thought that maybe her sister had hung up. “Becca? I’m—”
“Hello?”
“Gage?”
“Megan?”
Megan cringed. “Yeah, it’s me. Is Becca okay?”
“I don’t know. I’ll call you back later, all right?”
“Okay.”
By the time Megan hung up the phone, she felt like crap. She shouldn’t have yelled at her sister. Rebecca was being . . . well, Rebecca. And it wasn’t as if Megan hadn’t given her reason to question her. Besides, her sister wasn’t completely off target. No,
Megan didn’t have a boyfriend, but the reason she didn’t want to go did revolve around a guy.
Sighing, Megan leaned over, resting her head on her arms.
“You should go.”
She snapped her head up, and came face-to-face with Paul. “What?”
He cleared his throat. “You should go spend some time with your sister.”
The look in his eyes was guarded, and she knew the real reason he wanted her to go. For the last three weeks, she’d been teasing him mercilessly. She hadn’t missed the bulge in his pants every night before he headed up to bed, or the extra showers he’d been taking. If she had to guess, she would bet they were cold ones.
Megan stood and walked toward him. The muscles in his throat constricted as he swallowed. He looked nervous.
Coming to a stop a foot in front of him, Megan looked up, meeting his gaze. This was dangerous. For her, anyway. She was the nanny, and at any point, he could send her packing. The fear was there, but she pushed it aside. If that happened, she’d deal with it—she’d have to. But what was the alternative? Do nothing? Keep things as they were? She couldn’t do that. Not when she thought there was a possibility for more.
She licked her lips, and she didn’t miss how his gaze flickered down to take in the movement of her tongue. “You’re home early.”
“I’m on call this weekend, so I cut out a couple hours early.” His voice sounded rougher than usual, and she reveled in the reaction he had to her. It had gotten more pronounced in the last few weeks. She was hoping that meant she was wearing him down.
“Oh. I see.”
He glanced behind her. “Where’s Chloe?”
“She’s over at Debbie’s. I have to pick her up around five.” Megan inched closer.
Paul eyed her cautiously. “What are you doing?”
Megan played innocent. “I don’t know what you mean.”
He swallowed. “Yes, you do. You need to stop this . . . this game.”
She reached up on her tiptoes, bringing their lips within inches of each other’s. “This isn’t a game. Not to me.”
Closing the remaining distance between them, Megan pressed her lips against his.
Her soft lips made contact with his, and he nearly lost it. For the last three weeks, Megan had done everything she could to tempt him. At night, she ran around the house in pajamas that gave him glimpses of what he was denying himself—parts of her that he knew he’d once touched and kissed.
If that weren’t enough, she’d taken every opportunity she could find to casually touch him or brush up against him in some way. It was driving him crazy, and he found himself aroused almost constantly whenever she was near. Paul couldn’t take it anymore. She was killing him. He grabbed hold of her arms, ready to push her away, but then her warm hands pressed against his sides, and she moaned as her tongue licked along the seam of his lips.
No longer thinking, Paul pulled her tight against him and took control of the kiss. It was full of frustration, lust, and a need he didn’t understand. He plunged his tongue inside her mouth. The kiss was almost violent as teeth, lips, and tongues fought each other for dominance.
Megan didn’t fight him. If anything, she encouraged him. She dug her fingers into his skin, anchoring herself.
Needing her closer, Paul released his hold on her forearms, and palmed her ass. The move not only brought her flush against him, but it also gave him the leverage he needed to lift and move her. Megan eagerly embraced this new position, and wrapped her legs securely around his waist.
A few steps forward and he was able to set her down on top of the kitchen table. He didn’t relinquish his hold on her, however. If anything, he pressed her tighter, letting her feel what insane things she did to his body.
Paul couldn’t think properly. All he knew was that Megan was in his arms, hot and willing, and he wanted her. Trailing kisses down her neck, he leaned her back, and began edging her sweater up to reveal the amazing breasts he knew she had underneath.
Once Megan realized what he was trying to do, she reached down and quickly pulled the sweater up and over her head. She tossed it behind him somewhere, seeming to care as little as he did where it landed.
He grazed his thumbs over her hardened nipples that were still shielded by her lacy bra. She arched into his touch, encouraging him.
Brushing one cup out of the way, he wasted no time sucking her breast into his mouth and licking it. Megan moaned, and he could feel the heat between her legs increase.
His heart was pounding in his chest. It was loud. And it sounded . . . not right.
Somehow, through the foggy haze of Paul’s brain, he registered that the pounding wasn’t, in fact, coming from him. Someone was at the door.
He froze.
Paul straightened and took a step back. His gaze never left Megan where she was sprawled out on his kitchen table, her clothes in complete disarray, and one naked breast pink and swollen from his attention. He was rock hard, his body already protesting the loss of heat and pressure.
Megan opened her eyes, searching. “Paul?”
She sat up and reached for him.
He shook his head. “Someone’s at the door.”
A confused look crossed her face, and whoever it was knocked again, this time on the kitchen door. Megan scrambled to her feet, and snatched her sweater up off the floor while straightening her bra. With a sly smile, she slipped the sweater back over her head. “Aren’t you going to see who it is?”
Shaking his head to try and clear it, he went to answer the door.
His partner, Janey, stood on the other side of the doorway, looking somewhere between worried and irritated. “There you are. I was starting to think I’d have to send out a search party.”
“Sorry. I was . . . I didn’t hear you at first.”
Janey pushed her way past Paul, and handed him a folder. “This came in right as I was about to walk out the door. I thought you’d want to get your hands on it ASAP. It’s the DNA results from the third murder victim.” Janey paused when she noticed Megan standing across the room. “Oh, hi, Megan.”
“Hello, Detective Davis.”
There was tension in the room, and Janey seemed to pick up on it. She looked from Paul to Megan, and then back to Paul again. For several minutes, no one said anything, and guilt began to take root. Less than five minutes before, he’d been ravishing his nanny on the kitchen table. Nope. Not a thing to feel guilty about there.
Paul cleared his throat, and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ll read through the files tonight after Chloe goes to bed.”
Nodding, Janey moved back toward the door to leave. “Call me if you need anything, or if . . .” She paused, and glanced briefly over at Megan. “. . . if you want to talk.”
“I will. And thanks for the file.”
Janey acted as if she couldn’t get out of his house quick enough, and he knew she suspected what she’d nearly walked in on. Paul shut the door firmly behind her, and turned to face Megan. She was standing with her arms wrapped protectively around her waist.
“Don’t say it,” she whispered.
He closed his eyes and sighed. “Okay, I won’t.”
“Good.”
Looking over at her, his heart clenched with his next words. “But that doesn’t change anything.”
She shook her head. “How can you say that?”
“Megan—”
“No! You can’t stand there and say that you feel nothing. You’re attracted to me. Admit it.”
Paul leaned back against the doorjamb, feeling as if there were a twenty-pound weight on his chest. “Yes, I’m attracted to you.”
“Then why won’t you give us a chance?”
Looking at her standing in his kitchen, the way she had her body positioned, she looked young—younger than twenty-three. “We would never work.”
“You keep saying that, but I want to know why.” He opened his mouth to reply, but she interrupted him. “And don’t say it’s because you still love your
wife. I know you love Melissa, and you always will. I’m okay with that. And I don’t see what that has to do with us. She’s not here. I am.”
Paul listened to Megan’s speech, and watched as she squared her shoulders waiting for his response. He averted his eyes, and took several slow, deep breaths. “A part of me died that morning the patrolman came to tell me Melissa had been pronounced dead at the scene. They didn’t even bother taking her to the emergency room. She went straight to the morgue.”
He found Megan’s eyes again, and there were tears glistening in them. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
His heart clenched painfully, seeing that he was causing her pain. It had to be done, though. She needed to understand. “You’re young. You deserve to find a guy who will be able to give you what you need . . . what you deserve. I’m sorry, but I’m not him.”
Before she could say anything else, Paul opened the door behind him. “I’ll get Chloe, and then we’ll pick up the pizza before we come home.” He paused. “You should call your sister back and apologize. Tell her you’re coming to visit. The last thing you want to do is leave a rift between you and the ones you love. You never know when you won’t have the opportunity to take it back.”
With those parting words, Paul walked out the door leaving Megan standing in the kitchen. He hated hurting her, but she’d left him no choice. There couldn’t be a them. Kissing Megan had made him feel alive. She made him feel as if he deserved to be loved again.
He didn’t. The last words he ever said to his wife weren’t ones of love. They were ones of frustration and anger.
No. There was one thing Paul was sure of. He didn’t deserve a second chance. Not after the way he’d royally screwed up the first one. If it hadn’t been for him, Melissa would never have been out that time of night in the first place, and she’d still be there with him. Chloe would still have her mother. They’d be a family.
As Paul drove toward Debbie’s house, he brushed away a few stray tears. He needed to pull himself together. The last thing he wanted was for Chloe to see him crying. She’d want to know why, and it wasn’t something he could explain to her.
All he had to do was make it another five weeks. Then Chloe would be off with her grandparents, and Megan would be at her sister’s. Maybe the distance would be good for all of them, and Megan would realize that he wasn’t the right guy for her. It was his only hope, because he didn’t know how much longer he would be able to resist her if she didn’t.