by Jen Minkman
Colin and I sneak out and quickly cross the lawn, running toward our tents. We are well on our way when all of a sudden, Ben appears out of nowhere and stops us.
“Where were you?” he demands, his index finger jabbing forward and almost grazing my breast.
I stagger back. “I was with Mara,” I improvise. I can’t very well say I was with Ami, because he and Saul have checked her hut twice.
Ben’s eyes narrow. “She said she was alone in her tent.”
“Well, I was there.” I look at him fiercely. If only my glare is angry enough, he just might believe me.
“Why were you there?” Ben continues his interrogation.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” I retort. “Mara is my best friend.”
His lips quirk up in a humorless smile. “Yeah, right. And why exactly would she be…” He stops mid-sentence. His eyes look at me like he’s seeing me for the first time. “Hiding you,” he finishes in a monotone. A dim realization grows in his eyes – I don’t have a clue what he suddenly thinks he’s discovered, though.
His face contorts into a grimace. “Ah, so you’re one of those girls,” he says with disdain. “But I never thought Mara… oh well, at least that explains…”
I almost burst into laughter when I understand what Ben’s thinking. That I was hiding in Mara’s tent out of shame for being with her like that. That Mara and I are lovers. That she doesn’t want him because he’s a man and she’s not into them. Never have I encountered bigger delusions of grandeur in a person. Ben just can’t accept the fact that he is being turned down because of him.
“You think it’s funny?” he growls. Ben has an uncanny talent for spotting my almost-smiles.
“Yes, kind of,” I reply. “You don’t, then?”
I’m not even waiting for his response. Without another word, I pass him and pull Colin along. With a little luck, Ben will be so pissed at me now that he is not even wondering why I came from the opposite side of the field, not from the area where Mara has pitched her tent.
It’s not until I’ve said goodbye to Colin and stepped into my tent that a sad feeling hits me. I’m unfeminine. Maybe that’s why no one has ever taken an interest in me like that. That’s why Andy is dating Mara. Apparently, I’m an anomaly.
Do I like girls?
I don’t believe that. Once I’m lying on my mat in the dark, staring up at the canvas, I see Walt’s strangely illuminated face in front of me, and I feel his hand on mine. Even though, admittedly, I found him both annoying and interesting.
The Book is not the only reason I’m looking forward to meeting him again tomorrow.
-9-
“SO YOU were the reason for all the commotion last night.” Mara looks at me almost reverently. “Saul was completely cracking up, and now I get why. He lost The Book. Well, serves him right, after what he’s done to Andy.”
This morning, Saul had still been anything but calm. He’d gathered all the strong, older boys to help him search the camp and the grounds around the manor house – his minions, as Colin always snidely calls them. The buff boys who lack the strength or intelligence to seize power themselves and blindly follow the leader who’ll give them a sense of importance.
Mara bumped into me on her way to the kitchen this morning, and now we’re sitting under the old oak in front of the house, having breakfast and whispering softly to each other. I’ve filled her in on a lot of things already – my discovery of the man in the manor’s cellar, The Book, my grandmother’s letter – but I haven’t told her about the most important thing yet. Or anyone else, for that matter.
“I have to tell you something big,” I hiss, cautiously looking around one more time before I say the words. “You see, I didn’t hide The Book at the Wall. I ran into a Fool in the forest. He was our age. And he took it with him; he promised to keep it safe for me. It’s in his village now, where Saul will never be able to find it.”
Mara nearly chokes on her smoked-fish sandwich, staring at me wide-eyed. “You what? Seriously? What did he look like? Was he scary?”
“Well, uhm,” I start out, pondering her question and staring ahead. I have to concentrate to remember his face and determine whether my best friend would think it was a scary face. I know I don’t think so. His brown eyes looked gentle in that strange light he was carrying with him, and there’d been a dimple in his cheek when he smiled. He had light-blonde hair. No one on our side of the Wall has hair that light. He definitely looked nice, albeit a bit arrogant.
“Ahem,” Mara coughs, looking sideways with a wide grin on her face. “Are you going to answer that, or are you just going to sit there daydreaming Foolishly?”
“I wasn’t,” I protest. “I was just thinking.”
“Yes, right. With googly eyes like that? I don’t think so, madam.” Mara pokes me in the side. “So, are you gonna share him with me? Can I see him too?”
I can’t bite back my smile. “Sure you can. He looks very different from the boys around here.” Before I’ll be caught starry-eyed again, I jump up. “It might be a good idea to go together, actually. We’ll grab some baskets from the kitchen and tell everyone we’re gathering roots and leaves today. Which we are, by the way. We won’t meet up with Walt until noon.”
“Walt,” Mara repeats after me. “Sounds good.”
His name or my plan? I don’t bother asking, but get up and make my way to the kitchen to get two big baskets from the cupboard.
When I get back outside, Ben and Saul are watching Mara, standing a few yards away. She’s turned away from them and is seemingly undisturbed, eating the last few bites of her sandwich. Smart girl. This way, they won’t be able to see her hands shake.
“There you are,” she exclaims in relief when she sees me approach, jumping up from under the tree quickly.
“Where do you think you girls are going?” Saul inquires gruffly, his dark-brown eyes boring into mine from between his black, greasy fringe.
“To the forest in the west,” I reply. “To gather food.” I hold up the baskets in explanation.
His frown deepens. “Together?”
Mara turns around and glares at Saul. “So?” she snaps, taking a step toward me and reaches for my hand.
“Well, off we go,” I say, smiling triumphantly when I catch Ben looking at our intertwined fingers as if he’s about to chop off our hands. Before he can do anything – such as offering his ‘protection’ and tagging along – we walk down the hill toward the gate together. I look back one more time and beam at Ben before sliding my arm around Mara’s shoulders. That’ll teach him for harassing her.
“Wow, aren’t you all cuddly today,” Mara giggles. “Practicing for your encounter with Walt this afternoon?”
I sigh. “Knock it off. It’s strictly business. He has something I need.”
“Uh-huh, I bet he does,” Mara chuckles, diving away from the punch I’m trying to land on her back. My best friend has been giddy ever since she admitted to liking Andy. It’s getting tiresome.
“No, actually. I layered on the love to needle Ben.”
“Ben? How so?”
I quickly debrief Mara about Ben’s misguided ‘lesbian-lovers’ assumption. Mara’s eyes sparkle when I tell her the whole story. “Awesome! What a joke. We have to keep up the charade, you know – being all over each other in front of the others, so Ben will finally leave me alone. Although I’ll have to tell Andy what’s really going on then.”
“Uh-huh. You and Andy.” I raise an eyebrow. “So, what’s up with that?”
She blushes. “Well, nothing’s up. Things are going fine. He wants to go on another date. But if Colin is planning a rebellion with him, Andy will probably be occupied with other things.”
“If it feels right, don’t question it,” I say with a smile.
Slowly, we’re making our way through the forest, collecting wild plants and edible roots. It’s a good thing Saul’s ‘army’ already passed through this morning, or we would have tripped over one of his lackeys in sear
ch of The Book at every step.
Some of the blackberries are already ripe, and we pick some to quench our thirst and curb our appetite. I can hear birds scrambling around in the low shrubs, but we leave them alone, because we haven’t brought our bows and arrows. Archery isn’t my greatest talent anyway – I usually leave that to Colin. I like fishing better, and I’m good at it, too. On a good day, I can even catch fish from the river with my bare hands. We have a river running through the valley that comes from the top of one of the mountains on the island.
Two years ago, I was sitting at the summit of that mountain, catching my breath from the steep climb, when I saw a Fool’s ship sailing in the distance. Strangely enough, I couldn’t make out any sign of life on the western part of the island. Just endless trees. For a minute, I thought I saw a plume of smoke trailing up toward the sky, but for all I know it could have been my imagination. Now, I’m starting to think I was actually right about seeing that smoke.
The Fools are a part of our world, and it’s time we open up to it.
***
When the sun is nearing its highest point in the sky, a nervous flutter starts in my stomach. Mara and I are carrying our overflowing baskets to the spot where I talked to Walt last night. I have no trouble finding my way back – I know the trails of the forest by heart after countless hikes into the wild at Saul’s command – but I’m not so sure about Walt. Will he be able to make his way back here? Or was our encounter the previous night the last I’ll see of him?
Walt is here. He’s wearing dark-green clothes serving as camouflage among the bushes he was hiding in. I almost didn’t see him. Almost, because his light-blonde hair is clearly visible. In his hands, he’s holding a green beanie hat which he apparently took off so his head would stand out. Or maybe taking off your hat is a Foolish custom and he’s trying to be polite.
“Leia,” he calls out quietly, getting up from his squatting position and glancing sideways at Mara curiously.
“This is my best friend,” I quickly explain. “She’s okay. She knows you have The Book.”
“I understand why you wanted to keep him all to yourself,” Mara mumbles under her breath.
I ignore the flush creeping into my face and walk up to Walt. In broad daylight, his skin still looks pale, but his light-blonde hair looks shiny and more vibrant in the sun. His hair is shot through with darker strands of a color that reminds me of the golden pendant worn by the Eldest’s wife on special occasions. Walt is almost as tall and broad as Andy. His eyes look at everything around him with boundless curiosity, including me. I suddenly feel shy under his inquisitive gaze.
“Did you bring it?” I ask.
Walt pats the brown leather bag slung over his shoulder. “Of course. And I brought some news, too.”
He pulls The Book from his bag and shows us the front cover, tapping the first Luke and Leia with his index finger. “Tony knows them. Your ancestors.”
My mouth falls open. “He does?”
Walt nods seriously. “He wants to talk to you. Explain things. Don’t ask me what he meant by that, but I think it’s important you gather a few friends you trust and come to us in Hope Harbor. You think you can do that?”
“Well, I guess we don’t have a choice,” I reply grumpily. All of a sudden, I can’t stand Walt seeming so savvy next to me. I feel like a right lemon.
“I’d love to,” Mara supplies. Knowledge-hungry Mara, who always wanted to know what’s on the other side of the Wall anyway.
“But we have to solve the problems on our side of the Wall first,” I point out. “Force our leader out. Free Henry. Consult with the parents.”
“The parents?” Walt asks in a tone suggesting he’s never heard of parents before.
“Uhm, yeah. They live in Newexter. They might want to help us getting rid of Saul, even though I told my mother it wasn’t necessary.” I sigh and pause for a moment. “Actually, I wouldn’t mind if they stepped in. We sure need the help.”
Walt blinks confusedly. “So… you don’t live with your parents?”
I frown. “No. Of course not.”
“How old are you girls then?”
“Mara’s fifteen and I’m sixteen.”
“Huh.” Walt shrugs non-committally and hands me The Book. “I had no idea it was that bad.”
“Bad?” I glare at him.
Walt’s eyebrow quirks up. “Yes. Don’t you think it’s bad?”
Suddenly, my grandmother’s words pop into my mind. “So you do live with the parents?” I ask hesitantly.
A mother’s love never fades.
Parents and children don’t separate.
That’s how she described it – the situation on the other side.
“Yes. We do,” Walt answers softly. He seems to realize his remarks puzzle me, and thankfully he doesn’t pursue the subject.
We sit down in the grass, the three of us. Mara and Walt are flanking me on either side, and The Book is in my lap.
“So I’ve read the first couple pages,” I say. “There was nothing important in them. At least, nothing we can use right now.”
I turn the pages, while Mara leans on my shoulder and looks at The Book. Walt’s warm shoulder presses into my arm on the other side when he bends forward to have a peek as well. Does he have to sit this close?
“Look, here’s something about leadership,” Mara pipes up, pointing at a drawing of Dark Father accompanied by a long text. I hold up The Book and look more closely, my eyes taking in every word.
“Luke’s father crossed over to the Dark Side,” I read out slowly. “He no longer had access to the Force, because he only thought of himself. He abandoned his children, while trying to accrue all power for himself. He became a bad leader because he used his Force to suppress and manipulate people. They lost their Light when it was within arm’s reach. For collaboration makes us the strongest, and no leader is needed to work together.” The word ‘collaboration’ is underlined thickly.
Have I ever. Saul sounds like the spitting image of Dark Father.
“That’s it,” Mara whispers excitedly. “This is the page Andy was talking about. This is what he read. And now we have proof.”
I still can’t quite believe it. All these years we’ve been living a lie, and suddenly I feel like a blind Fool for never doubting the things Saul taught us. The truth we thought we knew doesn’t make sense.
“We’re not that different after all,” Walt speaks up. “We also strongly believe in collaboration. But we don’t know that Dark guy, Luke’s father. Our leader is the Bookkeeper. He’s a descendant of the very first Bookkeeper on the island.”
“Do your people have a Book, too?” Mara wants to know.
Walt laughs a little boastfully. “Oh, we have more than just one. They are a bit like this book, but the words look neater. Very precise. Full of information about the World across the Waters.”
The knuckles of my hands gripping The Book turn white, and I can hear my friend inhale sharply. I wouldn’t be surprised if she decided to flee to Hope Harbor with Walt right this instant. He couldn’t have made Mara more curious.
“There really is proof?” I say quietly. “Of the other side?”
“The Books tell us about it,” Walt shrugs. “If that’s proof enough for you.”
“Do they say anything about us?”
“They say the Unbelievers have turned away from us because they don’t believe in the World across the Waters. Or at least they don’t believe anyone from that world will come for us. They want to determine their own fate and be on their own.”
“So we once were together? The Fools and the Unbelievers?”
Walt nods curtly. “Once upon a time.” He makes it sound like a fairytale, but I’m starting to believe it’s all true.
Undecidedly, I look at the page with the proof we were looking for. “What should we do?” I wonder aloud, searching Mara’s eyes. “Should we take the entire Book or just the one page?”
Mara worries her lip.
“I don’t know. It feels wrong to damage The Book.”
“Seems like a bad idea to tear out the page if you want to use it as some proof in a trial,” Walt adds. “How else would your people know for sure it’s actually from your book?”
Oh, right. I’d forgotten all about Walt being an intolerable smartass. “You’re right. We must take the Book back with us,” I conclude with a withering look aimed at the know-it-all Fool’s boy.
“Here’s to hoping no one will subject us to a full body search,” Mara mumbles.
“Okay. Sounds like you two have a plan. A dangerous plan, but a plan nonetheless.” Walt looks at me. “Will you be careful?” he adds a bit anxiously.
I nod slowly, confused by his sudden worry.
“Will you come to Hope Harbor soon?”
I nod again. “When will you have time for us?”
“For you, always.” He smiles broadly. “I’m the Bookkeeper’s nephew, so everyone knows me. Just ask for Walt.”
I try not to roll my eyes. A Famous Fool – just my luck. “I will.”
“And, Leia?”
“Yes?”
“Try bringing a smile next time, okay?” He grins at me teasingly, and I turn red.
“Come on, Mara, let’s go,” I say, ignoring his comment. His strange accent still sings around in my ears when I walk down the trail with my best friend, a basket of plants in my arms and The Book tucked away in my underwear.
-10-
ONCE WE’VE crossed the manor grounds littered with tents and huts, we spot Andy standing by the oak in front of the house. He beckons us, putting a finger to his battered lips when he pulls us inside one of the huts. It belongs to Pete and Tim, but they’re over at the northern beach catching fish.
“What have you two told Ben this morning?” he asks tensely.
“Nothing,” Mara replies with a grin. “We kindly told him goodbye before trotting off into the woods holding hands.”