“A chef sounds nice.” She shrugs her shoulders and takes another bite.
“I like cooking. But it’s nice every once in a while.”
I huff a humorless laugh. “I can grill, and I can bake, but I tend to burn shit on the stove.”
She looks at me with a wide smile as she asks, “But it’s harder to bake, isn’t it?”
“Nah,” I lean farther back and rest my back against the headboard, “Baking is just mixing up a simple recipe and you pop it in the oven.”
“Oh, do you mean like Betty Crocker?” she asks, and I look at her with confusion.
“Of course, what did you think I meant?”
She sets the empty bowl down and tries to cover her mouth with her arm as she laughs while shaking her head. As I watch her shoulders rise and fall slightly with the sweet sounds of soft laughter, I realize how easy the atmosphere is between us.
This is Ava. I like this side to her.
“What kind of baking do you do?” I ask. I just want to keep the conversation going. I want this feeling to last.
“Like, fresh morning biscuits--” She looks reminiscent, and I interrupt to be an ass.
“They have those in a can. They’re called Pillsbury.” She outright laughs and swings her hand at me, playfully smacking me on the arm.
It triggers her, though. Her face falls and all sense of humor is gone. It’s as though I had the real Ava to myself, if only for a small moment. But now she’s gone. Replaced by the shell of a woman.
“Ava,” I say, as I reach out to her. Her eyes dart to mine, but her body is tense and I can feel waves of anxiety pouring off of her. My hand lands on her thigh and I decide to keep things light. “You have to know what Pillsbury biscuits are, don’t you?”
She quickly responds, “Yes. I’ve seen them before.” Her body stays tense as though she’s expecting a harsh reaction. It brings me back to reality. She’s so fucking hurt.
It breaks my heart. I clear my throat and lean back against the headboard, patting the seat next to me. She obediently scoots closer.
“You’re hurting. I want to help you,” I say simply. I know the only way to help her is to make sure she never goes back to them. I know that. And I want to make sure that happens. I question if she’ll ever be alright, but a feeling deep in my gut tells me I can heal her. I can take away her pain and make everything alright.
“Tell me what I can do, Ava.” It’s a command. It may be fucked up to take advantage of her submission. I don’t feel comfortable pushing her to talk. But I have no problems pushing to find out how I can help her.
Her sad blue eyes look up at me as the corners of her plump lips tilt down. Her lips part and then close as her eyes fall. This is my Ava. I know this is her because she’s giving me emotion, even if it is sadness. I pull her small body into my lap, wrapping my arms around her waist and she melts in my arms. Her hands grip my back, and she holds onto me tighter as I run my hand down her back with soothing strokes.
I hear her say something, but I’m not sure what she says since she’s so quiet. I pull back to look at her, but she keeps the side of her head pressed to my chest and her fingertips dig into my back.
“I’ve got you, baby. Just tell me what to do.” I run my hand along her back, hoping this is helping her. I was wrong before, with Felipe, but this can’t be anything but good for her.
“Please,” she barely whispers, “keep holding me.” Hearing her plea breaks my heart. I kiss her hair and rest my chin on her head. I hold her close and keep rubbing her back.
If she wants, I’ll do this all night.
Feeling her in my arms reminds me of the last time I held my mother. She didn’t hold me back, though. They’d already killed her. The memory flashes before my eyes.
The car slams into another vehicle. The bullets fly past me, barely missing me. But my father clutches his chest, each bullet jolting his body as they pierce his back even through the thick seat. It happened so fast. We were driving to the drop, and then all of a sudden we weren’t. The acrid smell of gas is still vivid in my memory. So is the sound of the bullets. My father’s eyes stayed open even as he stopped breathing. I can hear my own voice screaming.
I remember reaching for my gun. I only got one shot off as the tires screeched, and I saw them drive off. I saw Paul and Cory in the back. They didn’t see me stand back up as they slapped the front seats, urging whoever was driving to go faster. Unlike my father, I'd been wearing Kevlar, and it had saved my life.
I saw red. Nothing but red. But fear crippled me. I was barely coherent. I stood in the middle of the road as a car drove toward me. I walked toward it, forcing the driver to stop. My hand hit the hot hood. The thud sounded so loud.
“Are you alright?” the woman asked, as she clutched her chest. Panic was written all over her face. I remember how pale she looked, how frightened she was for me, but also of me. She wanted to help. Her eyes darted from me to our car. I saw them grow larger as she registered the bullet holes. I still feel like a fucker for pushing her to the right and getting in her car. She didn’t try to fight, just backed away as I stole her car and took off.
It took fucking forever to drive home. It was only 15 minutes away. I drove like hell, laying on my horn and running red lights. It was surreal. I knew they would be headed there next. All I could do was try to get there first.
But I didn’t. I couldn’t save them. I got there too late.
My mother wasn’t breathing. I remember holding her, waiting for her to react. Instead she was limp in my arms. I held her close, just wishing she would breathe. I rocked her just like this. Waiting for a breath. Some sign of life.
Ava pulls herself even closer to my chest and I realize I’ve stopped rubbing her back. I tilt my head down to kiss her forehead and whisper, “Good girl.”
Ava
I lean against the table with both hands braced and my elbows locked. I stare at Marie with daggers in my eyes. I know she didn’t study. She smells like coconut rum. She never takes things seriously. She’s only two years younger than I am, but she’s so fucking immature. She takes everything for granted. She doesn’t remember what it was like before Dad got in with the mob and took over. She doesn’t remember how hard it was. Fuck her arrogance. I can’t stand it.
She’s going to go through life wanting for nothing. Taking advantage of everything. Even if she fails, it doesn’t matter. They’ll still hand her a degree with smiles on their faces. All because of her last name and how deep our pockets go. And she’s happy with that. She’s completely content with her ultimate life goals amounting to nothing more than having an hourglass figure, long blonde hair and long legs that she’s more than happy to spread.
Everything about her pisses me off. I fucking love my sister, but the person she’s become her freshman year of college is horrific. She needs to get the fuck over this phase. My anger boils at the surface.
I open my mouth to lay into her again. But I can’t. Her body jolts, and the wicked grin on her face vanishes. Then she’s shot again. This time the bullet hits her chin. I see her head whip to the side. There's blood everywhere. I still don’t register what’s happened. I don’t believe it. Not until I feel their hands on me. Even then I can’t take my eyes away from her. Her face is flat on the table. Blood is slowly soaking into her hair.
No! It’s not real!
But it is.
Thick, heavy arms wrap around me. I don’t struggle. It’s not real.
“What about this one, boss?” Felipe asks, with his sick, hot breath trailing down my neck. I struggle and try to scream out as I realize what’s happening. I scream, but they don’t hear me. I kick, but they don’t flinch. I fight, but it’s useless.
A hand wraps around my throat and squeezes. I can’t breathe. I try to reach my throat, but I can’t. My face turns hot as I struggle. I need to breathe.
“No, don’t,” I hear him say. The hand around my throat loosens, and my body sags forward in Felipe's arms as I heave in a gaspin
g breath. “Let’s get some use out of her.”
“Ava!” Hands hold down my shoulders, and I struggle to move against them.
“No!” I scream out. I plead with them. My body tries to push them away.
But they’ll only hurt you more when you do that, I hear the small voice say.
“Ava, wake up!”
I should listen to that voice. I don’t want to be hurt. They’re nicer when I listen. I go limp, letting him pin me down.
If you behave, he’ll make it good for you. I gasp for breath and try to forget. It’s wrong to feel this way. I need to listen, though. I need to live.
Why? Why do I need to live?
“Ava, please!” My shoulders shake and it makes my head slam against the pillow. Fingers dig into my skin.
Why do I want to live? What was the reason?
“Ava, wake up!” I hear Kane cry out so loud it hurts my head. I wince and slowly open my eyes. I feel dazed and my head hurts.
What have I done? He’s upset with me. Kane’s dark eyes stare down at me. His large shoulders cage me in. He’s shirtless, and his breathing is heavy. I stay still and try to think. I don’t know what happened.
“Are you alright?” He speaks softer than I expect. His eyes soften as his hand gently cups my face. I close my eyes, loving his touch, his affection. I just want him to hold me. I need him.
I lean forward and press my lips to his. Please. Please touch me. His lips are hard at first, since I caught him by surprise, but they quickly mold to mine. He leans into my kiss and I slowly lay my head back down. I reach my arms around his muscular body and pull him toward me. My blunt fingernails dig into his shoulders. I part my legs as his body comes closer to me. I need him.
He pulls away, breaking our kiss and leaving me wanting more. I don’t know why I need his comforting touch. But I do. I need this pain to go away, this hurt in my chest. And Kane can do that for me. I need him.
“Please,” I whisper. My chest heaves as his lustful eyes look down at me. He tries to back away, and tears threaten to burn my eyes. He doesn’t want me. Why would he? I’m tainted. I’ve never been touched by a man before, other than raped. They took my innocence. Tears prick at the back of my eyes, and I have to close my eyes to stop them from falling. They took everything from me. But I could give my body to him. I want to. I want to feel what it’s supposed to be like.
I risk his anger and plead again, “Please.” I don’t know how I’ll be able to live if he denies me. I can’t stand this pain. It feels like my chest is caving in on me. My throat closes, and I swallow the lump in my throat as he sits up and shakes his head.
“I won’t take advantage of you.” His denial chills my body. My arms cross and I turn to the side. I struggle to breathe.
What’s wrong with me?
I’m ruined.
“Please, please,” I whisper into the pillows. My eyes burn, but the tears don’t come. I need to feel something other than this. I’m ashamed and humiliated to beg like this and be denied. But I should’ve expected it. If he wanted me that way, he would’ve had me already.
A shadow covers my body as Kane moves to lie behind me. He pulls me to his chest, but I stiffen. He feels sorry for me. But that’s all he feels. He pities me, but there’s no attachment. I tense as he kisses my neck.
And like a fool, I beg again. “Please, Kane.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.” His lips tickle my neck as he breathes his words.
I roll over and brace my hands on his chest as I lean against him. His dark eyes are a storm of sadness, but I can still see a spark of desire. I push myself into his chest and crush my lips against his.
Please don’t deny me. I moan as he kisses me back with passion. Yes! He rolls me onto my back and hovers over me.
I break the kiss and reach lower, needing to feel him. His hand catches my wrist, stopping me. “Please, Kane. I need you.” His gaze is haunted, but I see that same spark of desire growing stronger. “I need you to take their touch away.”
As soon as the words leave my lips his hands grip my hips, pinning me down. His lips push against mine. My hands tangle in his hair as I deepen my kiss. His fingers tickle my skin as they slide up under my shirt. A shudder runs through my body as his fingers just barely graze the sides of my breasts. I break our embrace as he pulls my shirt over my head.
I open my eyes and take in the sight of him, and see him doing the same with me. His muscular body ripples as he leans forward and takes my nipple into his mouth. His hands roam my body and stop at my hips. He gently bites my nipple and pulls back before letting it go. My pussy heats and my back arches, loving his touch. He pushes the pajama bottoms down my hips and kisses my lower belly as he takes them off of me completely.
He slowly pushes his own pants down with his eyes focused on my body. His plump lips are parted. His breathing is heavy. And the only thing sparking in his dark eyes is lust. His cock springs free and my eyes are drawn to it as he strokes it once.
Fuck. He’s big. Holy hell. My thoughts must be evident on my face, because I hear him chuckle as he moves forward. He crawls toward me on the bed and I part my legs for him. My pussy clamps in anticipation. But the feeling of nothing makes me roll my hips and moan with need.
As he hovers over me, the rough pad of his thumb gently strokes my throbbing clit. My eyes widen, and my lips part in a silent scream. Fuck yes! My head thrashes to the side as waves of building pleasure threaten to crash down on me. Fuck. I breathe out heavily. I’m so close already.
“Cum for me.” He whispers his command as his deft fingers pinch around the hardened nub. And I obey.
His lips push against mine and trap my scream of ecstasy. My body heats and tingles. The pleasure is almost paralyzing.
He pulls back as he lines up the head of his dick at my hot entrance. “Good girl.” My body cools as my pussy tries to clamp around the tiniest bit of his large erection. I can feel how smooth and velvety the skin of his dick is as he slides it up my folds and pushes it against my sensitive clit.
I push my hips forward. I want him in me. I need him.
My lips part as he pushes in, stretching my walls. Absolute pleasure mixes with a slightly painful feeling as his dick moves deeper inside of me, pushing against my cervix. I breathe in through my nose as my mouth hangs open. It feels so good. I want more. At the same time, I feel the need to get away.
A cold sweat breaks out along every inch of my skin as he pushes in even deeper. “Fuck,” I moan into the hot air, as my head falls back. He pulls out slightly and my head whips forward, my eyes locked on his.
“More.” I push the word out, needing to feel that again. He bites his lip and leans forward, settling his forearm next to my head. His chest brushes against my sensitive nipples, and I want to move from the heated sensation that’s directly connected to my clit, but his hand grips my hip and pins me down.
His lips brush against mine in a passionate but quick kiss. He takes my bottom lip between his teeth and gives me what I want, rocking into my heat slowly and pushing the head of his dick deep into my pussy. Filling every inch. Every nerve ending sparks with need. My body heats and cools too quickly.
“More,” I moan, tilting my head to the side. He takes my lips with his and does the same. Over and over he thrusts into me with a slow, torturous, steady pace. My release rises higher and higher. The building sensation is so intense. I nearly fear the crash of my imminent orgasm threatening to consume me.
“Harder,” I beg. “Faster.” The words escape my lips in a desperate murmur.
But he hears them.
And he gives me what I ask.
His hips thrust hard against mine and he buries himself to the hilt. My nails claw at the sheets as I scream my pleasure. Again and again. Faster and faster he thrusts into me. His hand pushes against my leg, opening me up to him even more.
Pushing his hard length deep inside of me, his lips barely touch mine as he says, “Cum for me.” His hand smacks hard against my
clit, and my pussy spasms around his dick. Wave after wave of pleasure rocks through my body as he kneels back on his shins and grips my hips with both of his hands as he pumps in and out of me relentlessly.
Every inch of my skin is alive and tingling with infinite pleasure. He pounds into me, ripping through my orgasm. He pistons his hips all the way in and almost all the way out, over and over. My breasts bounce with each pounding fuck and my mouth opens with a silent scream.
I watch his muscles ripple with each thrust. The dim light shining through the windows leaves a contrast of shadows on his rigid, muscular chest. His dark eyes look down at me as he fucks me like he owns my body. The thought makes my pussy soak with arousal. He is the definition of power and lust. And I am his.
Fuck! Heat swirls deep in my belly. My body seems to ignite, and the tips of my toes and fingers go numb.
“Good girl.” He continues to pound into me. “Cum on my dick again.” His low baritone voice commands me as he mercilessly thrusts into me. I lose all sense of feeling. And then everything crashes down on me. My body thrashes beneath him and he thrusts all of himself deep inside of me. Hot waves of cum fill me as my body tenses with the overwhelming sensation.
I struggle to breathe as my orgasm hits me with near violence. My fingers dig deep into the sheets and mattress, and my heels dig into his ass, holding him there. I'm loving the intense pleasure.
His strong arms wrap around my sensitive body as he pulls out of me. He lies on his side and pulls me close to him. My body shivers without my consent as he kisses my hair. He pulls the covers around me and then kisses my cheek. I look up into his eyes and breathe slowly. He closes his eyes and leans down, pressing his lips to mine.
My heart clenches in my chest. A different kind of pain I’ve never felt before rises to the surface as his thumb gently brushes against my jaw. I feel the tears coming, so I break away and bury my head into his chest.
Good Girl: Valetti Crime Family (A Bad Boy Mafia Romance) Page 9