The Lawman's Second Chance

by Ruth Logan Herne

  The sound of Nancy’s wheels on the asphalt drive meant he had ninety minutes to contemplate how he’d messed everything up. Again. But looking back, would he have chosen differently? Decided not to follow Lisa into that office and kiss her?

  Not on your life.

  * * *

  That kiss.

  Amazing. Wonderful. Marvelous. Delightful. Strength blended with gentleness and warmth, the combination of senses that made Alex Steele special.

  And unavailable.

  She’d called the doctor’s office that morning. They’d ordered a few tests and set up an appointment for the following week. She’d prayed all day, hoping her cancer hadn’t spread, and that the drugs hadn’t compromised her uterine lining.

  She needed to keep her distance from Alex. How wrong would it be to invite his attention, knowing she might have a problem? And the girls would be at the Garden Center for two long weeks, right up until the day of her appointment. The drive-through pickup should help. She could have Caro or one of the employees keep an eye on the pickup time, make sure it went smoothly. Staying out of sight might keep her off Alex’s radar.

  * * *

  Alex had just finished folding a load of towels when Nancy pulled in with Josh. Josh spotted Becky on the backyard lawn swing. He raced for her, chattering a mile-a-minute, extolling his feats of strength at Super Tot Soccer.

  Alex went outside to save the kid’s life. Becky’s face and stature said she didn’t want to entertain tales of his prowess and before she had time to deflate his growing four-year-old ego, Alex steered him toward the house. “Ice cream sandwiches in the freezer, bud. Toss your soccer stuff in the laundry room and grab one, okay? But don’t eat it in the family room.”

  “Great!”

  Josh raced for the back door. The kid moved nonstop from dawn until dusk, and rarely at a walking pace, a bundle of high energy. His limitless vigor made him perfect for a soccer field. Alex turned Becky’s way as Nancy approached from the driveway. “Are you ready to eat?”

  “I don’t want food.” She hauled her legs up into a folded position and clamped her hands around them, fingers knit, face drawn. “I don’t want stupid chicken and biscuits, I don’t care about ugly, slimy slugs and worms, and I want you to stop kissing Lisa.”

  Silence rang.

  Nancy went still beside him. Very still. He stood there, caught for a moment, wondering which course of action to take. Kill the kid or soothe the mother-in-law’s shock?

  The kid, he decided. But he wouldn’t kill her. Prison didn’t go easy on lawmen. Instead he sank down onto the swing beside her and bundled her up, protesting, into his arms.

  He didn’t say a thing. Not one thing, because this wasn’t about explanations. It was about time and loss, change and adjustment. A part of him wished Becky hadn’t left the car and witnessed the kiss he’d shared with Lisa.

  Another part understood that change would be hard on her no matter when or how it happened. Why not now? He cuddled her and set the wide swing rocking, to and fro.

  Nancy said nothing. He met her gaze and hoped Becky’s words hadn’t hurt her too much, but he recognized the pain in her eyes.

  Jenny’s eyes, a generation removed. Eyes that had been passed down to two of his children.

  She didn’t say a word. She didn’t look mad—she looked...hurt. Resigned. And sad. Oh, so sad. And her step as she walked away?

  Heavy and laden, as if the weight of the world just resettled on her shoulders.

  So much hurt. So much pain. So much responsibility lay at his door, weighting his life. His choices. But he wouldn’t lament why things couldn’t be simple. Not now. Now he’d simply cradle his little girl and let her cry.

  Chapter Eleven

  Nancy pulled into the nearly empty parking lot of Gardens & Greens and sat there, staring at the varied displays, unsure why she’d come.

  She noted the signs of breast cancer awareness. The plethora of pink ribbons. The vendors’ pledge to contribute to the fight-for-a-cure campaign.

  Too little, too late for her beautiful Jenny, worn down by a regimen of treatments that made fighting the disease scary, distasteful and painful. To lose that fight had been the ultimate kick in the head. Not so much to Jenny, at least at the end. Jenny rose to the occasion like she always did. Nancy? Not so much.

  She’d been mad at God. Soul-riddled angry. Confused. Battle-worn. And now, just when she noted the first signs of healing between her and Alex, he was falling for another woman. A replacement for her daughter.

  Reason told her that was normal.

  Loss pierced her, because mothers don’t get replacements. There were no second chances. Jenny had been her one and only, born before science could do miraculous things to help mothers have children. She’d been given one child, one beautiful girl-turned-woman, then lost her too soon.

  Her heart rose up, choking her. She didn’t know what she was doing here. Did she want to see Lisa? Talk to her? Yell at her?

  “Can I help you?”

  She turned. A man stood outside her door. His face showed concern. He leaned down. His glance left indicated the garden store. “We just closed, but it’s light for another hour. If you want to look around, you’re more than welcome. I was just going to water the annuals that haven’t sold yet.”

  “You don’t mind?”

  He shook his head and opened the car door for her. “Why should I? No sense wasting daylight, now is there?”

  She shook her head as she climbed out and choked back the rise of angst in her chest. “No. That would be silly.”

  “Ozzie Fitzgerald.”

  Lisa’s father.

  He put out a hand. Nancy accepted the gesture and raised her chin. “Nancy Armstrong.”

  “Well, Nancy, I’m not sure what kind of project you’re working on, but we should have something that fits.” He strolled down the brick path, waving left and right. “Lisa’s got perennials over there.” He turned slightly. “The shrub-and-tree lot is on that side, and we’ve got major plantings out back.”

  “Major plantings?” She tipped her gaze up to his and realized he had a gentle brow. A strong chin. Late-day shadow marked his face, a brindled mix of gray and brown, but what was left of his hair still held the brown. And he didn’t do a comb-over across the front, in an awkward attempt to hide his bald spot. The hair surrounding it was classic flat-top, military cut. And it looked really good on him.

  “The big trees and bushes we use for landscaping contracts. Pricey.”

  “Ah.” She understood pricey. She’d been blessed with money all her life. Funny how it meant so little now. Her husband gone, her daughter deceased. “I expect they’re beautiful.”

  He smiled and didn’t disagree, but she saw something else in that smile. Something lost and a little worn. “My wife had a knack for all this.” He paused his steps and his gaze wandered the beautiful grounds and displays surrounding them. “Now Lisa does the planning. I do the grunt work. But yes, the things my wife did?” He turned back to her and shrugged. “They’re beautiful.”

  “She’s gone.”

  He nodded, shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. “January. Kind of sudden. I’m not sure what to do with myself some days.”

  Nancy understood that dilemma too well. “I know. People tell you to pick up the pieces and move on, but where are those pieces, exactly? And move on to what?”

  He met her gaze with one so gentle that she wanted to cry and smile all at once. “Why to tomorrow, of course. Whatever God’s got planned for us. Are you planting a garden, Nancy?”

  She nodded. Gardens were the last thing on her mind when she pulled into this parking lot, but standing here, chatting with this man, she’d talk about anything to elongate the moment. “I’m thinking of it for when I get my new
place. Is it too late?”

  He shook his head. “It’s never too late. You just adjust the plant size and hike up the watering schedule. Planting a garden is like raising kids. You just have to work a little harder through the dry times. Have you got a family?”

  Did she? Yes and no. “Grandchildren. Three of them. They, umm...” Say it, Nancy. Spit it out. Face the truth. “My daughter died of breast cancer two years ago. So it’s just me, my son-in-law and the three kids.”

  “I’m sorry.” He turned her way completely, and his face said he understood the pain she couldn’t mention, but his next words surprised and saddened her. “Our Lisa had breast cancer. So far she’s been lucky, but I pray every day that it doesn’t come back, that she has a chance to live her life. God’s promise, right?”

  She shook her head, not understanding.

  “Life to the full,” Ozzie explained in a commonsense voice. He leaned down and clipped off a fading hydrangea blossom, then removed a picture-perfect one and handed it to Nancy. “When my wife got sick, she stayed strong. Tough. A fighter. But when it was Lisa that was sick, Maggie cried every night. Never in front of Lisa, though. She was so mad, so outraged that she couldn’t help Lisa more. Mothers hate to see their children suffer, and Maggie was no exception. She attacked that disease with Lisa, probably just the same as you did with your daughter.”

  Nancy nodded. She’d done all she could, and still failed. But she was here to talk about it, and this nice man’s wife had died. “Yes.”

  Ozzie gazed westward toward the sinking sun. “When I try to reason all this out, I come up blank.”

  “Me, too.”

  “But then I see all this.” He waved a hand to the beauty of mixed floral tones. “I see our little granddaughter, Rosie.” He raised his shoulders again. “And I realize I may never understand things in human terms, so I have to accept that God numbers our days. Not me. Not doctors. Not treatments. And that makes it easier although I’ve never been one to hand over controls easily. Except with my wife, and I learned early on that it was better not to get in her way.”

  His words made perfect sense to Nancy. And peace surrounded him, despite his loss and his daughter’s struggles.

  Warmth stole into her, a seeping goodness of possibilities. She’d been so angered by what she lost, she’d forgotten to celebrate what she had. Her health. Her grandchildren. Her finances, a commodity she’d taken for granted for decades.

  Ozzie thrust his chin toward the greenhouses. “Nancy, would you like to help me water?”

  “I would. Yes.” She jumped at the offer and smiled up at him. “That would be so much fun.”

  He grinned. His chest pumped up as he hauled in a breath, and he scraped a finger and thumb to his chin in a sweet gesture, pure country. “Well, don’t let it be said I don’t know how to show a lady a good time.”

  She laughed.

  So did he.

  A last piece of her heart burst free, opening wide, welcoming the late-day coolness and the bird chatter fading to frog-song. And then she went to water flowers in her gray silk paisley top and white capris and didn’t care if she water-stained them. Not when she was helping Ozzie take care of what was his.

  Chapter Twelve

  Lisa’s cell phone jangled shortly after six the next morning. She tossed the toothbrush down and grabbed the phone, certain there must be an emergency.

  “Hello?”

  “Top of the mornin’ to ya, Lisa!” Alex’s voice came through loud and clear as he pseudo-rapped a line from a popular Christian song she had on her iPod.

  She burst out laughing and sank onto the edge of her unmade bed. “How did you know I love that song? And that I’d be awake?”

  “Farm girls wake up early,” he told her. “And the song came from Emma. She says you walk around humming it all the time.”

  Did she? The obvious answer was yes. “It uplifts me.”

  “It’s great and I just added it to my computer. Hey, about last evening...”

  “When we shouldn’t have kissed?” she mused.

  “I was actually calling to schedule another round because we waited far too long between the first and the second. I do believe we agreed on that.”

  “We agreed to no such thing,” she returned lightly despite the discomfort she was feeling yet again. Hadn’t she just taken two pain relievers? “I can’t factually disagree with your logic, but that might be lack of coffee talking.”

  She heard the smile in his voice. “Go get your coffee. Greet the day.”

  “And Alex?”

  “Yes?”

  She faltered, then added, “I wanted to thank you and the guys for finding our equipment. Having it back will mean a lot to us.”

  “Wasn’t me, but I’ll pass the thanks on. Bless you, Lisa.”

  His gentle blessing made her falter.

  She wanted that very thing, to be blessed with the health so many took for granted. To not have to think and question every stupid symptom or sign. Right now she felt trapped, ensnared, longing to move forward but caught in the unknown.

  You’re scared.

  She hated to admit that, despising her fear. Fear equated weakness.

  Or maybe it’s normal, her conscience suggested. Maybe it’s okay to be afraid, but grab onto faith. Isn’t everyone afraid now and again? And maybe it’s time to stop pretending a strength you don’t have and let God help.

  She gripped the phone tighter, wishing. But the need for regular pain relief reminded her she had no right to move further with these feelings. Not now. Probably not ever. “Thank you, Alex. Back at ya. And hey, it was nice seeing Nancy here last night. She was pulling out as I pulled in.”

  “Nancy was there?” His voice changed. Deepened. “You’re sure?”

  “Positive. Not too many cars like hers around here. She was most likely scouting out plant and flower ideas. Dad doesn’t mind if folks browse when we’re closed. And she told me last week she was house-shopping.”

  “She is.” His tone suggested there was more to the story.

  “Well, there you go.”

  “Yes. I’ll see you later when I pick the girls up, okay?”

  He wouldn’t because she’d make sure he didn’t. Not because she wanted to, but because she needed to. No one with a heart and soul could justify running that young family through cancer’s wringer intentionally, but she said goodbye lightly as if everything was fine.

  It wasn’t.

  * * *

  Nancy had gone to see Lisa.

  Mixed emotions formed a perfect storm in Alex’s gut. Hadn’t he just congratulated himself on better relations with Jenny’s mother? They’d found neutral territory, the beginnings of mutual peace, and now this.

  “Dad! I can’t find my brown boots and I need them for science today. We’re going in the creek!” Emma yelled the question down the stairs because coming and finding him and speaking in a normal tone of voice didn’t enter into her getting-ready-for-school mode.

  “What’s for breakfast?” Josh raced into the kitchen clutching a tattered stuffed bear from his toddler days. He scrambled onto a stool and eyed Alex, expectant. “We like French Toast Sticks. A lot.”

  “Got ’em.” Alex reached into the freezer as Becky rounded the corner. She slumped into a chair, a well-practiced look of utter dejection wrinkling her features.

  “Do I have to go to Lisa’s class today?”

  “You signed up. You go. End of discussion.”

  She pouted, but dropped the subject and he wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. Would she corner Lisa today? Make a scene there?

  Bad enough that Nancy had gone there to confront Lisa. He tamped down a rise of negative emotion, reminding himself what Nancy had lost. And his mother-in-law was making a life-changing commitment to mo
ve closer to them, to be part of her grandchildren’s lives. For that reason alone he needed to keep their relationship uplifting, but how could he if she insisted on interfering? And what would she have said to Lisa if they’d come face-to-face last night?

  That thought made him shudder inside. He’d talk with Nancy today, before he picked up the girls from their gardening class. Better to get things out in the open than let them smolder.

  He stopped by Nancy’s apartment in Wellsville later that day and rang the bell.

  No answer.

  He scanned the parking lot for her car.

  No car.

  He picked up Josh, avoided two single moms that Josh kept insisting he meet and aimed the car toward the Fitzgeralds’ garden store. He’d been waiting for this moment all day, anticipating the time when he could see Lisa again.

  He smiled, hopped out of the car in the parking lot, then grabbed Josh before the four-year-old made a mad dash across the pavement. “Hey. This way.”

  “But Grandma’s here!”

  Alex turned. Stopped. Stared.

  Nancy’s car was parked across the lot. Unless someone else drove a boat-length steel-gray brand-new luxury vehicle, and there weren’t too many of those chasing around the roads of the Southern Tier. The breast cancer pink ribbon logo in the back window confirmed it: Nancy was here. Right now.

  Thoughts of a peaceful resolution fled Alex’s brain. Why had she come? To confront Lisa? She knew what time class ended. Was she here to challenge both of them in front of the kids?

  He grabbed Josh’s hand and strode toward the back barn. This was it. The end. The final straw. No way was he willing to let Nancy’s meddling make things worse with Lisa. As if Lisa hadn’t been through enough already. As if—

  A familiar laugh rang out behind him.

  Alex turned, puzzled.

  Josh broke free and raced left. “Grandma! Hi! You’re here, too!”

  “Joshua.” She paused a conversation with another woman, scooped Josh up and held the boy lightly as if she hadn’t a care in the world.