Lisa’s rueful expression said she’d already thought of that. So had Alex. “Thanks, Deb.”
She offered a quick nod before she moved away from them, on foot.
“They’ll walk the path?”
“Yes.” Alex followed the technicians with his gaze. “You can’t get a good read while you’re driving. No matter how upscale our technology is, sometimes good old-fashioned police work solves a crime.” He turned her way more fully, wanting her to look at him. “How are you doing?”
She kept her attention on Deb and the young man as they traced the trail of bent grass toward the adjacent hay field. “All right, considering.” She glanced at her watch, whistled lightly and moved to her father’s side. Voice low, she indicated the garden shop area with a jut of her chin and moved that way, without a goodbye or even an acknowledgement of his existence on the planet.
Much like he’d done yesterday, so he shouldn’t be surprised by how much it hurt.
She’d taken his hint to heart and kept herself distant, exactly what he’d intimated. At the moment, his decision seemed stupid, shallow and supremely one-sided.
Seeing her, knowing her family had been victimized, recognizing her stoicism while she looked everywhere but at him, Alex knew he needed to be part of this investigation, if for nothing else than his peace of mind.
And the chance to make Lisa smile again.
Chapter Five
“Eye-sweet Lieutenant sighting, three o’clock!” Caroline pseudo-whispered the warning as Lisa rounded the cash register area half an hour later.
Lisa refused to turn, but had no choice when Alex cut around a vibrant petunia display and stopped in front of her. With the register area at her back, and Alex standing rock-solid in front, Lisa had to look up.
Calm gray eyes considered her. Did she imagine a hint of warmth, a gleam of concern? Nothing more than the chivalrous duty of dedicated law enforcement, she told herself. Right until he gripped her upper arms in strong, gentle hands. His touch thrust her dreams back to thoughts of sweet endearments and ever-afters. Hands that cradled, eyes that understood too much. “I will do everything in my power to get your equipment back.”
Endearments?
Ever-afters?
Lisa chose not to sigh, but she mentally laughed at herself, pulled free, sent him a polite smile and a quick nod. “We’d be much obliged.”
He scowled.
She walked away, fuming inside.
He could have sent anyone to pair with Jack Samson on this assignment. Troop A had several knowledgeable investigators. Why him? Why...?
She ran into a solid wall of gray cotton. That smell...summer linen, on the line, sunshine and dew... Clean. Manly. Rugged.
“Before you run away—” he drawled the words, giving her time to realize how childish her behavior must seem “—I thought we’d schedule time for Emma’s project. My work commitments are tough right now and yours are crazy this time of year, but if we synchronize things...”
Lisa had firmly wrapped her brain and emotions around the fact that she wouldn’t be seeing any more of Alex Steele and that he’d find someone else to partner Emma on her project, so his words blindsided her. “You still want me to work with Emma?”
“Yes.” He didn’t pretend this wasn’t a complete turnabout, and that honesty pleased her. “You surprised me yesterday.”
The news of her cancer. She nodded, jaw firm, her gaze lifted to his. On this topic, she would not back down, ever. She might fight the flames of fear that licked inside, but on the outside? She was Lisa Fitzgerald, Cancer Survivor, Warrior Princess! “Your reaction surprised me, so we’re even. But this way, we understand each other.”
“Do we?” His gaze wandered her face, his expression thoughtful. “Are you that intuitive, Ms. Fitzgerald?”
“On certain topics, yes. I realize now that you lost your wife to breast cancer. I’m truly sorry.” She heaved a breath and hoped her look of sympathy said more than lame words. “When I hear that this horrible disease robbed a family of a wife, a young mother, I sometimes feel guilty for living.”
Alex read the remorse in her eyes, and mentally chastised himself. Out loud he said, “I don’t think we get to choose, Lisa. I found that out the hard way, and that’s tough on a guy who loves to be in charge.”
She acknowledged his words with a frown. “I ask myself that every day. Do I want God’s will or do I simply want to keep on living? If the two are at odds, which would I pick? And what if there is no ‘God’s will’?” This time she met his gaze and the look of question said she’d been seeking answers for years and found none, very much like him. “What if the whole thing is a ball of chance,” she continued, “and some of us just get luckier than others?”
Luck? Faith? Alex couldn’t deny the sensibility of her questions. “The science side of me wonders the same thing. But the faith side says I need to man up. Stay strong. Because life doesn’t come with guarantees, right? And I’m the faith model for three kids. If I crash, we all go down together. And I can’t let that happen.”
As Jenny neared the end, he’d known it was selfish to beg for more time... But he did it anyway, afraid of life alone. He had no magic words of comfort to wipe away Lisa’s angst, so he came back to the subject at hand. “So. Emma’s project. What’s step two? And when can we begin? I’m working this weekend, but I expect you need to be here on the weekends anyway, right?”
“Yes. But later Saturday would work for the initial stuff. We don’t want to wait too long. The sooner we get things in the ground, the better acclimated they’ll be before temps get crazy hot.”
He withdrew his phone and flipped to his calendar. “Saturday, four o’clock. What exactly does this entail?”
“Weeding and soil preparation.”
He typed a shortened version into the phone.
She hesitated, and he realized he’d done a real number on her with his reaction yesterday. Today, seeing her, knowing her family and business had been targeted for crime, he wanted to watch her relax over a garden. Grin at his kids. Make Becky’s perpetual frown disappear.
He hiked a brow. “Dinner at six?”
She started to say something, then caught herself and shook her head. “Not a good idea.”
Alex arched the brow higher but stayed low-key and stretched out his single-word question. “Because?”
“You have issues with my issues. Shoot, I have issues with my issues. And I’ve been burned over this whole cancer thing before, so, yes. I’m wary. End of story.”
She almost growled the last comment, and that made him smile. “Good cops learn to deal with issues. And you need to eat.”
“I’m thirty-three years old, I’ve been feeding myself for a while, but thanks anyway. However, I would love to do Emma’s project. That’s it.”
Alex feigned acceptance. The best investigators knew to plant seeds of doubt, guilt or need...then walk away, hoping evidence would come to them.
Mending Lisa’s hurt feelings wasn’t all that different, but he wasn’t about to tell her that. He’d most likely find himself dunked in one of her water gardens.
No, he’d mend fences the old-fashioned way, with time and patience. She’d faced a life-sucking behemoth and won the day. It wasn’t her fault that Jenny had lost her earthly battle. And didn’t Alex try to comfort himself with the promise of life everlasting? Of families rejoined at some day and time?
Scant comfort when the nights are long and cold and the kids are in a funk, man.
He pushed aside his pesky conscience, but knew the truth behind the warning. And he realized he couldn’t toy with Lisa Fitzgerald’s feelings. That would be cruel. But he didn’t want regret, crime or anything else to bother her. Ever. He had no clue what that meant but he bent a touch lower, met her gaze and smiled right at her. “I’ll
see you Saturday. If I have updates on this—” he waved a hand toward the back barn “—I’ll stop by.”
“Or call.” She met his smile with a measured look of disinterest, but her dark brown eyes said maybe she’d like him to drop by and refused to say it out loud. It fed the flicker of hope he shouldn’t allow himself to feel. What-ifs flooded his brain, thoughts of three kids dealing with cancer all over again, but doing Emma’s project with Lisa didn’t equate to a marriage proposal.
“We’ll take it step by step.”
Her look said she read his meaning, but the set of her chin didn’t bode well and that made him wonder who hurt her that badly. He wasn’t sure he wanted to find out.
His cell phone buzzed as he made his way toward Jack at the parking lot’s edge. The nursery was quiet. The lack of people made the expanse of pink more intense, but he didn’t cringe like he had the week before. Seeing Lisa’s drive and devotion bridged his aversion. Or maybe it was the common understanding: they both hated breast cancer. She’d simply chosen to man the fight, head on. He raised his cell phone, saw his mother-in-law’s number, held up one finger for Jack’s patience and took the call. “Nancy, good morning.”
“Hello, Alex. You’re working, right?”
He couldn’t blame her for wondering. His schedule had been choppy of late. Covering hours, changing his schedule to attend school functions. He used to be a stickler for organization. Now he was lucky to plan a day and have it work out. “Yes.”
“I’ve just moved into a short-term rental outside of Wellsville,” she told him. “And I’m on my way to check out a more permanent place with a local Realtor for a few hours, but I’ll be done by mid-afternoon. I’d like to come by and make supper tonight. If that’s all right.”
He did a mental scan of the day. Becky had a Nature Lovers meeting after school and Emma was starting a campaign to get elected for student council for the following year, so she’d be on the late bus, too. “Both girls will be late. You’ll need a key.”
“I can swing by the station.”
“Excellent.” It wasn’t exactly the truth, but he knew he needed to upgrade his relationship with the kids’ grandmother. His parents were retired and living in Arizona. That left Nancy as the sole geographical Grandma, and grandparents should be an important role in a kid’s life. But he didn’t want Nancy’s disapproval or bitterness over Jenny’s loss to make things worse. “I’ll see you at the station. Do you need me to buy anything?”
“Got it covered, so no. And thank you, Alex.”
She shouldn’t have to thank him for allowing her to visit the children. He knew that. But she could make their relationship easier by being nicer.
Like she used to be, he realized. “No thanks needed. It will be great to have supper waiting. See you soon.”
“Okay.”
He disconnected, saw Jack’s look of approval and met it with a fake glare. “What?”
“You acted like a decent guy.”
“Samson, I am a decent guy.”
Jack acknowledged that with a half shrug. “When that chip on your shoulder isn’t weighing you down, yes. A little less of that would help ease things at the station.”
What did Samson know about it? About him? And why were they having this conversation?
“I lost my first wife when I was twenty-eight,” Jack continued.
Alex’s hands went still on the wheel. “You lost a wife?”
“Carrie.” Jack drew a long, slow breath and worked his wedding ring in a circle. “She was driving I-90 outside of Buffalo and a snowstorm hit. Rapid drop in temperatures, black ice, heavy snow, multi-car pile-up. She lived long enough for me and Sherrie Lynn to say goodbye.”
“I didn’t realize.”
Jack accepted Alex’s words. “I had a lot of growing up to do. Like you, I don’t like change. Like you, I tend to box things up. Organize them. All of a sudden I was a single father, a little kid depending on me, and couldn’t find time to breathe much less grieve. I was working as a sheriff’s deputy in Monroe County then.”
“Why’d you switch up?” Alex knew that Monroe County had a strong force with excellent benefits.
“I couldn’t stand being around reminders.”
Another similarity. Alex swallowed hard and nodded. “I hear ya.”
“But I forgot that some people like reminders. They need them. And that I wasn’t the only person who lost Carrie. Her parents were crushed. Her sister was brokenhearted. Her younger brother never forgave me for taking Sherrie Lynn away.”
“It’s only a couple-hour drive,” Alex protested.
“If you’re too young to drive, it’s a lifetime,” Jack replied. He tapped the window as they turned toward Fillmore. “Loss is a funny thing. Everybody takes it different.”
Like Nancy, Alex realized. “You’re telling me that moving everything down here wasn’t the best idea.”
“It is the best idea for you.” Jack hiked that left shoulder again. “But now you’ve got to work double time to make sure the kids are okay. And that your mother-in-law doesn’t lose an entire family on top of losing her daughter.”
Guilt prickled Alex’s neck.
He’d been adamant about moving last fall. When this job opened up, he figured it was meant to be. Divine inspiration or happy luck, either way, the chance to move away from chronic reminders of Jenny, of the life they’d shared, seemed fortuitous.
Now it seemed selfish.
Jack turned his way as he parked the car. “Don’t get me wrong, boss. You’re the head of the family. If you crash and burn, everyone does. So you’ve got to do what works for you. But I found out the hard way that I should have eased that transition for others. Carrie’s brother hasn’t spoken to me for fourteen years. And her parents treat me with kid gloves, as if afraid I might get up and leave again.”
“You remarried.”
“Ten years ago. And Laney and I have two kids together. She adopted Sherrie Lynn. And that made everyone mad all over again, but repairing a family takes hard work. And tough decisions.”
Jack’s words touched Alex. He saw the reflective reasoning in the sage advice. “I need to try harder.”
“Yes.” Jack grinned and clapped him on the shoulder. “Said with the utmost respect for my boss, of course.”
“Duly noted.” A car pulled around back. A thick-waisted, middle-aged detective climbed out. He saw them approaching the building and made it a point to greet Jack, not Alex.
Sal Iuppa had applied for Alex’s position last winter. Command’s decision to hire Alex hadn’t sat well with him, and he didn’t do a whole lot to hide his disdain. He knew the area, inside out and backwards. He thought his knowledge should have put him in the driver’s seat. The command thought otherwise, but several of the guys agreed with Iuppa. In their opinion, a guy who’d done his years of service in urban Monroe County didn’t have a clue how things should be done in the Southern Tier.
Nancy’s car pulled into the parking lot behind them. Alex strode her way, removed a key from his chain and handed it to her through the open driver’s-side window. “Thank you for doing this. And would you mind throwing a load of whites into the washing machine? Josh has Super Tot Soccer tonight and I forgot to wash his uniform.”
“I’d be glad to.” Her gaze brightened. Her eyes shone. And Alex felt like a heel for refusing all her offers to help. What kind of moron was he, thinking he had to do everything alone? “I’ll see you later,” she told him. “Do you want me to pick up Josh from school?”
“Yes.” He said the word so fast that she laughed, and he couldn’t remember the last time he heard Nancy laugh. “It takes me twenty minutes to get him out of the place. He drags me around, wanting me to talk to everyone. Meet the parents. I get home so late it throws off the entire evening when someone has sports. Or dancing le
ssons.”
“I’ll pick him up a little early, then,” Nancy promised. “Can you call the school and let them know?”
“Will do.”
“Okay. See you tonight.”
She pulled out of the lot smiling, and Alex felt a twist in his chest as he watched her go. Like maybe his heart was unclenching a little control by letting Nancy help.
He turned and saw Iuppa’s profile. Would the same maneuver work with the older investigator? Would added responsibility make him feel more valuable or have the opposite effect? He wasn’t sure. He didn’t want to complain to command. That wasn’t his style. But he sensed Iuppa’s simmering discontent would erupt at the worst possible time. He wanted to nip that.
Jenny had balanced his controlling side by thwarting it daily. Her maneuvers worked, even though he fought her haphazardness. She’d tempered him, which meant he’d been out of sync for over two years.
Funny how life had suddenly seemed more normal the day he met Lisa Fitzgerald at the garden store. As if his scales balanced again. Until he realized she’d fought cancer and won, for now. Uncertainty held him back, while her smile drew him forward. But today there had been no smiles. Nearly forty grand in valued equipment had disappeared. He needed to find that machinery and get it released into their keeping, ASAP, if only to see Lisa relax a little.
He’d hurt her.
Then she got robbed.
Now it was his job to fix both things, and in all honesty he didn’t have a plan for either. Which meant he needed to get to work.
Chapter Six
An old man, assaulted, beaten and robbed of less than thirty dollars. Two high-dollar reports of vandalism in sleepy college-town Houghton. And someone in the tri-county area was running a meth lab with record distribution rates.
The Lawman's Second Chance Page 6