Alice raised an eyebrow. “Really? I find that hard to believe.”
“Well, believe it because the moment he said he was teaching ‘Through the Looking Glass’, I was interested. He could have had a third eye and horns, and I would go out with him.” She folded her arms. “And I expect more from you. All of you. The only person who didn’t pile on the insults was Rem.”
Bix and Rose had the good sense to look chastened but Alice and Blue merely smiled.
“Alice, I should let you show Flannery around before she has to get back to work.” Rem gently put Aurora down and started to move toward the stairs.
“Rem, just a second.” Alice glanced down at Elizabeth, who had been periodically fussing during their conversation. “Actually, would it be too much trouble if you showed her the apartment? It’s not locked. You can tell her all the bad parts about living in a hundred year old building so she’s prepared. I need to go nurse Elizabeth.”
Rem looked at Rose and Blue, hoping they would volunteer but they both avoided his gaze. Bix could probably navigate the stairs easily enough but it would be silly to ask him when Rem was already headed that way.
“Not a problem,” he said, hoping he sounded happy to do it.
Flannery looked at him and it seemed like she was going to say something to him but then changed her mind. She turned toward Alice instead. “Wait, I have to know what Elizabeth has on her shirt. Otherwise, I’ll wonder about it all day.” Flannery leaned over and Alice tugged up her little cardigan so she could read it.
There was a ship with a big red sail and the words, ‘Courage, Dear Heart’ emblazoned across the front of the soft white tee. Elisabeth’s chubby little legs kicked, her face turning an alarming shade of red as she began to cry in earnest.
“That’s my cue,” Alice said. “Come on, Aurora. You can bake some cakes in the play room while I nurse fussypants here.”
“We’re off to lunch,” Blue said. “Welcome to the building. If you ever need anything, just let us know. We’re right upstairs.”
“Anything at all,” Rose agreed. She waved as they headed out the door.
“I guess I’d better get back to work. I’m real glad you’re taking the apartment. It’ll set my mind at ease. Your mamere was worried about you in that other place. Bad part of town, really.”
“Grandpa, it wasn’t a bad part of town. It just wasn’t on this side of the river.” Flannery gave him a kiss on the cheek. “But thank you for worrying about me.”
“That’s my job,” Bix said and started back toward the desk, Patty by his side. He turned and said, “What was on Elizabeth’s shirt? Nobody read it out loud.”
“Courage, dear heart,” she said softly.
“Ah. C.S. Lewis. Perfect.” With a nod, he left them.
Rem couldn’t help sliding a look in Flannery’s direction. She was watching her grandfather cross the foyer.
Courage, dear heart. Rem gotten the whole Narnia series for a Christmas present his fourth grade year, and they’d devoured the books together, arguing over who was a slower reader. She’d made him promise not to read ahead of her, and he’d kept that promise, waiting for her to come back every day before opening the books again. They’d raced to finish each book, both struggling not to cry as Reepicheep sailed off toward the East and cheered as Susan returned to save Narnia.
They’d talked about the books for months afterward. She’d drawn him a little sailboat and he put it up above his bed. He’d prayed every night for Aslan to appear in real life, and she didn’t laugh a bit when he told her about it. When Flannery turned ten, he’d bought her a matching set from the money he’d earned working odd jobs around town. When she wrote him a letter, she’d draw a little sailboat by her name. When he gave her a gift, he’d draw Aslan on the tag.
A lot of people loved the Narnia series, but for them, it was special. They weren’t just stories. They were a part of their history.
Flannery finally met Rem’s gaze. “That’s very good advice, don’t you think?”
She smiled, but there was a sadness in it that tore at his heart. No matter how much he wanted everything to stay the same, things were changing, and faster than he could predict. All he could do was to try not to make it any worse than it already was, and it was turning out to be one of the most painful days of his life.
“Sure is,” he said, looking away. “Well, let’s go up and see your new digs.”
She walked beside him without saying anything else. He felt the silence between them like another living person.
C.S. Lewis was a master at spinning a tale and he created characters that nobody could forget. He also gave wonderful advice for book characters, which was terrible advice for human beings in the real world. Being courageous might ruin their friendship forever. The nobility that made readers cheer was completely foolhardy off the page. If Rem acted on his heart’s desire, he’d ask Flannery if there was any chance that she felt more for him than friendship. He’d let courage lead him out of the mess he’d made today. He’d take her hand, tell her how he felt, and trust that no matter her answer, he had been courageous.
As he motioned for her to lead the way up the long mahogany staircase to the second floor, Rem knew that he didn’t have half the courage of Reepicheep and not even a quarter of the valor of Susan. He was just a history professor who spent his time reading old letters and poring over stained documents. His life was as far from the glorious tales of Narnia as it could get and he wasn’t ten years old anymore.
Chapter Nine
To love at all is to be vulnerable.
Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken.
―C.S. Lewis
Roxie put a hand on Mark’s arm. “Would you like pancakes?” she asked.
He nodded, not raising his eyes to meet hers. He didn’t like crowds and the noise of the restaurant was hard for him, but he loved eating at The Red Hen with Andy and Roxie. “Pancakes are good.”
She met Andy’s gaze and he winked at her. Mark wouldn’t eat much of anything but sour cream and onion Pringles. If Andy asked him what he wanted, he’d say Pringles, but for Roxie, he would branch out into a few other foods. Nothing too adventurous, but it was better than a steady diet of grease and sodium.
“So, do you think they’ll have a summer wedding? Or fall? Fr. Tom will officiate, of course. They’re cousins and he’s the pastor of St. Augustine’s. The Beckets and Beaulieus have been part of the Isle Brevelle community for generations.”
Andy cocked his head. “You really think it will be that easy?”
“Why wouldn’t it be? Those apartments are magic.” She couldn’t help feeling a surge of nostalgia for their days as neighbors above By the Book. They joked about the apartments having special powers but it was by the grace of God that they fell in love with each other. Some might call their first meeting on the corner by Sunshine Bakery as a chance encounter. They might say it was a simply a random act of kindness when Andy brought a cold drink to the girl dancing in the foam cupcake suit. But Roxie and Andy saw it as Divine Providence in their lives.
“It might not be so easy because people are complicated, frankly. I don’t know either of them very well but they’ve been friends for a long time. I’ve never heard of friends falling in love after that many years together.”
“What about When Harry Met Sally? Or Beatrice and Benedict? Or Emma and Mr. Knightley? Or―”
“I meant in real life,” Andy said.
“Oh.” Roxie thought about it for a moment. “Bix and Ruby. He was married to her sister for fifty years before she passed away. They were friends for decades.”
He nodded, laughing. “Fine. I guess we’d better be ready to clear our schedule.” He took her hand, rubbing his thumb across her skin. She loved his hands. Andy was the other half of Screenstop’s brilliant young duo and known for his sense of humor, but to Roxie he would always be the kindest man she’d ever met. She felt kindness in every touch.
“How did Mam
ere seem today?” he asked.
“Happy. I think she likes it. But that will change.” Walking away from her sweet grandmother who stood waving at the entrance, a slightly confused look on her face, had been brutal. Although Mamere had retained her sweet nature while her mind had slipped away, Roxie knew that after sundown the pleasant attitude turned to sadness and fear. “It’s hard to tell if she knows she’ll actually be living there or if she thinks she’s just visiting. But I really like their system. It’s like Fort Knox, except you’d never know it. The people stationed at the door and the ones walking the halls are all in nice clothes with name tags, no uniforms. They just seem like they’re waiting patiently for someone.”
He nodded. “I like how they make it as non-threatening as possible. That memory care facility in LaFayette was like being transported onto Planet Grim.”
“That could be a new game, right? Planet Grim, where you can’t find anything you know you once had, can’t remember your name, and everybody looks like a prison guard.” She was glad that Andy could laugh along with her dark humor. She wouldn’t be able to stand watching her beloved mamere’s mind slip away without some kind of outlet, and for her, it was inappropriate humor.
“All the rooms will be labeled, but you can’t remember your own name, so that won’t help,” he said. “You’ll have some keys, but won’t know which doors they go to. You’ll have two settings, friend or foe. Either everyone is a family member or they’re out to get you.”
Roxie was trying not to laugh but failing. In the next moment, she felt her laughter turn to tears. Her mamere had been everything to her, still was. But she was having to let go while she was still alive. She had to let go of what she loved the best about her, and learn to love something― someone― completely different. “It’s awful. I just wish I could stop what’s happening to her. I’m not ready…”
His blue eyes were filled with compassion. “I know.”
She let out a long breath. Just knowing he understood was worth more than all the doctors’ prognoses, all the internet advice, and all the reassurances of the specialists. Alice had once told her that in the early months of parenting, she’d constantly second-guessed herself, wondering if she was harming Aurora by the choices she was making over her schedule, feeding, clothing. Everything had been a source of anxiety. All she had been able to do was pray she was doing it right but had found herself crying in the darkest hours of the night, wracked by doubt.
Roxie felt the same as she moved Mamere into a facility that could care for her and keep her safe. Her aunts were furious with her, saying she had abandoned their mother and insisting she bring her back to the old farmhouse Roxie, Andy, and Mark shared by the banks of the Cane River. They argued that with Andy’s wealth, they could certainly afford as many helpers as they needed.
But it wasn’t about helpers. Mamere was so confused some days that even being in a house with a stove was a danger to them all. Unless they hired three helpers to watch her full time, guarding every sharp object and potential hazard, none of them were safe. Roxie had to keep the doors bolted at all times because she was afraid that Mamere would wander too close to the river, or get lost in the line of trees before they could usher her back home.
Roxie hadn’t told her aunts about the day two weeks ago when she’d realized Mamere wasn’t in the house. After a frantic search, she’d found her outside, wandering the open field in the chilly air, without a jacket or shoes. It could easily have ended in tragedy, and Roxie couldn’t bear the thought of being the one who let Mamere down, not after she had been the one to keep Roxie safe all through her childhood.
And there was Mark to think of, too. He was content with his schedule of working at the bakery and taking some vocational courses, but he liked his space at home just so. He had a very set way of doing everything and as long as he could continue with it, he was perfectly happy. Mamere, who couldn’t remember the day of the week, was worried about this young man who only ate one food and watched one movie. She did her best to tempt him outside, tried to feed him jambalaya, and had started to hide his Pringles. Mamere simply didn’t understand how important his routine was or how much he needed to feel in control.
Mark always handled it as well as could be expected, but between the safety issues and the angry phone calls from her aunts, Roxie had had to make a decision that was keeping her tossing and turning at night. Only Andy’s constant, unwavering support had kept her from falling apart under the stress.
“I know how much you love her. She wouldn’t want you to feel guilty about making sure she’s safe.”
“Thank you,” she whispered, then cleared the tears from her voice. She’d been so wrapped up in Mamere’s decline for so long that it was hard to focus on anything else, but she needed to direct her energy in other directions. The bakery had been doing a booming business and she was thinking of opening another store on the other side of the river, near the Screenstop headquarters. Plus, even though Mark was generally self-sufficient, he still needed her attention and help during the day.
“You know, somebody was telling me they had a great day at the bakery.” She cut her eyes to Mark whose gaze focused somewhere on the far side of the restaurant.
“Hey, buddy. How was your day?” Andy had asked him when they’d first met for lunch but Mark had been too distracted by the rain to answer. “Did you sweep today?”
Mark smiled and nodded. “Lots.” Sweeping was his favorite part. When Roxie had first hired him at the bakery, she’d been there every day that he had a shift. Now Mark was so familiar with the job that he could do all of his tasks without much direction. The manager and the waitresses all helped give him pointers, but he was a good worker. The customers loved him, although he could turn shy if someone approached him too quickly.
“Did you have a cookie?” Roxie asked.
“Yeah. Chocolate chip,” he said. Something caught his eye and he lifted is head, excitement dawning on his face. “Jessica!” He waved with both hands. “Jessica!”
Roxie peered around Andy, who had turned in his seat to look. She saw a dark-haired young woman standing a few feet away, an older woman who was probably her mother or aunt trying to usher her through the café. The girl smiled hugely, dimples appearing in her cheeks. Her upturned eyes and flattened features signaled Down Syndrome. “Hi, Mark. Is this your mom and dad?”
Andy stood up and held out his hand. “Hi, Jessica. I’m Andy, Mark’s brother.”
The girl shook his hand. “Hi, Andy.”
Roxie followed suit, walking around the table so she could greet Jessica. “I’m Roxie, Mark’s sister in law. Is this your…?” She let the sentence drift away. She didn’t mind that Jessica thought she was Mark’s mother because she wasn’t even thirty, but the older woman might not quite take it the same way.
“Older sister by seventeen years. I’m Allison Johnson.” She seemed wary of them both and her gaze flickered toward Mark. “I’m glad to finally meet you all. Jessica talks about Mark all the time. I mean, a lot.”
“He’s my boyfriend,” Jessica announced.
“Yeah. I’m her boyfriend.” Mark said.
There was a long beat of silence where Roxie saw Andy struggling to respond. He started to laugh, thought better of it, then locked eyes with Roxie. She shook her head slightly. I don’t have any idea what’s going on.
“No, he’s just your friend,” Allison said. “Boyfriend means something different.”
“I love him,” Jessica said.
“Yeah,” Mark said.
Andy looked like he was trying not to panic. “Love?” he managed to ask.
“Will you sit with us?” Roxie motioned to the table. “We have room and we’d love to get to know Mark’s friends.”
“Yes,” Jessica said and sat down on the other side of Mark without waiting for her sister’s opinion.
“I… We were just…” Allison seemed to realize there was no way to get Jessica out of the chair without being rude. “Thank you.”
She took the seat across from Andy and shifted uncomfortably.
“So, Jessica, are you in Mark’s class at the community center?” Andy asked. Roxie could tell he was still trying to find his footing. He looked like someone had put an ice cube down the back of his shirt.
“Pottery class,” she said.
“But he took pottery class in the fall. Are you in another class together?”
Mark nodded. “We have cooking together. I hate it. Jessica likes it.”
Andy met Roxie’s gaze. That answered a few questions. Mark had said he hated the class, but when Roxie asked if he wanted to change to another, he said no. They hadn’t pushed the issue because they hadn’t wanted to make a big deal out of him disliking a class. They were so happy to have him out and involved in the community.
Roxie dropped her gaze to her glass of ice water. Maybe she just hadn’t wanted to know the details because she couldn’t handle one more problem. She felt her cheeks go warm with shame. Mark could have been abused, could have been dealing with bullies. She’d never bothered to get to the bottom of refusal to leave a class he hated because she was overwhelmed.
“We want to get married,” Jessica said, and took Mark’s hand.
Allison sat back in her chair as if someone had punched her in the chest. Roxie knew what she was feeling. She didn’t have the words to respond.
Andy’s face had gone pale. “Really?” His voice was tight. “Why― why do you want to get married?”
“I love her.”
Jessica nodded, dimples showing again. “He loves me.”
“But that doesn’t mean you have to get married. And you can’t, actually,” Allison said, her voice sharp.
“Andy did,” Mark said. “Now you have Roxie. She lives with us. She watches movies with us and sleeps in your big bed.”
“Would you like to have Jessica over for a movie?” Roxie asked quickly. “That would be fun. We could make popcorn. Or have Pringles. Whatever you guys want.”
“She can sleep over?” Mark asked.
Until Winter Comes Again: (An Inspirational Contemporary Romance) (Cane River Romance Book 6) Page 8