by Santo, JC
I had no intentions of confessing all of this. It's the fatigue, it's causing me to have word vomit. I need to shut the hell up before I confess way more than I'm ready to.
“I'm exhausted, you wanna go take a nap?” I check the time on my phone, it's pushing ten in the morning.
“That sounds amazing.”
We both fall into bed and have what I consider one of the best naps of my entire life.
It’s been two weeks since the twins were born. Two weeks of all of us fussing over these two tiny little things. Two weeks of all of my woman’s attention and free time being spent at her sister’s house, again. It’s like the wedding planning all over again.
The only plus to her attention being elsewhere is I've been working longer hours, getting some of our birds ready to ship out on another deployment.
Work hasn't been the same since Tess left, but at least I still have Jo and J.C. to hang out with when they aren't arguing or giving each other the silent treatment. With this upcoming deployment, I know at least one of us will have to go out on this one. I can only hope it isn't me.
I know that sounds really shitty, but I'm alright with that. I don't give a fuck, honestly; my priority right now is Tegan and our relationship, not another deployment. And I think it might do those two some good to get a break from each other.
Everyone is still in the dark with what exactly is happening, or has happened, or will happen with them. All we know is what we’ve speculated from their cryptic behavior.
We won't know who is going until after the Christmas holiday. That is, unless one of us decides to volunteer.
I got a random text today from Hunter asking if I could meet him for coffee at the Dunkin’ Donuts down the street from the base entrance. I let the guys know I’m stepping out for a lunch break and climb into my truck.
Worry starts to nag at me; I don’t know why he’d need to meet with me. The last time it wasn’t a great meet-up when he texted me.
I park, walk in, and go ahead and order my coffee and one of their breakfast sandwiches. I don’t care what time of day it is, a Dunkin’ Donut sandwich is always a good idea.
His Jeep pulls into the parking lot and parks next to my truck. He climbs out and proceeds to pull Sawyer from the back seat. They walk in and he nods in my direction. Sawyer sees me and sprints as fast as her little legs will go across the small dining room to me.
“Hey, sweet girl. I didn’t know your dad was bringing with today.”
“He told me he was comin’ ta see you. I thought Teevan was gonna be hewre too.” She looks around searching for her aunt.
“Oh no, I’m sorry, babe, I was at work, and Tegan is, too.”
She climbs up in the booth beside me. “It’s otay.”
Hunter slides into the seat across from us.
“What’s up, man?”
“Hey, man. Come here Sawyer, sit by me and you can play on my phone.”
She quickly hops down from my side of the booth and plants herself beside her dad. He pulls a set of headphones and his phone out of his jacket pocket, setting it all up for her. Once she’s zoned into something on the phone, he brings his attention back to me.
“Sorry, I know this was last minute. I just wanted to talk.” He nods toward his daughter. “Couldn’t get away without this one.”
“No big deal. What’s up? What’d you want to talk about?”
“I haven’t had a chance to thank you to start off with.” I look at him confused. “I know you didn’t have to come to the hospital, and honestly, after the way Tessa and I have shunned you since we saw that kiss at the wedding, I’m surprised you did come. I wouldn’t have blamed you if you hadn’t.”
“Hunter, dude. I know you guys didn’t approve before the wedding ever happened, and I know I went about the entire Tegan situation wrong. But I still would have been there, even if Tegan and I weren’t together, I would have been there for that. You two are some of my best friends, you especially.”
He slowly nods his head taking in everything I’m saying.
“The Tegan situation is the other thing I wanted to talk to you about.”
Mentally, I roll my eyes, I really hope he isn’t here to talk me out of being with his sister-in-law, because that isn’t happening.
“I know it probably doesn’t matter to you, but I just wanted to say I’m proud of you for standing your ground and being honest with Tess and me. I truly hope the best for you guys.”
“Seriously?” I ask, dumbfounded.
“Yeah, seriously. I thought you two were just fucking around back in the summer. I didn’t know you actually cared about her.”
I shrug my shoulders. No matter how many times I claim it was just sex at the beginning, I know that’s a lie.
A lie that I hate that I allowed myself to believe for so long. A lie that was the cause of four months of both of us being miserable.
“Honestly, man, that’s what I wanted originally. I was too afraid I wouldn’t measure up to give her anything more, but I think even back then—no, I know even back then I was already falling for her.”
“So you were serious at Thanksgiving? You’re in love with her?”
“Fuck yeah I am. I just gotta figure out how to tell her now.”
“Want some advice on that?”
I shrug. What can it hurt to hear what he has to say?
“Sure.”
“Just say it, Reed. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture or anything like that.”
“I know, but I want it to be for her.”
Hunter leans back in the seat and smiles.
“You’re so fuckin’ head over heels, aren’t you?”
I meet his smile with one of my own.
“Fuck, man.” I look at my phone. “I’ve gotta get back to work.”
We both start to collect all of our trash and Hunter gets Sawyer’s attention to move out of the booth.
“Alright, man.” He claps a hand on my back. “I guess I’ll see you later then.”
“Thanks for this, Hunter. I appreciate it.”
He nods as I walk away and head back to work.
Christmas is less than two weeks away, followed by our trip to Michigan. I don’t know which I’m more nervous about: giving Tegan her gift or introducing her to my parents.
I still haven’t told my parents I’m bringing someone with me yet. Actually, I’m not sure Tegan has told her sister she’s going with me yet. The only person I know for sure that is aware of our little vacation is Marshall, and possibly her loud friend from work, Ashley.
Guess it’s time to change that.
Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I scroll through the contacts until I find the number I need.
Mom
She answers immediately. “Hey, handsome son of mine.”
“Hey, Ma.”
“How’s everything going? You’re not calling to tell me you’re cancelling your trip home, are you?”
I’ve done that a few times since moving out here. Tracking back, I can’t remember the last time I actually went home. Going back to Michigan is hard for me. My adoptive parents are great, always have been since the first day I was placed with them, but going back drags me deep into the past. Further into the black hole of my childhood, past the good memories they provided me with and into the shit that I try to keep locked away.
“No, Ma. I’ll be there on the twenty-eighth, don’t worry. I’m coming.”
“Hmm, okay.” She still sounds skeptical. “We’ve only seen you once since you got to Virginia.”
Guess that answers my question. It’s been about three years since I made a trip home.
“I wanted to give you a heads up that I’m bringing someone with me.”
“Oh, okay. Well I’ll be sure to set up the guest room then,” she says.
In a split second decision, I decide to wait and not inform her that the someone I’m bringing home won’t require the guest room, because she’ll be in my bed with me.
“Ahh,
yeah, okay, Mom.”
“Alright well, I need to get off here, I’m picking up Tanner from school this afternoon; he’s getting his braces off today at the orthodontist.”
I smile at the thought of my younger brother getting his braces off finally. The kid was a metal mouth when I enlisted four years ago. He probably doesn’t look like the lanky, fourteen-year-old, pimple-faced kid that I left back in Michigan.
“Okay, Ma, I’ll see you in a couple weeks then.”
“Bye, Reed.”
Hearing my mom call me by my last name makes me realize that I’m going to have to explain that to Tegan as well as all the other bullshit from my past that will come up in the time we’re in Michigan.
Fuck, this is going to be a long trip.
Tegan
I’m so thrilled about tonight. It’s Christmas Eve. Growing up Tess and my family always opened presents on this night of the year.
It’s the twins first Christmas, and even though they won’t have any recollection of this one, Sawyer will. And it’s also Tessa’s first one as a mother to all three of these angels and my first as an aunt.
Our parents decided to make the trip back up here again to spend the holidays with all of us. Mom has been dying to get her hands on Parker and Madison, but Daddy said they should hold out until Christmas. That way, Sawyer was included in the trip as well.
I volunteered to pick up my parents from the airport late last night. I also uselessly offered my spare room at my apartment for them to stay in, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen. My mom has been chomping at the bit to get ahold of the twins.
It actually worked out better for them to stay at Tessa’s. Charlie had watch until midnight last night. When I got back to my apartment from dropping off Mom and Daddy, he was parked outside waiting for me.
And Charlie Reed in a uniform just does things to me. It accentuates his broad shoulders and trim waistline. I’ve never been a fan of the shades of blue and gray that make up the camo, but now I find myself drawn to those colors.
Last night was intense for both of us. I don’t remember the last time Charlie took me that hard or fast. It’s been awhile, though.
I woke up sore, yet sedated, today. It was a nice way to clear my mind before explaining to my parents that I’m dating Reed.
Charlie was up before I was this morning. I woke up to him cooking breakfast wearing nothing but a pair of low-hanging sweats. Trust me, all of my soreness was forgotten at the sight of his naked torso and tattoo-covered arms. The waistband of his sweats so low I can see the trail of hair leading down to the source of my soreness.
Regrettably, there isn’t time to satisfy my sexual desires this morning, Charlie has a watch at noon, so he should be able to join us around 5:00 PM.
During breakfast, however, Charlie’s phone chimes with an incoming message.
“Fuck,” he says as he reads it. “My Chief wants to see me after my watch.”
“What? On Christmas Eve?”
“Yeah, unfortunately it pertains to an upcoming deployment. It’s time sensitive.”
“Deployment?” He hasn’t mentioned deploying to me.
“Yeah, I haven’t brought it up yet because I didn’t want to see that look you have on your face right now unless I knew I was going.”
I try to fight back tears. “So are you?”
“I’m not sure, babe. I’ll know after this afternoon, though, hopefully.”
I don’t reply to him; I’m too busy trying not to cry. Things have been going so well for us lately, and I think the trip to Michigan will only improve our relationship even more. And now it will all be put on hold while he’s deployed for who knows how long.
“Hey, babe, don’t stress. We don’t know anything yet. There’s no reason to get worked up until we know if I’m going or not.”
I nod. He’s right, no need to get worked up over him possibly deploying. I need to get my emotions in check. I’ve known this is a possibility—it always will be with him serving in the Navy. If I want us to work, I have to not only accept it but be able to handle it as well.
“Why don’t we get ready to go, and I’ll drop you off at Hunter’s before I run to work?”
“No, it’s okay. I can drive myself over there.”
“I know you can, babe, but I want to be with you tonight, so there’s no point in takin’ two cars.”
I can’t argue with his logic. After hearing that he might deploy, I want to be with him as much as possible.
Nodding my agreement, we finish our pancakes and bacon before getting dressed and leaving.
Arriving at Tessa’s house, Charlie puts the car in park and turns to face me.
“alright, I’ll be back in just a few.” He places both hands on my cheeks. “Whatever the outcome is, don’t stress. We’ll get through it, okay?”
“Okay.”
He leans in and fuses our lips together.
“I’ll see you later, okay, babe?”
“Alright.”
I climb out and watch the truck pull away before turning around and going into the house. Hunter and Tess already know Charlie has a meeting after his watch. J.C. was here earlier; he told them what was going on ahead of time.
Being around my mom and sister manages to lighten the somber mood I’m carrying around.
The three of us girls—Mom, Tessa, and I—are in the kitchen cooking Mexican food while we chat and catch up. Mom has known I have been “seeing” someone for a while now, but this will be the first time she finds out who it is.
Although I know they already like him, that was as my sister’s friend and not my seven year older boyfriend.
“So tell me, Bug.” She smiles at me. “How’re things going with this Charlie fella?”
I’ve only called him Charlie to my parents, they know him currently as Reed.
“They’re good, Momma.” I can’t help the slight blush that appears on my cheeks.
“Seems like there’s more to tell than that,” she probes.
“Oh, Momma, you should see the two of them. They looked like something out of one of Bug’s romance books at the hospital,” my sister chimes in.
“You’ve met him, Tess?”
She gives an enthusiastic nod looking in my direction with a confused look on her face.
“You haven’t told her, have you, Bug?”
I shake my head.
“Told me what?” mom asks, lost in where this conversation has turned.
“Momma, you’ve met Charlie before, at Tessa’s wedding.”
I can see her racking her brain to try to match the name to a face. Unfortunately, it won’t happen. She’s scanning her memory for a man named Charlie when she was introduced to a man named Reed.
“I don’t remember a Charlie. But there were so many people I was introduced to that night, there’s no way I can remember all of them.”
“Momma, do you remember all of my friends you met? My close friends?”
“Of course. There was J.C., Jo, Reed, Isaac, Marshall, and the other girl, Miller, right? I probably can’t tell you all of the details of everyone, but I recall the names.”
“Okay.” Tess looks to me before she enlightens our mom. I give her a slight nod. “Charlie is Reed’s first name. Tegan is dating Reed.”
“Reed…” She ponders his name for a moment. “He was the handsome, broody one, right? Spent most of the night at the bar?”
Great, that’s exactly how I want my mom to think of Charlie.
“He was heartbroken over your daughter at the time, unknown to all of us,” Tess explains.
“What? Are you serious? Tegan?” She looks to me to confirm everything my sister has said.
“It’s true, Momma. He’ll be here in a little bit, but yeah, we’re dating. I’m also going to Michigan with him next week for New Year’s Eve.”
“What?” they both say in unison.
Oops. Probably could have thought of a better way to tell them that. I’ve been prancing around telling T
essa, not that I’m afraid she’ll be upset, but it does change the dynamic of mine and Charlie’s relationship. If any of our friends didn’t believe he was serious, this trip proves otherwise.
And it gives me hope that this relationship is going somewhere.
“He invited me to go home with him. I’ve been meaning to tell you, Tess, but with the twins being born and the holidays, everything has been hectic.”
“Oh, my God. You love him, don’t you?” my sister asks.
“What?”
“You do. I’m not dumb or blind, Bug. I’ve seen the looks y’all have given each other since y’all came out to all of us. You’re in love with him.”
“Shhh. I don’t know.” I peek around to make sure no one has snuck in the kitchen to hear our conversation. “I haven’t really thought about it.”
“Tegan, love isn’t something you have to think about. It’s something you feel, sweetie,” my mom adds in.
“Well, I don’t know what I feel just yet.”
“Well, I can tell you what I saw from an outsider’s point of view. If you two ain’t in love yet, you’re both headed that direction,” Tess confesses.
“I guess we’ll see. I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I don’t want to scare him off by throwing crazy words like love around. We like each other and we’re having fun for now.”
“Well, I’m excited for you. And I can’t wait to meet the real Reed and not the heartbroken one with a chip on his shoulder. And if you are in love with him, that boy is damn lucky.”
“So the age difference doesn’t bother you, Mom?”
She swats her hand in the air. “Who cares? Age ain’t nothing but a number, baby. If he makes you happy, and you make him happy, then I, as a mother, am satisfied.” She places a kiss to my temple and whispers, “But you’d better warn your father before Reed arrives. I think he might have a heart attack to see one of Tess’s friends hugging on you without a forewarning.”