by Maggie Fox
Zane heard muted talking in the background. “What was that about?” he asked, in need of a change of subject.
“Just James saying dinner is almost ready. He says hi to you.”
“Tell him I said hi back. I’d best let you go and get your dinner. I’ll try to get away and come and see you guys soon OK?”
“You’d better!”
In a serious tone Becca added, “Zane, for me, please, talk to Faith. Tell her everything. Trust her. Give her that chance. I think she could be the one for you.”
“I’ll think about it.”
Zane turned his phone off and left it in the kitchen. Talking to Becca had helped a little. She was right, as was usually the case. She’d thought Faith could well be the one for him. He’d thought so too, for a while – before he’d let the past crowd his mind and let Matt give him a reason to call it quits with her.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Zane took a deep breath and opened the door to the café. It was the night of the Tourism Association meeting about the Christmas season, and (much against his will) he had to attend. He’d known he couldn’t send one of the lads from the Centre to something like this; it was way outside their job descriptions, and, for several reasons, he hadn’t wanted to ask Matt to attend either.
Things were still strained between the two of them. Matt wasn’t coping very well with events in his life, and, despite part of him wanting to be his friend, to be the person who could help him cope, Zane couldn’t find it in himself to be that person for Matt right now. He was still too angry with him.
That, plus the fact that Matt had taken Faith out. He knew about their evening in Darlstone. Did they really think that by driving over there they wouldn’t be seen? Then again, he knew he couldn’t lay all the blame on Matt for the end of things with Faith.
He could have behaved sensibly about all this. He could have gone and talked to Faith and explained why he’d behaved the way he had. But he’d probably left it all too late now anyway. Faith had kept her distance since they’d last spoken in the office at the Centre, and he couldn’t blame her. But now, the fact that he missed her so much was starting to make him wonder if there was any possibility that he might get his head around things after all.
Maybe he could allow himself to believe they had a chance at a future together. But first he’d have to try to forget about the past. Then he’d have to force himself to face up to his fears. After all of that, he’d still have to explain everything to Faith and try to convince her to get involved with him again. Was doing all of that a better or worse prospect than being without her and facing a safe but boring future alone?
With each passing day he felt as though he was getting closer to answering that question. He still loved Faith. He still wanted to be with her. If only it was that simple. Even if he did manage to convince himself that he was prepared to open himself up to a relationship with her again, what guarantee did he have that Faith was prepared to do the same for him? Right now she probably hated him.
The idea of that made him feel as though someone had just punched him in the stomach. He didn’t want Faith to hate him. He wanted her to love him. But whether or not he would ever be lucky enough to get to experience her love again, would depend on two things: whether she wanted to love him again (especially once she knew the truth), and whether he would allow himself to be loved.
The café was pretty full; obviously the Christmas season meeting was a popular one. Zane made his way over to the table at the back of the room where refreshments had been laid out. Part of him still wanted to avoid seeing Faith.
But fate had different ideas. Just as he helped himself to a coffee and turned to find a seat at the back of the room, he practically split his drink all over her.
“Oh, sorry,” he managed to say, feeling like an awkward teenager.
“It’s OK,” she replied, looking about as awkward as he felt.
Was this what they were reduced to? They had been amazing together, and now… Now what, exactly?
“I was just going to find a seat,” he said.
Wow, Zane. Good attempt at sparkling conversation.
“Good idea. I think the meeting is about to start.”
“There’s a lot of people here tonight.”
Zane had resolved to keep his distance, but he could feel that resolve softening. Faith still had an effect on him. Just as she’d always done, ever since the first day he’d met her. That was here, in this very café, at another Tourism Association meeting very similar to this one. Now, that felt as though it had been a million years ago. Back then he’d felt drawn to her, and that connection was clearly still there, no matter how hard he tried to deny it.
What was he going to do about it? What could he do about it? Did she also still feel the connection between them?
The group around them at the refreshment table jostled for cakes and coffee as people began to get ready for the start of the meeting. Someone bumped into Faith as the crowd tried to reach the table, and she stumbled.
Instinctively Zane steadied her. Their eyes met, his hand lingering on her arm a fraction too long. He got his answer: Yes, she did.
The spark jolted through him and from the look in her eyes he knew she felt it too. All he wanted to do was forget about his doubts, his fears and his confusion, and grab her hand, get out of the café, go somewhere they could be alone, pin her up against the wall and kiss her in such a way that she was left in no doubt how he felt about her.
“I think the meeting is about to start,” she said again, looking away. The spell was broken.
The meeting droned on for almost two hours. Zane made copious notes about what activities happened and when, the Christmas lights switch-on ceremony, and the various entertainments planned for tourists during the month leading up to Christmas itself. The Centre did need to be aware of what promotions were happening and when, but the notes were mainly, if he was honest with himself, an exercise in distracting himself from looking at Faith.
She was leading the meeting, dressed tonight in jeans tucked into brown knee-high boots and a red jumper skimming her hips. Her hair was tied back in a simple ponytail. Each time he looked at her his heart pounded. He knew he was still in love with her. What he didn’t know was what, if anything, he could do about it.
What had she been doing in Darlstone with Matt that night? They weren’t involved, were they?
No, they couldn’t be.
Could they?
As soon as the meeting was officially closed, Zane got to his feet and headed for the door. He didn’t want to mingle with everyone, chat, eat more cake, drink more coffee, as usually happened after the meetings. He couldn’t stand being in a room with Faith a moment longer; he had to get out. He didn’t trust himself. He might end up saying something he’d regret. He also hated being in a room with her and knowing he wasn’t with her any longer, as part of a couple. He couldn’t stand that he wasn’t able to slip his arms around her any more or sneak a kiss with her in the kitchen.
But what he couldn’t stand most of all was that, of course, it was all his own doing.
Even if he plucked up the courage to see if there was any chance of him and Faith getting back together, how would he explain things to her?
Despite his best intentions, he couldn’t get out of the café for people wanting to stop and chat to him. Everyone in Carleton was so friendly. Sometimes he loved it, at other times he found it claustrophobic and frustrating. Like now. As the guy who ran the newsagents droned on about the importance of the Christmas festival to the village, Zane half-listened, nodding here and there as was expected of him, but his eyes and his concentration were on Faith. A man he’d never seen before was chatting with her, had cornered her by the buffet table. Zane watched as the man touched her arm. Faith smiled up at the guy. Who the hell was he?
“Who’s that with Faith?” he asked the guy from the newsagents.
He turned to look. “His name’s Andy. He’s the new sous-chef up at the
Royal.”
Zane watched as the guy took a step out of the way of someone trying to get to the buffet table and, as he did so, casually slipped a hand to Faith’s waist.
For a second Zane forced himself to look away. What Faith did now was none of his business. He looked back at the two of them. If the guy got any closer to Faith you wouldn’t have been able to fit one of the café’s laminated menus between the pair of them. At that moment Faith looked over and their eyes met. He couldn’t help himself. He was going to rescue her, whether she wanted him to or not.
“Excuse me,” he said to Mr. Newsagent. “Got to go.”
In two seconds he was by Faith’s side. The sous-chef took a step back, looking surprised.
Zane reached for Faith’s hand, glaring at the guy. “Faith, I want to talk to you.”
Sophie was in the kitchen when they walked in. She took one look at the two of them and made her escape, closing the kitchen door behind her.
“What is going on with you, Zane?” Faith shouted as soon as the door closed. “The other day you made it pretty clear you didn’t want to talk to me, now you storm over and almost drag me off to the kitchen.”
Zane waved a hand in the direction of the café. “That guy practically had his hands all over you!”
“So what if he did? It’s none of your business any more. You were the one who ended things between us, remember?”
He turned away and shoved his hands in his pockets, trying to calm down. She was right. Technically it wasn’t any of his business. But he couldn’t let go. “So, did you enjoy your trip to the pictures with Matt?”
“Oh.”
He thought she looked surprised. “Surely you didn’t think I wouldn’t find out?”
Faith chewed on a fingernail. He’d never seen her do that before. “Did Matt tell you?”
Zane shook his head, leaning back against the counter top. “Nope. Apparently somebody saw the two of you leaving the cinema, and word got around in the village. I have to say I’m very surprised. I didn’t think that was your style.”
“We’re friends. That’s all.”
“Yeah, right. You’re not naïve, Faith. You know how he is. Like I said, in the circumstances, I’m surprised you’re contemplating getting involved with him.”
“Why?” Faith snapped. “Because he’s your friend, your business partner?”
Zane shook his head.
“No,” he said, his voice cold. “Because he’s married.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
“What?” Faith gasped. “Why didn’t you ever tell me before? I can’t believe he’s married. Where’s his wife?”
Immediately, Zane wondered if he should have told her.
Correction. He knew he shouldn’t have told her. He should have kept his mouth shut. He’d sworn to Matt that he wouldn’t say anything about his marriage.
Then again, Matt hadn’t exactly been model friend material lately, had he? The way he’d behaved with Faith: flirting with her, hitting on her, inviting her to the pictures – and, no doubt, also trying to get her into bed.
“Karolina is back in Austria,” he replied. “They got married two years ago. I was their best man.”
Faith shook her head, still looking astonished. Zane watched her as she tried to take it all in. Tried to make sense of what he’d just told her.
“I never told you before because I was sworn to secrecy,” he explained. “Matt didn’t want anyone to know.”
“Why not? Why is she still in Austria and he’s over here? If he’s married why is he dating Emily?”
“And why,” Zane added, “is he inviting you on a night out?”
Faith shot him a look. “I don’t understand.”
“They’re separated. When I first arrived in Carleton, I told you that Matt was still in Austria sorting a few things out. One of those things was his marriage. But when it came to signing the papers to start divorce proceedings, they decided not to go through with it. They’re having a trial separation, six months or so, then seeing how they feel about each other after that. Which is why he wanted to keep it a secret. Matt figured that if people knew he was still married, he’d never be able to live the single life, date, do what he wanted, and see how he really felt.”
“Does Emily know he’s married?”
Zane shrugged. “I don’t know for definite, but I doubt it.”
Faith eyed him suspiciously. “And yet you weren’t tempted to tell her?”
“No. It’s none of my business.” Zane shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “It’s up to Matt to tell her, if he wants her to know.”
“Yet you’re telling me, even though you were sworn to secrecy. Why?”
Zane sighed. “I don’t care what Emily gets up to. But I do care what you do.”
Faith pulled a stool out from under the worktop and sat down. “What happened for them to split up? Matt didn’t cheat on her, did he?”
Zane shook his head. “No. Karo cheated on him. She’s an even bigger flirt than he is. Miraculously, for the first time in all the years I’ve known him, Matt behaved himself. He was totally besotted with Karo. He stopped flirting, but unfortunately she didn’t. They argued about it all the time. Then he found out she was sleeping with the American chef at her family’s hotel in Austria.”
Faith lifted a hand to her mouth in shock. “Poor Matt.”
“Yeah, he was devastated. I’ve never seen him so messed up. He still loves her.”
“But if he still loves his wife, why is he sleeping with Emily?”
“It’s Matt’s way of dealing with it all.”
“I’m stunned.” Faith looked him in the eye. “I just can’t believe it.”
“I don’t want you dragged into all this mess that’s going on in his life right now,” Zane said. “The games he’s been playing, saying stuff, causing trouble. Asking you out. You deserve better than that.”
Faith frowned. “Saying what sort of stuff?”
“Nothing. You don’t need to know the details.”
Faith got off the stool and walked towards Zane. “Has he been saying stuff about me? Stuff about me and him?”
“Forget it. I can handle Matt. I know how he thinks. How he operates. There’s nothing for you to worry about.”
Zane swallowed and hoped she wouldn’t come any closer to him. If she did, all his resolve might go out the window. He’d come this far, managed to resist trying to get back with her. Taking her away from the clutches of the chef guy tonight and telling her about Matt, he’d only done those things to protect her, not because he wanted her back. He told himself that yet again, trying to make himself believe it.
She rested a hand on his arm.
A voice in his head said, who are you trying to kid? You do want her back. You want her right now.
“Zane…”
He looked at her and she smiled. It was a tentative smile. As though she was testing the ground between the two of them. It had been too long since he’d been on the receiving end of one of her smiles. He wanted to touch her. Kiss her. Put the bolt on the door to the café and remind her how good they were together, right here, amongst the pots and pans in the kitchen.
“Zane?”
He pushed the thoughts from his mind and tried to concentrate on what she was saying.
“All the staff at Carrdale will be at the big Christmas light switch-on, won’t they? You guys have contributed so much, financially and in terms of time, the Tourism Association insist you’re all there on the night.”
Her hand was still on his arm.
Right now, he would agree to anything to try to get her back. It looked as though he had the answer to his question. Yes, she was worth facing up to his fears for.
He nodded. “We’ll be there.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
“So what happened after I left?”
Faith leaned back on the sofa, mug of tea in hand. “We talked.”
“About what?” Sophie asked.
“Sorry, I can’t say anything about most of it. It’s confidential. Anyway, he obviously wasn’t happy when he saw me talking to Andy. He also wasn’t happy about me going to the pictures with Matt.”
“I think we all saw that one coming. You know you only went out with Matt to annoy Zane. You never did tell me what happened that night with you and Matt. You didn’t sleep with him did you? I mean, I know Matt is pretty yummy, and you were really mad at Zane, but even so, it wouldn’t have been like you to—”
“Of course I didn’t sleep with Matt. We understand each other. We both think the world of Zane. Even if we did still fancy each other like crazy, we wouldn’t get involved.”
“Because of you and Zane?”
Faith nodded. “Because of me and Zane.”
She wouldn’t tell Sophie about Matt being married. She’d promised Zane she wouldn’t say anything.
It had been a long and very busy day in the café. The Christmas season was fast approaching, and in a few days’ time the lights on all the individual trees outside the shops, pubs and cafés throughout Carleton, along with the twenty-foot-high tree in the centre of the village, would be switched on at the grand ceremony which officially launched the festivities.
“But I don’t get what’s going on here,” Sophie went on. “Zane was watching you pretty much the whole time throughout the meeting. I kept an eye on him. He’s obviously still crazy about you. You spoke earlier as well, before the meeting didn’t you?”
“Kind of. We literally bumped into each other at the buffet table.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“What did he say then?” Sophie asked.
“We just talked about the meeting. And…” Faith paused, trying to think back to the previous night. Had she been mistaken? Had there really still been a spark when he’d put his hand on her arm? When they’d looked into each other’s eyes?
“And what?” Sophie asked impatiently. “Don’t keep me in suspense!”
“Well, I just thought, there might still be something there. I got jostled in the rush for the hot sausage rolls and he put a hand out to steady me, and it was like this jolt of electricity between us. Silly really. I probably imagined it.”