by T A. McKay
When my breathing returns to normal, I step out of the bath and wrap myself up in a huge soft towel. I don’t put on my robe as my body is still sensitive and I don’t want any friction against it. The last thing I need tonight is to get turned on again, I’m going to go to bed and hopefully have an amazing wine induced sleep. I have the next two days off to enjoy, I plan on cleaning the flat, reading a lot and catching up on my mail, I’m pretty sure I have bills to pay.
Mason
I haven't thought about Niamh once this week, not one single time. It’s been more like a hundred times and it’s driving me insane. The more I say to myself not to think about her the more I can't get her out of my head. I have found myself just standing in the garage staring into space. The only thoughts on my mind are her lips and the feel of her body, this usually leads to a very embarrassing hard on that I can't get rid off until I find somewhere private to take care of the problem. I’ve never had to relieve myself at work before, but this week I’ve changed that, thank god for the private toilet in my office, normally using the main one isn’t an issue, but this problem needs sorted in private. Spending the week with either a hard on or my dick in my hand has been messing with me and my work has suffered so much that even Rocco has noticed. He asked me out for a drink tonight too, in his own words, ‘catch-up’. I know he wants to make sure I’m ok, and for that I love him but I really don’t want to talk about it, not even with him. He has this amazing new relationship with Makenzie and he really should be spending time with her but he wouldn't take no for an answer, so here I am sitting in ‘The Rose’ waiting for him to arrive. I try to work out in my head exactly what I'm going to tell him, because he is never going to believe some lame story if I try to sell it to him. I jump slightly when a hand falls onto my shoulder followed by a laugh.
“You’re really jumpy these days, Mason. Is there some mafia debt I don't know about?” Rocco takes the seat opposite me and he can't hide the amused look on his face. He nods over to Callie who is behind the bar tonight and she smiles at him before getting his usual order ready to bring over to him. I can see her watching him and I wonder if he has ever realised that she likes him, not that it would matter now since he is sickeningly in love with Makenzie.
“Oh, look at Mr. Happy these days. I swear you're not the same guy I knew a few weeks ago. It seems that getting laid agrees with you.” He picks up a peanut from the bowl on the table and throws it at me. I laugh as I duck to the side to avoid it. Callie approaches the table and places Rocco’s beer and another Scotch on the rocks in front of me. I haven't finished this one yet, but I have a feeling I might need this one as well. Even though I know that Callie has feelings for Rocco she tries to cover them by flirting with me. When she hands me my glass she runs her finger across mine, and normally I would be all over the invitation but my mind is so messed up just now I can't even start to respond to her. I smile at her and turn back to Rocco hoping she will see that I'm not interested and not push the subject.
“Well damn, I never thought I would see the day when Mason McIntyre didn't, how is it you put it ... hit it when it's offered.” I know he’s trying to rile me, trying to get some reaction and I just can’t help but bite.
“Fuck you, Rocco. Just because you finally have your head out your arse, don’t give me shit for having an off day.” I know it’s more than an off day, it’s been closer to an off month.
“Wow, someone really is moody just now. So do you want to tell me what has your panties in a bunch?” I’m so out of depth here, it’s normally me that has it all sorted and I'm trying to help Rocco, it hasn't been this way for a long time now. I lean my elbows onto the table and let my head fall into my hands.
“I have no fucking idea what to do, Rocco. I swear my head is so fucked up just now.” I look up at him through my fingers and it pisses me off to see a huge smile on his face.
“It’s been a long time since I seen a girl mess with your head as much as this. Do I know her, I want to shake her hand.” I can't hold in the laugh that escapes from me. He really is a dick, but I can’t blame him after all the grief I gave him about Makenzie.
“I’m glad my pain amuses you. So is Makenzie expecting you home tonight or can I get blind drunk and know you will be there to carry me home?”
“I’m yours as long as you need me. I really want to know what's bugging you, you haven't been yourself for a while now. I know I haven't been there much recently, but I’m here now. So talk to me man.” I still don't know what to tell him. How much do I tell him about Niamh, and how much do I really know about her other than she is as sexy as fuck and drives me crazy.
“I met someone, and she drives me insane. I can't get her out of my head, but I can't get her under me, and well you know that never happens.” Rocco stays quiet allowing me to get everything out with a comment.
“I don’t know what to do. I can’t stop thinking about her but when we see each other, I could honestly throttle the breath out of her. She is bitchy and stuck up but the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. And when we kissed, I swear I have never had a kiss like that. She was just...perfect.” I take a large drink from my Scotch and wait for Rocco to comment.
“I didn't think you would ever fall in love again, Mason. Not after Carina.” I choke on the mouthful of alcohol I have. Love? Who the hell mentioned love?
“No one said love, Rocco. I want this girl, as in I want to have sex with her. Nothing more. Love? Really? Just because you are all loved up just now, don't try and put that shit on me.” I can feel my pulse start to speed up while I try and deny my feelings for Niamh. There is no way in hell I’m in love with her, we can barely be in the same room together.
“You’re protesting too much, Mason. It doesn't make you a bad person to admit your feelings. Falling in love happens to the best of us.” I just look at him like he is from another planet. Who stole my morose, glass half empty best friend and replaced him with Mr. Cheery?
“I want to fuck her, Rocco. That. Is. All.” This is the moment that I know what I need to do. I need to try and put her out of my mind completely, get on with life and forget I met her. I know the only reason she is so stuck in my head is that I haven’t been with her, if I had had her I wouldn't be having this problem. Well, she will just have to be the one who got away.
“I guess we all have that one person we can't get. Anyway I’m bored with this topic, tell me how the lovebirds are doing. Can Makenzie still walk?” He knows I'm trying to change the subject, but he lets me go with it, smiling and answering me. We sit the rest of the night just talking, it has felt so long since I just talked with Rocco. No drama, no pain. Well, none from Rocco, I can feel a hollow ache in my chest as I try to forget those big green eyes that I wanted to get lost in, but this is for the best.
Chapter Fifteen
Mason
Four months. Four long fucking months and I still can't get her out of my head. I’m sitting at the bar in Vertigo and I’m meant to be having a great night out to try and get me out of this funk I’ve found myself in. I haven't been out in about a month, the thought of going out and picking up some random woman just doesn't do anything for me. Niamh has fucked with my head and left me a mess, like a guy without his balls. When I promised that I wouldn't call or text her, that I would forget about her, I deleted all her numbers from my mobile so I wouldn't be tempted to contact her if I had a moment of weakness. That control had lasted four days before I had reprogrammed her number into my phone. I kept telling myself it was just in case I needed to contact her about her bike, you know the bike we weren't fixing. To be honest it just made me feel better knowing that I had a way to contact her if I ever needed too, I had no intention of using the number but it was like my safety net. The guys at work had noticed my mood for the last few months, to begin with they thought it was funny that I was possibly falling for a girl who didn't want anything to do with me, but now I think they are actually worried. I know Rocco is, he has told me I’m becoming the old him, the
him that we had before he met Makenzie. I laughed it off telling him he was insane, but now that it’s been a few months I realise how right he is. I just can't seem to shrug off this pain I have in my body, I couldn't explain the feeling if anyone asked me, I just feel ... empty.
So here I am, sitting drowning my sorrows in yet another glass of Scotch. The guys are on the dance floor dancing with the lucky ladies that they are showing their interest to, and I just can't seem to find the interest to go and join them. The women here are gorgeous, but they just seem so easy, if I show some interest then I’m guaranteed a bed buddy, but it seems the only thing that gets my dick twitching these days is a bitchy brunette who doesn't put up with my shit. I honestly thought if I had nothing to do with her she would fade from my memory that I would stop thinking about her, but I can't get her out of my head. The girl behind the bar approaches and slides another Scotch in my direction.
“I didn't order that.” I sound like a dick, but I just can't be bothered with this night. I would leave, but I have been warned that if I leave before midnight they're going to tie my arse to the spray bay and paint me yellow. I mean what the fuck, am I Cinderella now?
“I know you didn’t, but that pretty little redhead at the end of the bar sent it. Obviously she has a thing for grumpy men.” I finally look up at her and see the smile on her lips. She so thinks she’s funny. Before I can reply the seat next to me is filled by the redhead that she had mentioned. Fantastic. Now to find a way to get rid of her politely.
“Thanks for the drink.” I must sound more pleasant than I feel at this moment as she smiles at me.
“You’re welcome, you just looked very sad down here sitting on your own. I thought you might want some company.” It’s on the tip of my tongue to say no but then I catch myself. Why am I not interested? Maybe I need this to finally get over Niamh, fuck her out of my system, just not the way that I had planned. I look at the woman sitting next to me, like really look at her and see she is very pretty. Not my usual type, she looks very shy and innocent but I think that might be just the way she looks as shy girls don’t often buy strangers drinks in nightclubs.
“Company would be great. Can I get you a drink?” She quickly loses her innocent look when she licks her lips and smiles. Leaning in towards me, she says into my ear.
“It’s more the company I'm looking for.” Ok, that got my dicks attention. I pick the glass of Scotch up and down it in one. I can feel the burn as it goes down my throat and I embrace it, finally feeling something. I slip from the seat and take her hand pulling her from hers, a little squeak leaving her in shock.
“Come on then…” I don’t even know her name, I’m leaving with someone and I don't know her name. I can almost hear Niamh’s voice in my ear, telling me I’m nothing but a manwhore. I shake my head slightly trying to lose her voice. I need to do this now, and quickly.
“Actually, I don't care what your name is. Do you care that I don't care?” I can feel the Scotch making my head fuzzy, just not fuzzy enough. The girl, whatever her name is, laughs and I take that as an ‘it doesn't matter’ and I drag her towards the door again. A whoop of cheers sounds behind me and I look over my shoulder. All the guys are standing on the dance floor shouting and fist pumping the air because I am leaving with someone. I flip them the bird as I leave through the front doors.
Passing the alleyway next to the club I pull her into it, I can’t wait any longer to have her. This isn't about connection or feelings, this is about fucking, and I need to do it before the stirring in my boxer's fades again. I pin her against the wall and attack her mouth. I feel her lips respond to mine as she parts them, giving me full access. The second my tongue touches hers I know something is very wrong. It just doesn't feel right, her lips are too hard, and they need to soften into mine like ... fuck! I need to get her out of my fucking head. I press harder into my Niamh substitute trying to lose myself, to find some peace from the thoughts that are in my head. I bend my knees trying to get a better angle to rub against her, she doesn't fit my body like I want her to, her body is too hard or too soft, I don't know …it’s just not right. I feel my hard on soften, and no matter how hard I will it to harden it just won't. I pull back from her lips and punch the wall beside her head.
“Fuck!” I see the girl flinch, she must think I’m insane. I lower my head and move to lean against the other side of the alleyway. I can feel my knuckles throb from the punch, but I just don't care at this moment.
“I’m sorry, this just isn’t going to happen.” I can see her shrink into herself a little at my words. Great, now I have made her feel like shit.
“It’s not you.” I hear the little laugh coming from her, yeah that is like the lamest excuse ever.
“No, I swear it isn't. My head is so fucked up at the moment, I don’t even know what I’m doing.” She walks towards me slowly and places a hand on my chest.
“My advice to you, grovel. Whatever you have done to piss her off, grovel and beg for forgiveness. Make her take you back.” With those parting words, she leaves me standing there with my mouth open and completely stuck for words. Me, beg Niamh? Never going to happen.
I’m sitting at the bar again, this time I’m determined to drink myself into a peaceful sleep. I returned after...whatever her name was, left me in the alleyway. I didn’t want to go home and mope, so I decided that getting drunk would be a better option. It seems to be working pretty well if the feel of my legs is anything to go by, and the ache in my fist is gone for now so that’s a bonus. I know it’s going to ache like a bitch in the morning, but I will deal with it then. Finishing up the glass of Scotch I’m currently working on I try to flag down the barman for another but he's really busy. As I wait a guy barges into my back, nearly knocking me from the barstool. I turn to look at him, feeling pissed off.
“Careful, mate. If you can't handle your drink then maybe you should stop.” I turn back to try and get my drink order put in but suddenly I’m flying backwards off the bar stool. My arse connects with the floor and I can feel my teeth clatter together. I look up to see the big guy hunched over me, almost growling in my face.
“What the fuck is your problem.” His arms are like the size of my waist and he has a look of murder in his eyes, maybe I should have looked to see who had pushed me before I opened my mouth. Why do I always get into fights with the big dumb ones? I push myself up to standing, if I’m going to get my arse handed to me I might as well start now, at least with the alcohol in my system it won’t hurt as much.
“Man, you really are one ugly fucker aren't you?” And there goes my mouth, making the whole thing a hundred times worse.
“You have a fucking death wish don't you, you little shit.” The muscles with a mouth spit’s in my face. Oh well, let’s get this done. I pull my fist back and with all the strength I can muster I connect with his jaw. I would have felt better if it looked as though he had actually felt the punch, but he barely moved. What he does do is spit a mouthful of blood at me, well at least I know I hurt him a little, not as much as I sense this may hurt. Before I can register what is happening his shoulder is ramming into my stomach and I'm connecting with the floor again, the only difference this time is I have the added weight of this monster on top of me. The breath is knocked from me when land and I struggle to get more air into my lungs. Fuck how much does this guy weigh? I don't have time to think about it as his fist connects with my face and I see stars. Holy shit, his fists must be made from steel. I raise my hands trying to protect my face from any more abuse, but that just leaves my body open and I feel the pain in my ribs as he lands punches there. The pain stops and I brace myself for the next lot of torture to start, but it never comes. I open my eyes and see Ben and Lucas dragging the man monster off me. Thank god I have friends who protect me when my mouth gets me into trouble. It’s not the first time an angry boyfriend has used me as a punching bag, and I can hold my own against most, but this guy is just too big. I groan as I roll onto my side, all the time holding my rib
s and trying not to puke on the floor. A set of hands pull me up to standing and I start making my way to the door not even looking back to see if the guys are alright. At this moment, I just need to get out of there and lick my wounds.
“So do you feel better now you have had your arse kicked? Did that work her out of your system?”
“Not even fucking close.” I say through a lip that is already swollen.
Niamh
I roll over in my bed, the noise of ringing working it’s way into my head through my dream. I had been dreaming of sexy blue eyes and a mouth that could drive the strongest woman insane. The ringing stops and I cuddle into the duvet, thinking if it’s important they will call back. When the ringing starts again, I realise how late it is, and phone calls at this time of night are never good news. I reach out to my nightstand and grab my phone, not even looking at the name before I answer it.