When Noah’s eyes find mine again, they’re filled with pain, sadness, and so much regret.
“She was thin, so thin, with this tiny little basketball for a belly. Her hair was stringy, and I’ll never forget the hollow look in her eyes. When she looked at me, I knew… I just knew the girl I had fallen in love with, the girl I was about to have a baby with, was gone.”
Shaking his head, Noah walks back toward me and sits down. “I didn’t find out for sure until after Nova was born that Kim had been using drugs.”
I gasp, my heart breaking. “Oh my gosh, Noah.”
“Watching Nova struggle after her birth was the single hardest thing I’ve ever had to witness.”
My heart beats fast and hard in my chest, anger pumping through my veins. How could someone do such a horrible thing to an innocent baby? And to Noah. I can’t imagine what that was like.
“I was granted full custody of Nova. Kim tried to fight me, and when she realized I wasn’t going to back down, she switched tactics. She tried to tell me she was sober and wanted to be a part of our lives, but by then I was done. I couldn’t forgive her for what she’d done to our little girl.” Noah’s voice cracks, along with a piece of my heart.
“What happened then?”
“Kim overdosed on Nova’s first birthday.”
The devastation in his words pulls me from my place on the couch and into his arms. I wrap myself around him, offering what little comfort I can.
“I’m so sorry,” I say over and over.
“It’s okay. Nova’s happy and healthy, and that’s all that matters. She’s all that matters.”
His words slam into me with such force that I’m thankful I’m holding on to him. I’m also thankful my face is buried in his shoulder and he can’t see the way his words lance through me, because no matter how silly it sounds, I would like to matter too.
“My life isn’t just my life anymore. It’s her life. And I have to be careful about who I let into her life because she’s already been through so much. I don’t want her to know the pain of losing anyone else.”
“I get it,” I whisper, my lips brushing against his neck. “You don’t have to explain.”
I tighten my arms around Lennon. The feel of her body against mine is enough to knock down whatever walls were still standing around my heart. I’ve only ever talked about Kim with my parents and Mikey. But I’m glad Lennon knows. It feels right.
She feels rights.
And she might think I didn’t notice her tensing up in my arms a few seconds ago, and she might say that she gets it, but I don’t see how she possibly could.
“I haven’t dated much because of Nova.”
Lennon pulls back, avoiding my gaze. My fingers curl beneath her chin, lifting her sad eyes to mine.
“I would like for that to change.”
“What?” Her brows knit, and I lean in, kissing the bunched skin to smooth it out.
“I said I would like for that to change.”
“No, I heard you. I’m just not sure I understand what you’re saying. You were very clear about not adulting the other day.”
Gripping Lennon’s hand, I open myself, allowing her to see every part of me.
Threading my fingers through her hair at the base of her neck, I hold her surprised stare. I find hope and anticipation, and it causes my heart to slam against the walls of my chest with pleasure.
“I’m not talking about just adulting. This is different. I’d like to take you out on a date.”
Her answering smile is blinding, lighting up a part of my world that has been dark for far too long. And then things get even better because she pushes her hands up my chest, wraps her arms around my neck, and pulls me to her.
“If I say yes, does that I mean I can kiss you?”
Instead of answering, I plant my lips right on hers. She kisses me back slowly, and when I suck on her bottom lip, she lets out a soft moan. We lose ourselves in the moment, mouths searching, hands exploring, and when my cock pushes painfully against my zipper, I pull back.
It’s hard—way too fucking hard—and my body protests. So does Lennon’s. Her lips follow after mine for an instant before turning down in a pout.
“I wasn’t done,” she says.
I trace my thumb along her bottom lip. Her tongue darts out, and she licks my fingertip before sucking it into her mouth.
Fuck me. She’s going to make it impossible to remain a gentleman.
It’s not that I don’t want to fuck Lennon, because I do—very much. It’s that I don’t want her to be like every other meaningless hookup I’ve had over the years. If I’m going to do this, if I’m going to step on this scary fucking ledge, I want to do it the right way.
“Tonight,” I say, my voice strained with want.
She releases my thumb with a wet pop. “You promised kissing and rubbing.”
“I know,” I say, laughing. “And I promise there will be more, but I want to date you. I want to get to know who you are before I explore what you like,” I explain, arching an eyebrow. “I don’t want another fling.”
Her perfect lips curl in a mix of delight and desire. “Well, when you put it like that…”
“Not so fast.” Standing up, I crowd every bit of her personal space. “I have to go in to work for a few hours, but I want to take you out tonight. Would that be okay?”
“I would be honored to go on a date with you, Noah Cunningham. What time should I be here?”
“I don’t know what kind of guys you’re used to dating, but that’s not how this works. I’ll pick you up at your front door at seven o’clock sharp.”
“Where are we going?” she asks.
“I haven’t decided yet.”
“But I need to know how to dress.”
“Baby, you could wear a fucking burlap sack and still be beautiful.”
Lennon curls her fingers around my shirt and tugs me in for a quick kiss. “Don’t be late.”
Not a chance in hell, pretty girl.
“Wow,” I say, sliding into a small, half circle booth tucked in the back corner of The Loading Dock. “This place is amazing.”
“This is Nova’s favorite restaurant.”
“I can see why.”
There isn’t an actual wall in the entire place. In fact, there isn’t a ceiling either. Everything from the floor up is one giant saltwater tank, filled with fish of all different colors, not to mention stingrays, turtles, and even sharks.
It’s absolutely breathtaking.
Noah slides into the booth next to me. “This restaurant is actually a rescue habitat. Some of the turtles and sharks have been injured or caught up in fishing nets. So they come here to get treatment and heal.”
“Do they get released back into the ocean?”
“Eventually some of them do. Some aren’t so lucky.”
“It’s fantastic.” A large, black stingray swims right at me before making a hard left and skimming against the wall. I laugh, pointing. “Did you see that?” Noah doesn’t respond, but I can’t pull my eyes away from the fish to see why. “We don’t have anything like this where I’m from.”
“Where are you from?”
It takes a second for his words to register, and then I remember we really haven’t discussed anything about me. I’m relieved that we’ve made it this far. I’m not trying to deceive him, but he’s gotten to know me a different way. No preconceived notions, just me. Lennon. And I like that. A lot.
“New York. Manhattan to be exact.”
“That’s a far cry from Heaven, Texas.”
“It is—”
“Hey, Noah.” A tall, thin man with an easy smile approaches our table. He’s dressed casually, but the grease stains on his hands leave me wondering if he works at Noah’s shop.
Noah slides out of the booth, greeting him with a man hug. “How are you, Rick? How’s the car running?”
“Like a dream, thanks to you.” he says. “I owe you.”
Noah shakes his head.
“No, you don’t. Plus, it’s a trade, remember? You’re working on my bike.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Rick waves him off. “It’s still not enough. I’m just popping some dents out. You rebuilt the whole damn engine.”
Our waiter approaches, and after a promise to call Noah as soon as his bike is finished, Rick leaves. The waiter takes our drink order, and I’m relieved when It’s just Noah and me again.
“So that’s who you hired to work on your bike?”
“Yeah, that’s Ricky. But I didn’t hire him; we worked out a trade.”
“Meaning?”
“A few months ago he fell on some hard times. His car broke down, and he needed it running because he has a young family, so I helped him. He’s returning the favor.”
Could this man get any more perfect? No really, I’m not kidding.
“That was nice of you.”
Noah shrugs. “He heard about the accident, and lucky for me, Ricky lives and breathes motorcycles.”
“So he works at a bike shop?”
“Right now he works as a janitor at the school. But his dad used to have a custom bike shop, and Ricky worked there until his father passed away. He inherited the shop, but he couldn’t keep it afloat. He ended up having to sell it to pay off all of his dad’s debt.”
I look in the direction Ricky went when he walked away. “That’s so sad.”
“Yeah, it is. He’s crazy good at what he does. A few years ago he bought a few pieces of old, rusted-out equipment, we got them going, and he started doing some side work out of his garage. I want him to build me a custom bike. We’ve even got plans drawn up.”
“So why don’t you do it?”
“Money.” Noah shrugs. “I’m not hurting, by any means, but a custom bike is expensive, and I refuse to let him work for nothing.”
“I know you said he’s returning a favor, but I’ll gladly pay him for working on your bike.”
The waiter stops by, dropping off our drinks, and we order our food. Once he’s gone, Noah shakes his head before taking a sip of his soda.
“Because it was my fault and all,” I say, giving him a sassy yet apologetic smile.
Sliding his hand under the table, Noah finds mine and links our fingers together. “He won’t charge me.”
“Well, if he does—”
“He won’t.” Noah pulls our joined hands to his lips and places a soft kiss against my knuckles. “But thank you for offering. Now,” he says, tucking our hands back under the table, “enough about me. I believe we were talking about you.”
“There isn’t much to tell.” I shrug. “I was born and raised in Manhattan, where I attended an all-girls prep school.”
Noah’s eyes widen. “Wait a minute. You went to an all-girls school?”
“I did.”
“So there were no boys at all?”
I shake my head, laughing at the confused look on his face.
“So you didn’t have boyfriends growing up? There were no proms or making out behind the bleachers after a football game?”
“Kids actually make out behind bleachers after football games?” I ask, fascinated. “I kissed my friend Anastasia in the bathroom my sophomore year. Does that count?”
Noah’s lips part. “No, that doesn’t count, but I’m intrigued. And yes, kids really make out behind bleachers after football games. It’s like a rite of passage or something.”
“Don’t be intrigued,” I say, taking a sip of my tea. “Anastasia was a sloppy kisser. It was short and certainly nothing to write home about.”
“Did you write home about it? I mean, is that something you would actually tell your parents?”
“Seriously? Did you tell your parents you kissed girls behind the bleachers?”
“Good point.”
I shrug. “It wouldn’t have mattered. I was closer to my nanny, and she wouldn’t have cared either way. In fact, she probably would’ve just given me a thumbs up and gone about her day.”
Noah squeezes my hand. “You’re not close to your parents?”
“Not really, but it’s what I’m used to. It’s part of the role.”
“And what role is that?”
“Love child.”
“Explain.”
“Striving Broadway actress falls in love with handsome businessman, thus ending his seven-year marriage to his high school sweetheart. Nine months later, I come barreling into the world, and my parents celebrate by jetting off on a trip around the world. Without me.”
“That’s kind of fucked up.”
“It’s a lot fucked up. But it is what it is. I didn’t know the difference. For the first three years of my life, I thought Helga was my mother.”
“Helga?”
“The nanny.”
“Lennon.” Noah shakes his head in disbelief. “I can’t even imagine what that was like for you, and as a parent, I don’t understand it. It took me five years to let my parents take Nova somewhere overnight. I can’t fathom leaving right after she was born.”
“That means you’re a good dad. And don’t get me wrong, my parents aren’t bad people; their priorities are just screwed up.”
“Yes, but they’re your parents. Their priority should be you.”
I take a sip of my drink. “One would think.”
“What do your parents do?”
“Well, my father is a self-made businessman,” I say, leaving out the fact that his business is actually a Fortune 500 company and that he’s currently Joseph Morgan’s vice presidential running mate for this year’s election. “And my mother was a Broadway actress. She retired a few years ago, if that’s what you call it. Now she spends her days following my father around and annoying me.”
Noah opens his mouth, no doubt prepared to pepper me with more questions I’m not ready to answer, and I breathe a sigh of relief when the waiter finally brings our food.
“Damn, that looks good.” Noah’s eyes linger on my plate of pasta. “I’m getting that next time.”
My heart flutters at the thought of a next time. I knew Noah and I would get along great, so it’s no surprise how fast the night flies by. We spend the next few hours eating, talking, and getting to know each other. I’ve never felt more relaxed or had a conversation flow so naturally.
Noah tells me about the summers he spent at his grandmother’s house. We talk about his love for baseball and how he became a mechanic, and then he tells me more about Nova and how hard it was being a single father at the age of twenty. Eventually we veer into Lennon territory, and I tell him about growing up in the city. He laughs when I tell him that even though I have a license, here in Heaven is really the first time I’ve ever driven for longer than a quarter mile. And then we laugh some more, comparing how different our teenage years were—mine filled with evenings at the theatre and whatever fancy dinner my parents decided to drag me to, and his filled with bonfires on the beach and barn parties with a slew of friends.
Eventually the waiter drops off our bill with a subtle, “Pay whenever you’re ready.”
Noah’s friend Ricky walks by the table, smiling toward me at the same time Noah pulls out his wallet.
“I’m going to use the restroom before we go,” I say, excusing myself.
“Probably a good idea because the next place I’m taking you won’t have a bathroom.”
I stop, my butt perched at the end of the booth. “Where are you taking me?”
Noah grins. “I can’t tell you. It’s a surprise.”
I can’t remember the last time a man surprised me with something. Finding my ex, Mathis, in bed with my ex-best friend doesn’t count!
“Did you fall in?” Noah asks when I return to the table.
“No, I didn’t fall in,” I say, giving him a look. “I just had to freshen up.” That’s a complete lie. Okay, not complete. I did go to the bathroom and freshen up, after I found Ricky for a quick chat.
“Let’s get out of here.”
Hand in hand, Noah and I leave The Loading Dock an
d make the short trip into town. Without a word, Noah pulls into an empty parking lot, lit only by two dim streetlights.
“This is my surprise?” I look around, confused.
Noah gets out of his car and walks around to my side. He opens the door and holds out his hand. “Do you trust me?”
“Weirdly,” I say, slipping my hand into his, “I do.”
Helping me from the car, Noah shuts the door, wraps an arm around my waist, and guides me though the parking lot. When I finally focus on where we are, I stop in my tracks.
“Is that what I think it is?”
“Well,” he says, his voice seductive. “I did say it was a rite of passage.”
“Oh my gosh, Noah.” I get a giddy feeling in my stomach. Silly, I know, considering I’m a grown woman, and a guy has brought me to a football field to make out, but it’s the thought behind the make-out session that counts. “Are you going to kiss me under the bleachers?”
“No.” He shakes his head, leading me toward the large metal stands. “We’re going to kiss on the bleachers. You’ll have to wait to see what happens beneath them.”
Noah laughs when I pick up speed, practically dragging him to the bleachers. We climb the small set of stairs, and I squeal as we sit down three rows up. “Holy smokes!” I take a few deep breaths, fidgeting around. “You could’ve warned me that these bleachers would be cold.”
In one swift move, Noah lifts me and situates me on his lap. My legs draped over his, I wrap an arm around his shoulder and make myself comfortable.
The air is crisp and clean—still warm, yet offering the occasional cool breeze as the sun dips beyond the horizon. As the orange and red hues fade to black, stars scatter across the sky. The sight is utterly breathtaking and not something I’m used to seeing in the city.
“It’s so beautiful here. Look at all those stars.”
“So. Incredibly. Breathtaking.”
I turn to Noah. There are a million beautiful stars in the massive southern sky, and this sweet man only has eyes for me. Something happens inside my heart, inside my soul. Something I’ve never felt before. Something I want to keep feeling.
Noah kisses my flushed cheek. “Breathe,” he whispers. But I find it impossible when he’s looking at me like he wants to devour me. He points toward the sky. “Look, there’s the Big Dipper, and over there’s Orion’s Belt.”
The Truth About Lennon Page 7