“Em, wait a minute. Let’s talk about this,” Lukas said desperately. This wasn’t like any other fight they’d had, and he’d grossly misjudged the situation.
Em rose from her seat and glared at Lukas. The look in her eyes scared him. He’d never seen her, or anyone for that matter, that angry. The look was so intense he didn’t notice that she had picked up the plate with the cake, didn’t notice the movement, in fact, until she had thrown the plate at his head. He tried to duck, but the plate caught him on his ear and broke. Cake and blood went everywhere.
“I have absolutely nothing to say to you. Get out, now!” she bellowed.
“Em, I was with Pop. He needed me,” Lukas tried to explain.
“I. Needed. You!” Em took a couple of deep breaths and calmed her voice. Calming the storm in her heart, however, could take much, much longer. “What did he need that was so important that you would miss today? You, of all people, should know how hard I worked for that promotion. I told everyone how you’d be there. And I sat there waiting, like an idiot. Just like I always do.”
Lukas tried to move closer to her. He knew if he could just pull her into his arms, he would make her see reason. She knew this as well. As soon as he took a step, she grabbed the wine glass and broke it against the table. Wine and glass flew everywhere.
“Emmy, please. I don’t want to go, please.” He realized he didn’t care if she cut him. Losing her would be worse than any cut. He took another step toward her. Instead of swiping at him, she held the broken glass to her wrist.
“I swear if you come any closer to me, I’ll cut myself.” Em knew well enough that Lukas wouldn’t care what she did to him, but he’d never let her hurt herself. She hated herself for doing this and for the weakness in her that wanted to just forget everything and run into those arms that had held her so many nights.
“God damn it, Emmalyn, this is not funny.” He’d never known Emmalyn to act so irrationally. Just the opposite, she was always too rational, too linear. He wanted to kick himself for pushing her that far.
“I know it’s not, and I’m not joking. You really don’t see what you’ve done, do you? Let me shed some light on the subject for you. Do you remember the first night we were together?”
“Of course I do. You know I do.”
“I remember that conversation like it just happened. I wanted to lie there with you forever. You asked me what my deal breakers were. Remember what I said?” she asked too calmly for someone holding broken glass to her own wrist.
He did, and as his mind registered the severity of his situation, he took a step back and slid down the wall onto the floor.
“Oh c’mon, Lukas, what did I say? You’re the one always saying how you remember every conversation we’ve ever had.” She waited for him to speak, growing increasingly frustrated. “What did I say?”
“You said that you couldn’t abide a man who couldn’t keep his promises. That I could tell you anything and that even if you didn’t agree or wasn’t happy with what I said, you’d respect it because I respected you enough to be up front. But Em, I didn’t break…,” he said weakly, unable to finish the sentence. He tasted the lie as the words formed.
“Ah, but you did. Before you left, I asked you if you were going to come to the office for the partnership ceremony then to the party, and you said, and I quote, ‘I will be there, I promise, wearing your favorite tie,’” she sneered.
“But Em, you can’t end a relationship because I missed one event. That just can’t happen,” Lukas whispered.
“Think back, my love. How many times have we made plans in the last six weeks and you either didn’t show or came so late that you may as well have not shown at all?”
“Emmy…”
“I’ve been putting up with this for so long, I’ve lost count. Dinners, drinks, appointments — and a part of me breaks every time. But I kept telling myself that we love each other and you’d come to see how important those things are to me and you’d show up. But then you don’t, and I break all over again. You tell me every day that you love me, but it’s very rare that you care enough to show me. Your words don’t matter to me, Lukas. Never did. When you bought me the earrings, you thought that I needed the words to know how you felt, but I didn’t. I’d been eyeing those earrings for months, and you’d noticed and bought them for me. That’s how I knew. But I need you to be there for the little things. And I didn’t get the promotion by the way. They gave that job to Greg Harper. The party was for him.”
Lukas felt his stomach drop. There it was—the reason this was so bad. He could hear the door closing on his relationship with Emmy, just as loud as the ticking of the mantle clock. “Oh Emmy, I am so sorry. I know how much that meant to you.” Lukas started to get up off the floor, but one look at Emmalyn’s furious face stilled his movements.
“I need for you to leave Lukas. I can’t keep doing this with you. I can’t depend on you to be there when I need you, and that’s the single most important thing to me. I told you that. We both know I’ll keep taking you back because I love you with all my heart. But so much disappointment—I can’t function.” Her eyes welled up, but the tears didn’t fall. “So please, if you care for me at all, just go. Don’t look back, don’t say goodbye, just walk out the door.”
The glass shard dropped from her hand as she slumped into her chair and put her head on the table. She didn’t begin to cry until she heard the front door close.
4
Fast Cars and Late Nights Fast Cars and Late Nights
“So. You want to tell me what that was all about?” Brian looked over at the large, muscular black man erratically driving the car fifteen miles over the speed limit through downtown and wondered if he would be able to overpower him and take control of the car. He knew he couldn’t and decided to try to talk him into slowing down before they both ended up in jail or dead. “Okay, then. How do you know Emmalyn and Isabel?”
“I don’t want to talk about them,” Lukas responded through gritted teeth. He mashed his foot on the gas, increasing his speed another five miles per hour. Brian looked around for cops and a way out, just in case.
“That’s fine. Can I drive then?” Brian tried asking casually, but the erratic speeds were causing him serious concern.
“Why? What’s wrong with the way I am driving?” Lukas challenged.
“Nothing—if we were racing in the Daytona 500, but since we’re just in downtown Charlotte, going significantly less than seventy-five miles per hour is more appropriate.”
Lukas looked down at the speedometer. He pulled his foot off the gas and let the car slow down. They rode the rest of the way to Brian’s house in strained silence.
“Do you want to come in? I’m willing to listen if you want to talk. I have beer. Or something stronger.” Brian tried to get his friend and co-worker to come in and stay off the roads while he was so upset.
“No thanks. I’m okay. Really.” Lukas tried to reassure his friend but failed miserably. He exhaled sharply and punched the steering wheel in frustration. “Em and I used to date. I haven’t seen her in five years, since the day we broke up.”
“Ah, I understand now.”
“I was so in love with her. I’d have done anything in the world to be with her except the one thing she asked of me. I didn’t take her or our relationship seriously, and I lost her. Seeing her tonight, I just—I don’t know.”
“You can’t still love her? A long time has passed, man, not to mention you are engaged to another woman.”
“I don’t know what I feel. And I remember that I am engaged to someone else. It’s just that I saw her lying there covered in pasta sauce looking absolutely adorable, and I don’t know… I would have sworn no time had passed, and she was still my Emmy.” Brian started to laugh. “What’s so funny?”
“She hates to be called Emmy. I once watched her lay into a guy at a bar who called her Emmy, and he still avoids her like the plague. I couldn’t really understand why, but now I understand.�
� Brian tried to straighten up his face. He really wasn’t trying to be unsympathetic to his friend. He cleared his throat then said, “Sorry, you were saying?”
Lukas sighed. “I called her Emmy when we were together. She and I were an instant thing. I knew she was the one for me the moment I laid eyes on her.” Lukas laid his head back on the headrest and closed his eyes.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t think there is an issue here. She didn’t seem happy to see you. Besides, you’re only here for a couple of weeks then it’s back to the west coast. I need a beer. If you’re sure you don’t want to come in…” Brian stepped out of the car then leaned into the window.
“I’m sure. I need to check in with Pop, then get some sleep. We have an early start tomorrow. Thanks for listening. G’night, man.”
Lukas pulled away from the curb and headed to his father’s house. Driving across town, Lukas thought back to his run-in with Emmalyn. She looked exactly as she had the last time he saw her. The last five years had done nothing to diminish her beauty, at least in his eyes. He hated himself for being the cause of her pain—yet again. He knew in is gut that if only he’d had a chance to talk to her, then…. Then what? Brian was right. He was engaged to a wonderful woman back west, and he had no business trying to explain anything to Emmy. The fact was she’d thrown him out. He didn’t owe her anything.
He parked in front of his pop’s house and used his key to get in the door.
“Who’s there?” came the gravelly voice he’d known all his life.
“No one, Pop. That’s why I used the key.” Dropping his stuff on the table, he walked back to the family room where his father was watching TV.
“Took you long enough to get back here. Where have you been?” Pop asked, completely unaware that Lukas was no longer a teenager living under his roof, as if that mattered.
“I went to have a drink with a couple of the guys I used to work with,” Lukas responded with forced casualness.
“So, what’s wrong with you?” Pop fixed Lukas a pointed stare.
Lukas cringed. He hated that his father could read him so easily. But he was in no mood to rehash the evening with the man. “Nothing. What do you want for dinner?” Lukas headed for the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. He had only a moment’s notice before the door was snatched out of his hand and slammed shut. “Damn, Pop!”
“Don’t you stand here and lie to me. Now, what happened?” The old man was at least four inches shorter than his son, but in no way did that diminish the older man’s authority. He looked ready to bash Lukas’s head in if he didn’t start talking, and soon.
Lukas needed to take a deep breath and then rubbed his eyes before he was able to speak. “I ran into Emmy at the bar. She was with Zavia and Isabel.”
“And?”
Lukas recounted the entire exchange between him and Emmalyn, or the lack thereof. Just saying the words out loud gave him a pain in his chest that burned like swallowed fire. The heat radiated from his chest to his gut until he thought he was going to be sick. Pop just stood there looking at him like he was the world’s biggest idiot.
He told himself that he really only wanted to make sure she was all right, but he recognized the lie. He wanted more, so much more than that. He sighed and leaned heavily against the refrigerator.
“Lukas, you’re getting married in a month. It’s no business of yours if she is okay or not. Stay away from her.”
“Pop, I just wanted to make sure the woman was okay. That’s all.” The lie tasted salty in his mouth.
“So, why are you all knotted up?” Pop asked. He wanted to reach out and slap his son across the head.
“I don’t know.” Another salty lie. He needed to get away before his blood pressure went up.
“She left you and broke your heart.”
“That’s not what happened, and you know it.” Lukas tried to push past his father and go up to his room. Stronger than he looked, Pop pushed him back against the refrigerator.
“What I understand better than you is that you have finally gotten over that girl and moved on with your life. You never should have dated her. She always thought she was better than us.”
“No, she didn’t. She thought she was better than you, and that’s because you were so mean to her.”
“I was never mean to that girl,” Pop defended.
“Her name is Emmy, Pop, not “that girl.” And it’s a moot point. She doesn’t want to talk to me, and she doesn’t live in the same place as she did before I moved, so I can’t find her. I’m going to bed. Good night.”
“Son. Hold up a sec. How do you know she doesn’t live in the same place as she did before?” Lukas didn’t turn around, but he was pretty sure his father was staring a hole in the back of his head.
“I told you. I wanted to make sure she was okay. You don’t have to worry. I’m not going to go looking for her again.” Lukas successfully made his escape before his father could respond.
*
Lukas lay in bed tossing and turning. After a while, he gave up and went down to the kitchen for something to eat. He hadn’t eaten at the bar, and after arguing with his father, he never did get around to having dinner. He found his father sitting at the table in the kitchen.
“Pop! What are you doing up? It’s after one.” Lukas pulled out the chair across from his father. He reached over to the counter behind him and grabbed an apple, wiping it on his shirt before taking a big bite.
“I’m old, and I don’t sleep too much these days. Everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt has stopped working. What are you doing up?”
“I was hungry and figured I’d come down and grab a snack to calm my stomach.” He took a big bite of the apple then set it down on the table.
“Boy, we have lived in this house all your life. You should remember that your room is directly over this kitchen,” said Pop laughing.
“So. What’s your point?” Lukas asked the question, but he already knew the answer.
“My point is that your bed has been over my head for the last hour and a half. I’ve heard you tossing and turning. What’s on your mind? Better be your wedding and not Emmalyn Chase.”
Lukas had never heard his father call Em by her full name. He was surprised he remembered it after all this time.
“Actually, I was thinking about the wedding,” Lukas admitted.
“And Emmalyn,” Pop prodded.
“Yes. My brain and my body’s reaction to seeing her today has me confused. I honestly thought I was over her. Now? I don’t know what to think.”
“Do you love Sunny? In your heart of hearts, do you love Sunny?”
“I thought so. But what I feel for Sunny is nothing compared to what I feel for Emmy, even after all this time. I miss Emmy so much, Pop. I miss holding her. I miss kissing her. Hell, I even miss the way she used to dance around the kitchen to annoying teen pop music when she cleaned.”
Pop remained silent, lost in his own thoughts. He had never thought Emmalyn was right for his son, and still didn’t. But he wanted his son to be happy with the woman waiting for him in California, not with the witch that had broken him years before. “So, why are you marrying Sunny?” he finally asked.
“Honestly? Because I want a family. I’m ready to settle down. I didn’t think I’d ever have a second chance with Emmalyn, and I knew I needed to stop waiting for her. Sunny is a great woman—kind, compassionate, caring.” His voice trailed off, and he tried to picture his fiancée in his mind. The only image he could muster was Emmalyn. That couldn’t be a good sign.
“That’s not a reason to marry a woman, Lukas. I taught you better than that. I married your mother because she was always the only woman in the room. I could never see anyone else but her, no matter who else was around. You’re using one woman as a replacement for another woman and that just isn’t fair, to any of you.”
“So, what are you saying? I should call off my engagement to Sunny? And tell her what? Then I’ll have two women that hate my guts.” Lu
kas tossed the apple core into the trash, got out of the chair and got a glass of water. He thought about what his father was saying. Was Sunny just a replacement for Emmy?
“I’m saying that perhaps you need to close the chapter with Emmalyn before you open a new one with Sunny.”
“And how should I do that? She doesn’t want to see me, and I’ve been warned off by her friends. I don’t want to make things worse with her.” Lukas’s voice was just a hair shy of whining. He groaned.
Pop laughed, a full belly laugh, at his son’s expense. “Do you really think you are going to make things worse? She’s running from you in bars. That’s pretty bad, son.”
Lukas chuckled at his father’s logic. He kissed the top of his father’s head as he walked back toward the stairs. “Thanks, Pop. I needed this chat.”
Pop hesitated before calling out, “If you really want to see her, she works downtown at Carlson Design Consultants. Be very sure of what you want before you go after her. And remember the woman waiting to marry you back west.” Pop laughed at himself. His son had turned out to be more like him than he’d thought. “Quite the mess you’ve created for yourself, my boy. Quite the mess indeed.”
Lukas climbed the staircase, went to his room, and got back into bed. He continued to toss and turn, but this time it was excitement keeping him awake. He’d finally come up with a fool-proof plan to convince his Emmy to talk to him.
5
Always One Thing or Another
“Oh, my God, Isabel, will you please go home? I’m fine. And I know you have better things to do today—like work. Please. Go.” Emmalyn hated the begging tone her voice had taken on, but three days of Isabel and Zavia babysitting her was driving her insane.
“It’s no problem. I don’t mind keeping you company.” Isabel and Em had been friends long enough for Isabel to know that Em wasn’t talking about taking advantage of her time. Em wasn’t fine. Any idiot could see. And as anxious as Isabel was to get back to her own life—she’d had to cancel two dates already—she didn’t want to leave her friend to fall into darkness alone.
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