by Jane Harper
‘Then he’s lying.’
‘Mum –’ Kieran blinked. ‘Are you serious? Why would he make this up?’
Verity was attempting to get a resistant and sleepy Brian to his feet. ‘I have no idea why, Kieran. Although –’ She gave Brian a tiny shove of frustration. ‘I am quite curious to know why you’ve decided now is a good time to rewrite history.’
Kieran stared at her. ‘That’s not what I’m doing.’
‘No? Going to the station specifically to ask leading questions about things that happened years ago? About Finn and his boat and what time he was on the water and all kinds of rubbish –’
‘I –’
‘Because it sounds like classic deflection –’
‘Bullshit. Mum, that’s not –’
‘Not what?’ Verity pulled at Brian’s arm, her voice trembling with the effort to control it. ‘Not an attempt to channel blame away from yourself and onto your late brother? I’d be very interested, Kieran, to explore what has triggered this –’
‘That’s not what he’s doing, Verity –’ Mia was cut off with a sharp look.
‘You stay out of this, Mia. This is family business –’
‘Hey, don’t speak to her like that.’
‘She is not part of this,’ Verity snapped. She paused, her hands still on an unwilling Brian, then flicked her eyes back to Mia. ‘Or are you? Is it you who’s been encouraging all this? Stirring up trouble with some story about Finn and that girl’s bag? Because it’s always struck me as pretty lucky for you, Mia, that my husband came along when he did to take the heat. Otherwise the last person to see that girl alive was you.’
‘Hey! Watch it. This has nothing to do with her.’ Kieran was on his feet now. Mia didn’t move. ‘This is about me. I wanted to ask Renn. Because I wanted to know –’
‘What?’ Verity had given up on Brian, leaving him sprawled on his towel. She was staring at Kieran. ‘What was so important that you just had to know?’
‘I wanted to know if it was true that Finn and Toby were out on the water already. Mum? You get that, don’t you? I needed to know if the accident was my fault.’
Verity was very still, breathing in and out through her nose. ‘What does that matter now? It was so long ago. Finn’s dead. I have accepted that. Nothing can –’
‘It matters to me,’ Kieran said. ‘Of course it matters to me. It should matter to you too.’
‘Finn’s not here. That’s all that matters to me. Blame is not healthy or productive.’
‘Yeah.’ Kieran gave a hard laugh. ‘I realise that. I’m not sure you do, though.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘You think somehow I’m too blind or stupid to see what this has done to you? Both you and Dad? That I don’t feel what you feel about Finn being gone? That I don’t think about him all the time? That I don’t look at Audrey and have at least some idea what you’ve been through? That I don’t regret what happened every day?’ Kieran almost laughed. ‘Do you think I haven’t noticed that you and I can’t have a straight conversation where you don’t try to pretend that everything is fine?’ Kieran could feel the blood pounding in his ears as he looked at his mother. ‘Not very convincingly, by the way.’
He felt Mia touch his arm but ignored it.
‘I know how hard it was losing Finn, Mum. I get that. I really do. You can admit it.’ Kieran could hear himself pleading. ‘Please. I –’
‘All right.’ She stopped him short. ‘All right. You want to know how I really feel about all this?’ Verity straightened. ‘I feel that trying to accuse your brother of something, when he’s no longer here to defend himself, is despicable. Finn is dead. You’re the one who is still here, and you’re the one still causing problems for us all.’
‘Me?’ Kieran blinked. A strange and unpleasant sensation washed over him. A sudden dizzy adrenalin rush of free-falling. He felt it dislodge something sharp inside him. ‘I’m not the one with a dead girl’s bag on my boat.’
Verity slapped him.
He hadn’t seen it coming and the impact was hard enough to make his vision flash white. Kieran’s mother had never in his entire life raised a hand to him. The sound seemed to echo off the empty house.
‘You really want to hear it, Kieran?’ Verity’s tone was strange and soft now.
He put his fingers to his face. The skin was hot and he could feel the sting of the blow. ‘I think you really want to say it.’
‘Finn died because of you. It was your fault.’
There was a thick silence. They looked at each other, properly, for what felt like the first time in years.
Kieran lowered his hand from his face. It still hurt. ‘Feel better now?’
‘Yes, actually. I do.’ Verity inhaled, and exhaled. ‘Wish I’d told you that twelve years ago.’
Without another word, she turned her back on him, stepped straight over Brian, and walked into the house. Kieran heard her footsteps disappear down the hall, then nothing but the sound of the door to Finn’s room clicking open and shut again.
Chapter 34
Kieran lay next to his daughter on the bed, jangling his keys over her face to make her laugh while Mia turned a page of a dog-eared G.R. Barlin novel.
‘Maybe we should just book those flights,’ Kieran said. ‘Go home tomorrow.’
Mia looked up. ‘Do you want to?’
‘I don’t want to leave things like this, but –’
They both turned their heads at the sound of Finn’s door opening across the hall. The floorboards creaked, then, further down, Brian’s bedroom door squeaked open and gently closed shut.
Mia frowned. ‘She’ll probably be more willing to talk in the morning.’
‘I’m sorry for how she spoke to you,’ he said, not for the first time that afternoon.
‘It’s okay. None of this is about me.’
Kieran didn’t say anything, just shook his keys gently and watched his daughter smile. It had been hours since the argument. After Verity had locked herself away, Brian had thankfully let himself be led to bed, where Kieran had tucked him in like a child. He had closed his eyes and slept, tired from his swim. When Verity still did not emerge, Kieran and Mia had taken Audrey down to the beach to give her some space. They had returned, much later, to find her still shut in Finn’s room. Kieran had been able to hear her moving about, but his knocks on the door had gone unanswered. At last, he and Mia had holed up in his own room, trying and failing – on Kieran’s part at least – to make sense of the events of the day.
Mia closed the book and reached over to check the time on her phone. The light was fading outside. ‘Should we make dinner? We could go and get something from the supermarket.’
‘Peace offering?’
She smiled. ‘Worth a try. Either way, we all have to eat.’
‘Yeah. I suppose.’ Kieran pulled himself up. ‘If we’re going, we should go now. They probably still shut early.’
They walked to town along the road, Audrey snoozing in the carrier against Kieran’s chest. Fisherman’s Cottage was in darkness as they passed, the police tape still fluttering at the gate. Someone had removed the flowers and the space looked oddly bare. They walked on and as they reached the spot where they had seen the car blast past all those days ago – Liam’s car, allegedly – Kieran reached out and took Mia’s hand. There were no cars tonight.
‘It feels –’ Mia started, then hesitated. ‘This week has felt like the days after the storm.’
‘I don’t remember that too well.’
‘Oh yeah, of course. It was weird, though, people were out and about when they had to be, but it was like everyone kind of disappeared into themselves for a while. Self-preservation instinct kicking in or something.’
She fell quiet for a way.
‘What are you thinking?’ Kieran said as the l
ights of the marina came into view up ahead, a bright halo in the twilight.
‘Same as you, probably.’ Mia shrugged. ‘Trying to think of a good reason why Gabby’s bag was on your brother’s boat.’
‘Yeah?’ Kieran looked over. Mia had known Gabby as well as anyone. He waited as she breathed out, his flash of hope slipping away as the seconds drifted by. Eventually she shook her head.
‘I don’t know, Kieran, I’m sorry. The best I can come up with is a chance encounter, like they found it or something. But that doesn’t make sense either, because you’d just hand it in, wouldn’t you?’ She sounded sad. ‘All I can tell you is that Gabby didn’t really know your brother or Toby. I’ve been trying to think of something I might have forgotten, but I can’t. We were fourteen, they were grown men. We didn’t know them as mentors or diving instructors or anything like that, and definitely not as friends. She’d seen them around, and –’ Mia paused for a fraction of a beat, ‘– I guess they would have seen her, obviously. But no more than that, as far as I knew.’
‘Right.’ Kieran listened to the sound of their footsteps for a while. ‘The thing is –’ He couldn’t help himself. ‘Something feels really off. I mean, yeah, Finn was my brother and yeah, you’ve probably got a point that we only remember the good things. But he could be an arsehole at times, I really do know that. He wasn’t at heart, though. He was just a normal bloke, with good points and bad points. I genuinely believe that. So maybe I’m kidding myself, but it feels like a big jump from that to –’ He shrugged. ‘Whatever some backpack on his boat suggests.’
‘I couldn’t say, Kieran.’ Mia’s eyes were on the marina. The gentle creak and groan of the boats filled the evening air. ‘I honestly didn’t know Finn or Toby at all.’
The lights were on in the Surf and Turf as they walked past but the place was again virtually deserted, with nearly every table empty. Through the window, Kieran could spot the grainy picture of Bronte still smiling out from the noticeboard. He wondered if the collection tin had been passed on to her parents yet. He presumed it still would be, despite what had been aired at the community meeting. He wondered what Nick and Andrea Laidler would make of it. A kind gesture from those who cared, or a case of far too little, far too late, from people who had let their daughter down?
By the time they reached the small supermarket, it was nearly closing time. Audrey was stirring a little in the sling.
‘I’ll go in,’ Mia whispered. ‘You keep walking.’
The streets were dark and mostly empty. A few lights burned behind blinds in front windows, but Kieran saw only the odd dog walker. Still all men, he noticed. He wondered how long that would last. He couldn’t guess. Audrey fidgeted, unsettled, and he was pacing the roads on autopilot when he slowed in front of Wetherby House. He had come this way without fully realising it.
Kieran stood on the grassy verge and stared at the wrecked garden. The lights from the house threw sharp shadows across the upturned earth, but other than that it looked exactly the same as it had earlier that day, when he’d seen Ash parked outside. There was no sign of him now. Kieran jumped a little as he sensed movement, and looked around. He half-expected to see Ash loitering in what was left of the greenery, but instead, the front door creaked open and G.R. Barlin appeared in the frame.
‘Sorry,’ Kieran called, raising a hand. ‘Just us.’
‘Hang on.’ George disappeared back inside, then returned, holding something under his arm as he pulled the door shut behind him. ‘When I saw you, I thought your mate was back for a second.’
‘No.’
‘You have the same build in the dark.’ George smiled at Audrey. ‘Baby’s a bit of a giveaway, though.’ He held a bag of books over the fence. ‘For Mia. Some of mine, some others that she might like.’
‘Oh.’ Surprised, Kieran reached for the bag. ‘Thank you.’
‘Kind of an apology on my part as well.’ George shook his head. ‘Pendlebury stopped by earlier. I didn’t realise I was stirring up trouble with those storm timings. I thought it was interesting, that was all.’
‘Interesting is definitely one way to put it,’ Kieran said. He managed a smile. ‘I’m grateful to you, though. Knowing makes a big difference. For me, anyway.’
‘Good to hear.’
‘Why were you looking into it anyway? You’re not writing about that, are you?’
‘God, no.’ George frowned. ‘The new one’s about biological warfare in a near-futuristic dystopia.’
‘Ah.’
‘Yeah.’ George shrugged. ‘The storm was just something I was reading about on the side.’ He was quiet as he glanced down at baby Audrey. ‘I’m having some custody issues. Personal stuff. My wife – ex-wife – is overseas. It makes things complicated. Legally, and otherwise.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘It is what it is. I don’t really like to go into it. But it’s a bit like the landscaping, and the diving, sometimes I need a distraction. Then this terrible thing happened to Bronte.’ George shook his head. ‘I don’t know. It’s not how I expected things to be down here.’
He leaned on the fence as they both surveyed the black upturned soil. Kieran remembered Bronte’s photos and imagined her, alive and vibrant, walking past this very spot, camera in hand as she headed towards the cliff trail. All at once, something itched in the back of his mind, hazy and elusive. He frowned and looked back at the garden. ‘What’s the plan for all this, anyway?’
George scratched his chin. ‘You know, I’m honestly not too sure. The landscaper gives me an invoice every few weeks and I pay it. I should probably ask him. It seemed like a good idea when I moved in, modernise it a bit, make it my own, you know? But now –’ He shrugged. ‘If I’d realised it was going to be such a pain in the arse, I would have left it alone. It’s been more trouble than it’s worth.’
Kieran looked up the street towards the cliff path. Ash’s dirty white ute was nowhere to be seen. The neighbouring houses stood silent, set back from the road with their blinds shut. The niggling feeling remained. He turned back to the excavated garden, its destruction nearly complete. Kieran hesitated, then opened his mouth.
‘You found anything interesting in there?’ His voice was oddly light, even to his own ears.
George’s eyes flicked over in the dark. ‘Like what?’
‘I don’t know,’ Kieran said. ‘Anything.’
‘The body of Gabby Birch buried in the flowerbeds your mate dug all alone by hand twelve years ago?’
The only sound was the purr of a single passing car.
‘No,’ Kieran said quickly as the road fell quiet again. ‘That’s not what I meant.’
‘Wasn’t it?’ The writer looked a tiny bit amused. ‘This whole time you never once thought that might be what was going on here?’
Kieran didn’t answer.
‘Don’t worry.’ George gave him a knowing smile. ‘I won’t tell anyone.’ He paused. ‘Ash was here this morning actually. He apologised.’
‘Really?’ Kieran couldn’t hide his surprise.
‘Yeah. Or at least I think that’s what he was getting at. I did, too.’ George surveyed the patch of the garden still to be dug up. ‘I’ve been wondering if maybe he and I could work something out with this. I suspect Ash might actually know what he’s doing more than my current guy.’
‘I don’t think you’d be sorry,’ Kieran said. ‘You two would probably get along pretty well if you gave each other a chance. Ash is a good bloke when he wants to be.’
‘Yeah. Well, we’ll see.’ George shivered in the crisp air. ‘I’ll get back inside. If Mia wants any of her books signed, tell her to shout out.’
‘Thanks. I’m not sure how much longer we’ll be around, though.’
‘Is that right? I hope not because of anything I’ve stirred up with the storm?’
‘No. Not just that anyway. It�
��s a few things.’
‘I can’t say I blame you. I really hoped I’d stay here long-term, but now –’ George looked tired. ‘I’m not so sure. Places like this, they need to be tight-knit to work. Once the trust is broken, they’re stuffed. Whether people see it or not, the writing’s on the wall.’ George turned back to his big house, with its torn-up grounds and its sprawling, empty feel. ‘Anyway, it was good to meet you both. Hopefully we’ll cross paths again.’
He raised a hand and Kieran watched him open the front door and disappear into the blazing light. The door closed and the street was dark and sleepy once more.
Kieran stood there alone with Audrey. The writer had gone, Ash’s car was not there, the road to the cliff path was empty. Except suddenly, something new snagged deep in Kieran’s mind.
No. Not new. Different. A dogged feeling that he was missing something tugged at him. Kieran stared into the night and forced himself to think. It was the same sensation he’d had earlier that day, down on the beach with Pendlebury. He closed his eyes and tried to focus, but the idea was like water, slipping through his fingers.
Finally, Audrey stirred and his mobile phone buzzed with a message from Mia. Kieran blinked and began to walk, the elusive thought creeping alongside him, always just out of reach. He chased it, without success, the whole way back.
Chapter 35
The house was quiet as Kieran and Mia let themselves in. Kieran heard the door to Finn’s room click shut again as they stepped into the hall, and he walked through to find Brian sitting alone on the back verandah.
Where once there would have been a cold beer in his hand, Brian instead held a glass of tap water, still fizzing a little with dissolved medication. He didn’t seem to mind, though, and was gazing peacefully out at the dark waves breaking white against the sand. The night air was crisp and the tide sounded strong and refreshed.
Kieran went in to get Audrey’s bottle and came back out to find Mia had pulled up a spare chair next to his dad. Brian had a cushion across his lap and Audrey lay on it, cradled in his arms. Kieran looked to Mia, who shrugged.