She had to get out of here. She had to leave. LeAnn spun away as Travis went to go into the lodge and the others began moving again, their supernatural stillness over.
Jordan caught her arm. “He’ll want to talk to you.”
LeAnn jerked her arm from his grasp. She had a few seconds before she started crying, and she was not going to cry here in front of Alanna. “Oh, I really don’t think he will.” There was nothing left to say to each other. That look of his had said a whole helluva lot. Bastard. She’d thought he was different. She’d thought he was kind. Stupid. Stupid. Why did she always think this time it’d be different?
“LeAnn.” Jordan tried to grab her again, but she stepped away.
“It’s fine. Really,” she said, walking quickly to her car. It wasn’t fine, but if she could fake it until she was far away from here—she might actually believe it.
…
He was in the bathroom washing the remainder of the blood from around his mouth and face when the door swung open and Jordan stepped in. He spit more of the blood from his mouth. He’d be tasting Troy’s blood long after he’d washed it out. And LeAnn had seen him like this. There was no way she’d accept the scent-match after that. It was even uglier than the few challenges he’d seen. Troy was determined to see it out.
Jordan closed the door behind him and locked it.
Travis threw him a glance over his shoulder. “You probably still shouldn’t have left LeAnn alone.”
“Oh, I didn’t.”
He froze. “Somebody was with her?” There was a spike of jealousy through him. He wanted to shred whoever had approached her. He shook it off, blinking.
“No, she stormed off after your little death glare. You should have started off the challenge with that. I think even Troy would have dropped dead.” Jordan sounded pissed…well, he didn’t understand how bad it was that LeAnn had come.
Maybe he’d gone a little far with that look he’d given her, but she might have distracted him at a time when he needed his control, and he’d had a good reason for insisting she stay away. “I told her not to come. In fact, I ordered her not to come.” She should have trusted his judgment.
“Yeah, I think Christa would have shot me if I’d tried that. At the very least, I would have taken two shoes and a lamp to the head.”
He tossed the wet rag into the sink and turned to face Jordan. “She shouldn’t have been here. She’s never been to a meeting with a pack ever…and that’s her first experience?”
“So what? Instead she was supposed to sit around knitting and hope you came home alive?”
He shook his head. “She didn’t know what was at stake. I didn’t tell her.”
“Oh, she knew. Someone told her.”
Travis looked in the direction of the door and shook his head. “Alanna. Alanna must have told her.” He grabbed the towel again and ran it across the gouge in his side. He should have it stitched up. Though he wouldn’t have had Alanna do it even if LeAnn hadn’t reacted to the other woman like she had. If he’d gone near LeAnn smelling like Alanna, she’d have challenged the other woman.
“That’s deep,” Jordan said, nodding at the cut.
It was still bleeding. “I’ll live.”
“You wouldn’t have if you’d let your vet stitch it up. I thought you’d lived through the challenge only to have LeAnn take your head off there.”
He gave a weak laugh. “That was fairly impressive.”
“Especially for a non-Lycan.”
He glanced up at Jordan and almost smiled. LeAnn. He’d have to catch up with her. Maybe he could downplay how bad that challenge was. Though not if he was still bleeding everywhere. “Are you gonna let me bleed to death or are you gonna help me?” he asked as he pulled a first aid kit from under the sink.
“So, she really doesn’t think she’s a Lycan?” Jordan asked as he sorted through the first aid kit. “We could try gluing it.”
“That might make it stop bleeding, at least. No, she really doesn’t.”
“But she is. She could see in the dark as well as any of us—and she smells like a Lycan.”
“Yeah, well, didn’t you tell me the crazy ones are hot when I brought up Cheri earlier this week?” Jordan didn’t really have a leg to stand on with this conversation. His alpha female prior to Christa had gone psycho and tried to kill people, too.
“I don’t think I said hot. I might go with Miller on this, though. She does seem like a lot of fun.” He opened the tube of glue they kept in the kit and frowned at it critically.
“Fun. Hot. The difference being?” He really needed to get out of here and go after LeAnn.
“You’re going to hold still so I don’t wind up glued to you, right?”
Travis gave him a bland look.
“Okay, but this might sting.” He leaned in and applied the glue to the seam of the torn skin.
“Holy effing dammit to hell…hell…that’s…” He hit a fist on the countertop. That stung like hell.
“Well, the difference between hot and fun is that, though they’re both three-letter words, they use different letters of the alphabet, and I’m not letting it get back to Christa that I said some other woman was hot.”
“They’re both three-letter words? Really?” He slammed his hand against the countertop again. “What the hell is in that? That can’t just be glue. Is it like acid?” He said every profane word he knew. Twice.
“Those are four-letter words. Look. I can count even higher. Sesame Street would be proud.”
“You’re an ass—another three-letter word—and I can actually feel my IQ dropping.” Travis took a deep breath. Okay, that was better. Now he might live.
Jordan tossed the capped glue back into the first aid kit. “At least you didn’t take a blow to the head. That was clever. I’d never have thought of shifting to pound their head against the ground to knock them out. I’ve seen them go unconscious due to blood loss—and that’s where Troy was headed. Shifting was smart if you weren’t going to kill him.”
“Yeah, well, punching a wolf like you and Dane sounded mean.” Though he’d considered it. He hadn’t partly because he didn’t want Jordan claiming it as his suggestion—which Jordan would have.
Jordan grinned. “And you’re all flowers and candy.” He pointed at the cut on his arm. “You want to do that one, too.”
“No, I think I’ll opt to staple my tongue rather than go through that again.”
“You are a big baby.”
He sighed. “Was she upset?”
“LeAnn?”
Travis nodded. He’d been a bit high on adrenaline and worried it was over between them.
“Oh, she was crying before she’d even made it ten feet away. I think if you were going for cowed and brokenhearted, you nailed that one. She’s sweet, too—even if she is crazy. I wanted to slam your head against the ground when she started crying.”
He closed his eyes in one long blink. He’d made her cry. Again. He was an ass. He was such an ass. He wanted to punch something. Clenching his teeth, he hissed out a breath. He could fix this. He was smart enough to fix this. Maybe she was at his place…or Ross’s.
“You’ve got another problem,” Jordan said, rubbing the side of his face while frowning.
“What?” The last thing he needed was more problems.
“I’ve seen a pack handle a few extra alpha males for a good long time, but having two females who want to be Alpha—that gets ugly fast. LeAnn needs to accept the scent-match, and even then, you might need to get rid of Alanna.”
“She’s a vet here. She was even here first—with her practice. I can’t toss her out because she and LeAnn aren’t getting along.”
“Then they’re going to kill each other. And when you do find LeAnn, and you’ve fallen down on your knees and groveled your way back into her life, you should thank every higher power out there that she saved you from Alanna. The way Alanna looked during that fight—I’d call it vastly entertained. Alanna would have carved out
your liver by the end of the year, and you can ask Cheri—that’s not as fun as it sounds.”
Travis snorted. Even if Jordan had a point…
“Well, this has been fun, but I’m heading home to my wife after I pick her up from Dane’s. I didn’t trust her alone just in case Ross really is out loose.” He yawned. “And I have to show Lucifer who’s Alpha again. He thinks all our time spent in the bedroom means he owns the rest of the house. Damn thing.”
“Christa’s cat?”
Jordan shook his head as he went to the door. “I think I’d have better luck with the actual Satan.”
“Jordan, thanks.”
“Don’t mention it, and don’t call me tomorrow.” He opened the door and stopped. “And so help me if anyone challenges you again this week, I’ll come kill them in the night.”
Well, that was loud enough for his pack to hear, and almost made him smile.
“One more thing. Give me a hint.” If he couldn’t find her quickly, he might beg Jordan to come back and help—and that wouldn’t be pretty.
He pointed south. “She was headed that way when I walked inside.”
Chapter Seven
Why had she thought he could be different? He didn’t even know the worst of it—of that other side of her and the things she’d done. If he didn’t like her now… LeAnn jerked a hand across her eyes where hot tears steadily leaked. For once, it wasn’t raining, and yet her vision was as wet and blurry as if it was. Stop it! Stop it, he’s not worth it! LeAnn bit her lip and the pain stopped the tears. She wasn’t like this. She couldn’t afford to be weak. She hit the steering wheel with her fist. Dammit, why had she started hoping again?
Some people were meant to be alone.
And she started crying all over again.
She drove, trying to get lost. Something held her back from leaving. It was ridiculous. In the end, she followed the same path she had previously and ended up at the closed-for-the-season trailhead where she stopped and parked. It was cold outside, but she still got out. This time she didn’t scream…she didn’t feel like it. She just cried and cried.
“This is so stupid,” she said, trying to stop as she leaned against the hood. She should leave. She should have driven straight to the airport and boarded a plane to somewhere…anywhere…someplace warm, maybe. She should have gotten out of this crazy, crazy town where things like a wolf fight made sense and where her brother had thrown it all away. For one brief and shining moment after the fight, she could see herself joining a pack where they banded together for strength and fought out their differences. She could see herself in a pack with Travis. And it’d blown up in her face.
That look from Travis…
She didn’t belong in the pack. He didn’t want her in it. The scent-match might be forcing his hand, but… It was the same old song all over again with a different verse. Life kept tying her to people who didn’t actually want her. Her mother. Her brother. Now Travis. This was the worst of them all. Her mother and brother had seemed to know there was a side of her that should be kept hidden—a darkness she was born with. She’d even seen that side to Ross—though she’d never guess he’d be capable of murder and betrayal. Travis hadn’t seen that side…that wasn’t who he was rejecting.
A raw sob broke free, and she wrapped her arms around her waist.
Damn you, Travis. Why did you make me want things again? Why did you make me believe?
She’d done this before, too. Clayton had started off so nice. Then he’d sensed something in her that needed to be beaten out. He said she didn’t respect him—he could see it in her eyes. She’d changed herself over and over again because being alone was so damn hard, but it was never enough. She was never enough.
Okay, so maybe she couldn’t follow orders.
But sometimes orders were stupid.
And just the fact that Travis hadn’t wanted her there, when it was partly her fault his life was on the line, meant that he didn’t see her as anything more than a possession. And she’d had enough of that.
She’d been doing so well, too. She’d learned to wall up and repress that side of her that blazed through emotions, the side that ached and raged and craved. She’d buried it under sarcasm and detachment. And Travis Flynn had blown it all.
LeAnn scrubbed at the tears on her face, only to have new tears replace them. Ugh. She was not a crier, and yet here she was—bawling her eyes out.
One more day of looking for Ross. Maybe he was visiting the pack because he had regrets…maybe he wanted to make it right somehow. If she found him, she didn’t know what she’d do, but she still wanted to find him.
One more day and one more day. Listen to her. She sounded like an addict. Travis Flynn was simply another addiction she couldn’t seem to walk away from. He was that empty house in a rich neighborhood with a shoddy alarm—too beautiful to resist.
“I never should have come here,” she whispered. Even as quiet as it was, it echoed. So she shouted it. “I never should have come here!”
Then she went back to her car and waited for the sun to rise on another one more day.
She slept in uncomfortable segments of time. An hour here and there when she could stop her brain from thinking and obsessing and when she had the car warm enough to sleep in. Finally, she gave up on an actual sunrise, because a light mist had started falling in the early hours and it looked like the sky getting slightly brighter was all she’d get. It fit her dark mood.
LeAnn drove back to her brother’s without a single wrong turn. It was a sad fact that she couldn’t seem to get lost, no matter how hard she tried.
When she got there, she dragged his map out and spread it across the table. Today was definitely the last day. If Ross was around here, he had to be holing up somewhere during the night. It was cold as hell last night, even with the cloud cover trapping some heat in.
She felt eyes on her. With a sad feeling of resignation, she went to the cupboard and pulled out the Tupperware with the clothes in it and tossed it out on the front porch. They might as well have this out. She usually was gone before a confrontation. That was her MO, even if it wasn’t Travis’s. But if he was going to come yell at her for being there, he should at least be dressed. It’d help her concentrate.
There were limits, though. If he threw a punch, she was stabbing him…nonlethally. She couldn’t imagine him doing that, but he’d been furious, and she hadn’t known him long. He could yell all he wanted. Maybe that would help her quit this place and end this addiction. Finally. She had to get out of here.
The door opened almost silently, and he approached slowly from behind her as she bent over the map, trying to ignore him. If she focused on the map, she could maybe not cry over this ridiculous relationship they had where she’d fallen for him in a matter of days. Why him? Why now?
His hands touched her sides, and his body was only inches behind her. They both waited, tensed.
Then he wrapped his arms around her waist and put his face down against her neck as he pulled their bodies together.
She blinked. This wasn’t at all what she’d expected. Where was the yelling? Where was the Travis of last night who’d glared at her and was furious?
A moment later, he pulled back, took the gun from the back of her waistband, set it on the table beside her hand, and went back to holding her with his face pressed against her skin.
It didn’t make sense. He didn’t make sense.
His ice-cold skin made her shiver.
Her pulse picked up. The only reason he’d be out in the cold was if he was looking for her. And maybe not to yell at her if his behavior was any indication. He’d had plenty of time to work up a whole lot of anger, and he didn’t seem mad. Actions spoke louder than words, but she still wanted to hear him say it. “Have you been out all night?”
He nodded. Lifting his head, he whispered against her shoulder. “I think sometime around three a.m. I found religion…when it started to rain and I couldn’t follow your trail any longer.”
> She swallowed. “I didn’t think you’d look for me when I didn’t come to your place.”
“I’ve traced your steps for the last few days like twenty times over. Troy had recovered well enough to shout about what you’d done to his speakers, by the way. You were somewhere south of here, I think, but you backtracked and went down enough forestry roads that…” He shook his head, his lips brushing her skin with each movement. “I am not a tracker. I’ve never felt that inadequate.” He sighed, a ragged sound. “And then the rain came.”
“But you didn’t want me.” That look he had given her would stick with her for a long time. It said a lot of things, especially considering the reason behind it: he hadn’t wanted her to be in the pack or that part of his life.
“Not want you?” He pulled her tighter against him and kissed her neck. “I want you. I need you. I’m a little crazy over you.” He kissed her neck again. “I didn’t want you there at the challenge because I didn’t want you seeing that. And hell, if I’d failed, I didn’t want Troy going after you to prove something. That would have ripped me to shreds more than he could.”
Her mouth went dry, and she sucked in a shaky breath. He wanted her? But… That just didn’t happen, not in her life. He needed her? None of this made sense. As much as she wanted it to be true, she couldn’t ignore what had happened. At the very least, he hadn’t wanted her to be involved with his pack and that was half his life…maybe more. “But you said that I’m pack and the pack was supposed to be there.” Either she was pack or she wasn’t.
He went still and murmured against her skin, “I thought there was no way you’d ever want to be pack if you saw that.”
“But that made sense.” His lips against her skin felt heavenly. It was frying her synapses, making it difficult to concentrate on all the reasons why she should walk out of here right now.
“Me not wanting you there?”
“No, why the pack would be there for a challenge and why it was important to prove that Troy didn’t belong but that we all belong to you.” We. She’d said “we.” Hopefully he hadn’t noticed. His arms tightened around her, and his sigh gave her goose bumps.
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