If only things were that easy.
Adam is talking with one of the mechanics. Luckily, this is a full service station with an attendant to pump gas. There’s even a small garage attached for repairs. Adam’s holding a container of coolant, but it’ll most likely be a good hour before he can add it to the steaming radiator. These steep mountain inclines have done a number on the Neon. And it looks like we won’t be able to turn on the air conditioning for the remainder of the trip. I’ll be a hot and sweaty mess by the time I meet his family.
But what’s really bothering me is Kelly. I have no clue what her game is. It’s hard to make heads or tails of the story Adam told me about the night they spent together. They were both drunk, but she didn’t exactly fight off his advances. She knew where they were heading, and they ended up in his bed. It seems hard to believe that she is the innocent victim in all of this. She came with Brian to take care of Adam because he was in a vulnerable state. Brian didn’t want his brother drinking, yet Kelly didn’t take the bottle away from Adam. She encouraged him by joining in.
Adam’s a big boy, and she’s a grown woman. But she should have known better. Why didn’t she put a stop to things before they went too far? Was she into her boyfriend’s little brother all along and that was her chance to seduce him? Obviously she was hoping they’d never get caught. Too bad she turned up pregnant after not sleeping with Brian for months.
Is she going to be my competition when we get there? Is that why Adam wants me in the same room with him in case he has an unexpected visit from her in the middle of the night? Nothing’s worse than being Adam’s sexual stopgap. I wonder how far Kelly’s claws are going to come out once she meets Adam’s new ‘girlfriend.’ I better not let her out of my sight. I’ve never even met the girl, but I don’t like her and I certainly don’t trust her around Adam.
And it doesn’t help that Kelly looks eerily similar to Katie—reddish hair, ivory skin, slight build. She’s exactly his type—his every fantasy come to life. With the image of Katie affixed in his mind, it’s not hard to imagine why he made a move on his brother’s girlfriend. Especially after a few drinks, I bet she started to look really good to him, and he couldn’t resist. He can never have Katie, but he can have her. He can still have her.
Scooting down, I try to keep my face in the shade. I have no idea how I’m going to manage at the beachfront wedding ceremony. I’ll need a parasol or something. I’m not about to ignore my doctor’s warnings about staying out of the sun. If I’m not by Adam’s side while they exchange their vows, oh well. He’ll survive. He’ll probably be looking at Kelly the entire time anyway.
Why didn’t Kelly leave Brian for Adam? That’s what I can’t understand. Does she really love Brian or is there something more in it for her by staying with him? It appears Brian has a better paying job than Adam and lives in a wealthy suburb outside of Philadelphia where there’s certainly a lot more excitement than the small town we live in. Maybe she’s one of these types who wants it all. She can keep her comfy lifestyle and get a little piece of Adam on the side whenever she likes. I don’t think he’d turn the mother of his child down if she came on to him again. Men are weak like that. No matter what happens, he’s always going to have that bond with her.
I bet Adam bringing me to the wedding isn’t even a threat to her. She doesn’t want him exclusively. She knows he sleeps around with other women, and it didn’t bother her before. Why would she care now? She has her place in his rotation, and she’s happy with that. She doesn’t want more from him as long as she has staked her claim.
And are his parents really that blind? I find it hard to believe that they can’t feel the tension brewing between their two sons. And it doesn’t take a genius to put the timeline together for when the trouble began. It all centers on Kelly and Brian’s trip in February to Adam’s apartment. Nothing was the same after that. Kelly turned up pregnant. Brian stopped speaking to Adam, and Adam cut off communication with his parents. Sure, Adam’s issues after Katie’s accident figure in, but they have to discern there’s more to it than that. They live closer to Brian and Kelly and must have noticed the couple was having problems before and after their visit to Adam’s. And then bam—they’re getting married and having a baby. It must have thrown them for a loop. It had to.
And here I come right in the middle of everything. I’m Adam’s buffer in this maelstrom of family drama. Maybe I just should have kept my mouth shut and stayed with Jason. My life would be a lot simpler if I had. The man I love wouldn’t be reuniting with his former flame under the guise of respectability that I’m providing. And that’s what makes me want to scream. Jason remained faithful to me the whole time he was away at college, even when his friends razzed him about it. He was there for me when Gloria died. Sure, he lost it when I broke up with him. But who wouldn’t after all we’d been through? It didn’t help that Adam’s sudden arrival added salt to the wound. Oh God, did I make a terrible mistake by letting Jason go? Am I in so over my head with Adam that I can’t see straight?
I’ve never felt so out of my depth before. Adam’s leading me to places I don’t necessarily want to go. And I’m sick of lying for him and covering his ass when he keeps on making mistakes. I’m just enabling his bad behavior, not correcting it. He’s still drinking. He’s still having casual sex. He’s still using me to make everything okay.
I can’t believe I gave in to him about coming to this wedding. I’m such a fool. Anyone with an ounce of common sense can see that. I’m like putty in his hands. He molds me to fit the situation at hand. I’m the loyal partner who keeps her mouth shut on one end, and I’m the wannabe girlfriend on the other. And then it hits me. The realization is so painful I can’t bear it. My stomach churns and I bend over to steady myself. He knows I’m in love with him. He’s known the entire time, and he doesn’t care. I’m just a puppet to him, nothing more. By doing whatever he wants, he knows I’ll never say no to him.
But what kills me is that he’s never even kissed me. Kelly belonged to his brother, but he took her into his bed. Too bad I don’t look like Katie. That must be the problem. He’s not attracted to me in the slightest. He basically came out and said that his family is going to be shocked that he’s with a black girl. Despite all his mixed signals, I never stood a chance with him. Not ever.
I force back tears as Adam strides toward me. Even after four hours of driving, he still has a jaunt in his step. A girl waiting in a car while her friend buys a pack of cigarettes checks him out as he walks by. He gets this all the time. He’s so used to it. It doesn’t even faze him. He has girls dropping at his feet every minute of the day. Why wouldn’t his brother’s girlfriend want to sleep with him? Why wouldn’t I?
All of my emotions bubble to the surface when he reaches me. I’m hit by an onslaught of conflicting feelings, and it’s too much. I need to get away from him. I’m going to be sick. I fling out my arms and push him firmly out of the way.
“Jada, where are you going…Jada?” He keeps calling my name, but I don’t stop. I rush into the store, startling the clerk behind the counter.
“Restroom?” I manage to ask in a high-pitched squeak.
He points to the back and I scurry away from him. The long-legged blonde buying the cigarettes looks at me like I’m some kind of lunatic. But I’m dripping with a cold sweat as my vision starts to blur. I make it through the door and just about manage to lock it when I collapse to my knees and throw up into the toilet. I made it just in time. Violently, I heave the remains of the hot dog I’d just eaten. My ears are ringing and I feel dizzy. It doesn’t stop for a good five minutes. Someone’s knocking on the door asking if I’m all right, but I ignore whoever it is. My heart’s just been shattered beyond recognition. I’ll never be all right again.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Adam
The waves are pounding against me, and I nearly fall flat on my back. There’s a storm roaring in. I shouldn’t be out here, but I have to find her. I can’t leave her out
here all alone.
The gale force wind has whipped the surf into a frenzy as the rain comes down sideways, stinging my eyes. I’m afraid to go in deeper than my ankles. The sea is too rough. That feeling of unrelenting fear is building inside my chest. Where is she?
I’m knocked off my feet by an incoming swell. I groan as I’m dragged over the rocky bottom. On my hands and knees, I try to stand up but I’m struck again, and this time my entire body is thrown under. I’m literally tossed head over heels before I resurface. The surge has pulled me out farther than I wanted to go, but I still don’t see her.
Lunging with all my might, I use every ounce of strength I possess to swim toward shore. But I’m not making any progress. The storm has me in its grasp, and it’s not letting go. I’m going to drown out here. This is it.
Then, in front of me, a flash of red emerges then disappears. An alabaster arm snakes under the water before it wraps around my waist. I struggle to free myself, but it’s no use. My face remains above the surface so I cease fighting my assailant. I hold my breath as another wave crashes on top of me but somehow I stay afloat. Whatever has me in its grip is towing me to shore.
I feel the smoothness of the sand beneath my feet, but the night is utterly dark. The moon hides behind the massive clouds, and the stars cannot penetrate the blackness. I catch a glimpse of the churning foam, but that is all. I’m blind to everything else around me. My head is filled with the roar of the sea.
The rain is cold and I begin to shiver. Touch is the only sensory element that remains. I gasp as someone blankets my chest with a curtain of wet hair to keep the wind at bay. Hands stroke my face. Lips brush mine. And in my heart, it feels like a goodbye.
My tears mix with the rain on my face. The trace of a tongue carries them away while kissing a path to my ear. Over the heartbeat of the ocean, I faintly discern a voice. But I can’t be certain. I try to sit up but the slender hands hold me in place against the sand. Moving against my jaw line, those lips find mine and everything becomes clear.
“Katie…” I whisper.
She’s found me.
Taking control, I reach for her but she’s not there.
I open my eyes, and I’m buffeted by a mixture of rain and surf. Katie is gone.
“Where are you?” I call out against the wind, desperate for her touch.
She doesn’t answer right away, and when she does, her voice echoes inside my head. “Farewell, Adam.”
“No!” I scream beyond the tumult of the raging ocean. She can’t leave me. She can’t. Not now. Not like this. I can’t survive without her in my dreams.
“Farewell…”
***
I jerk awake and the seatbelt snaps me back into place. The headlights from cars on the other side of the interstate momentarily blind me. I blink to reacclimate myself to my surroundings. Trying to get it together, I look over and see Jada’s silhouette behind the wheel. There’s a jazz station playing softly in the background.
“Another nightmare?” she asks out of the darkness, but there’s no judgment in her voice. She’s genuinely concerned. She knows about whom I dream.
“Yeah,” I manage to get out. Glancing at the clock on the dash, I’m surprised it’s nearly midnight. But that’s what happens when you own a shit car. We must’ve stopped five times since West Virginia to give the engine a rest. Jada offered to drive after the last one, and I took her up on the offer. I just didn’t think I’d fall asleep.
“Adam, there was a sign not too far back listing a motel at the next exit. Would it be all right if we called it a night? I’m pretty beat.” She yawns as if to emphasize the point. I can’t believe we’ve been on the road since six o’clock this morning. It’s definitely time to stop.
“Sounds fine to me. Where the hell are we anyway?” I take this as a good sign since before she was freaking out about having to share a room with me at the timeshare. There’s no way I’m letting her stay by herself tonight. God only knows how rundown this place is going to be and I’m not entrusting her safety to a rusty chain lock on a plywood door. She’s staying with me.
“We’re still in Virginia but pretty close to North Carolina, probably about ninety minutes or so from the Outer Banks. I’m sorry I can’t push on and finish the job but my eyes keep closing.” She never admits defeat so her confession is telling. She wasn’t feeling well earlier today and I don’t want her to push herself. We have a long weekend ahead of us.
“No, that’s fine.” After settling the matter, my thoughts drift back to my dream. Has Katie really left me for good? A trickle of sweat drips down the back of my shirt. This can’t be it. I can’t go on without her. My pulse starts to race and my right foot starts to tap against the floor mat.
Jada exits the highway sensing my distress. The sooner I can get out of the car the better. The dive of a motel is situated next to a twenty-four hour diner. Yep, these accommodations are going to be anything but swanky. Inwardly, I cringe at having to spend the night here, but we don’t have much of a choice.
The vacancy sign is lit, even if the letter ‘y’ is not. Shoving my distaste beneath the surface, I give Jada a weak smile as she parks in front of the motel office. It’s only for one night. I can handle this.
We get out of the Neon and shuffle toward the screen door patched with duct tape. It screeches on its hinges when I hold it open for Jada, and the pockmarked guy behind the counter jumps to attention. In ordinary circumstances, I would have laughed but I’m just too tired.
“We’d like two rooms please.” Jada pushes by me and speaks before I can. Here we go. I’m just about to contradict her when the guy does it for me.
“Sorry, miss. We only have one room left. Is that okay?” He eyes the two of us, trying to figure out what we’re doing here together. I wonder how we must appear standing side by side. On the job, it’s nothing major. We’re partners. People automatically accept that. But in the real world, our presence together is something else entirely.
Jada stiffens for a moment. She does not want me getting up close and personal with her. She’s craving her space. And after nearly twenty hours together in the car, I can’t say that I blame her. But it stings. On some level, she still doesn’t trust me.
“I guess that’ll have to do,” she sighs, backing away from the counter. To ease her ambivalence, I step forward to pay. It’s the least I can do.
The obnoxiously large keychain won’t fit in my pocket so I hold it my hand as I follow Jada out the door. It’s room number twenty-four, all the way down at the end. Sliding down the passenger seat of the Neon, I reach into the back of the coupe for my bag and open the trunk so Jada can get her stuff. Reluctantly, she begins walking to our room. I watch her, trying to psyche myself up for what’s to come.
She already has the door open and the light on when she starts to curse aloud. “Oh shit. This is fucking perfect.”
Jogging to catch up, I reach her side and peer into the room, thinking she may have seen a rat or something. “What’s the matter?”
“There’s only one bed. No couch. No chair. Nothing,” she huffs, pushing past me into the barrenness of the ramshackle suite. The carpet is beyond soiled. There’s no way anyone’s sleeping on the floor tonight. It’s out of the question.
“I promise to keep my hands to myself. I’m too exhausted to make a move on you.” I’m attempting to keep things light but she just glares at me. I can’t tell if she’s nervous or if she really doesn’t want to be around me right now.
And it’s a small bed, not much bigger than a twin. We’re going to be crammed next to each other like two peas in a pod. Forget turning around or stretching out. I’ll be locked into one position all night. So much for getting comfortable. I won’t get a wink of sleep with her right on top of me. I just don’t want to embarrass myself if she bumps up against the arousal I’m sure to have the minute I lie down beside her. How am I going to hide that? We’ll have to sleep back to back. There’s no other way around it.
“M
ind if I take a shower first?” Her eyebrows are arched innocently enough, but just the thought of having her naked again in the next room is doing weird things to my heart. It’s going to take every bit of willpower I have not to join her in there.
“Yeah, sure. Go ahead.” My voice is a little shaky, but hopefully she’ll think it is fatigue and nothing more.
She kicks off her shoes and rustles through her luggage. Leave it to girls to need three bags for a weekend visit. Why do they always need to bring so much stuff with them wherever they go? I catch a glimpse of a pair of pink silk panties as she tosses her pajamas over her arm, and I swallow hard. As soon as she closes the bathroom door, I collapse onto the bed. What have I gotten myself into?
When the stream of water hits the tub, I’m in agony imagining my hands on her glistening body, taking her against the shower wall. What I wouldn’t give to watch her as she lost control. I’m sick of seeing her resist me. I want to hear her beg for more.
The door opens and a blast of steam issues forth. The air conditioning unit is rattling in the corner, but I feel like I’m on fire. She steps out in an oversized t-shirt and a pair of plaid shorts. Her hair falls in damp ringlets around her shoulders. I’m so turned on right now. I have to get out of the room.
Grabbing my entire bag, I shove by her and into the sauna-like bathroom before slamming the door. I can tell she’s annoyed as she says something under her breath, but I need to release what’s building up inside of me. I can’t take much more.
Immediately, I turn on the shower even though I don’t get in. Tearing off my clothes, I stand before the mist-covered mirror as I wrap my fingers around my length. I don’t care that she’s in the next room. I need to jerk myself off. Hopefully, the running water will drown out what I’m doing. I’ll be as quiet as I can. My breathing increases when I see that she forgot her bra. It’s lying on the floor. Its cups are massive and all I can think about is running my thumbs over her nipples before taking them in my mouth. And that’s what pushes me over the edge as I come, gripping the sink while trying to stifle a moan.
Come What May (Heartbeat) Page 17