Is Rowan Bradford asking me out?
“I can’t,” I stammered out, eyes going huge.
I’d sworn off men when I left Chicago. I hadn’t so much as looked at a guy since moving to Bradford Cove. There was no way I was ready to go on a date.
Wait, is this a date?
A friendly night out didn’t sound like anything romantic . . . but still . . . tell that to my heart. It was already racing at the tiniest sliver of possibility that this gorgeous man might actually see something in me. I couldn’t handle something like that. Friendly dinner or not. I’d proven that I didn’t make the best decisions when gorgeous men were involved.
Rowan smiled at me expectantly, his arms folding across his chest. I could tell by the look on his face that he expected me to change my mind..
I was just formulating a courteous rejection when Mabel butted in. “Of course she will! You can pick her up here at seven!”
“Mabel!” I gasped, turning toward the woman, but Rowan was already retreating toward the front door.
“Seven it is,” he said, backing out of the shop with a grin on his face.
I stared after him long after the door swung closed, jittery excitement pulsing through my veins, no matter how much I tried to tell myself this was nothing more than an apology dinner from a guy who owed me one.
Chapter 9
Rowan
It’d been a long time since I’d looked forward to spending an evening out with anyone, especially a woman. Strangely, I found myself humming some random tune as I strode back toward my waiting black BMW where it sat, glossy as a raven’s wing.
All I’d really wanted was the chance to make up for my bad behavior with the beautiful florist. I’d done that by giving her our business for Ivy’s wedding, but I found it wasn’t enough.
The same feeling I’d had while strolling the grounds of my home with her had overtaken me again when we’d stood on the front stoop of the tiny flower shop. I didn’t know what it was about Tess, but I wanted more time with her. The first thing that had popped into mind was a casual dinner—or at least that’s what I’d told her. But nothing felt casual as I climbed into my car and sped home, my heart racing with anticipation.
My father always used to say the best business deals were sealed over a meal, and I told myself that was all this was. I was just making sure everything was completely smoothed over with Tess so she did her best for my little sister’s wedding.
It was all strictly business, right?
So then why was I already worrying about what I was going to wear or even worse, what she’d be wearing? My nerves took flight every time I let myself envision Tess’s smile or how soft her long brown hair might feel if I were brave enough to touch it.
By the time I arrived back home, my stomach was in knots. Why on earth had I asked her out?
I got out of my car and the world seemed to tilt away from me. I took a deep breath and grabbed onto the hood, letting it anchor me.
This was a bad idea.
Business dinner or not, I was not ready for any form of a date. I hadn’t been on a first date in . . . who knew how long. And it’d only been a year since I’d buried my . . . Rachel . . .
Her voice rang out in my head, and I couldn’t breathe.
Suddenly I was back there. In Libya, on my knees, taking cover as the sky rained terror down around me. I gasped for breath, choking on the thick smoke as I struggled through the darkness, reaching out over and over again for the woman I knew I wouldn’t find.
A car door shut, jerking me from my flashback. I opened my eyes to see my mother walking toward me. The smile that had been on her face slid out of place and she hurried toward me.
“Rowan? Sweetheart?” She rushed to my side and folded herself up next to me in the driveway, not a moment’s concern for her elegant white pants. She brushed a hand over my clammy forehead. “Darling, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
I had.
I was crouched on my heels, my back resting against the sturdiness of my car as I gulped in air, trying to catch my breath. It was beyond embarrassing to be caught in a weak moment like this. It’s why I seldom left the house. I couldn’t trust myself. Sometimes the flashbacks swallowed me so completely the world just disappeared, plunging me back into a warzone, back into that nightmare that hadn’t truly ended.
“Shhh . . .” my mother soothed, brushing back my sweat-drenched hair. “Just breathe. You’re here with me, Row.”
But was I?
My mother always said she was happy to have me home. But as I leaned into her touch, I realized that I hadn’t really come back. Not all of me, anyway. And I had a feeling nothing would bring me back. That airstrike had blown apart my world and I couldn’t expect anything or anyone to put me back together again.
Which was precisely why this dinner with Tess was a terrible idea.
With my head firmly planted in reality, I gathered my strength and stood up, helping my mother to her feet. Her keen blue eyes missed nothing as she studied me, rehashing the silent conversation we always had.
Was I okay? Did I want to talk about it?
The answer to both was no. Which meant, I’d do what I always did—avoid.
“Everything’s handled with the florist,” I said.
I knew Ivy’s wedding was about the only thing that could distract my mother from my momentary breakdown, so I dove into a detailed report of my accomplishments at Mabel’s.
My mother was thrilled that Tess had agreed to take on the wedding despite my behavior. She told me Ivy was still at the bridal shop trying to procure the perfect backup dress and this was just the news she needed. Apparently, Ivy had been ecstatic over the photos of Tess’s plans for the flowers that my mother had shared with her. Ivy wanted her wedding to be over-the-top fabulous and Tess’s ideas were right in that vein despite the brunette’s apparent aversion to our luxurious lifestyle.
My mother was even more surprised when I mentioned that I was thinking of taking Tess out to dinner. She followed me in shock, chasing me up the stairs as I headed into the house.
“You’re thinking of taking her to dinner or you are taking her to dinner?” she asked.
“Well, I invited her to dinner to make sure I’d truly smoothed things over, but now,” I clenched my hands into fists as my embarrassing flashback threatened to resurface. “I don’t know if I’m feeling up to it.”
My mother stiffened, drawing herself up to her full height. “Rowan Bradford, if you invited that girl to dinner, I expect you to take her out for the best darn meal Bradford Cove has to offer. She’s been jerked around enough by this family and I will not have Ivy disappointed yet again.” She leaned in closer. “If you give your sister a reason to change her mind about hosting her wedding here so help me, Rowan. One more disaster and she’s bound to change her mind and go back to New York City. I won’t have that, do you understand?”
“Yes, ma’am,” I replied, fighting the urge to salute.
Eleanor Bradford could be every bit as intimidating as the military personnel I’d encountered during my time with Doctors Without Borders.
“Good. Now go make yourself presentable,” she replied, turning on her heels to march back downstairs, muttering something about saints and prayers.
Sighing, I turned tail and retreated to my bedroom. While I might not be up for going to dinner with the intriguing Tess, I knew I most definitely wasn’t up for a battle with my mother or sister. Which was surely what would happen if I let my inconsistent heart screw up Ivy’s big day by costing her Bradford Cove’s only florist.
I showered, doing my best to wash away my anxiety, promising myself that if I could just keep it together through one meal that I could come back and fall into my old reclusive routine. I reminded myself that I was doing this for Ivy, for my mother, hell, even for Tess.
It wasn’t their fault that I was a mess. My mother and Ivy had always been there for me. It was time I returned the favor. Plus, Tess was being kind enoug
h to give me a second chance. Something told me she didn’t dole those out often. I didn’t want to disappoint her.
With renewed confidence, I poked through my closet to find something to wear. Caring for others had always been important to me. It was why I’d found the medical field so appealing. And now that I’d turned tonight’s dinner into a caregiving mission, it didn’t seem so daunting. That was until I walked out of my closet to find my mother looking pensive.
She sat on the edge of my bed, her ankles crossed, and her hands clasped. I could tell something was weighing on her, and I didn’t have to try too hard to figure out what it was.
Her blue eyes softened when they met mine. “Row, I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Well, after I had a moment to reconsider, I realized how inconsiderate my request was. I shouldn’t push you to go on a date. If you’re not ready . . .” she trailed off. “Well, after what happened no one could blame you,” she whispered softly.
Just the mention of what happened a year ago made my entire body go stiff, undoing all the progress I’d just made. But I knew my mother only had good intentions. She cared about me, about all her children more than anything else. I also knew when I left for Doctors Without Borders, she’d probably spent many sleepless nights worrying that I wouldn’t come back.
I almost hadn’t.
With all I’d caused her to endure at the forefront of my mind, I slowly approached her. Instead of sitting on the bed next to her, I took up the spot across the room, leaning my back against the bedroom wall. “You always say I'm too cooped up in this house, Mom,” I answered, “and that I need to stop being so reclusive.”
“Rowan—”
“No, you’re right. And I’ve got to start somewhere.”
She raised an eyebrow. “But a date?”
“I'm just going out with a new friend, that’s all. I was a jerk to Tess and the least I can do is make it up to her with a meal.”
“That’s all it is?” she asked.
I nodded.
Something like disappointment crossed my mother’s face. “Well, if you’re sure you can handle it.”
“I’m sure,” I promised.
Rising to her feet, my mother crossed the room, her eyes going soft as her hand cupped my cheek. “I heard you laugh today, Rowan. You have no idea how much I miss that sound.” She let her hand fall away. “Go have fun tonight. If anyone deserves it, it’s you.” She kissed my cheek and left the room to let me finish getting ready.
My mother’s words stayed with me long after she left my room. ‘I heard you laugh today.’ It was true. Tess had made me laugh, and I could use that in my life right now.
I quickly checked my reflection. A tailored button-up shirt, black slacks and a black pair of loafers. I looked as good as I had in a long time. It was time to stop stalling.
I grabbed my keys and headed back to my car.
Tonight wasn’t about whether or not Tess and I would fall head-over-heels. It wasn’t about whether or not this was the start of something magical. It was about facing fears. It was about the fact that I was still here and finding a way to deal with my failure that didn’t involve hiding in my parents’ house. And honestly, it was about the fact that I hadn’t looked forward to anything this much in a very long time.
There was just something about Tess. She made me laugh and I wanted to hear her laugh too. More than that, I found that I wanted to hear her stories, to get to know her. But most strangely of all, I was looking forward to hearing her say my name instead of Gerald’s.
“This isn’t a date,” I reminded myself as I pulled into town. “You’re just taking baby steps here.”
But even so, I couldn’t quite convince my heart. And this time, I wasn’t sure if it was fear or excitement that made the empty spot in my chest throb faster. Tess was entirely unique in Bradford Cove, a one-in-a-million girl. Wouldn’t anyone want to be her friend?
But is friendship all I want?
I guess I’d answer that question tonight.
The lights of Mabel’s Flowers were still on when I parked. I took a deep breath and headed up to the front door of the building. Mabel bustled forward, throwing open the door and grinning wildly. “Good to see you again, Rowan!”
I smiled politely back at her. “You too, Miss Mabel.”
“Tess will be right out. She’s just in the bathroom powdering her nose. Where are you going to take her tonight?” Mabel asked.
“It’s a surprise,” I winked, earning another giggle from the pink-cheeked woman. Actually, I’d gotten the idea when my mother demanded I give Tess the best Bradford Cove had to offer. I just hoped it was appealing to someone from Chicago.
Mabel stepped forward, her voice dropping to a whisper as she patted my arm. “Listen, Rowan, I know what happened in Libya and I just wanted to say—”
“No condolences necessary, Miss Mabel,” I interrupted, my chest tightening uncomfortably. I didn’t want to think about that now. Tonight, I just wanted to live in the moment; for the first time in a year.
Mabel blinked, eyes widening slightly. “Oh, sugar, no. I wasn’t going to offer you condolences, although what you went through was mighty sad. I was just going to say it’s real nice to see you out and around town again.”
I smiled softly at the woman in surprise. “Oh. Well . . . thank you. It’s good to be out.”
Mabel nodded. “Well, in my opinion you couldn’t have chosen a better gal to be out and about with.”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
Mabel’s kind expression took on a stern motherly look. “Now you treat her right, ya hear? Lord knows Tess has had about as much luck as you in affairs of the heart.”
Mabel’s comment caught me off guard. I was just about to ask her what she meant when the door creaked open and Tess wandered out.
She’d changed clothes since earlier, no longer wearing a pink blouse and jeans, but a floaty yellow sundress that swirled around her thighs, making her tan body glow. Just the sight of her was enough to make my throat go dry.
Tess looked unbelievable.
This wasn’t a date, I reminded myself forcefully.
“Ready?” she asked, a faint red flush creeping up her neck and cheeks as I marveled at her beauty.
“Definitely,’ I answered, stepping closer to offer her my arm.
With a wave to Mabel, Tess let me guide her to my car. I opened the passenger door for her, letting her slide in. I quickly jogged to the driver’s side like I was afraid she’d change her mind. But I couldn’t help myself. I felt like I was back in high school, scoring a date with a girl completely out of my league. And Tess Taylor was most certainly out of my league. The entire time I’d walked her to my car I’d had to hold my breath. She was so beautiful I couldn’t stop staring and that combined with the way she smelled . . . I wouldn’t have been surprised if I’d tripped over my own feet.
Thankfully, I managed to pull away from the curb without humiliating myself. But that didn’t stop the swarm of hornets in my stomach. Every time I allowed myself to glance at her, the radiance of the streetlights caressed her, accentuating the slopes of her toned figure and the length of her bronze legs.
Just friends, Rowan. Just friends.
Could I really be just friends with a woman who looked so damn good without even trying?
We drove in silence for a few minutes, my eyes on the road and hers locked out the window. When we pulled up to a small diner, she gave a slight grin, and my ego rejoiced.
I’d chosen right.
A red neon sign announced that The Low-Country Kitchen was open.
Under the rusted, tin awning, the small restaurant was alive. White lights bobbed over the patio, illuminating the crowd of locals enjoying beers and chatting away at picnic tables covered in red and white checkered tablecloths. From the buzz I could already hear, I was certain the inside of the restaurant was just as busy. The familiar booths would be filled with people sipping sweet tea over plates of
fried chicken and fresh-made biscuits.
I grinned as I let the memories of this place wash over me. The sound of country music floating through the balmy air, the scent of baking biscuits and fried chicken . . . It felt like coming home.
Tess straightened in her seat, a faint smirk lighting her face. It slipped away when my hand moved to the door handle.
“Is this really where we’re going?” she asked, her tone curious as she quizzically studied me.
“Yeah,” I answer with a grin. “It’s my favorite place to eat and I haven’t gotten a chance to visit since I came back to town last year.”
She surveyed me carefully, one eyebrow lifting. “So that much was true then? That you’ve been living with your parents for a year?”
I nodded. “I left right after high school to get a medical degree and only came back a little over twelve months ago.”
“I got here about a year ago too,” she murmured, considering the coincidence.
While she grabbed her purse, I got out of the car and walked around to her side to let her out. It felt natural to offer her my arm as we walked through the gravel lot leading up to the small restaurant together. As much as I’d reminded myself that this was just a meal between friends, I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was the start of something more.
With Tess by my side, I felt . . . Well, I just felt, period! And that was something I hadn’t let myself do in a very long time.
As we bypassed the patio Tess hesitated, pulling me up. “It’s such a beautiful night. Don’t you want to sit outside?”
I shook my head, giving her a knowing smirk. “We don’t want to sit outside tonight.”
“Why not?”
“It’s going to rain.”
She looked at the clear sky skeptically. “How can you possibly know that?”
I shrugged, not ready to divulge all my secrets just yet. “Trust me.”
I offered Tess my hand once more and after another brief pause she decided to take it. With her hand in mine I felt electrified as I led Tess inside ready to give her a taste of Bradford Cove’s finest—at least in my opinion.
Palmetto Passion: A Sweet Small Town Family Romance (The Bradford Brothers Book 1) Page 7