by Wu Cheng-En
“Master,” said the little devils, “where is your voice coming from?”
“I'm just in front of you, aren't I?” said Monkey. The little devils stretched their hands out and felt him.
“We can hear you but we still can't see you. Where are we, Master?”
“Don't fidget,” said Monkey, hoodwinking them, “you're on the coast of the Bohai Sea. One slip and you'd fall for seven or eight days before hitting the bottom.”
The little devils were panic-struck. “Enough, enough. Let the sky out again. Now we know how it's put away. If you go on a moment too long and we fall into the sea we'll never get home.”
Splendid Monkey. As they were both convinced he said another spell that had an impact on Prince Nezha, who rolled the banner up again, revealing the noonday sun once more. “Fantastic,” exclaimed the little devils in delight, “fantastic. If we don't do a swap for this treasure we won't be looking after our family's interest.”
Dexterous Ghost handed over the gourd and Skilful Beast produced the vase. When they gave them both to Monkey he gave them his imitation gourd. The exchange had now been made, but Monkey wanted it to be final, so he plucked a hair from under his navel, blew a magic breath on it, and turned it into a copper coin. “Boys,” he said, “take this coin and buy a sheet of paper.”
“Why?” they asked.
“We'll write a legal contract for the exchange of your two man-holding treasures for my sky-holder,” said Monkey. “We each need a written agreement to prevent later regrets with the passage of time.”
“But there's no brush or ink here to write a contract with,” said the two little devils. “Let's swear an oath instead.”
“What sort of oath?” asked Monkey. ”
We exchange our two man-holding treasures for your sky-holder,” said the devils, “and if we ever have any regrets may we be struck with pestilence in all four seasons.”
“I certainly won't have any regrets,” chuckled Monkey. “If I do, may I too be struck with pestilence in all four seasons.” Having sworn his oath he leapt up, his tail in the air, and landed in front of the Southern Gate of Heaven, where he thanked Prince Nezha for helping him with the banner. The prince reported back to the palace and returned the banner to the True Martial God, leaving Monkey standing amid the stars and clouds, gazing at the little devils.
If you don't know how things turned out, listen to the explanation in the next installment.
Chapter 34
The Demon King's Cunning Causes the Mind-Ape Trouble
The Great Sage Wins the Treasures Through Improvisation
With the imitation gourd in their hands the two little devils were quarrelling over who should examine it when they looked up and saw that Monkey had disappeared. “Brother,” said Skilful Beast, “even immortals tell lies sometimes. He said that when we'd swapped the treasures he would make us into immortals. How come he's vanished without a word?”
“We got ourselves a very good bargain,” said Dexterous Ghost, “and he would not dare disappear. Pass the gourd over-I want to put the sky in it and try it out.” He tossed the gourd into the air, but it came crashing down again, to the distress of Skilful Beast, who asked, “Why won't it take in the sky? Could it be that it was Sun the Novice disguised as an immortal, and that he swapped an imitation gourd for our real one?”
“Nonsense,” said Dexterous Ghost. “Sun the Novice is crushed under those three mountains. How could he possibly have got out? Pass the gourd over. I'll say the words of the spell he made and we'll put the sky inside.” He too then threw the gourd up into the air, saying, “If there's so much as a hint of a refusal I'll be coming up to the Hall of Miraculous Mist to give battle.” The gourd hit the ground before he could even finish saying the spell.
“The sky hasn't gone in,” they both said, “it must surely be a fake.”
Up in the sky the Great Sage Sun Wukong could hear every word they said and see all that was happening while they made this commotion. For fear that they would go on too long and let the news out where it mattered he shook himself and put the hair that had been turned into a gourd back on his body, leaving both the little devils completely empty-handed.
“Give me the gourd, brother,” said Dexterous Ghost.
“You give it me,” said Skilful Beast. “Heavens! It's disappeared!”
They both started to search wildly on the ground and in the grass, putting their hands in their sleeves and in their tunics, but it was nowhere to be found.
“Whatever shall we do,” said the two horror-struck little devils, “whatever shall we do? His Supreme Majesty gave them to us to catch Sun the Novice with. Now we haven't caught him and the treasures have disappeared. We can't report this to him or he'll have us beaten to death. Whatever are we going to do?”
“Let's run away,” said Skilful Beast.
“Where to?” asked Dexterous Ghost.
“Anywhere,” said Skilful Beast, “because if we go back and say that we've lost the treasures that'll obviously be the end of us.”
“No,” said Dexterous Ghost, “don't let's run away. Let's go back. Both their majesties are usually very fond of you, and I'll put in a word for you. If they are prepared to make allowances they'll spare your life. Even if we can't talk them out of having us beaten to death, at least they'll do it there, and we won't be caught between two stools. Let's go back.” Having made their minds up the two little demons set out back to their own mountain.
Monkey, watching them heading back from where he was up in the sky, shook himself and turned into a fly that flew down and followed them. Where, you may wonder, did he put his treasures now that he was a fly? Had he left them on the path or hidden them in the grass someone might have found them and taken them, and all his efforts would have been for nothing. So he kept them on his person. But a fly is only the size of a bean: how could he find room for them? Because those two treasures of his, like his gold-banded cudgel, were As-You-Will Buddha treasures that grow or shrink with you. That was why he could keep them on. He went buzzing along after the devils. Before long he was inside the cave, where the two demon kings were sitting and drinking.
The two little devils went up to them and knelt down. Monkey perched on the doorframe, listening. “Your Majesties,” said the little devils.
“So you're back,” said the Junior Demon King, putting down his cup.
“Yes,” said the little devils.
“Have you got Sun the Novice?” was the next question. The two little devils banged their heads on the ground, not daring to reply. The old devils asked again, and still they dared not answer, but just kept banging their heads on the ground.
Only when they had been asked this several more times did they prostrate themselves and say, “Forgive us. We deserve to die a thousand times. Forgive us. We were taking the treasures into the mountains when we met an immortal from Mount Penglai. He asked us where we were going and we told him we were off to catch Sun the Novice. When the immortal heard about the Sun the Novice he said he was angry with him too, and wanted to come along and help. We never asked him to, but we told him all about how we were going to put Sun into the treasure. The immortal had a gourd too that the whole sky could be put into. Because we were greedy to do our family a good turn we swapped our man-holder for his sky-holder. At first we offered a gourd for a gourd, but then Skilful Beast threw the vase in for good measure. But his immortal's treasure was not for the mortal likes of us. We were trying it out when gourd and immortal both disappeared. We beg you to spare us the deaths we deserve.”
At this the Senior Demon King thundered, “Damn it, damn it. It was Sun the Novice disguised as an immortal to trick them out of you. That monkey has enormous magic powers and has knows people everywhere. What hairy little god let him out to con our treasures out of us?”
“Please calm yourself, brother,” said the Junior Demon King.
“That ape is the bloody limit. With all those powers it should have been enough for him to escape.
Why did he have to trick us out of our treasures? If I don't have the powers to catch him then I'll never be a monster on the road West again.”
“How are you going to get him?” asked the Senior King.
“We had five treasures,” said the Junior King, “so even after losing two we have three left with which we can and must capture him.”
“What three treasures?” asked the Senior King.
“The Seven-star Sword and the Plantain Fan that I carry with me,” the Junior King replied, “and the Dazzling Golden Cord that's kept at our old mother's place in the Crushed Dragon Cave in Crushed Dragon Mountain. We should now send a couple of little devils to invite our mother to a meal of the Tang Priest's flesh and ask her to bring the Dazzling Golden Cord to catch Sun the Novice with.”
“Which ones should we send?” asked the Senior King.
“Not rubbish like those two,” replied the Junior King, who then shouted at Dexterous Ghost and Skilful Beast to get up.
“What luck,” they said. “We weren't beaten and we weren't sworn at-we've been let off.”
“Send for my regular attendants Mountain Tiger and Ocean Dragon,” ordered the Junior King. The two of them knelt before him while he gave them his instructions. “You must be very cautious.”
“We'll be cautious,” they replied.
“And careful.”
“We'll be careful,” they replied.
“Do you know the way to our mother's home?” he asked.
“We do,” they replied.
“In that case go as soon as you can. When you get to the old lady's place bow to her very respectfully, then invite her to a meal of the Tang Priest's flesh and ask her to bring the Dazzling Golden Cord with her to catch Sun the Novice.”
The two demons obediently hurried off, unaware that Monkey had heard every single word. He spread his wings and flew till he caught up with Mountain Tiger and settled on him. After about a mile he was going to kill the pair of them when he reflected, “Killing them would be no problem, but I don't know where the old lady keeps her Dazzling Golden Cord. I'd better question them before killing them.”
Splendid Monkey! He flew buzzing away from the two little devils and let them get a good hundred paces ahead. He then changed himself with a shake into another little devil with a fox-skin cap and a tigerskin kilt worn upside-down, who hurried after them and called, “Wait a moment, travelers.”
Ocean Dragon looked back and asked, “Where are you from?”
“My dear brother,” Monkey replied, “don't you even recognize members of your own household?”
“You're not one of us,” said the little devils.
“What do you mean?” said Monkey. “Take another look and see if you can recognize me.”
“You're a stranger,” they replied, “and we've never met.”
“That's right,” Monkey said, “you've never met me. I'm one of the outside staff.”
“Well then,” the little devils replied, “we would never have met you, sir. Where are you going?”
“His Majesty told me,” Monkey said, “that he'd sent you two gentlemen to invite the old lady to a meal of the Tang Priest's flesh. You were to ask her to bring the Dazzling Golden Cord along to catch Sun the Novice. He's worried that you two would dawdle and misbehave yourselves and mess things up, so he sent me along too to hurry you up.” As he knew all the details the two little devils were not at all suspicious: they believed that Monkey really was one of them. They rushed along in a great hurry for about three miles.
“This is too fast,” said Monkey. “How far have we gone?”
“About five miles,” said the little devils.
“And how much further is there to go?”
“Just to the black wood over there,” said Ocean Dragon, pointing it out. Monkey looked up to see a dark stretch of woodland not far away. The old demon must live somewhere nearby, he thought; so he stopped to let the little devils get ahead of him, pulled out his cudgel, rushed after them; and took a swipe at their legs. Unfortunately he hit them so hard that he turned the two little devils into mincemeat.
He hid himself deep in the undergrowth beside the path, pulled out one of his hairs, blew on it, said “Change!” and turned it into Mountain Tiger. He turned himself into Ocean Dragon. Then the two imitation devils headed for the Crushed Dragon Cave to deliver the invitation to the old lady. Indeed:
Great are the powers of the seventy-two transformations;
Greatest of all is the art of improvisation.
With four or five bounds both of him was in the wood. He searched until he saw a pair of stone doors standing ajar. Not daring to charge in, he shouted, “Open the doors.”
The little she-devil on the doors was so startled that she opened one of them wide. “Where are you from?” she asked.
“We've been sent from the Lotus Flower Cave on Flat-top Mountain with an invitation for the old lady,” said Monkey, and the little she-devil invited both of him in. When he reached the inner doors he peeped round them and saw an old woman sitting in the middle of the cave. Do you know what she looked like?
A map of snow white hair,
Star-shining bright.
A ruddy, wrinkled countenance,
Few teeth, and a majestic manner.
She looked like a chrysanthemum amid the frost,
With a face the color of old pine-trees after rain.
A white silk scarf was wrapped around her head,
And jewels studded her golden ear-rings.
When Sun the Great Sage saw her he did not go in, but covered his face with his hands and started to sob outside the inner doors. Do you know why he was crying? Could it be because he was afraid of her? But even if he had been afraid, crying would have been no use. Besides, he had tricked them out of their treasures and killed the little demons, so what did he have to cry about? He had never shed a single tear the time when he had been put inside nine cauldrons and deep-fried in oil for eight or nine days on end.
It was only the thought of the Tang Priest's suffering in his quest for the scriptures that upset him so badly that he wept as he reflected thus: “I've used my powers to turn into a little demon and come with an invitation for this she-devil. It wouldn't do for me to stay upright when I talk to her: I'll have to kowtow to her. In my life I've only kowtowed to three people: Lord Buddha in the Western Heaven, Bodhisattva Guanyin in the Southern Ocean, and the Master-I kowtowed to him four times when he delivered me from the Double Boundary Mountain, and for him I'd wear out the six blades of my lungs and liver and the three hairs and seven apertures of my heart. But is it really worth banging my head on the ground before this she-devil for a roll of scripture? If I don't, I'll give the game away. This is terrible. I suppose it's only because the master is in trouble that I'll humiliate myself like this.” As he had no choice he rushed in, knelt down, and announced that he was kowtowing to the old lady.
“Get up, my child,” said the she-devil. Monkey was delighted that his announcement had worked. “Where are you from?” the old devil asked.
“I have been sent at the command of the two kings of the Lotus Flower Cave in Flat-top Mountain to invite you, Ma'am, to a meal of the Tang Priest's flesh. They also ask you to bring your Dazzling Golden Cord to capture Sun the Novice with.” The old devil was very pleased indeed.
“What good, dutiful boys,” she said, sending for her carrying-chair.
“Good lord,” said Monkey to himself, “fancy a demon being carried in a chair.” Two she-devils came up from behind with a chair made of fragrant rattan. They set it down outside the doors, then lifted the green gauze curtain. The old devil left the cave and got into the chair. Some young she-devils followed her with comb-boxes, mirrors and stands, towels and a scent box.
“What are all you here for? I'm going to visit my own sons, and there'll be no shortage of people to look after me there. I won't need you lot to fuss over me and natter. Go back in, shut the doors, and look after the place.” All the little demons apar
t from the two chair-porters did indeed go back in. “What are you two messengers called?” asked the old she-devil.
“He's called Mountain Tiger,” Monkey quickly replied, “and I'm Ocean Dragon.”
“You two take the lead and clear the way for me,” said the old she-devil.
“Stinking luck,” thought Monkey. “No scriptures yet, on top of which I've got to be her slave.” As there could be no question of refusing he had to lead the way, chanting loudly, “Lift the chair!”
When he had covered a couple of miles or thereabouts he sat down on the edge of a precipice. When the chair-porters caught him up he suggested, “What about a little rest? Your shoulders must be aching under the weight.” Not realizing that this was a trick the little devils put the chair down. Standing behind it Monkey pulled a hair from his chest and turned it into a sesame bun that he ate as he held it.
“What are you eating, sir?” the chair-porters asked.
“It's a bit awkward to explain,” replied Monkey. “We came a very long way to invite Her Highness, but as I've been given no food I'm hungry. When I've eaten some of these dry rations I brought with me we can be on our way.”
“Give us a bit,” the porters pleaded.
“Come over here, then,” said Monkey. “There's no need to be too careful within the family.”
Unaware of what was up, the little devils crowded round Monkey for a share of his dry rations, whereupon he produced his cudgel. The one he hit on the head was smashed to pulp when trying to ward the blow off; the other, who was only grazed, survived to groan aloud. Hearing these groans the old demon poked her head out from the chair to take a look. Monkey leapt round to the front of the chair and brought his cudgel down on her head, denting her skull and making blood and brains spurt out. Dragging her out of the chair for a good look he found she was really a nine-tailed vixen.
“Vicious brute,” he said, “fancy you having yourself called 'Your Highness'. If you're a 'your highness' then you ought to address me as Supreme Ancestral Lord.” The splendid Monkey King then found her Dazzling Golden Cord, and gloated as he tucked it up his sleeve, “Those lousy demons may have their magical powers, but three of their treasure are mine now.” He then pulled out two more hairs that he turned into doubles of Mountain Tiger and Ocean Dragon, as well as two more that he turned into the chair-porters. He then made himself look like the old lady, sat in the chair, and had it carried straight back the way he had come.