Yes, again. But true love meant valor. Seeing Alex’s kids grow in acceptance and maturity? That was a priceless gift. One she didn’t dare destroy.
* * *
Alex hit Nancy’s phone number on his way to interview the children. “Do you mind picking up the kids for me? Getting them cleaned up for the concert? If you’re not working, that is.”
“Ozzie and I are both coming, so that makes it easy.” Her voice had been on perpetual upswing since starting her job at Gardens & Greens. Or maybe it was proximity to Ozzie Fitzgerald. In any case, Nancy Armstrong was happy for the first time in years. “I’m here anyway, so it would be senseless for you to drive over here unless there was another reason for you to drive over here...”
She left the comment open-ended. He heard the smile in her voice. The gentleness in her tone. No rebuke, no guilt.
“If I had time, I would,” he confessed. It felt odd to admit that to Jenny’s mother. “But we’re swamped.”
“Ozzie and I would like to take the whole family out for chicken nuggets after the performance. If that’s all right?”
“It’s so far beyond all right as to border magnificent,” Alex replied. He hesitated, wondering if he should have invited Lisa. In a small town, bringing a single woman to your kids’ concert was a bold statement, and while he was feeling pretty daring, the woman in question kept backing away. He had tomorrow off, but he’d planned a surprise he hoped would tip the scales toward normal with his children. Maybe they could plan something for this weekend?
He hoped so. “Then it’s okay if I meet you at the school?”
“Perfect.”
He hung up the phone and considered the change in her.
She sounded happy. And young, which was funny for a woman eyeing sixty years, but not so amusing when he felt old on a regular basis.
But not around Lisa. He called, later, wondering if she’d like to go to the concert with them.
No answer. Was she busy or avoiding him? Probably both, Alex mused as he entered the school with a quarter hour to spare. Courting Jenny back in college hadn’t been this convoluted.
His life was different now. Looking back, he wondered if he appreciated the blessing of a wonderful woman like he should have.
No.
Knowing that, he refused to make the same mistake again. Like it or not, Lisa Fitzgerald would know she was loved and cherished, every day. If and when he got time to court her in earnest.
“Dad! Over here!” Josh’s yell drew heads around. The look of excitement on his little face—
Which could go to meltdown mode in a heartbeat considering the evening hour—
His wide-open expression embraced life, love and family. Josh sprang up, hugged Alex, then climbed back on Ozzie’s knee. “I can see better from here,” he explained.
Alex met Ozzie’s smile with a slightly raised brow. “And that’s all right with you?”
“Couldn’t be better.” Ozzie ruffled the boy’s hair and Josh squealed. “I like having kids around. Don’t you, Nance?”
“Love it!” She aimed a happy look of agreement at Ozzie. “I can’t remember when I’ve had this much fun, Oz. Being here, with the kids.” She layered butterfly kisses to Josh’s cheek. “And working at the farm with you. I won’t know what to do with myself when the season’s over.”
Ozzie met her gaze and drawled his answer with pointed deliberation. “We’ll spend our time getting ready for the next one, of course.” He winked at her and the look of absolute pleasure on her face made Alex grin.
An empty seat yawned at his right. Josh’s seat, he knew, but he pictured Lisa there, laughing, chatting with friends and neighbors, then cheering the youthful choir on throughout the show. It felt wrong not to have her there, a part of this family night. The empty seat told him he needed to take off the cruise control and leave Lisa no exit routes. He was tired of being a turtle, wearing a shell. From now on he was the rabbit, running the race with gusto.
But the rabbit lost the race, his conscience reminded him.
The rabbit might have, Alex mused as the kids took their places on the risers. But he wouldn’t.
* * *
Lisa watched as Nancy, her father and Alex’s girls pulled away from the garden store that evening.
She drew in a deep breath, tackled cleaning the potting barn as if her life depended on it and forced herself not to cry.
Jesus had healed the lame, the sick, the sightless. He’d cured lepers, made them well and whole.
But people died every day, in the prime of their life, like the trooper on the highway, doing his job. Jenny Steele, a young mother, a loving wife. Lisa couldn’t come close to reasoning these things out.
Her phone rang. Alex. She eyed the display and muted the phone. Most likely he was calling to see if she’d come to the concert. He didn’t know how close she came to chasing the car down and begging a ride in the backseat.
But strengthening her ties to Alex and those beautiful children before this diagnosis would be wrong, wouldn’t it? She pocketed the pesky phone, closed the potting shed door, mopped her eyes and squared her shoulders.
She’d know, soon. Regardless of the outcome, knowing was better than endless speculation.
Which would be fine if the concert was tomorrow night, her conscience scolded. Are you really going to stay home and miss a wonderful community event while you wait and worry? Haven’t we gotten beyond that yet? Because we should have.
Hesitation slowed her step. Should she have moved beyond the worry stage? Did cancer patients ever get beyond that point?
Yes, she decided. They had to, or drive themselves crazy. She didn’t bother changing her clothes because walking into the house might give her time to reconsider. She grabbed her keys off the hook, waved to the girl up front who was closing things up that night, pocketed her phone and drove to the elementary school. She had to park a block away, but when she walked into the old auditorium, she saw Nancy, her father, Josh and Alex seated toward the front. She wove her way through throngs of proud parents and made her way down the left-hand aisle, just in time. “Is that my seat?” She indicated the empty seat to Alex’s right with a raised brow and a slight smile.
Ozzie turned, surprised.
Nancy smiled and dipped her chin.
Josh squealed. “Lisa! You came!”
Alex simply rose and waved a hand. “I was saving it for you.”
Oh, those words. That look. The calm acceptance of what had been and maybe what could be.
Believe.
He reached out a hand to help her across. As she stepped by Ozzie, Nancy and Josh, Alex squeezed her hand, ever so lightly. And when she slipped into the seat alongside him, he didn’t let go. He just sat there, holding her hand, making her feel like the most desirable woman in the world with that simple touch, a gesture others would notice, for sure.
And regardless of what happened at the doctor’s office, it felt good.
Chapter Sixteen
“Lisa, good morning.” Dr. Alvarez shook Lisa’s hand, indicated the seat across from her and opened Lisa’s folder as Lisa sat down. “Let’s cut right to the chase: there is no cancer.”
Relief washed over Lisa, as if the sun just broke through a rain-soaked morning. “You’re sure?”
Dr. Alvarez nodded. “The tests found nothing of note. What you do have are some fibroid tumors thickening the lining of the uterus. They’re benign, they can be uncomfortable, and they’re probably there because your hormones are in a jumble from the medicines, but for the moment we can just watch and see. Simply put, they’re a thickening of the muscle tissue of the uterus. Once you’re off the chemo, the hormones may adjust to a normal level and they could disappear entirely on their own. Nothing to worry about. Fibroids are quite common in women as they age. Your che
mo has fooled your body into thinking you’re older than you are. Once you’re done with it in...” she eyed the chart “...two months, things may go back to whatever should be normal for you now.”
“And that’s it?”
The doctor smiled. “That’s it.”
All that worry for nothing. She’d read the stats, she knew what fibroids were, she understood that possibility, but she’d sailed over that info and zeroed in on the cancer risk.
She stood.
So did the doctor.
“Thank you, Doctor. I feel silly.”
Dr. Alvarez shot her a look of amazement as they moved to the office door. “You shouldn’t. I’d rather have patients come in and be checked before things get out of hand, than after. God gave you one body, Lisa. One vessel. It’s okay to take care of it.”
“You’re right.” Lisa paused at the door as she turned to say goodbye. “But I need to stop seeing cancer’s shadow everywhere I go. In everything I do. It’s time to trust that it’s gone, once and for all.”
“On a personal level, yes. But the whole Southern Tier appreciates all you’re doing to heighten awareness, Lisa. As long as it doesn’t impinge on your mental health.”
It wouldn’t if Lisa guarded against it better, spiritually and emotionally. She reached out and gave the doctor a quick hug. “Thank you.”
Dr. Alvarez smiled and tapped the chart in her hand. “You’re welcome.”
* * *
“Dad?” Emma perked up as Alex pulled into the parking lot adjacent to a long white single-story building on Friday morning. “Why are we here?”
“Where’s here?” Becky popped her head up from the game system in front of her. Her gaze wandered, suspicious, then hopeful as she read the Hornell Animal Shelter sign. “Dad, are we—?”
“Getting a dog?” Emma finished the question, eyes wide.
“I’ve been wanting a dog forever!” Josh declared.
Alex swiveled to face the girls. Always eager to be unleashed, Josh hung over the seat, eyes wide. “Back when Mommy was sick and you guys were small and I was going a little crazy, I gave your puppy to some nice people up near Rochester.”
Emma nodded.
Becky did, too, but then she reached out a hand to his cheek, his face. “You had to, Dad. We weren’t being much help with him.”
Bless her heart. She was five years old at the time, her mother dying, she was in her first year of school and she felt guilty because she hadn’t helped enough with the overgrown pup they’d adopted when Jenny was doing well. “It wasn’t your fault, Becks. Or Emma’s. It wasn’t really anyone’s fault, except maybe mine, but sometimes even grown-ups get overwhelmed.”
Emma nodded. “I know, Dad.”
“So.” He jutted his chin toward the shelter door. “I called these folks yesterday. They have some nice dogs here and I thought we’d stop by now that you guys are out of school for the summer and see about getting a dog. If you’d still like one, that is.”
“We do!” Josh made the declaration at the top of his lungs.
“Dad.” Becky leaned close as if concerned for Josh’s feelings. “We don’t have enough money. Emma and I only have twelve-fifty between us.”
“I’m paying.” He met both of their looks with a firm but happy one of his own. “It’s the least I can do. If we find one we want.”
“How will we know which one needs us the most?” Emma asked.
“The eyes,” Becky declared. “You can always tell by the eyes. Miss Viola told Lisa yesterday that she could tell something was wrong by her eyes, so that’s where we should look first.”
“The eyes.” Emma nodded and shrugged. “That kind of makes sense.”
Alex zeroed in on Becky’s revelation. “You overheard Miss Viola and Lisa talking?”
Becky nodded, anxious to climb out of the car. “Yes. But I wasn’t eavesdropping, Dad.” She gave him her classic eye roll. “Lisa was late and I wanted to help her get class started. That’s when I heard her say she was going to see the doctor this morning because he did some tests.”
Alex didn’t doubt the veracity of the eight-year-old’s words because Becky had spent years hearing about tests, scans and checkups. But why would Lisa’s doctor order tests?
“Did she mention the doctor’s name?” He asked the question with more nonchalance than he felt.
Becky frowned, thinking, then snapped her fingers. “Dr. Elvis. In Olean.”
Alex pulled out his smart phone and did a quick scan of the phrase “Oncologist Olean, New York.” The second name on the list jumped out at him: Dr. Emily Alvarez, gynecological oncology.
Alex switched his attention to meet his children’s uplifted gazes. Three kids, three gifts, three little beings brought into the world by a mother who loved them. Loved him.
But Jenny was gone. Nothing could bring her back. And Lisa was here, right now. And she needed him. Needed them. He leaned closer and held their attention with his look and his voice. “Guys. There’s something we need to do right now. And as soon as we’re done, we’ll come back here and pick out a dog, okay? But we would be wrong to make this decision without Lisa here. She needs to be with us.”
“Oh, I like Lisa!” Josh fist-pumped the air and scrambled back into his seat.
Emma reached out a hand to Alex’s arm. “That’s a good idea, Dad. We should have thought of that sooner.”
She was right, but he’d been assuming he had time. What if the unthinkable happened? What if they didn’t have time?
It didn’t matter, he decided. Letting Lisa face a crucial moment alone didn’t make the short list. He started to turn the car around, then paused and caught Becky’s gaze in the rearview mirror. “You okay with this, Beck?”
“Is she sick again, Daddy?”
“I hope not, honey. But if she is, she’ll need friends, right?”
“Yes.” Becky sank into her seat, adjusted her shoulder harness and waved toward the road. “Sitting here’s getting us nowhere, Dad.”
She was right. He called the garden center, just in case Lisa was there. She wasn’t, and when he pressed Caro about the doctor visit Becky overheard, she admitted that Lisa was in Olean now. Right now.
He aimed west on I-86, and parked outside the professional building listed on the internet website. He jumped out of the car, corralled the kids, herded them to the curb, up the stairs and ushered them into a quiet waiting room.
A dear and familiar woman stood at the reception desk, her back to them. Their not-so-quiet entry made her turn. Surprise brought quick emotion to her eyes. She sought his gaze and a look of wonder joined the tears. “Alex?”
“Are you okay?”
She frowned. Her expression softened as understanding dawned. “Yes. Nothing major at all. But how did you...?” She saw Becky’s look and nodded. “Someone overheard me talking to Viola yesterday.”
“But I wasn’t really listening!” Becky raced forward, grabbed Lisa in a hug and gazed up, imploring. “I just heard a few words and Daddy said that no matter what was going on, you’d need us around. Was he right, Lisa?” She leaned back and peered up, her little-girl look beseeching. “Do you need us?”
“I do.” Lisa said the words simply, grazed a hand to Becky’s cheek, then raised her eyes to Emma, Alex and Josh. “I need every single one of you. Every day. What do you think about that?”
“Wonderful?” Emma breathed the one-word response from her father’s arm, grinning.
Alex crossed the room, intent, his gaze assessing. “So what did she say? Why are you here? And why didn’t you tell me, Lisa?”
“Three absolutely marvelous reasons.” She settled a look on each child in turn. “But it turns out that once again I was borrowing trouble, worried about nothing, and I should know better, Alex Steele, because I’ve done it
before and it’s utterly ridiculous.”
He leaned in and brushed the sweetest, gentlest of kisses across her mouth, her cheek. “Not ridiculous at all. But next time, you’ll tell me and we can both watch and worry for a few weeks, okay?”
“Really?” She passed a soft hand to Josh’s face, marveling at the silky-sweet smoothness of the little boy. “Because I hated carrying this burden alone.”
“Never again, Lisa.” Alex reached out, hauled her into his free arm and hugged her tightly. “From now on we’re in this together. You. Me. Them.” He swept the kids a look that said they’d be along for the ride. “Oh. And the dog.”
“The what?”
“Our dog,” Josh explained. “Daddy said we couldn’t pick out the dog without you so we drove all this way but the place might close so can we hurry, please? Because I’ve been wanting to get a dog all my life.”
Lisa burst out laughing. She bent, gathered Josh up, grasped Emma’s hand and smiled at Becky. “You did good, kid.”
Becky grinned, smug. “I know.”
“You’re all set here?” Alex asked as he noted the women behind the desk watching them. Bright smiles of combined approval met his gaze.
“Yes.” Lisa turned and waved. “See you next year, ladies. For my regular checkup.”
“We’ll be here, Lisa.”
She went through the door with Josh and Emma in tow, and when Alex reached ahead to open the heavier outside door, it was a natural move to turn and find his mouth with hers. Kiss him, gently, lightly, right here with the children around. “Thank you.”
He smiled, touched a finger to the tip of her nose, then followed the finger with a soft kiss. “For?”
“Finding me. Coming after me.”
“Loving you.”
Her eyes grew moist, but he thwarted the tears with a quick look at his phone. “We’ve got an hour before the shelter closes today. Think we can make it without getting a ticket?”
Lisa settled Josh into his seat, buckled his straps and aimed a look at Alex. “If not, I know a cop who might put in a good word for us.”
“Is he a good cop?” he wondered out loud and smiled when Lisa laid her hand atop his.
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