“So what do you think so far?” Charlie asked, taking a seat beside me.
I glanced up. I’d been there for over two hours. “Fuck, this is good,” I muttered, not wanting to stop reading.
“It’s time for bed, you know.”
“One more chapter, okay? Please?”
He glanced over to see where I was and smiled. “Sure. I’m going to nap here, if that’s okay. Long trip, but I didn’t want to be gone overnight.”
The thought touched my heart. “Glad you came back.”
“Oh, I’m always going to come back. At least as long as you’re here,” he said, his voice filled with sleep. A moment later, he was snoring.
I knew I should put the book down, but goddammit, I’d waited almost a year for this to come out. I promised myself one more chapter and then I’d take Charlie to bed. Maybe tonight we’d exchange hand jobs again. Or maybe we’d go a little bit farther. We hadn’t done anything beyond that, as much as I wanted to. Charlie insisted we were going to take it slow, and I appreciated that fact. Being able to touch him was good enough for me.
The end of the chapter was drawing near, and I’d only finished about half the book. But a promise was a promise. Things took an odd turn when Lucien got arrested for murder, as the police found the body he said he’d seen. Tremaine strode into the police station, larger than life. They took him to see Lucien, who sat seemingly completely unbothered by the events around him.
“Aren’t you going to ask if I did it?” Lucien asked, his voice silky smooth. He studied his nails, then buffed them against his shirt before he turned his gaze back on his lover.
“Why? Should I?” Tremaine fired back. “Is that what you want? Me to ask if you’re a killer?”
Lucien snorted. “Why not? Everyone else is wondering.”
“I never wonder about you, Lucien. You are the one solid thing in my whole life, and I never doubt that. I do have a question I need answered, though.”
“I figured you might” came the cold reply.
Tremaine fished a hand into his pocket and withdrew a small pewter gray box. He held it out and popped the top open. Inside was a brushed metal band with gold edging on the top and bottom. “Do you think you might wanna marry me?”
“Oh my God!” I squealed, jolting Charlie from his sleep.
He lurched up. “What? What’s wrong?”
I reached over and grabbed him by the hand. “Tremaine asked Lucien to marry him!”
“Well, yeah,” Charlie replied, yawning. “I told you it would happen eventually.”
“But in a jail?” I demanded, completely incredulous as to how Charlie had written it.
Charlie grinned. “Okay, it’s not the most romantic setting, I admit.”
When he’d said that Tremaine would propose, I’d expected something a little more… I don’t know. Hearts and flowers? Not in jail when his lover was the prime suspect in a murder case.
“So you’re done reading for the night? Because I’m very tired.”
“But… but….”
“Are you upset because it wasn’t a really sweet gesture? Could you really see Tremaine getting down on one knee and asking Lucien to spend their lives together?”
Well, no. Now that he said it that way, it would have seemed weird. “No, I guess not.”
“He’s not really one for over-the-top declarations,” Charlie reminded me. “Me, on the other hand….” Charlie slipped a hand into his pocket and withdrew a pewter gray box. He opened the lid, and inside was a brushed metal band with gold edging on the top and bottom. My shoulders started shaking as he got down on one knee. “Do me a favor, would you? Read the dedication to the book.”
I flipped back to the beginning and started to read.
This book is for Matt, the love of my life, who brings me joy that I couldn’t find anywhere but in his arms. If he’s reading this, I need him to answer a question for me. Do you think you might wanna marry me?
I began to cry. I looked up at Charlie, who had gone blurry around the edges. “Really?” I squeaked.
“You’re the only thing in my life I need to keep,” he said, his voice husky. “Life just makes more sense when you’re in it. So what do you say?”
Married? Me? I had honestly never considered it before, even with Charlie here.
“You’re not saying anything,” Charlie said quietly. “If you don’t feel ready—”
“Yes.”
“Yes… what?”
I cupped his cheeks in my hands and pulled him toward me. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
He chuckled. “I love you, and tonight I’d like to show you how much.”
Did he mean…. Oh hell.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
WE WENT into the bathroom together, and I was grateful for the fact that our shower was big enough for two of us.
“I’ve been traveling all day,” he explained. “After I met with the publisher, I went and saw my parents and Teresa. They all said hi. Had to help Dad shovel, so I’m sweaty and probably not very fresh. I want to make sure we don’t have any issues.” He grabbed the washcloth and liquid soap, which smelled of cedar and mint. He applied a dab and began running it over my chest. “You don’t know how much I love your body,” he whispered. “The fact that I get to touch you like this turns me on so much. Knowing no one else ever has, or ever will, makes it that much better.”
He treated me gently, as though I was made of spun glass and might shatter at a touch.
“If this gets to be too much, you have to tell me, okay?”
I nodded.
“No, I need to hear your voice. I have to know this is all right. I won’t continue if it worries you or makes you nervous.”
“It makes my stomach quiver when you touch me,” I admitted. “But I’m not afraid.”
“Good. I’m glad.”
Soft, sure strokes across my body had me achingly hard. Whenever Charlie touched me as we shared an intimate moment, I thanked God or whoever wanted to take credit for it. They really knew their stuff when they designed nipples, because mine… oh hell, yes.
When Charlie handed me the cloth, I didn’t hesitate to begin exploring his body. I moved down, until I had to kneel in front of him to reach his legs. Before this, I had never really had his dick in my face. It hung heavy and hard, and begged to be touched. I reached up and stroked it with my hand. When he shuddered, I grinned.
“Have I ever told you what it’s like touching you?”
His expression told me he wanted to know. “Not that I recall.”
“Your body is firm from the running, but it’s so soft beneath my fingers. It intrigues me the way your muscles flex as I stroke them. And I find it amazing the way your cock seems to be attached to every nerve ending I touch and jumps when I do.”
“What can I say? My body appreciates your hands. And it looks forward to getting to know you better.”
Charlie stared into my eyes, and his loving gaze overwhelmed me. He reached for me and put his hands under my arms to pull me up. I got a smile, so sweet and gentle, before Charlie leaned in and kissed me. When his tongue touched my lips, I opened for him. He swept into my mouth, his tongue teasing mine, coaxing it to play. When I took the invitation, my heart soared. Charlie threw his arms around me and cupped the back of my head, drawing the kiss deeper. He stepped back and gazed into my eyes once more.
“I love you.”
“I love you too,” I whispered.
He took my hand as we stepped out of the shower. We each took a towel and dried ourselves off. After, he put an arm around my waist and led me to the bedroom. My stomach flipped as I thought about what we might be getting ready to do. When he pulled out his phone, I was surprised. I hadn’t expected that at all.
“You’re going to take pictures?”
He laughed. “No, but maybe later. We could have someone post it online for us, and we’ll act all surprised. But that’s not what this is for.” He opened a file and held his phone out to me.
&
nbsp; “What’s this?” I asked as I studied the screen.
“My test results. I want you to know I’m clean. I haven’t had sex with anyone since I walked out on Mitch, and even when we were together, we always used condoms.”
What he was saying didn’t make any sense to me at first. Then it dawned on me what he meant. “You want to…?”
“Only if… when you’re comfortable with it,” he rushed to explain. “I just wanted you to know the option is open.”
The thought of sex with Charlie had been on my mind for the longest time, but to go without a condom? Even I’d heard the stats growing up, and though I knew there were drugs out there, none of them was a cure.
“I don’t know. I’ve never had anyone… you know.”
He gave me a Cheshire grin. “That’s why I want you to do me.”
I took a step back. “You what?”
He came closer and took my hand. “I, Charlie Carver, want you, Matthew Bowers, inside me.” He looked down and grinned at my cock jutting out in front of me. “It seems like that idea appeals to you.”
Yes, it did. So very, very much. “But I don’t know what to do,” I admitted.
“Then I’ll teach you. Come on.”
He guided me to the bed. My erection had flagged because the thought that Charlie wanted me to…. God, almost thirty, and I still couldn’t think it.
“Hey, remember, no pressure. If you’re not ready, then we wait.”
This man… my fiancé… had been by my side for over a year. I’d known him even longer. Beyond our one problem, he’d never given me another reason to doubt he loved me and would never hurt me.
“Show me,” I said softly.
He lay back and pulled me down to him. Every move was gentle, but the hesitation was gone. He trusted me to know my mind.
“First, we relax both of us,” he said, bringing our lips together. Soft kisses, sweet, warm. God, I loved kissing him. I’d never kissed anyone else, but I doubted they’d have his sweet and tangy flavor. I clung to him as we continued the kisses, and when he stroked my skin, I moaned into his mouth.
He pulled back and looked me in the eye. “You like that, huh?” he teased.
Instead of answering, I went in for another kiss. This time he hummed.
“Touch me, Matt. Please.”
I slid my hands over his chest, rubbing over his nipples, which perked up under my touch.
“I like it when you do that,” he said, his voice huskier than I’d ever heard it. “If you wanted to pinch them lightly, that would be awesome.”
Deciding to take him at his word, I gave them a light tug. He groaned, and it was the most sensuous thing I’d ever heard. I spent a little more time on his chest, until his nipples were red and puffy. When I moved my hand again, he whimpered.
“You’re so good at that. You made it feel damn good.”
I knew he was critiquing my performance and his words were meant to put me at ease. Thankfully, they did. I slid my hand down and wrapped my fingers around his shaft.
He grabbed my wrist and stopped me. “No, don’t do that. I’ve been looking forward to being with you for so long, and it won’t take much to bring me to orgasm. What I want to do now is show you how to prepare me. Okay?”
I nodded, then replied, “Yes, okay.”
He reached over to the nightstand and pulled out the bottle of lubricant that Mr. Gianetti had sent along last year. He broke open the seal on it, which sent a shiver coursing through me. After popping the top, he put a small bit on his fingers and rubbed them together.
“With lube, a little goes a long way. It doesn’t normally take a lot to get someone ready. It’s more about patience and learning to read your partner. I’m going to show you what you do.”
He reached between his legs and slowly rubbed his fingertip over his hole, which twitched each time he did. He groaned as he sank the finger in just up to the first knuckle. “God, it’s been so long, I forgot how good this feels,” he said, pressing in a little more.
I watched, fascinated, as his finger disappeared, then reappeared. He repeated the movement several times, his moaning enough to bring me back to rock hardness.
“After your partner is comfortable with one finger, you should move to add another,” Charlie said. “It usually takes two or three before they loosen up enough to take you.” He glanced down at me. “In your case, I’m thinking three,” he said, gracing me with a smile. He reached for the lube again, but I stopped him.
“Can I?”
“If you’re sure, yeah, go for it.”
He lay back against the pillow and drew his knees up. I grabbed the bottle and did what Charlie had. Except I ended up with a lot more lube.
“It’s fine,” he told me, reaching down and grabbing one of the towels from the bathroom. He handed it to me, and I wiped my hand off, doing my best to focus on Charlie and not the fact the towels didn’t belong on the floor. “Try again.”
This time I squeezed lightly and got a few drops instead of a small stream.
“You’re going to want to go slow to start. There’s a slight burn when you first enter, but it quickly becomes something amazing.”
I moved my hand down between his legs. When my fingers touched his hole, it quivered, and I drew back.
“Did I hurt you?” I asked, praying I hadn’t.
“No,” he said, a wide smile on his face. “You’re doing just fine. Try again.”
This time my fingers breached him, and he hissed. I watched his expression. He wasn’t in pain, I knew that, so I didn’t stop. I did as he had and pushed in slightly.
“Oh God,” he groaned. “Go deeper.”
I pressed in until my fingers were buried to the second knuckle. He let me explore, moving my fingers in different ways to see if it heightened his pleasure at all. Before I realized it, my fingers were all the way inside of him.
“Do you feel that bump?” he asked. “That’s my prostate. If you touch it lightly, it feels so goddamn good.”
I searched for it, and when I brushed against it, Charlie groaned.
“Fuck yes!” he cried, his hips pushing off the bed. “Add another finger now.”
There was no hesitation this time. Seeing the look of rapture on his face had me willing to do anything he wanted. I quickly spread a little more lube and slowly pressed the fingers into his opening. Watching them sink in was fascinating. He let me go at my own pace, but I noticed his head rocking back and forth as his hips canted.
“Matt, I need you now. Do you think you’re ready?” he asked, his voice pleading.
“I…. Maybe?”
He opened his eyes. “Baby, it’s okay if you’re not. I swear, I won’t be upset or angry. I think what you did today is amazing.”
“No, I want to, but…. Would you be hurt if I used the condom?”
He chuckled as he sat up and stroked my arm. “No, not at all. I only showed you the report so you knew. If we decide one day to go bareback, then we do. It’s not a deal breaker, I promise.”
My hands trembled slightly as I reached for the box of condoms Mr. Gianetti had sent me long ago. I pulled one out, tore the foil wrapper slowly, and rolled the condom down my length. My every thought focused on what we were about to do.
Charlie smiled when I put a little bit of lube onto the condom. “You’re learning,” he said, obviously pleased.
“Good teacher,” I mumbled, wanting to distract myself from the erotic haze I found myself enveloped in.
“Kneel between my legs,” he said, pulling them up.
After I’d positioned myself where he wanted me, he smiled. “Okay, here’s the deal. You’re quite a bit thicker than three fingers, and it’s been a long time, so I’d appreciate it if you go slow so I have time to adjust to having you in me. Okay?”
I did my best to focus on my target. My cock throbbed so hard I feared it would burst. After scooting forward a little, I took my shaft in my hand and positioned it at his opening. “Are you sure?” I asked.
“Very” came the reply. “I’ve been wanting this for a year, but if you need more time, then we’ll take it.”
“No, I’m okay,” I promised, though every nerve in my body was set to high. I put my hands on his legs as I pushed in, just a little. I made sure to keep checking his expression, needing to ensure I wasn’t hurting him. As soon as the head of my cock breached his hole, this incredible pressure surrounded it. I immediately stopped, because the sensations were damned overwhelming. My teeth sank into my lower lip, the small bite of pain giving me something to think about.
“Matt? Are you okay?” Charlie asked.
I nodded. I could feel warmth trailing down my cheeks. I knew I was crying yet again.
“You can push in some more.”
I shook my head, unable to move.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” he asked me, rubbing my arms.
“I’m going to come,” I said, embarrassed that it would be over any moment. “I can’t make it good for you.”
He gave me a warm smile. “Come if you want. You’ve already made it better for me. To know that I’m your first and, just so you know, your only? That’s pretty goddamn heady. If you come now, then we try again later. There’s nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of.”
Without replying, I pushed in a little deeper. Charlie groaned, his head thrown back and mouth open. I couldn’t believe the heat that flowed around me. I had to bury myself all the way. It became my focal point. Slowly I pressed in a little deeper, each inch burning me up from the heat in his body. When I found myself unable to move any more, I realized I was fully seated inside Charlie. He squeezed his ass muscles, and I groaned at the combination of heat and tightness.
“So good,” he purred. “Do you think you might be able to move now? Just pull out a little, then push back in. Find a rhythm that’s comfortable for you.”
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