by Kelly, Marie
“Dad, please.”
His eyes landed on mine, and then he laughed in a scary and crazy manner.
“Dad, please?” he taunted. “Look at you begging me—weak! You think I don’t hear you cry at night to go to your mother? Crying to spend the holidays with her like a weak little nigga. I REFUSE TO RAISE A WEAK MAN!”
“Okay! I promise I won’t ask to see my mom again or go there for the holidays. I promise not to cry anymore,” I bargained as I used the sleeve of my coat to wipe the tears and snot off my face while I straightened my back.
At this point, I was willing to agree to anything just to keep my mother alive.
My dad threw his head back and chuckled before his face was straight, hard, and emotionless again when he looked at me.
In one quick motion, he pulled another gun and pointed it at me. Fear flowed through my body, and my legs started to shake.
“Kill her, or I will kill you,” my dad said with the gun pointing at my head.
My eyes fell to the gun he had placed in my hand, and then I looked over at my mother. Thoughts of using the gun on him crossed my mind, but I wondered if I would be quick enough to do that before he could shoot me or my mom first.
“Pharaoh.” My mother’s angelic voice called out to me. “Do it.”
My mouth dropped when she said that, and I shook my head.
“Five,” the devil who was my father said from behind me, and I trembled.
“It’s okay, baby. It’s okay. Do it. I love you,” my mother said with a smile despite the tears flowing down her face.
“Four,” he called out next, and then I heard his gun cock.
The fear was so overwhelming that warm pee trickled down my inner leg—I had wet myself from fear alone.
“Pharaoh, do it, baby. It’s okay, do it. I love you so much, do you hear me?” my mother said, and I couldn’t hold back the tears.
“Momma, I don’t want to!”
“Do it… Three!”
I almost died on the spot when I felt my dad’s gun being pressed against the back of my head.
“Do it, Pharaoh. Baby, please!” my mother screamed at me, and I raised my gun at her.
“Two!”
“Baby, please!”
I stood there with the gun pointed at my mother, which was shaking uncontrollably.
“I’m sorry…” I said.
And then pop!
Seeing myself pull the trigger again pulled me from my thoughts and from the vision of my mother’s body sitting in the chair with a bullet in her head that came from my gun.
Nobody knew what I had done that day except for the nigga who made me do it. Everybody else was told that my mother died in an accident. I allowed them to believe that because I was too ashamed to let them know the truth—to let them know who I really was.
Not even my brothers or my uncle knew. There were many times that I wanted to tell them what really happened to my mother, but after I took her from this earth, leaving me alone, I didn’t want the only other people I had around me to leave me too.
The worst part about it is after I did it, my dad laughed and told me I was going to be great and how he did it for my own good. My own good?
What good was it that from the age of twelve, I walked around with the burden of knowing my mother died because of me? It damaged me, fueled my hate for this world—for my father—and made me the stonehearted killer I am today, which is what he wanted now that I thought about it.
That day, I wanted to turn the gun on my dad too, but there was no way my soul would have been able to survive knowing I had killed both people responsible for my creation—even if he deserved to die too. Especially when years later, the same nigga who was preaching fuck love got married to Clare’s mama, talking about that was then and this was now.
My eyes slowly opened when I felt A’Moya’s soft hand stroke my face. I looked at her, expecting to see disgust for me or something along that line, but I didn’t. I saw compassion and pain for me in her beautiful baby doll eyes.
“You cannot blame yourself for something you had no control over, Pharaoh. You were a child being forced to do something your young mind couldn’t deal with. Your mother loved you, Pharaoh, even until the end. She would have rather died than you,” she said, and I broke down because I wasn’t expecting that.
A’Moya pulled me into her arms and hugged me tight as I cried on her shoulder like I had never cried before. Once my mother took her last breath, my last tear dropped from my eyes. My heart died, and so did all my emotions. I turned into a living brick wall, but right now, in the arms of someone who was too pure for me, I found myself letting it all go.
“You are not a monster, Pharaoh, because if you didn’t have a heart, it wouldn’t haunt you.”
I allowed her words to sink in for a second before I pulled back to look at her.
“What did you say?” I asked her, and she smiled while thumbing my tears away.
“If you didn’t have a heart, it wouldn’t haunt you.”
I never looked at it like that before, but was she right? Was it my heart convicting me or my demons reminding me why I didn’t deserve love?
“It’s not about what you did back then, Pharaoh. It’s about the man you choose to make yourself now. Do you want to be the man your father made or the man your mother died to save?”
That was some deep fucking shit!
“When I look at you, I see Pharaoh, and your mother saw Pharaoh. Who are you?”
Her eyes danced all over my face as she waited for me to respond.
“I’m Pharaoh,” I finally answered, and she nodded with a smile.
Leaning slightly forward, I brushed my lips against hers. When she accepted me, I deepened the kiss as I picked her up in my arms and brought her back over to my bed. Placing her down gently, I pulled the sweater off her body and took one of her nipples into my mouth, making her back lift off my bed.
“Hmmm, Pharaoh.” Her moan sent shivers down my spine, and needing to feel her, I pushed my boxers down and off before sliding inside her.
A’Moya and I both let out a satisfied and euphoric gasp.
I wrapped my arms around her and kissed all over her face as I wound my hips into her. Her arms circled my back, drawing me closer to her. Our labored breaths rang out, and our bodies started to warm up.
My eyes closed as I listened to her voice whimper and pant—my name intermittently leaving her mouth. I grabbed the back of her left thigh and pushed it upward to give myself more room to push even deeper into her. My head rose slightly so that I could look into her beautiful face.
Her eyes were on mine, and I could see the passion she had for me in them. It caused my nut to come a lot quicker than I wanted it to.
“Don’t leave me, A’Moya,” I pleaded to her as my breathing sped up, indicating that I was near the end.
“Never,” she whispered back to me and stroked my face again just as I came.
I dropped my head onto hers and closed my eyes to do something I had never done before.
Lord, please don’t take her away from me… I need her!
Alvaro ‘Wrath’ Ramsey
“Kanada,” I whispered in her ear and then bit the end of it.
“Hmm, no, Alvaro. I’m tired!”
She raised an arm and lazily swatted at me like I was a fly or something, which caused me to laugh.
“We only went three times, Kan.” I jabbed a finger into her side, and she twitched.
“Only three times?” she asked with a scoff and shook her head at me.
All I could do was laugh.
“Let me find out my girl can’t take some dick.” Hearing that made her roll over from her stomach onto her back and look at me. “I see that ass woke up after I said my girl, though.”
I chuckled at the wide smile that she had on her face.
“It just sounded nice when you said it.”
She was right because it did sound really nice, and I smiled.
“Anyway, I can take dick,
thank you. Just not one from a man who runs on batteries! There’s no way you can still go.”
My head fell back as I laughed at her.
“Batteries? You made me sound like a fucking dildo!”
This time, she laughed and then pushed my shoulder.
“You know what I mean! You have too much stamina, Alvaro!”
“And I’m the older one.” I shook my head at her, and she laughed.
I loved sex, I really did, but I didn’t usually last this long. Even I was shocked to see that I wanted to go another round with her or maybe two!
As I lay between her legs and looked down at her, I knew it was because something felt different being with her, and I didn’t want it to end. Maybe it was because of knowing she was mine and not just someone I was fucking, or maybe it was because of how good she felt. All I knew was that I liked the feeling, whatever it was.
Kanada gave me a pretty, lazy smile, and I leaned forward to peck her lips.
“I will let you rest for now.” I winked at her. “And that’s only because I know the kids are gonna be up soon.”
Because, trust, if we didn’t have the kids here, she wouldn’t get no fucking sleep!
She playfully rolled her eyes at me, and asked, “What time is it anyway?
After giving her another peck, I rolled off of her and picked up my pants off the floor to get my cell, so I could see the time. I lifted it and saw a missed call from Surge and a voicemail.
Shit, what happened? Why he left me a message?
The only time my brothers left a voice message was when something bad happened.
Fuck!
“Alvaro?”
Hearing Kanada call my name reminded me that she was waiting for me.
“My fault, baby. It’s three in the morning.”
I looked down at my cell again as all types of shit ran through my head.
“Are you okay?”
Kanada’s hand landed on my shoulder, and I smiled when that familiar calm feeling fell on me. Something that had been happening every time she touched me, or I heard her voice, which let me know that she was the one for me. Only my pops had the power to calm my beastly thoughts and tendencies—not even my brothers could do that once I went black—so the fact that Kanada could was all I needed to know.
Taking her hand, I kissed it a few times and then looked back at her.
“I’m good, baby, thank you. My brother called me, so I’m gonna go see if he’s okay.”
She simply nodded and told me she hoped that everything was okay.
When she got out of bed to use the bathroom, I sat up and played the message from Surge.
“Bro, I fucked up! Dior is the detective’s daughter.”
I almost dropped my fucking cell after hearing that.
“Fuck!” I hissed. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
This shit couldn’t be fucking happening right now.
Surge’s girl was that motherfucker’s daughter?
I was so fucking stuck that I just sat there with wide eyes looking at my cell, not knowing what the fuck to say or do.
It took a second for the shock to shift, and then I sent him a message.
Me: Bro, what the fuck? Tell me that was a joke!
I knew it wasn’t, but I just couldn’t believe it.
In the beginning, I wasn’t so sure about Surge fucking with sis because of how they met and the fact that she had given his picture to the fucking cops—even though it ended up being one on our payroll—but what if it wasn’t?
That was a red flag in my book, but then sis helped my brother, and I couldn’t ignore the fact that she didn’t have to. Once I met her, any doubt left, and now this bullshit.
Kanada came back into the room just as Surge texted me back.
I allowed my eyes to dance over her perfect, naked body before looking down at what he said.
Surge: Nah bro, it’s not! She’s his fucking daughter!
Fuck!
Me: Meet me at the warehouse. Call the other 2.
Surge: Bet.
How the fuck did a good night turn into a fucking nightmare?
Shaking my head, I stood up off the bed and grabbed Kanada over to me.
“I gotta go check on my brother. If I’m not back before she wakes up, can you deal with KeKe for me?”
I kissed her lips again and stroked her hair back.
Ma had been up early for days in preparation for Christmas, so I didn’t want her up early to deal with Keyanna.
“Of course.”
I smiled at her response and slapped her booty hard before letting her go.
We put our clothes back on, and I led her scary ass to my bed. I almost picked her ass up when she told me no. After having to leave her before I wanted to, knowing she was lying naked in my bed had me feeling good.
Once I had a quick shower, I was on my way to meet my brothers, who had hit me up to let me know they were already there. On the ride over, all I kept doing was replaying Surge’s words over and over until I pulled up outside.
As soon as I walked in, my brothers’ faces said it all—shit was bad.
Looking over at Surge—who was damn near sucking on his blunt like it was oxygen—I knew my brother’s head was fucked up. He was on Dior hard as fuck, so I knew that this was a serious blow to him.
His eyes flicked up at me, and from the look in them, I knew what he was about to say when he opened his mouth. I stopped him.
“Don’t even say it. I know already that had you known who she was, you wouldn’t have fucked with her,” I cut him off and said.
He sighed and ran a hand down his face.
“Come on, Wrath, I should have fucking known! Her name is Alfred—just like that motherfucker. But honestly, the shit didn’t even fucking click. We had been calling him detective bitch ass and pussy for so long, I had forgotten his fucking name.”
“Us too, so don’t put this all on you. I was caught sleeping once again.” I rubbed a hand over my mouth.
If it wasn’t one fucking thing, I swear it was another!
“Did she not ever tell you what her pops did?” Guns asked, and Surge looked over at him.
“Nah, man. I never fucking asked! We were getting to know each other so, I would ask her shit about herself or tell her things about me.”
My eyebrow shot up at that comment, and Surge must have sensed it because his eyes cut over to me.
“Not shit like that. Just things about Jashawn, not Surge. Shit, until tonight I don’t think she even fucking knew my name was Surge until her fucking pops called me that!” He snarled, and I nodded.
Surge may have missed the connection between Dior’s last name and that motherfucker, but I knew he wasn’t a pillow talking type of nigga who would talk about our street business like that.
“So, what happened tonight?” I asked just as he took another long pull of his blunt and slowly blew it out.
“The motherfucker told me to get the fuck out. I’m sure he even reached for his gun too.”
“Nigga—”
“I know, Wrath. I know.” Surge cut me off, and I sighed.
“What the fuck do we do now?” Legion asked, and we all stared at each other silently, like we were hoping the answer would just present itself. But we all knew it wasn’t that simple. Even if Surge expressed his understanding, it didn’t make it any easier.
I knew he was on Dior like crazy, but at the same time, we had to do what was best for us—for our family—and the detective being alive wasn’t the best.
“In light of what has happened, we still gotta get that nigga out of the way. I don’t think he’s gonna stop, and to be honest, I think the nigga will go harder now.” I looked at Surge, and he nodded.
If my enemy was fucking my damn daughter, I would go even harder to get that nigga out of the way. And from what my brother said, I knew the nigga was pissed to know that Surge was with Dior.
“We gotta take him out,” I added, and everyone nodded before our eyes landed on Surg
e.
“I will deal with him.”
I didn’t even debate him on that because I knew that it was personal for him now.
“And what about Dior?” Legion asked the one question that I knew was on everybody’s mind.
Surge leaned forward, rubbed both hands over his face, and let out a long breath before sitting back and looking at us.
“She goes too.”
Meshach ‘Guns’ Ramsey
I felt bad for my brother, Surge, but I would rather him than me. My pops was so busy keeping the empire away from me, believing that I would be the fuck up. And here Surge was fucking the enemy’s daughter and not even knowing it while Wrath was too busy getting his ass a new bitch to focus on what the fuck was going on around them.
But, shit, it was all coming together for my benefit.
Once Surge said that he would take care of the detective and his daughter, Wrath discussed some more pointless shit about getting Trojan back for the hit he did, and then we all left.
I jumped in my car and drove away with a fucking smile on my face. For a moment, I was starting to feel bad for setting my brothers up to look incompetent, but it was plain to see that they didn’t even need my fucking help for that.
There’s no way my pops won’t see that Wrath isn’t fit to lead now.
If that didn’t show him, then nothing else would.
Now knowing that all I had to do was sit back and watch my brothers fuck even more shit up, I decided to send Bully a message to tell him to lay low for now.
Me: Ayo I’m putting a pause on things for now. Will meet up soon to discuss but fall back.
He didn’t need any further information from me but that because he worked for me. Since that night his boys tried to kill me and my brothers for real, shit had been running smoothly, but I wasn’t ready to end what we had.
Bully and his crew weren’t fucking cheap either!
Shit, I didn’t even need them anyway!
Wrath was doing a pretty good job of fucking up on his own, so I didn’t even need Bully and his people.
I shook my head and rolled my eyes at the idea. But then I smiled remembering that things would end up my way sooner or later at the rate my brothers were going.