by Maggie Fox
Matt yawned and reached for a pen as Zane moved his neck from side to side, trying to stop it aching like mad. Of course it didn’t help matters any that he’d fallen asleep on the sofa last night and woke up with an assortment of aches and pains. Still, all of this working almost managed to stop him thinking about Faith. Almost. As if things hadn’t been strained enough between the two of them after the dance, he’d spent Sunday trying to convince himself to get a grip. Faith wasn’t getting involved with Matt again. But he knew how Matt was with women, what a charmer he could be, and he also knew that Matt was in a very vulnerable place right now. A place where he might be tempted to do things he wouldn’t normally do.
Zane had to try and trust Faith. If he didn’t learn to do that, then he would lose her. If, indeed, he hadn’t already lost her. In a break between speakers he’d been chatting to some guests at the festival and had heard how a woman had been brought down from the hill race on a stretcher by the MRT guys. Immediately on alert, he’d pressed the people for a description of the woman. They’d shrugged, saying they hadn’t been able to see much through the crowds. He’d told himself there were plenty of women taking part in the hill race. It didn’t mean the woman had been Faith. Nonetheless, he’d slipped out of the marquee and sprinted towards the First Aid tent, figuring that if he was quick he’d just about have time to see who the woman was before racing back to the tent again to introduce the next speaker.
As he’d neared the tent he’d almost been tripped up by a family with one of those three-wheeler all-terrain pushchairs. When he’d just about managed to keep his balance and stay upright, he’d looked towards the tent and seen them. Matt carrying Faith towards the car park.
His heart had plummeted to his feet. Not just because it was Faith who had been injured, but also because it had been Matt who had rescued her.
He knew it was petty. He should be glad she was back off the mountain and safe. He’d want to make sure she got the best First Aid treatment possible, and he knew Matt could ensure she got exactly that. Matt was extensively trained when it came to First Aid. They both were; it went with the territory. They had to know what they were doing if accidents happened.
Zane had gone into the First Aid tent, questioned the guys on duty, and had been assured that Faith was fine. It was a slight ankle twist, nothing more than that. Then he’d rushed back to the marquee and back to work.
If it had been anyone else he’d seen Faith with, then maybe he could have tried to trust her. But it was Matt, and Matt and Faith had a past together. And this was what was really getting to him.
Within half an hour of seeing Matt and Faith leave the festival Zane had noticed a message on his phone. Stepping to one side behind the stage area in the marquee he’d picked up the voicemail from Matt telling him Faith had twisted her ankle but was OK. That he’d just dropped her at her flat and was on his way back to the festival. Later that night, after the festival, they’d caught up with each other and Matt had asked if he’d spoken to Faith. Zane had said he’d been too busy and had walked away, knowing the kind of look Matt would be giving him at that moment.
He hated himself for doing it. He should have phoned Faith, arranged to go and see her after he’d finished at the festival. But after their little incident in the marquee at the dance, Zane didn’t know what to do for the best. Perhaps, as far as Faith was concerned, things were over between the two of them. Had she had enough of Zane blowing hot and cold in their relationship?
Part of him wanted to tell Faith the truth, all of it, but he knew he couldn’t.
Not yet.
Chapter Seventeen
The next morning at the Centre, the moment Matt saw Zane he had asked how Faith was. When Zane had just said “fine,” Matt had asked if he’d been to see her.
Zane had been forced to admit that he hadn’t. All he’d done was ring her. One brief phone call to say he’d heard about her accident and was sorry. Faith hadn’t been very talkative, and they’d spent five minutes having a strained conversation, mainly talking about the best treatment for Faith’s injured ankle and how long it would take to recover. As he’d clicked his phone off, Zane had genuinely feared that he’d lost her.
And he knew he only had himself to blame. If he’d allowed himself to move on from the past, then he and Faith wouldn’t be in this awful mess.
Later on, as Matt was helping Zane to do some safety checks at the Centre, the door on one of the equipment lockers wouldn’t close properly. Zane kicked it shut with far more force than was necessary.
“So I assume from that little display that you still haven’t been to see Faith. What is going on, Zane? Have you two had a row or something?”
“Forget it, OK?” Zane snapped.
Matt shook his head, moving to stand in front of Zane. “No. I won’t forget it. I’ve seen you guys together these past few weeks. I’ve seen the way you look at each other. Now, she injures her ankle and you haven’t even been to see how she is. Something is obviously wrong. What happened?”
“Just leave it, Matt,” Zane growled, as he began gathering up ropes and climbing equipment. “We’ve still got a lot to get prepared before this next group arrive for their lesson.”
“You do know you’re going to end up losing Faith if you carry on like this, don’t you? Especially if you haven’t told her yet about—”
“Matt.” Zane stopped what he was doing and took a deep breath, briefly closing his eyes.
“Please. Leave it.”
Six hours later Zane locked the door to the activity centre before heading to his car. He’d had a horrible day. Again. Since he’d screwed things up with Faith at the dance, all of his days seemed to be like this. Before turning the ignition key Zane leaned his elbows on the car steering wheel and rested his face in his hands. He knew what he had to do. He had to go and see Faith.
How she reacted would determine what would happen next. Would she give him another chance? And would it be safe to tell her the truth about why he’d rejected her that night? Well, part of the truth, anyway...?
Zane retrieved his phone from his trouser pocket, flipped it open and selected Faith’s number from the call list. Turning up at her doorstep unexpected probably wouldn’t win him any points; he’d better phone her and check if it was OK to call round on his way home.
Fifteen minutes later Zane parked his car on the road at the back of the Coffee Pot. Faith had said he was welcome to call round, which had surprised him in the circumstances. He sat for a few moments, collecting his thoughts. What was he going to say to her? How much was he prepared to tell her?
He still didn’t know the answer to those questions as he knocked on the door to her flat.
“Hi, come in.” Faith smiled politely as she opened the door.
“Thanks. How is the ankle doing now?” he asked, instantly sensing the tension between them.
“Oh, it’s not too bad. Almost completely better. Just a bit achy.”
Zane nodded, standing in her kitchen, his hands in his trouser pockets, feeling awkward. She was wearing green combat trousers and a thin jumper which accentuated her figure and made Zane want to pull her into his arms and just hold her; try to make everything OK. Like he should have done days ago when she’d first hurt herself. He should have been there for her.
“Drink?” Faith asked. “I can do tea, coffee or something stronger.”
“No, nothing, thanks.”
Faith sighed. “Look, Zane. If you’re trying to finish with me, then I’ll make it easy for you. You don’t need to explain anything. If you’re not interested, then—”
In one long stride Zane was next to her, reaching for her hands. “I don’t want to finish with you. I want to try to make things right between us again. I’ve missed you. But after the way I behaved the other night at the dance, I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted nothing more to do with me.”
“What’s going on, Zane?” Faith asked, looking into his eyes. “Why have you been giving me the cold should
er since that night in the marquee? Did I do something to upset you? If it was that stupid business with Matt, I’ve explained, it was nothing, I swear to you.”
Zane stared at the floor. “It’s difficult to explain. I don’t know where to start.”
“Just try. Please.”
“OK.” Zane sighed. “That night in the marquee I was angry and confused.”
“Confused about us? About me? You made it pretty clear you didn’t want me…”
Faith let the words hang in the air.
Zane put a hand under her chin, gently tilting it up so he could look at her. “I did want you, Faith. I wanted you desperately. You have no idea how much it took to walk away from you. The problem was, I was angry about you and about Matt. Confused about where we stood.”
Faith swallowed. “So what are you confused about, Zane? What do we need to sort to be able to move forward? I swear there’s nothing between Matt and me.”
“I know there’s nothing going on now between you two. But when I saw you at the dance together, and then again when you hurt your ankle and I saw him carrying you to the car, I realised something.”
“Realised what? You said you believe there’s nothing between me and Matt.”
Zane pushed a hand through his hair. “Yes, I do believe that. I’m not proud of this, Faith. I know I’m being unreasonable. At this stage in our lives we all have past relationships, but it’s what happened in the past that I’m struggling with. Look, it’s stupid. I should just go.”
“No,” Faith said, reaching for Zane and slipping a hand into his. “Tell me.”
Zane closed his eyes. “I can’t stand the idea of you and Matt. The two of you together. You guys were childhood sweethearts and then went to uni together. I’m sorry, Faith. I know this is crazy.”
“Hang on. So you’re unhappy about what happened in the past with me and Matt?”
“Yes, like I say, it’s stupid. I know, and I’m sorry. He’s a friend and I work with him, we have a long-term business commitment. I really like you Faith. You have no idea how much, but the idea of you and him together. I’m sorry, Faith. I’m struggling to get my head round it much as I try to. I want to forget but…”
Faith reached up, running the back of her hand down his cheek. “We didn’t.”
Zane looked at her. “Didn’t what?”
“Matt and I never slept together. I promise you, Zane. Matt said he was fine with that, but then I found out he was sleeping with a girl on his course. That was when we broke up.”
“Oh.” Zane felt relief flood through him. But at the same time he was furious with Matt for treating her like that. For hurting her.
“Does that change things between us?” she prompted.
Zane nodded. “For me, yes, definitely. I’m sorry. I know this is totally unreasonable of me to behave like this about you two.”
“It’s OK. I understand. It must be a bit strange. You’ve known each other for years, and I can see how it would be awkward. Are we OK now though?”
“Yes. Sorry. I was being childish.”
Faith smiled. “Actually I think you were being really rather sweet in an old-fashioned kind of way.”
“You think so?” Zane raised his eyebrows, surprised.
“I do.”
“And?” Zane asked, kissing her fingers. “Is that a good thing?”
“Absolutely,” Faith grinned.
“So, are you free on Saturday night?”
“Yes. What did you have in mind?
“How about you come round to the cottage? Matt has finally moved into the rental cottage Emily offered him, so we’ll have the place to ourselves. I’ll make us a meal. Then we can relax.”
Faith nodded. “I’d like that.”
As Zane drove home later he couldn’t stop smiling.
Chapter Eighteen
“OK, guys, let’s get going.”
Zane started to lead the group out for the night trek from Carrdale. They had twenty people booked on this, the first of many planned night orienteering treks they were running from the Centre. Everyone was armed with maps showing the details of where to find each of the numbered points on the course. Now they just had to use their brains and their compasses to guide themselves around the course, visiting each of the points in order.
Matt and Zane had set up and done this course themselves. Initially in daylight as they’d worked out the course and fixed the numbered orienteering markers, and then again in the dark so they could test that it all still worked OK and would be safe for their customers.
Zane had split the group roughly into three. Matt would be taking the first group, Dave the second group, and Zane the last one. That was the group that just happened to contain Faith. Knowing how much she loved her trekking, and knowing also how little time she’d had to get out and do any over the past few weeks, Zane had invited Faith along to their inaugural night trek.
As they made their way towards the first marker post on the course, Zane tried to keep his mind centred on the group and not on Faith. Perhaps inviting her along had been a mistake. Whenever she was around he struggled to concentrate on whatever he was supposed to be doing. Yes, he’d struggled with the idea she might have had a serious past with Matt, but that hadn’t been the only reason he’d struggled with taking their relationship further.
In truth, he was scared. Scared of history repeating itself. Scared of her eventually finding out the truth about why he was terrified of getting heavily involved. But now, he knew, he’d gone past the point of no return. He couldn’t hold back from Faith. He had no choice; he had to go ahead with their relationship, and risk whatever consequences it might have.
His group reached the first marker and started to discuss the best route to the next one. He stood back, letting them work it out for themselves. Tonight he was there simply in a supervisory capacity, to ensure everyone’s safety and help them out if they really got stuck. It was down to them to work the course out for themselves as much as possible. Watching Faith and the group as they checked the map, Zane knew they wouldn’t need his help. Faith was checking her compass and saying what she thought was the best way to the next marker. Zane felt inexplicably proud of how quickly she’d worked it all out.
One of the men in the group began to explain his own theory. He was clearly not convinced by Faith’s, and she looked up, seeking Zane’s eyes, looking for him to say if she was right or not. Meeting her gaze he smiled and then slightly nodded his head to confirm that she was right. Her answering smile made him want to tell the rest of the group to sort things out for themselves, grab her hand and lead her off into the woods for something far more exciting than a night trek.
Stop it, he told himself. You’ll just have to keep your hormones under control.
Knowing she was correct, Zane watched as Faith asserted her theory about the best way to the next marker post once again. The group decided to go with her suggestion.
At just after ten o’clock the group arrived back at the Centre and headed for the rec room where tea, coffee, cakes and biscuits were waiting for them. After making sure everyone had drinks, snacks and was happy, Zane made his way over to Faith who was nursing a mug of hot chocolate in the corner of the room.
“You were very impressive out there tonight,” he said, wanting to kiss her but thinking it was probably best if he didn’t. Not here. Not now, when he was, technically, still at work. No, he’d save that kiss for later.
“It was all down to team work.”
“Yeah, right.” Zane leaned forward to whisper in her ear so none of the other people in the room could hear. “We both know that’s not true. You were brilliant. I love a woman who knows how to use a compass properly. And, in case you’re wondering, that’s not a euphemism.”
Faith laughed. “Look, I know you’re flat out running the café. But if you ever fancy a bit of part-time work at the Centre, helping us out with leading treks or orienteering groups, just say the word. I know you’ve already got all your Fi
rst Aid training and that side of things covered, due to your work at the café, and you already know what you’re doing out there with compasses and maps and all that stuff. I’m qualified to take you through basic level outdoor activity leadership training, and the necessary health and safety stuff, then you’d be good to go.”
“Seriously?” Faith asked before drinking the last of her hot chocolate.
Zane nodded. “Seriously. You’re more than capable. Any time, just say the word.”
“If I did some part-time work at the Centre,” Faith mused, looking him in the eye, leaning slightly closer to him, “that would make you my boss.”
“And would that be a problem?” He knew she was flirting with him. And he was loving every second of it.
She held his gaze and a smile flickered around her lips. “That depends what the Centre’s policies and rules are on getting involved with employees.”
Zane swallowed and looked away. How much did he dare do and say in a rec room full of Carrdale customers when he was supposed to be working? Pretending that he was leaning past her to put his mug on the table, he quickly slipped one hand around her waist and leaned in close enough to kiss her on the neck. “I’d create my own set of rules for you,” he whispered.
Chapter Nineteen
“I don’t know if it’s how he normally is or not. He seems thoughtful and kind, and thankfully he hasn’t got a death-wish either when it comes to climbing and adventure sports. OK, he loves climbing, but not the whole throw-yourself-off-a-bridge-bungee-jumping stuff. He’s not an adrenaline junkie like Matt.”