by Santo, JC
As soon as we land, Charlie powers up his cell and sends a text message, letting them know we’re headed to baggage claim now.
Here we go.
“My dad is meeting us here,” Charlie claims as he leads me through this huge airport with ease.
Of course, I have no clue of the man we’re looking for. I’ve never seen a picture, and I can’t go by resemblance to Charlie’s features.
Charlie is searching through the crowd of people at baggage claim looking for his father. I feel somewhat worthless that I’m not helping.
I spot a tall man with short dark hair and a pot belly standing beside the carousel. He seems to be searching for someone as well. I see him look at me then down to my hand which is linked with Charlie’s, and realization crosses his face.
This has to be his dad.
Tapping Charlie on the arm, I nod in the direction of the man. With a smile, Charlie leads us straight to him. He lets go of my hand to embrace the man in a hug.
“Hey, bud. It’s good to see you,” the man says.
“Hey, Dad.”
They let go of each other and both of their attention is now focused on me.
“Umm, hi,” I say unsure of myself.
“Dad, this is my girlfriend, Tegan,” Charlie announces proudly.
“Girlfriend?” He glances from me to Charlie and back again. “I had no idea. You must be some kind of woman to get this guy into a relationship.” He shakes my hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Tegan. I hope our Reed is treating you right.”
Our Reed?
I try to hide my confusion.
“He’s been great so far, sir.”
“Oh, don’t with the sir. I’m Jacob, but everyone calls me Jake.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Jake.”
“Hey,” Charlie pipes in. “I’m going to grab our luggage.” I now notice the carousel has started moving. “You guys get to know each other, I’ll handle this.”
He steps away leaving the two of us.
“I didn’t realize Reed was bringing a woman home with him.”
“Hmm, I caught onto that during the flight. He told me y’all would be fine with me staying in your home, but I’m more than willing to reserve a hotel if you’d prefer. I don’t want to start off on the wrong foot.”
He seems to think this over for a second.
“Well, I appreciate your consideration. But I’m sure my wife will love having another female in the house. She’s outnumbered by us guys. And if you don’t want to start off on the wrong foot, I’d suggest not mentioning a hotel to her. She enjoys having people over, especially those who mean something to one of our sons.”
Unsure of what else to say on the matter, I simply nod my agreeance.
“So what’s Reed taking you to do this week? Have you ever been to Detroit before?”
“No, sir, and I have no idea what his plans are. He’s been pretty tight-lipped about everything.”
He chuckles just as Charlie walks up carrying his sea bag over his shoulder and pulling my purple suitcase behind him.
“Purple is your color, bud.”
“Shut up, Dad. You two ready to get out of here? I’m starved.”
“We can pick up Coney Island on the way to the house,” Jake suggests.
“That sounds amazing.” Charlie looks to me. “Have you had Coney’s before?”
“Nope, I’m assuming they’re good?”
“The best.”
“I’m in then.” I smile.
“Alright, well, let’s get going then. I know your mom is dying to see you, Reed, and I have a feeling this little surprise you sprung on us,” he lifts his chin toward me, “will have her bouncing off the walls with excitement.”
Well, Charlie’s dad seems to like me, now I just hope the initial meeting with his mom goes just as well.
The entire drive to Charlie’s parents’ home, I wonder about the name thing. Jake called Charlie Reed multiple times. Charlie’s never mentioned it to me before. I know military go by their last names, which is why all of our friends refer to him as Reed, but why his dad?
Reed
Driving from the airport to my parents’ house, I wonder when my anxiety will start to take over. I’ve made it farther this time than ever before; normally getting to the airport in Norfolk causes it to spike before I ever get on a plane.
I try to tell Tegan about some of the interesting things as we pass, but I’m having a hard time remembering them myself.
Tegan’s arm comes up from the back seat, incessantly patting my shoulder.
“What is that?” she exclaims.
I glance out the window to see what’s caught her attention. The Uniroyal giant tire has been around for as long as I can remember. Most people use it as a mile marker, so to speak. It’s like a beacon telling travelers, “You’ve made it to Detroit.”
“It used to be a Ferris wheel but it’s been renovated and now is just a huge landmark for the city of Detroit.”
“That is awesome!”
“Ma. We’re here!” I yell as I lead the way into the house.
Everything seems the same in here. I look around and notice some of the framed photos have changed to more recent ones.
I bypass the stairs, noting that the old railing I used to slide down has been replaced. The solid wood floors throughout the house are still intact. The number of chips and dings I caused to this floor is astounding.
I hear pots and pans clanking together then the shuffling of feet as my mom appears in the kitchen entryway wearing the same old apron I remember from my first day in this house and her ever-welcoming warm smile.
I walk/run to her and wrap her in my arms.
“Hey, Ma,” I whisper.
“Hi, Reed,” She sobs.
Mom has always been emotional with us boys. She truly is one of those women who was born to be a mother. Her nurturing and compassion with broken children is something most of us never thought we’d be fortunate to experience for ourselves firsthand.
“Mom, there’s someone I need you to meet.” I pull back slightly to look into her eyes. “You gotta quit crying Ma.” I wipe away the few stray tears that have leaked from her eyes. “She means a lot to me.”
I hear my mother’s gasp as I turn my back and wave Tegan, who’s been patiently standing back with my father watching us, forward. She timidly steps up, and I wrap an arm around her.
“Ma, this is Tegan. My girlfriend.”
Mom’s head snaps back and forth between Tegan and me.
Tegan smiles and holds her hand out. “Hi, Mrs. Reed, it’s nice to—”
The wind is knocked out of her when Ma pulls her to her in a hug.
“Don’t you dare call me Mrs. Reed,” she says while still hugging Tegan. “I’m Marie,” she clarifies as she pulls away.
“I’m Tegan.”
“It’s lovely to meet you, dear. Come into the living room, I wanna know all about you.” She and Tegan walk away, leaving me standing in shock at the way that meeting went. “Reed—” Mom looks over her shoulder “—carry your bags upstairs to your room, please.”
I knew my parents would like Tegan, but actually seeing it happen is a little mind-blowing for me.
Doing as my mom asked, I lift both suitcases and march up the stairs to my room.
Opening the door, I expect to find everything the same as I left it, just like downstairs. I’m stunned to see that Mom has redecorated in here.
Dad’s voice carries through the room from the doorway.
“Your mom turned it into a guest room since you hadn’t really seemed interested in coming home. We kept all of your old stuff, though. Maybe one day you and that pretty girl of yours can drive home for a trip and you can load it all up with you.”
“We can probably do that. So what do you think of her, Dad?”
He ponders for a moment.
“It doesn’t matter what I think of her, Reed. The question is what do you think of her?
I have my suspici
ons, but I want to hear your thoughts.”
“I’m in love with her.”
“Thought so.” He nods. “You definitely chose wisely with her, didn’t you? She seems wonderful so far.”
“She is.”
“Now, you should probably get ready, you know your mom is going to try convincing you to go see your birth mother.”
I shrug my shoulders.
“Look, Reed, I don’t like to push my opinions on anyone, especially you and Tanner, but I’ve got to say my piece over all of this. I’ve kept quiet for a long time regarding your biological mother.” I nod my head and cross my arms. Whatever my dad says, it’s going to be worth it. He never speaks just to hear himself talk. “You need to move on from it. She did you wrong as a child, but she wasn’t in her right head, you know that. The only thing she could think of was her next fix, and it was the same with Tanner’s mother. But until the two of you let go of the grudges you’re holding against them, you won’t ever heal completely and move on from the burden they carry on you two.”
He pushes off the door frame and stands in front of me.
“You do whatever is going to benefit you in the long run, son. If you think you can move on and give that girl downstairs every bit of your heart, then do that. But if you can’t, which I’m betting is the case, you’ve got to get rid of that burden you’re holding onto. You can forgive without forgetting, Reed.”
I nod my head once, and Dad pulls me into a hug before walking out of my room.
Once I’ve composed myself, I go back downstairs.
The front door flies open, and I hear the now baritone voice of my fifteen-year-old brother when I step off the final step of the staircase.
“What’s up, Jackass?”
He wraps an arm around my neck, and we walk into the kitchen.
“Language, Tanner,” Mom yells from the living room. We both silently laugh at her constant attempt to control our horrible mouths.
“Hey, asshole. When the hell did you get so damn big?” I ask when I finally get a good look at him.
“It’s been three years, Reed. What’d you think I’d stop growing?”
Tanner has had a growth spurt. When I last saw him, he was just beginning the stages of puberty. He still looked like a child, but now, he’s well into the process of becoming a man. His former light-brown hair has a much darker tone now and the cut is different. He no longer has the chubby cheeks I use to always pinch, now instead, he has defined cheekbones and a sharp jawline.
Looking at him now, we could pass for biological relatives. We both have tan skin and dark hair, obviously from some Hispanic descent, but my eyes are a green color where his are a deep brown.
“No, but, Jesus, I didn’t think I’d leave my little brother and come back to a grown ass man.”
“Yep. Want me to take you for a drive later? Your baby brother even has a learner’s permit now,” he wiggles his eyebrows.
“I’ll pass on that, thanks. I value my life.”
“Whatever, your loss. What’s Mom doing?” He starts looking around in the fridge for something to eat.
“She’s in the living room with Tegan.”
His interest is spiked.
“Tegan?”
“Yeah, my girlfriend.”
“Shut the hell up. I gotta see this!”
I follow behind him and introduce him to Tegan. It doesn’t take long before he disappears to his room and Dad is in the living room watching television. Tegan volunteers to help Mom with dinner while I hang out with my Dad.
While I want to hang out with Tegan, I love that she is comfortable enough with Ma to not need me to stay by her side constantly.
After they’ve been in the kitchen for about an hour, I pop in just to make sure Tegan is okay. I walk in, wrap my arms around her waist, and place a small kiss to her neck.
“You quit distracting my help, Reed,” Mom teases as she smacks me on my thigh in passing.
“Sorry, Ma, I can’t help it, though.”
She doesn’t respond but continues busying herself at the stove.
“Okay, I need to talk with you,” she says as she stirs a pot of something.
“What’s up?”
“You need to sit, this isn’t going to be a pleasant conversation, and I want to get it out of the way. Tegan, you’re welcome to stay if Reed is comfortable with it.”
She looks to me for her cue; I nod and grip her waist for support. I know what’s coming. Every single time I come home I get this spiel from my mom.
We all sit at the table, Tegan to my left and Mom across from me.
“We need to talk about your birth mother, Reed.”
“Ma, no. There’s nothing to talk about.”
“There is. I think you need to go visit her. It’s time, Reed, you can do this. And I’m sure with Tegan by your side, you can handle it.”
I don’t say anything; I don’t want anything to do with my birth mother, I don’t know why my mom continues pushing this, but especially now. I don’t want my relationship with Tegan to be tainted by my past.
“Just think about it. You’re finally moving on from the damages she caused you. I’ve seen it in the way you care for her.” She nods toward Tegan. “Allow her to be there for you. You deserve to move on from this, you deserve to be completely happy. And you won’t be until you forgive her.”
“Forgive her? Ma, I don’t need to forgive her.” I’m trying not to raise my voice.
My mom and I have had many conversations about this, and most of them end with me yelling and storming out of the room. I don’t want to do that this time.
“Maybe forgive is the wrong term to use. You need to let go of the past and all the pain she’s caused you so that you’re able to fully move on.”
“Charlie?” Tegan prompts.
I look at her—she’s obviously uncomfortable in this situation.
“Why don’t you go hang out with my dad, babe? Give my mom and me a few minutes alone.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.” I nod. “I’m fine, babe. I’ll be in there shortly.”
Ma and I both sit in silence, waiting for her to be out of earshot before continuing the conversation.
“You see? You’re already moving on. I’ve never heard anyone call you Charlie and you look at her with such love in your eyes,” Ma declares.
“That’s because she’s the only one who didn’t use it with disdain.”
“You know we didn’t say your first name with distaste, Reed. You were the one who didn’t want to go by Charles or Charlie when you came to us.”
“I know, Ma. But she doesn’t know all of the shitty details that went along with that name. You guys did, and I didn’t want it to affect how you saw me,” I say, slightly ashamed that I would think so lowly of my parents.
“Listen.” Ma moves from her seat to the one Tegan vacated. “Your dad and I love you. As far as we’re concerned, you and Tanner both are our boys. You two will always be my babies. I may not have gotten to carry you in my stomach or rock you to sleep each night, and Lord knows you didn’t have the best childhood before you were brought to us, but you made it to us. You finally got where you were supposed to be. Here.” Her eyes are welled up with tears.
I’m fighting them back as well.
“We support you with any decision you make, but I’d be willing to bet that you’re in love with that girl in my living room.” I nod my head. “Then give her all of you, Reed. Your birth mother doesn’t deserve to hold onto any part of you anymore. Go forgive her for her mistakes and move on completely with your life. That girl in there will hold your hand through it all.”
“I’m afraid, Ma. She caused so much pain for the first part of my life. What if going to see her just stirs it all up again?”
“It won’t, sweetie,” She runs her hand through my short hair. “You’re stronger than her now. You aren’t the timid, little boy she used to ignore or verbally abuse. It’s time you stood up and showed her the man yo
u’ve become all on your own.”
She lets me think for a moment before she continues.
“You know why I always cared for Carmen?”
Her name being spoken sounds so odd against my ears. I shake my head no.
It has always been a little odd to me that my adoptive mother refused to let me hate the woman who gave me up.
“You don’t know this, but I found her after the adoption was finalized. You were a ward of the state so it wasn’t technically a ‘closed adoption.’ Anyway, I found her and went to her house.”
The idea of my mom being in the nasty home I spent the first part of my life in makes me queasy. The Reeds knew my past. I’m sure they could assume how my previous home life was, but that’s something I never wanted them to be subjected to. I was always scared it would change the way they saw me. Apparently, I was wrong.
“She was nice enough. I wanted her to know that her son was taken care of, I felt that even a bad or misguided mother would want to know their children are okay. She was actually pregnant when we met.”
My mind begins racing.
What happened to the baby?
Did she keep it or give it up?
“Well?”
“You were twelve when I met her for the first time and she was pregnant...”
She had the baby when I was around thirteen.
“Okay?”
“How old were you when we adopted Tanner? Do you remember?”
Mentally I calculate the age difference. Tanner is fifteen, I’m twenty-eight.
“Thirteen… Where are you going with this, Ma?”
“Do the math, Reed. You were thirteen when we adopted a newborn baby.”
Holy shit.
“Tanner? She was pregnant with Tanner when you met with her?”
My mom simply nods her head.
“What the fuck? Tanner is my half-brother?”
“Yes. Carmen is the reason we have both of you boys. I don’t agree with any of her decisions, but she knew by the time she was pregnant with Tanner that she needed to give him up a lot sooner than she did you. I volunteered.”
“Does Tanner know?”
“No. I figure we’ll tell him if he ever asks about his birth mother. He’s not nearly as curious as you are, though. He has no recollection of her, where you do.”