“Last I knew, you were living in this house, and Dixie was coming over to watch the kids most days while you were at work. Is that still true?”
“It was until Thanksgiving. She came to my parents’ house for dinner at my request. I’m not sure why she agreed. I mean, her mom’s out of town, and my sister’s always been kind to Dixie, but I thought she’d turn me down. Stupid me. I thought it meant something when she came.”
Sadie nodded. “So, what happened?”
“Logan and I were talking outside, and she overheard me tell him Jacob told me I shouldn’t marry her. That two wrongs don’t make a right.” Dan scrubbed his hands through his hair. “He’s got a point, I guess.”
“What was her response?”
He shook his head. “I told her I loved her and asked her to marry me, for probably the twentieth time. I don’t care what Jacob says. Dixie’s the mother of my son, and I want a whole family.”
“And then?”
“She told me I couldn’t love her, and I said she couldn’t stop me.” He closed his eyes, remembering. “She said she bet she could. And then she left me on the porch and drove away. I didn’t realize she’d taken Mandy for probably fifteen or twenty minutes. I thought she was in the other room playing with the boys.”
“Oh, no. Is Mandy okay?”
“Dixie thought better of her decision and left Mandy here at the house. Made her a sandwich and locked her in. Then took off again, on her own. Her car’s not at her mom’s, and she’s not answering my calls. She’s replied to a couple of texts.”
Sadie closed her eyes. “Poor kid. Mandy must be devastated.”
“She is. All she wants is her mom. Meanwhile, she’ll barely let go of me.”
“Guess she’s afraid you’ll disappear, too.” Sympathy laced Peter’s voice.
“It might be what’s going through her mind. Seems the only way to convince her is to be here for her.”
Peter’s eyebrows rose. “Twenty-four seven?”
“I know. I can’t do that and run a business. That’s another big problem, but it’s not something you can help me with. I hadn’t thought about the fact that I get up at two or three in the morning when there’s been a snowfall so I can get driveways and parking lots cleared before business hours begin. That was no big deal when Dixie and I were together. She was here when the kids woke up. It all worked. Now I need someone who lives in.” He gave a sharp laugh. “Obviously not her or another woman.”
Peter cringed. “Yeah. I can see that’s a big problem. Good thing Thursday night’s snow turned into rain and didn’t accumulate.”
“Right, but the forecast calls for snowfall by next weekend, so I need a solution soon. It just completely spaced my mind how Dixie’s and my separation — and the kids living with me — would affect a once-minor thing like that.” Dan gave his head a quick shake. “Anyway, that’s not your problem, and nothing I shouldn’t have seen coming.”
“Is it time for you to file for custody?” Sadie asked quietly.
Man, he did not want to go here. He stared at the attorney. “It feels like I’m giving up on Dixie.”
She met his gaze but said nothing.
“I guess... I guess I am giving up. I can’t keep living like this. Not just me, but the kids. It’s so hard on them. This thing with Mandy — it just kills me to see how sad she is.”
Sadie nodded. “Okay. Here’s what we’re going to do...”
9
Beggars can’t be choosers.
Dixie shoved aside thoughts of leisurely days playing with her kids as she tugged the way-too-short uniform over her backside. She couldn’t mooch off Tanisha indefinitely.
Just be thankful Kristoff needs a barmaid again. Don’t think about the leering drunks.
Since when? She’d enjoyed working here before, hadn’t she? Why did the thought of the upcoming shift make her so uncomfortable now? She could handle the men. Contrary to what it looked like — three kids with three different partners — she’d only said yes when she felt like it. No dude would get past her defenses tonight, either, or any night she had to work in this godforsaken job.
Hand holding her mascara wand, she stared at herself in the mirror. Godforsaken? Didn’t that mean there was a God somewhere with places He frequented? Like church, maybe. But Dan had talked about God being everywhere and seeing everything. Loving everyone.
Dan had rocks in his head. God didn’t hang out at Kristoff’s, that was for sure. Dan didn’t, either. Not anymore. Between taking over the family business and then finding Jesus, Dan had turned into an even better version of himself. There was no chance he’d show up in the bar while she was working.
No, he was home with three little kids tucked into bed. Probably had some music on. Maybe watching a documentary on Netflix or doing paperwork for the company. Dan, the responsible adult.
Well, Dixie was responsible, too. That’s why she’d landed herself a job. Dan had rescued her from all this a couple of years ago, but he’d changed, and she’d pushed him past the breaking point.
She tucked the makeup bag away and gave herself a big smile in the mirror. It looked a little fake, but it was the best she could muster at the moment.
Time to work.
Three kids strapped into their car seats at the curb, Dan strode up the walkway to his landlady’s house, check in hand. He rang the doorbell and kept an eye on the truck while he waited.
The door swung open, and Marietta Santoro stood before him. The neighborhood matriarch must be pushing eighty, if she wasn’t already there, but she stood plump and erect, her gaze flicking from the truck to him. “Danilo.”
“I’ve brought my rent check, Mrs. Santoro.” If only she’d be willing to accept an e-transfer, but no.
“Grazie.” She accepted the paper from his hand. “How are the little ones?”
“Uh, good. Everything’s good.” He probably shouldn’t lie to the woman, but he couldn’t go into all the details with every random person he ran into.
“I hear Dixie has disappeared, no?”
So, Marietta already knew. “She has.”
She stepped back and beckoned. “I have coffee. Cookies for the children. Bring them in.”
Dan hesitated. Did he have time for this? He had more phone calls to make in his desperate search to find a male overnight sitter. Spokane had gotten by with a few mild snow skirmishes, but that was about to change, and Dan needed that sitter in place.
“Come.”
“Okay. Thank you.” Ten minutes wouldn’t make that much difference. He jogged down to the truck and unbuckled Henry. “Come on, you guys. Mrs. Santoro has cookies for you.”
Buddy’s face brightened, and Mandy did a wiggly dance as she unbuckled her booster. “I like Tieri’s bisnonna.”
Dan hadn’t realized the kids had anything to do with Marietta when he wasn’t around. Did that account for the woman’s knowledge about Dixie? Maybe, but in a close-knit community like Bridgeview, the news had likely spread like wildfire.
He ushered the kids into Marietta’s Mediterranean-style home with its rounded stucco arches then set Henry down and bent to unzip his parka. “You kids behave, you hear?” he said in a low voice. “And say thank you.”
Mandy nodded. Buddy kicked off his boots, showing no sign of hearing.
Dan grasped the four-year-old’s shoulder. “Buddy?”
“I be good.”
That would have to do. They followed Marietta over large terra cotta pavers into the huge kitchen at the back of the house, with its creamy cabinetry and warm granite counters. Dan pointed the kids at wrought-iron stools beside the island, and they obediently climbed up.
Marietta opened a cookie jar shaped like a round chef, complete with handlebar mustache, and moved a handful of cookies to a plate. “Here, eat.” She set the plate between Mandy and Buddy.
Buddy’s eyes grew round as he grabbed a treat with each hand. When had the kid last met homemade cookies? Dan had no clue.
“Grazie
, la bisnonna,” Mandy said primly.
Dan stared at her, trying to translate. Thank you, great-grandmother? Since when could his kid speak any Italian? Huh. Must be Fran’s doing.
Marietta smiled and patted Mandy’s hair.
Well, maybe the child had paved the way to a pleasant visit. Dan had a hard time forgetting that Marietta had been reluctant to rent out one of her houses to a common-law couple. Only her son Ray’s encouragement had made her agree in the first place.
She poured two coffees and beckoned at the nearby table. “Come. Sit.”
Still holding Henry, Dan did as he was told.
Marietta poured milk for the kids then brought cookies to the table before taking a seat herself. “Now you tell me how it is with you.”
Dan hesitated. How could an old woman like her help him? Wasn’t she doing more than her share by allowing him and the kids to have a home? But she did know everyone in the community, and she certainly knew how to pray.
He took a sip of deep, rich coffee then met his landlady’s dark eyes. “I have a problem.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Si?”
“We’re going to get snow soon, and that means plowing in the early morning hours. If I can’t find an overnight sitter — male, obviously — I’ll have to hire all the plowing out or cancel contracts.” What could he do over the winter for income if he canceled contracts? When Dixie returned and married him, how would he get the work back? If she did. He sighed.
Marietta nodded. “You have three bedrooms.”
Of course, she knew. It was her house. “I’d have to let the sitter sleep in my room, I guess. Means the sofa for me, but there’s not much way around that.”
“Unless you move the children together.”
Hmm. Dan glanced over at Mandy and Buddy, who’d packed away most of the cookies on the plate. He and Dixie had separated the wooden bunk when they’d moved into this house. Would it be okay to put them back together? There’d be room in the boys’ room for Mandy that way.
She’d hate it. Or would she?
Then her room could go to the sitter. The sitter he still needed to find. “That’s an idea.”
“Have you met Antonio? He is the son of my son Matteo, who lives in Idaho, but Antonio comes to Bridgeview to open an Italian restaurant. My sons say Antonio should live with me for now.” She grimaced. “They think I cannot live alone anymore, but they are wrong. Maybe he could live with you.”
“Antonio?” Dan wracked his brain, trying to remember every Santoro he’d met. There were a lot of them. He knew Peter, Alex, and Basil the best. Dan had even lived in Alex’s basement suite when he and Dixie first separated. But he couldn’t place Antonio. “Wouldn’t your grandson want to stay with his cousins?”
Marietta swept her hand. “Alex rented out his suite to college students. Besides, my family is convinced Antonio should stay with me.” She narrowed her gaze at Dan. “You would do me a great favor to give him a place to live. My sons would surely see you need him more than I do.”
Conniving old woman. Dan couldn’t stop his chuckle. “Tell me more about him.”
“He comes tomorrow from Arcadia Valley. He’s been working at his mother’s brother’s restaurant there for a couple of years, but his uncle Franco has found him a building to renovate here for his own restaurant. He is a fine cuoco — chef — with much training and experience for a young man of twenty-seven years.”
Dan’s mind raced. Could he offer a stranger not a babysitting job, but a home, even temporarily? But if the man’s grandmother vouched for him, a guy with this much ambition, it might buy Dan some time. “I’d like to meet him.”
“Bueno. I will send him over when he arrives. My sons cannot fault this arrangement.” Marietta nodded decisively. “Have a cookie.”
Dixie stared at her ringing phone. An unknown number, so it wasn’t Dan. With the number of resumés she had out, she couldn’t afford not to answer. “Hello, Dixie speaking.”
“Dixie! I’m so glad I reached you.”
No way. She should’ve at least scanned the area code. “Hi, Linnea.”
“How are you, sweetie? We’ve been so worried.”
“I’m fine. Thanks.”
“Have you been in touch with Dan?”
Dixie’s jaw clenched as she stared out the smudged window, the only view that of the equally dilapidated high-rise across the street. “Not exactly.” Dan texted her every day with a story about the kids, or telling her he missed her. She’d answered a couple of times, but she’d rather he didn’t expect a response to his every summons.
“Aw, he misses you.”
“Look, Linnea—”
“I know it’s not really any of my business, but I love my brother, and I adore the kids.”
Dixie made a mental note of who was not included in that list.
“And I really care about you, too. I feel terrible that we weren’t able to stay in Spokane longer last weekend, because I wanted to spend some time with you, but with that storm coming in, Logan wanted to get back.”
Not that Dixie would have accepted a cozy chat. Although... in times past, she’d begun to warm to Dan’s sister. She was a sweet woman. But, hey, another Christian. “I’ve been busy.”
Linnea laughed. “That’s great! Sounds like you’ve landed on your feet, then.”
Whatever that meant. “Well, I found a job.” Drat. Dixie zipped her lips. If she told Linnea where, she’d tell Dan, and then he’d show up at the bar, all caveman, to haul her away.
In some ways, she wouldn’t mind. Where once she’d flirted right back at the customers, she couldn’t quite bring herself to do it now. She shifted away from their familiar touches. And, yes, her tips suffered from it.
“Good for you. Where are you working?”
“Look, if Dan put you up to this—”
“Oh, no. Of course not.”
Right. Dixie doubted that. “I’m fine, okay? You don’t need to worry about me. Dan and the kids are better off without me.”
“Oh, sweetie, is that what you’re telling yourself? They’re not, you know. Dan says Mandy cries herself to sleep every night, begging for her mama.”
Guilt stabbed Dixie, a shaft deep in the heart. “I can’t be the mother she needs. I just can’t.” Somehow, the pain had bubbled out in her voice.
“I’m sure praying for you, Dixie. God wants you to come home. I don’t mean to Dan — although maybe that, too — but it’s really God you’re running from. That reminds me of a story in the Bible—”
A sharp laugh came out of Dixie’s mouth. “I live far enough inland I don’t need to worry about some whale getting me.”
“What?” Linnea chuckled. “Oh, you’re thinking of Jonah. I meant the prodigal son. It’s a story Jesus told in the book of Luke, about a man who took his inheritance and squandered it all until he was destitute and hungry. Then he remembered his father loved him and would welcome—”
“Nice story,” Dixie cut in. “My mother’s a little less forgiving, and Dan owes me nothing. Listen, I have to go. Thanks for calling.” She tapped the screen to end the call.
She should’ve known Linnea was only looking for a way to preach at her. Everyone was so judgmental, so certain they knew what was best for her. Well, they didn’t. Linnea hadn’t lived her life, hadn’t made the decisions Dixie had. She’d made plenty of bad choices besides the ones that had resulted in three small humans.
Dixie’s heart ached. She would never have believed she could miss those kids this much. It had only been a week since she’d last seen them. Henry with his wispy baby curls and sweet babbling. Buddy with his exuberant giggles and more energy than should be legal. Mandy, sobbing as Dixie hardened her heart and locked her in the house.
Even knowing Dan would be there in minutes, she shouldn’t have done that. She knew it now. She’d known it then, too, but her anger had compelled her. The nerve of their neighbor telling Dan marrying Dixie was wrong.
Not that she wanted to marr
y him.
Well, yes, she did. She ached for him. Not just his tender kisses, but the reality of being a family. Why was she so stubborn? Why couldn’t she just give in and marry the guy? He hadn’t even demanded she love God or go to church. He’d take her as she was.
She wasn’t good enough for him, though. Not good enough to be a wife or a mother. She’d made such a mess of everything.
Dixie thought again of wild horses being driven toward a corral. She could almost hear the gate creaking and the latch clanging. What would happen when she was truly cornered?
Linnea had mentioned the prodigal son. It sounded vaguely familiar, like Dixie had heard the story somewhere before. What made that guy change his direction and go home?
She thumbed open her phone and searched. The story popped up. Yikes, the guy had resorted to eating pig slop. That was a whole lot worse than dumpster diving, and Dixie hadn’t even had to do that yet. Not this time around, thanks to Tanisha and Kristoff.
Dixie kept reading. Then she got to the bit where the father said, ‘Let’s prepare a great feast and celebrate. For this beloved son of mine was once dead, but now he’s alive again. Once he was lost, but now he is found!’ She stared at the words before reading a little further. And everyone celebrated with overflowing joy.
Well, wasn’t that beautiful? A touching moment that got her right in the feels? The story even caused a few tears to gather in her eyes.
She didn’t have a father like that, one who’d love her unconditionally. She’d only met the man who’d sired her a couple of times, years ago. He definitely hadn’t been the staying kind.
Dan would be, if she only let him. She knew that, but she also knew Dan wasn’t enough.
And everyone celebrated with overflowing joy.
If only it were real, and not a fairy tale.
10
The doorbell rang, and Buddy raced to the door, sliding on his sock feet. “Mama here!”
Dan’s heart clenched. “Remember what I said. Only a grownup may open the door.” He strode into the entry.
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