by Kiley Reid
“Do it. I’m serious,” Emira promised. In the mirror she reached into the neck of her dress to hoist and center her breasts. “Just stay with me and when I tell you, I need you to start wildin’ out. But girl, wait . . . ohmygod? I have benefits now?” Emira broke a smile. As Zara and Emira quietly jumped up and down, Emira suddenly realized that there would be a day, probably quite soon, when Briar would no longer remember her.
Twenty-five
That morning, Laney had been the first to arrive at the Chamberlain house. She was also the first person Alix directed her question to: “Did I do the right thing?”
With a face full of makeup at seven a.m., Laney took both of Alix’s hands. “Honey,” she said. “Listen to me. When I was a junior in high school, a soccer coach of mine got a bit too close to our center fielder, and performed in our locker room what I now know as second base. I knew it was wrong. Everyone on my team knew it was wrong. But this girl, Mona . . . Monica? Monica. Well, she said to keep quiet. And at the time, none of us knew what to do, so we didn’t do anything. But I bet you that if Monica were here right now, she would wish that we had. Do you know what I’m sayin’, Alix?”
Alix pressed her lips together and nodded. She tried to release her fingers from Laney’s as she said, “Yeah. Totally.”
Alix would wait to receive a better confirmation from Tamra. In the meantime, she tried to be thankful for Laney’s discreet savvyness. Three days prior, Laney had quickly and successfully delivered the grocery store video into the wrong hands, and then swooped back in to land the first interview. “Everybody wins with this,” Laney promised her. “Emira gets to clear her name. Peter’s little mix-up will be smoothed over. And you’ll get to come back into the spotlight a bit. And don’t worry, I know exactly how to plug your book without plugging your book. You know what I mean.”
And this was the moment when Alix realized that she’d have to live in Philadelphia both in the flesh and on the Internet. But really, it was about time. Alix had accepted the position at the New School; Emira had accepted her role as a full-time nanny; her editor, Maura, had accepted Alix’s apology and the thirty pages she’d scrounged together over the weekend; and now it was time for Alix to accept that she no longer lived in Manhattan. Alix had somehow walked out of this Kelley Copeland mess unscathed, and her upcoming Philadelphia confession seemed to serve as a secret penance. As Emira and Zara finally emerged from the upstairs bathroom, Emira looking charming and nervous in a way Alix hadn’t seen before, Alix felt prepared not only to represent the city of Philadelphia, but to let Emira represent her too.
As they walked, Zara and Emira swapped a precious exchange before Emira came into the living room and into the light. Laney said, “Let’s have a look.” Briar—in a dark purple wing-collared dress—pointed at Zara and told Emira, “That’s your friend.” Tamra squeezed Briar’s hand and said, “That is Mira’s friend. It’s almost time for you to sit with them, okay?” Emira grinned at Briar and said, “Hey, big girl.”
There were two cameramen and a sound guy set up in the center of the room. The television, an armchair, and two bins of children’s toys were lined up along the wall behind them. Laney was at the helm. She circled the room as she double-checked all angles, numbers, and light sources. She showed no qualms with telling her team, “Nope, not good enough,” and watching while they tried again. Alix felt naïve to see that Laney wasn’t just a talking head on television but the executive producer of this upcoming segment that would be broadcast live on WNFT Morning News. In a bright green blouse that tied at the side of her neck, Laney stood in front of Alix and Emira and took them in. “Let’s get Miss Briar in here too?” Laney called. With Catherine babbling in one arm, Tamra delivered Briar’s hand to Alix. “Mama?” Briar pointed to one of the cameramen. “I want—I want . . . that man has glasses.”
“So Emira, let’s add the cream-colored cardigan on top, I think that’ll look really nice,” Laney said. “And Alix, let’s get a little more powder right here on you. Just a tiny bit.” Laney pointed with her pinkies to the space on the inside of her own eyelids.
Tamra called, “Got it,” and went to receive a square of foundation. When Zara realized that the cardigan retrieval was in her purview, she mouthed, Oh, das me, okay, and jogged to retrieve it from the front vestibule. She tiptoed into the camera light and handed her friend the knitted sweater before backing out and leaning against the living room door frame.
Once Alix and Emira made the corrections, Laney told them to take a seat on the couch. Alix’s house suddenly seemed like one large prop, and she wished she could go back and add Philadelphia-purchased touches that could make her feel more connected to the space. But now that Emira would be spending so much time here, Alix would have another reason to make it feel like home. Alix sat next to Emira on the couch as Laney straightened Briar’s dress across Emira’s knees. Briar pointed up at Emira and said, “You got sparklers on you face.”
“Okay, ladies. Great.” Laney sat in her own chair across from Emira’s end of the couch. “So it’s just like we talked about. Keep your answers to one or two sentences long. Legs shut, eyes open. And don’t be afraid to take your time. We’ve got a whole four minutes, okay? Bri, sweetie? Look up at me.” Laney snapped her fingers twice in the air, and Briar looked at her as if she’d shouted this information. “So you gotta stay with Emira and be the big sister today, yes?” Laney nodded four times and answered the question for herself. “Yes, ma’am. Big sister. Garret, gimme an ETA?”
One of the cameramen took his face away from the equipment to adjust his headpiece and say, “We’re on in two minutes.” Alix reached over and squeezed the top of Emira’s hand, grazing the sides of her daughter’s knee. This was a first for her too. She’d never been on the local news. Much like Thanksgiving, Alix foresaw this four-minute segment as a moment that would unite her and Emira in a way that neither of them could ever take back. Alix felt woozy off how pretty Emira looked, how graciously she’d accepted Alix’s advice all weekend, and how she was now in her home without being paid. Alix adjusted her posture one last time as Laney led the women in a silent group breath. “Just stay with me,” Laney whispered, and smiled. “You’re gonna hear Misty and Peter first and then I’ll lead you in.”
From the little black speaker balanced next to the sound man’s feet, Alix heard a buzz and then the familiar sound of WNFT’s theme music. The sound guy bent to turn up the volume and stood once again with the boom outstretched over their heads.
“Welcome back to WNFT. You’re probably wondering where Laney is right now,” Misty said, “and that leads us to our main story. It’s not often that a segment hits this close to home, but this one is currently taking place inside Peter’s home!” There was a pause, and while Alix couldn’t see her husband, she imagined he was doing a sheepish but charming what are ya gonna do face while admitting guilt with a raised hand. Misty went on as Alix curved her tongue around her front teeth one last time. “This weekend, a video went viral which showed twenty-five-year-old Temple graduate Emira Tucker being accused of kidnapping by a security guard at Market Depot. Emira was not committing a crime—rather, she was babysitting. And Peter, I’ll pass it on to you because you know Emira and the child in question quite well.”
“That’s correct.” Peter let out a small laugh. “I’ll let Emira speak for herself, as she can shed much more light on the situation than I can, but I would like to say this . . .”
At this moment, Briar looked up at Emira and said, “That’s Dada.” Emira nodded with a finger to her lips and whispered, “Shh.” Briar put her own finger to her lips, looked at Alix, and with the same volume as before, she whispered, “I hear Dada.”
“Before anything else, I’m a father,” Peter confessed from the WNFT stage. Alix stared at her shoes as his voice came through the speaker. “My wife and I hired Emira last summer to watch over our children, and she’s been with us ever since. We try to k
eep our girls out of the spotlight as much as possible, but on the night of September 19, that wasn’t so easy. It’s been a strange couple of days and my wife and I appreciate all the incoming support for our family, Emira included. Today, my wife, my oldest daughter, and our babysitter, Emira, are going to answer some questions about that night, and hopefully put the matter to bed.”
“On September 19, a rock was thrown through the front window of the Chamberlain house.” This was Laney’s voice, prerecorded. When Laney heard the sound, she perked up in her seat and looked to Alix and Emira to mouth, Here we go. Alix couldn’t remember if Emira knew if it was a rock or an egg, but Laney had assured her that a rock would read better and amplify a heightened sense of desperation from Peter and Alix, an obvious reason to reach out to a sitter. All this time later, it seemed almost silly that Alix’s biggest concern for months was whether or not Emira knew why said rock/egg was thrown. But Alix told herself that it didn’t matter, and to take a deep breath. In four minutes, she exhaled, this will all be over. Laney’s recording went on.
“Peter and Alix Chamberlain quickly called Emira Tucker, their part-time babysitter, to take their toddler out of the house while they called the police, but Emira ran into a situation of her own. A Market Depot customer and security guard accused her of kidnapping three-year-old Briar, and refused to let her leave the store.” The sound of Emira’s voice radiated into the room through a small speaker, and Alix felt the sofa shift. Emira’s entire body rose half an inch. Alix had seen the video enough times to know that while Emira said, “What crime is being committed right now? I’m working,” she could be seen placing a hand to the side of Briar’s head. Alix listened to the video skip to the part at the end where Peter jogged down an adjacent aisle and placed his hand on Emira’s shoulder. She could tell that they had raised the volume on Peter’s voice so that it could be properly heard by people other than the regular viewers. “Our correspondent Peter Chamberlain,” Laney went on, “was called to the scene to set the record straight. Today we’re sitting down with Emira Tucker, Alix Chamberlain, and the oldest Chamberlain daughter, Briar.”
As Alix heard her own name, one of the cameramen looked up with bright eyes and began to dramatically count down from five with his right hand. Alix’s pulse went into her ears, and her toes seemed to numb as she watched him go from three, to two, and then point directly at Laney.
“Alix, Emira, thank you for sitting down with us.”
Emira nodded and Alix said, “Absolutely.” Her voice came out a bit too eager. She sounded as if she were being interviewed for a job and not by the news. And so she tried to silently sit deeper and find her normal register. Briar, still hung up on the cameraman’s sudden countdown, raised both her hands in the air and announced with an air of defensiveness, “I can count too.”
“And thank you, Briar,” Laney said. She gave a kind kids-say-the-darnedest-things expression, and then got right back to business. “Alix, let’s start with you. Could you have ever foreseen this happening when you called Emira late that night?”
“Ohmygosh, not at all.” Alix felt herself start to breathe. Laney was smooth and curious in a way that implied the four of them had never met, much less rehearsed. Her conviction made the room seem less staged, their words much less studied. “We were very new to the city and it seemed like a no-brainer to call Emira to see if she could help out. I think other parents can understand that life gets messy sometimes, and that the grocery store is typically an excellent place to kill time with a toddler.”
“So, Emira.” Laney turned thoughtful and grave. “You and Briar are at Market Depot. What happens next?”
Unprompted, Briar sadly put her hands to her cheeks and said, “What happen?” Alix smiled and smoothed Briar’s hair down her back.
“Well . . . we were walking around and about to go look in the nut section . . .” Emira said this more to Briar than to Laney. “And then a security guard asked if she was my child.”
As if Emira had just recited an ancient proverb, Laney put her elbow to her knee. She squinted, cocked her chin, and intoned, “Hmm.”
“I told him that I was her babysitter, but he said that I didn’t look like I’d been babysitting, and then he refused to let me leave.”
“I think it’s important to point out that Emira had been attending a birthday party, which she left to come and help us out.” Alix transferred her hand from her daughter’s back to Emira’s shoulder. This remark had not been practiced, but the gesture came to her so naturally that she didn’t want to stifle it. “And since it also seems to be a source of confusion, this video was taken way back in September. Emira was dressed very appropriately for the evening she planned on having.”
“So I take it that this wasn’t your typical babysitting outfit,” Laney responded with a small laugh.
“Oh, yeah no,” Emira said. She grinned at both Laney and Alix as she added, “I usually have, like, a babysitting uniform.”
Alix inhaled quick and doubly. She looked into Laney’s green eyes to ground her in the space, and she told herself, Calm down. She means that figuratively. She means jeans or leggings. Alix tightened her ankles against each other. She chose you. Emira and Kelley are no longer together. Stay with it, Alix. You’re almost there.
“So this interrogation begins, they refuse to let you leave.” Laney recounted the night’s events. “What’s going through your mind?”
Alix turned her head to face Emira straight on as Emira tried to find her words. She had already touched her once; she couldn’t do it again. But she tried to give her space and positivity, thinking, Come on Mira, you can do this. Emira picked up Briar from under her armpits and readjusted her on her lap.
“Ummm, I felt pretty confused and upset?” Emira upspoke. “We weren’t being loud or anything, so it was weird that they came over. And then I was just really afraid that they would take her away from me.”
From Tamra’s arms, Catherine let out a very cute yawn that was slightly audible. Tamra tiptoed over to where Zara leaned against the living room entrance in case the yawning continued and she needed to relocate. As Emira finished speaking, Briar looked at one of the cameramen and said, “I’m not a baby, okay?”
“Looking back on the accusations placed against you . . .” Laney said to regain the room, “Emira, do you feel that justice needs to be served in terminating the security guard’s position?”
This was not a question they had rehearsed. Was that purposeful on Laney’s end? Alix couldn’t tell. She held her breath as she watched Emira secretly react to the surprise, recover, and deliver.
“Oh. No no.” Emira shook her head casually as if she were refusing dessert after a large meal. “I was pretty upset, but now I’m more mad that this video got out without my permission. I didn’t want that at all, and . . . umm, whoever released it obviously doesn’t really care about consent. And I think that is . . . a pretty sad thing.”
Alix’s closed-mouthed and listening smile became taut and tired against her face. There’s no way, she thought. There’s no way that anyone could know. But even more important than this video and the way in which it found its way to the Internet was the fact that even if Kelley hadn’t betrayed Emira’s trust by now, it would only be a matter of time. Briar touched her toes and looked up at Emira. With a piqued interest she asked, “Somebody crying?”
“And Alix.” Laney turned. Her voice had a slightly joyful lilt in it and Alix could tell she was preparing to conclude. “You’re no stranger to women sticking up for themselves. Coincidentally, you’ve made a career out of it!”
“I have.” Alix turned toward Laney as she spoke. Alix realized that this might be the one circumstance where she could freely admit that Emira meant the world to her, and she could say this without a cloud of reticence, or a concern that Emira was on the clock. “Emira embodies much of the spirit in my business LetHer Speak,” she said. “Not only did sh
e stick up for herself, but she listens to herself, and this is exactly the kind of person Peter and I want around our girls, especially at this important time of their lives.”
“And I hear that Emira will be around a lot more often in the New Year?” Laney looked for confirmation from both Emira and Alix. “As you continue to write your first book?”
Alix chuckled. So Laney’s plug wasn’t as subtle as Alix had hoped for, but it made her feel more like a small-business owner than she had in months. “That’s right,” Alix said. “As I finish my book and go back to work, Emira will be joining us full-time. And honestly . . .” Alix looked at her daughter and said, “We couldn’t be happier.” Out of the corner of her eye, Alix watched Emira bite the side of her cheek.
“And lastly, Emira.” Laney sighed. “Is there anything you’d like to add? Do you have any advice for other caretakers who might run into a similar situation?”
Emira’s rehearsed answer included phrases such as, to stick up for themselves, to hold their ground, and to always have their phones charged no matter what. But when Emira began to nod very slowly and say, “Ummm, so the thing is . . .” Alix couldn’t figure out how she planned on transitioning into a closing line.
“Well . . . no. I don’t really have any advice because umm . . .” Emira exhaled upward and several strands of her bangs fluttered in her breath. “I will actually not be joining the Chamberlains full-time? Or like . . . at all.”
Alix straightened her posture and inhaled through her nose. Her first thought was, Oh no. She’s confused.
With sweet and encouraging eyes, Laney said, “Can you say more on that, Emira? Is there anything you’ve gathered from this that you’ll bring into your new role?”
“Yeah, ummm.” Emira dropped her head to the side, and this was when Alix recognized the Emira who had been coming to her home for months. The bored tilt in her voice. The cool air of annoyance. Alix’s pulse began to tap her neck harder.