by Tina Reber
“Sounds good. What time you have to be at the hospital?” We both looked at her alarm clock.
“I’ve got almost two hours.”
I rubbed the sore spot blooming on my elbow. Her fucking tub shower was so narrow it wasn’t even funny. I’d really whacked it good, catching the corner of the interior towel bar. Trying to fuck her properly in there wasn’t easy, and after I almost busted the damn glass in its track, we gave up, finished showering, and I took her back on her bed.
I could still taste her flavor on my tongue, which was something I hoped would last a few hours, at least, to get me through the night. “You find out about your fellowship?”
The astonished look on her face surprised me. “Yeah, I did.”
I really wanted Erin to stop going through her laundry basket as seeing her in nothing but a bra and matching undies was turning me on. I lost my heavenly vision when she pulled a tight blue top up over her head.
When she didn’t go on, I tugged on her hand until I had her standing in front of me. I nudged her thighs until she was straddled up over my lap, right where I wanted her. “Now then.” I held her hips, making sure I had her complete attention. “Tell me.”
Erin held my shoulders and then moved them up my neck. I wanted her to feel comfortable with me and I found myself craving it, leaning into her touch.
“You were right. It was bullshit.”
Thank God. “Good. And the woman who started it? You confront her?”
“No,” she sighed. “She wasn’t in. Probably a good thing too because I was really mad. I can’t risk getting into trouble at work. I’m trying to convince myself that she’s not worth it.”
I didn’t like the idea of people upsetting her. It pissed me off. “That kind of frustration is good to take out at the range.” My cell pinged, probably reminding me of my conference call later tonight with John Turk from the NYPD. I had a lot of shit to do between now and then, but the incredible woman spanning my lap was my top priority. I could tell just by the way her breath was uneven to know there was more to her story. I held her gaze. It was my best interrogation technique. Most females would continue talking if you just gave them your full attention or stared at them until they cracked.
“I should have known better not to believe her,” she admitted.
My patience paid off. “You didn’t know. It’s something that’s very important to you.”
“My boss keeps trying to convince me to stay in the ER. It would be a huge pay cut to take the fellowship.”
“Huge?” I asked.
Her nod was quite confirming.
“What are you going to do?”
Erin shrugged. “Sometimes I’m not sure.”
My hands tightened on her hips, wishing I could give her the answer. “Back when I was in college I debated going to law school. I had the grades.”
“You wanted to be a lawyer?”
I adjusted her on my lap, rubbing her bare legs resting next to mine. “Considered it for a long time but then when I graduated I had to decide, do I pursue a career capturing them in the act and putting them in jail or do I study my ass off with the hopes of making sure they stay in jail?”
“Well, at least you wouldn’t have had the risk of getting wounded.”
I felt my stitches tug. “Yeah, but I could have gotten paper cuts.”
I loved hearing her laugh.
“They hurt!”
“And they’re not covered by most insurances either.” She snickered.
I combed her hair back over her shoulder. “My point is that I realized I needed to be where the action is, not sitting behind some desk. I can’t stop them sitting on my ass.”
I saw her eyes become distant while the contemplation took her attention.
“What’s more important to you? You never did tell me why toxicology is a goal.”
She tried to climb off my lap.
Evasion. Avoidance. I’d seen all the non-verbal cues before—many times.
Not so fast, sweetheart. I held her hips and yanked her back. “Talk to me.”
I saw the mask cover her features.
“Not much to talk about.” She shrugged. “It fascinates me.”
I’d interrogated hardened criminals who broke easier than this. I also recognized half truths when I heard them. I thought about pushing for more; it would be easy to play her and get her to confess.
I tried not to get pissed that she was holding back from me. I had to talk myself down before I let the anger invade, because despite what I was feeling, this was new to both of us. In some ways, it made me respect her more. She was so independent, self-contained. I let her climb off of me, but this conversation was far from over. I’d give her time, but eventually I’d break her.
She was quick to want to rip my Band-Aids off. Watching her finish dressing, I silently vowed I’d return the favor and rip all of hers off just the same.
THE LAST TIME I’d kissed Erin, it was Monday early evening and we were both heading our separate ways to go to work. The fact that she worked most nights like I did was fucking beautiful.
It was something I’d feared—getting involved with another woman who would spend her nights loathing me because I was on the clock.
I sat at my desk in the station, handling paperwork and following tips and leads while watching the nighttime sky turn to dusky pink and then to yellow with the rising sun, but maintaining focus on anything for more than ten minutes was sketchy.
I couldn’t recall ever missing someone so much that it turned into a physical ache.
I was physically aching to see her again.
We’d talked and shot some texts back and forth but I was trying to play it cool and not turn into some lovesick whipping boy. Every fiber inside me wanted to seek her out while the rational part of my thinking told me to chill and give her space. Around midnight on Tuesday I’d lost my hold and almost begged her to meet me at my place after we both got out of work. It didn’t take too much convincing on my part.
I knew it was from the newness of our relationship driving this insurmountable lust but it didn’t matter. As soon as her car was safely locked away in my garage and she was in front of me again, I had her out of her clothes. I had my cock in her by the time we got to my living room, fucking her over the arm of my leather chair. I’d chased her up the stairs soon after that and flipped her around on my bed while pounding in and out of her like a starving lunatic.
And now I was finally at peace, holding her head in the crook of my elbow while enjoying her incredible mouth on mine.
“I missed you,” I confessed. Fuck it, the words just rolled out so I might as well be honest.
She smiled and tangled her fingers in my hair, needing my mouth just as much.
“I missed you, too,” she said softly, sucking on my upper lip.
“I didn’t sleep for shit yesterday,” I added. Fuck, I was turning into a lovesick sap, divulging my weaknesses. No wonder I lost so much money when I played poker with the guys.
Erin nuzzled her face on my shoulder. “I passed out reading Molecular and Biochemical Toxicology.”
Even the words were too much for my brain to take in right now. “Is that like porn for doctors?”
She squeezed me for being a smartass. “Yes. It even has pictures and graphs.”
“Ooh,” I teased, then kissed her forehead for being so smart and perfect.
“You find out anything from your informant?”
“Are we talking shop in bed?”
Erin gripped my bare ass. “Yes, Detective. You’re purging.”
I grinned. “I just purged inside you five minutes ago. You need more purging? Because we can see about bumping you up to a fourth orgasm.”
I felt her smile on my skin. “Will I have to move?”
“Participation is encouraged.”
Erin answered me with laugh that turned into a deep yawn.
I pulled the sheets up over her shoulders. “I think I’ll let you rest.”
<
br /> “You wore me out,” she said, snuggling in deeper. “And you didn’t answer my question.”
“Talked to him yesterday. Got me a lead on a suspect who’s supposedly been boosting cars for Mancuso. We’re going to set up a bait car next week. See if we can lure in a thief.”
“Bait car?”
“Yeah. DEA has a few high end cars that were seized in recent investigations. We’re setting up two of them with tracking and surveillance equipment. It’s really cool. Everything’s computerized. We can control the entire operation remotely, record footage of the driver, even shut the car down and lock him inside with the click of a key. We need to get someone within the organization to work as an informant.”
“You love your job, don’t you?” She grinned.
I pulled her back up to my mouth with my arm. “I do. Very much.”
Erin’s little follow-up kiss on my chest resonated all through me.
“What about your night, Doc?”
She shrugged. “Nothing to talk about,” she murmured.
“Nothing?”
“It would bore you to death and then I’d have to revive you.”
“So you’ve got nothing to share?”
She closed her eyes and let out a sigh. “No.”
Guess she was done purging; too bad the only thing she purged was me.
DECORATIVE VICTORIAN LAMPS hung from the statuesque pillars outside Baylor Funeral Home, illuminating the evening sky with a soft, ethereal glow. It was as if they were trying to soften the dread building in my stomach with a false sense of serenity.
Adam backed his truck into a spot at the edge of the parking lot near a sedan I didn’t recognize, but directly in front of us next to the walkway was my dad’s current dealership car. I stared at the Novak Ford emblem instead of the other apparitions violently swirling about in my thoughts.
I felt Adam’s gaze. “You okay?”
My heart swelled even more, taking in the breathtaking sight of him dressed up in a new suit and tie. I brushed my fingertips over his freshly shaven jaw. His familiar cologne scented the air, wrapping me in a sensually comforting cocoon. I was so glad he was here with me, just like he had promised. “You are so handsome, and you smell really good, too.”
Adam’s smile warmed me. “Glad you like it. I couldn’t decide between Smelly Garbage or Wet Dog. I went with Wet Dog.”
I burst out laughing. “That’s from, from, from Monsters, Inc., right?”
He winked at me. “Figured I’d be meeting your family tonight, so I thought I should smell it up.”
I snorted. “That’s funny, Cop.”
“You know once you name it you’ll start getting attached to it.”
My belly actually started to hurt, but in a good way. “Is that your favorite movie?”
Adam shrugged. “One of them.”
“I love that movie too, although The Incredibles is still my favorite. ‘I never look back, darling, it distracts from the now’.” I took a few sobering breaths after our mutual laugh. “You’re going to meet my family at a viewing. My mother is never going to forgive me.”
He captured my hand and pressed it to his lips. “You worry too much.”
As soon as he released me, he gently nudged my elbow so he could get into his center console. I watched him pluck several tissues out of a box, fold them, and slip them into his suit pocket. The console lid fell back in place with a thud. “Ready?”
My chest felt heavy as I nodded. There was no delaying the inevitable.
Adam held my hand as we ascended the five steps up to the front entryway. I tugged my black skirt into place.
“You look beautiful,” he said, pausing to kiss my cheek before opening the ornate door.
I can do this, I chanted silently, taking his warm hand in mine.
“You lead,” Adam murmured, though he never wavered from my side.
I signed my name in the guest book resting on the podium next to a lavish floral arrangement. The sickly sweet scent from the roses perfumed the air, churning my stomach from their attempts to disguise the smell of embalming fluid. Adam swallowed noticeably when I handed the pen to him. He hesitated, nodded once, and then signed his name under mine.
Even though we were fifteen minutes early, a line had already formed. Several people held conversations; a few hugged and rubbed hands over backs in solidarity. I spotted my sister, Kate, wiping a tear from her eye as she chatted with some friends of the family.
She looked thinner, as though her inner mourning had wilted her somehow. The moment she spotted me, she politely excused herself and rushed over to me. I pulled my sister into my arms, feeling her sadness mirroring my own.
“Oh, E.” She sniffled on my neck.
I squeezed her harder, wishing I could take on her pain, too. My baby sister had endured enough obstacles in her life; she didn’t need any more. “I know, hon.” I swept Kate’s blonde hair back so I wouldn’t cry on it. That’s when I noticed three distinct black and blue marks in a vertical line up her neck.
“What are these? What happened?”
Kate quickly backed away and covered her neck. “Oh, it’s nothing,” she dismissed. “Struggled with ah… an animal… a dog during labs.”
“A dog?”
Kate nodded and scanned the growing line of mourners. “He was a handful. Got me good.”
Her feigned disinterest was what gave her away. I hated pretenses, especially from her. I glanced around, trying to spot her current boyfriend, the one that made me tense up the moment I met him. “Is Prick here with you?”
“Prick?” Adam questioned.
Kate flit her eyes, incensed. “His name is Nick.”
My sister may be brilliant veterinarian in training but she was a lousy actress and a worse liar than I was. “And no, he’s not. He, um, has a paper due. I drove up by myself this morning.”
My sadness turned to angered disappointment hearing that her boyfriend couldn’t adjust his own agenda to support her. I reached for her shoulder. “Kate.”
She brushed me of and fixed her silk scarf so it would cover her neck, and then wiped under her eyes. “I’m serious. Stop looking at me like that. It was a dog. Mom’s been waiting for you to get here. She’s a mess. They had Aunt Karen cremated and put her remains in with Uncle Cal’s body.” She shivered and then became entranced by Adam.
“Kate, this is my… Adam. Adam, my sister, Kate.”
Adam offered his hand and a warm smile. “Nice to meet you, Kate. I’m her Adam.”
Kate smiled shyly, letting her long bangs drop over the scar that ran from her temple to her cheek. Her coping mechanism instantly reminded me of my failures.
“Nice to meet you, Erin’s Adam.” She eyed me speculatively. “I didn’t know you had an Adam, sis.”
I hadn’t told anyone I was dating him; why set false hope? “I just got him a couple of days ago.”
Her eyebrows rose.
I went for distracted levity. “Macy’s was having a sale.”
Adam laughed lightly and recaptured my hand in his.
Kate’s eyes followed his gesture, her smile wavering. “And you didn’t get one for me? Lousy sister.”
“I was the floor model. She got a discount,” Adam joked.
It almost felt sacrilegious to be sharing a small laugh at a funeral.
Kate scanned him from head to toe. I could read her mind as clearly as my own. “I’d say she got quite a bargain. Have Mom and Dad met your Adam yet?”
I shook my head. “Not yet.”
Kate gazed up at him again. “And you’re meeting our parents for the first time at a funeral?”
Adam shrugged and gave me his attention. “Seems so.”
“You wouldn’t happen to have any single brothers, or do I have to run to Macy’s?”
Adam squeezed my fingers. “I’ve got three single brothers, actually.”
“Three?” she said, her voice etched with hope.
I don’t think she was expecting that an
swer. “I can’t let Nick ever know that.” Her hand shook a bit, reaching back up to fuss with her scarf.
I immediately started cataloging her appearance and outward symptoms. I hadn’t seen her in a few months, but she surely would have told Mom if she’d had another seizure. “Have you been feeling okay?”
“Huh? Um, yeah. Yeah,” she stammered and then blanched that I’d even ask.
I caught Adam scrutinizing her too, though I suppose there were detectives ingrained in both of us. I could see our concern was making her uncomfortable. She was retreating into her own protective bubble. I was used to it, as it was a trait we both shared. Adam, however, was surely questioning my sister’s demeanor.
“Mom will want to know you’re here.”
“Maybe we should get in line,” Adam suggested, motioning with his head.
“I’ll see you in there then,” Kate murmured. “It was nice meeting you, Adam.” She quickly leaned in to kiss me on the cheek, barely making eye contact with Adam as she hurried back through the pillared threshold.
Adam was quite cordial and charismatic as we made small talk with the older couple in front of us. It was easier to distract myself that way then to watch my mom sitting front and center across from Uncle Cal’s open casket, weeping.
The burn in my throat was becoming unmanageable.
Adam put his arm around my shoulders and turned me so I was facing the heavy floral draperies instead.
I took a calming breath when I felt his lips press into my forehead.
“Thank you for being here.”
He leaned his ear closer. “Sorry. What?”
I looked into his eyes, hoping with every fiber of my soul that his sweetness wasn’t just a cruel ruse. “Thank you for being here.”
His receptive smile warmed me but then it quickly faltered. “No problem.”
I leaned into him and chewed on my thumbnail, wishing I could disappear into the protectiveness of his broad chest.
Adam shuffled us forward a few steps and pulled my hand from my mouth, holding me firmly by the wrist. “You keep gnawing like that you’re going to make yourself bleed.”
But I was frustrated and bordering on emotional overload. “There’s something fundamentally wrong with how we parade ourselves past the dead like this.”