by Wu Cheng-En
“Who ever heard of burglars going in through the gates?” said Pig. “Let's go over the wall so that nobody sees us.” Monkey accepted his suggestion, and with a bound he was on top of the inner wall. Pig jumped up too, then the pair of them crept inside and tried to find their way to the palace gardens.
As they walked along they saw a gate-tower in front of them with triple eaves and white ornaments. On it were two huge words, gleaming bright: ROYAL GARDENS. Going up to it for a closer look Brother Monkey saw that layer after layer of sealing paper had been pasted over the gates, and the locks on them had rusted hard. He then told Pig to get moving. The idiot raised his iron rake and brought it down with all his might on the gates, smashing them to splinters. Monkey was just going to step inside when he was seized with an irresistible urge to leap about and shout, to the horror of Pig who went up to him, grabbed him and said, “You'll be the death of me, brother. Who ever heard of burglars yelling like that? You'll wake them up and get us arrested and handed over to for trial. Then it'll be either a death sentence or being sent home as convicts.”
“Brother,” said Monkey, “do you know why I'm so upset? Just look!
Carved and painted balustrades all in a mess,
Precious pavilions leaning awry.
The sedge and nutweed on the bank are buried.
The peonies and raspberries have been ruined.
Gone is the fragrance of rose and jasmine;
Tree peony and wild lily flower in vain.
Hibiscus and rose of Sharon are overgrown,
And all the precious flowers choked.
The hillocks built from strange-shaped rocks have collapsed;
The fish are dead in the dried-up ponds.
Dry as tinder the pine and bamboo;
Mugwort and wormwood carpet the paths.
Broken the branches of peach and osmanthus,
Twisted the trunks of pomegranate and kerria.
Moss grows on the zigzag way to the bridge:
A desolate garden scene.”
“What are you getting so upset about?” Pig asked. “Let's get on with our bit of business.” Despite his distress Monkey remembered how in his dream the Tang Priest had been told that the well was under a plantain. As he went further he did indeed see a plantain that was most luxuriant, unlike all the other flowers and trees. Indeed:
It was a divine shoot
Born with an empty nature.
Papery strips came from every branch,
And all the leaves wrapped up fragrance.
A thousand fine stands of emerald green,
A touch of red at the heart.
It grieved in the cold of autumn rain;
It withered with fear of the autumn winds.
It was grown through the efforts of the gardener,
Raised through the Creator's work.
Wonderful its value as writing paper,
Marvellous its use for dripping water.
Would that phoenix feathers could have compared;
A phoenix tail was no match for its leaves.
When the ample dew dripped gently
The tree was lightly wreathed in mist.
Its green shade covered the window,
Its jade shadow fell on the frame.
The wild goose could not perch in its fronds,
Nor the charger be tethered to its trunk.
On a frosty day it looked withered;
It was dim in the moonlight.
It could only refresh one in summer's heat
And offer some shelter from the blazing sun.
It lacked the beauty of peach or plum,
Standing lonely to the East of the whitewashed wall.
“Set to, Pig,” said Monkey. “The treasure's buried under the plantain.” The idiot raised his rake in both hands and sent the tree crashing down. Then he rooted in with his snout to a depth of three or four feet, revealing a stone cover.
“We're in luck, brother,” exclaimed the idiot with delight. “There really is a treasure here under this stone cover. I wonder whether it's inside a jar or a box.”
“Lift the cover and we'll see,” said Monkey. With another root of his snout the idiot prized it open. There was a glow of multicolored light, and a bright, white vapor.
“We're in luck, we're in luck,” chortled Pig. “The treasure's shining.”
Going nearer for a closer look they saw that it was in fact the starlight and the moonlight reflected by the water in a well.
“Brother,” said Pig, “you ought to think ahead.”
“What do you mean, think ahead?” asked Monkey.
“This is a well,” said Pig. “If you'd told me back in the monastery that the treasure was hidden in a well I'd have brought a couple of the luggage ropes along with me and we could have worked out a way of letting me down the well. But how am I going to go down there to fetch the thing empty-handed?”
“Are you willing to go down?” Monkey asked.
“I would if I could,” said Pig, “but there's no rope.”
“Take that garment off-I know what to do,” said Monkey with a grin.
“I've got nothing good enough to be called a garment,” said Pig. “The only thing I could take off is this tunic.”
The splendid Great Sage brought out his gold-tipped cudgel, pulled it at both ends, and said, “Grow!” It grew seventy or eighty feet long. “You hold one end, Pig, and I'll lower you in,” said Monkey.
“Let me down till I reach the water, brother, and then stop,” said Pig.
“Understood,” said Monkey. As the idiot clung to the tip of the cudgel Monkey lightly lifted him up and lowered him into the well. Before long Pig had reached the water. As soon as Monkey heard him call out that he was there, Monkey thrust the cudgel down, making the idiot let go of it and tumble in with a splash.
“Heavens, I'm being murdered,” Pig mumbled in the water. “I told you not to let me go when I got to the water, but you pushed me in.”
Monkey pulled his cudgel out and asked with a laugh, “Can you find the treasure, brother?”
“What treasure?” said Pig. “There's only a wellful of water.”
“The treasure's at the bottom,” said Monkey, “so go down and have a feel around.” The idiot, who really was a good swimmer, did a surface dive and plunged down. Wow! The well was extremely deep, so he thrust himself even further down, and was suddenly gazing in astonishment at an ornamental arch on which were written the word WATER CRYSTAL PALACE.
“That's enough of this,” said Pig with horror. “I've taken the wrong turning. I must have blundered into the sea. There are water crystal palaces in the sea, but there couldn't possibly be one in a well.” What Pig did not realize was that this was the water crystal palace of the Dragon King of the Well.
As Pig was talking to himself a patrolling yaksha opened the gates and shot straight back inside again at the sight of him to report, “A disaster, Your Majesty. A monk with big ears and a long snout has just fallen into the well. He's dripping wet and stark naked. He's still alive and is talking for all he's worth.”
The news was a great shock to the Dragon King of the Well, who thought, “This must be Marshal Tian Peng. Yesterday evening the Patroller of the Night came with an edict ordering me to send the soul of the king of Wuji to visit the Tang Priest and ask that the Great Sage Equaling Heaven be sent to capture the fiend. I suppose that the Great Sage and the Marshal must be here now. I must be very polite to them and go straight out to welcome them.”
The dragon king neatened up his clothes and went out through the gates at the head of his watery tribe. “Please come in and take a seat, Marshal Tian Peng,” he called at the top of his voice.
This made Pig feel a great deal happier. “So it's an old friend,” he thought. Without any further thought the idiot went straight into the water crystal palace. He really had no sense of proper behavior, and sat, stark naked as he was, in the place of honour.
“Marshal,” said the dragon king, “I
hear that you have been given a new life, been converted to the Buddhist faith, and are escorting the Tang Priest on his journey West to fetch the scriptures. What bring you here?”
“It's just as you say. My senior fellow-disciple Monkey sends his respects and has told me to come here to ask you for some kind of treasure.”
“Oh dear,” said the dragon king, “we don't have any treasure here. I'm no match for the dragon kings of the Yangtse, Yellow, Huai or Ji rivers, who can fly around, do transformations, and get treasure that way. I've been stuck here for ages, and not been able to broaden my horizons for many a long month, so how could I possibly get any treasures?”
“Stop trying to fob me off,” said Pig. “Bring out whatever you've got.”
“It's true I do have one treasure,” admitted the dragon king, “but I can't move it. Perhaps you would like to come and see it for yourself, Marshal.”
“Splendid, splendid, splendid,” said Pig. “I really must have a look.”
The idiot followed as the dragon king led the way. As they left the halls of the water crystal palace they saw a body six feet long lying in an open corridor. “There's the treasure,” said the dragon king, pointing to it. When Pig took a closer look he saw to his astonishment that it was the body of a king stretched ramrod-straight and wearing a heaven-touching crown, a robe of yellow ochre, no-worry shoes and a belt of Lantain jade.
“This is no good at all,” chuckled Pig, “no good at all. Can't call that a treasure. I remember that when I was an ogre in the mountains I often used to make a meal out of things like that. Never mind how many of them I've seen-I've eaten a lot. There's no way you could call that a treasure.”
“There are some things you don't know, Marshal,” said the dragon king. “It's the body of the king of Wuji. When he fell into the well I put a face-preserving pearl on him and he has not decomposed. If you were to carry the body up to see the Great Sage Equaling Heaven, and if it could be brought back to life, then you'd get anything you asked for, never mind just treasures.”
“If what you say is right and I carry him up for you, tell me how much you'll pay me for arranging his funeral,” Pig said.
“Honestly, I don't have any money,” the dragon king replied.
“So you like making people work for nothing, do you?” said Pig. “No money, no carriage.”
“If you won't, then please be on your way,” replied the dragon king. Pig left with two hefty yakshas who carried the body outside the palace gates, where they put it down and removed the water-repelling pearl.
At once there was a watery noise. Pig turned straight back to look, but the water crystal palace had disappeared. After feeling the king's corpse he floundered around until he was weak from exhaustion, then surfaced and took hold of the wall of the well. “Brother,” he yelled, “lower the cudgel and rescue me.”
“Got a treasure?” asked Monkey.
“No way,” said Pig. “All I found under the water was the Dragon King of the Well who wanted me to carry a corpse up. When I refused he saw me out and the water crystal palace disappeared. I could only grasp that corpse. I was in such a panic that I went weak all over and I can't move it. Brother, for goodness' sake rescue me.”
“But that is the treasure,” said Monkey. “Why didn't you bring it up?”
“I knew he'd been dead for ages,” said Pig, “so what would have been the point?”
“If you won't bring it up I'm going back,” said Monkey.
“Where to?” Pig asked.
“Back to the monastery and our master to go to bed,” replied Monkey.
“Can't I come?” said Pig.
“You're welcome if you can climb out, but if you can't, tough luck,” said Monkey. This threw Pig into a panic as he could not climb out.
“Just think,” he called, “a city wall is hard enough to climb. This well narrows towards the top. It's got round, overhanging walls, all overgrown with very slippery moss because nobody's drawn water from it for years. How d'you expect me to climb it? Brother, don't forget we're good friends. I'm going down to get it.”
“Good,” said Monkey. “Bring it up quick and we'll go back to bed.” The idiot then did another surface dive and plunged straight down. He groped around till he found the body, dragged it over and carried it up till he surfaced again.
“I've brought it up, brother,” Pig called as he supported himself at the side of the well. When Monkey took a good look and saw that Pig really had brought the body up he lowered the gold-banded cudgel back into the well. Pig was so angry that he opened his mouth and bit on the cudgel while Monkey gently lifted him out.
Pig put the corpse down, retrieved his own clothes, and put them back on. Monkey examined the king's face and saw that it was exactly as it had been in life. “Brother,” he said, “he's been dead three years. Why is his face so well preserved?”
“You wouldn't know about that,” said Pig. “The Dragon King of the Well told me that he'd used a face-preserving pearl to stop the body from decomposing.”
“What luck,” said Monkey, “what luck. He hasn't had his revenge yet, and we're going to succeed. Put him over your shoulder, brother.”
“Where shall I take him?” Pig asked.
“Take him to see the master,” Monkey replied.
“What a way to treat me,” grumbled Pig, “what a way. I was fast asleep when that baboon used his slippery tongue to fool me with that talk of a bit of business. Now I've done it for him I've got to carry this dead body. All this dirty water is dripping down on me and making my tunic filthy. There's nobody to wash it for me. The patches on the shoulders will get damp on overcast days. I won't possibly be able to wear it.”
“You carry him to the monastery,” said Monkey, “and I'll give you something else to wear instead.”
“You're shameless,” said Pig. “You have well-nigh nothing to wear yourself and you talk of giving me something else.”
“If you're going to moan like this then don't carry it,” said Monkey.
“I won't then,” said Pig.
“Then put your ankles out for twenty strokes of the cudgel,” said Monkey.
“But, brother, your cudgel hits very hard,” protested Pig in panic. “Twenty strokes and I'll be like this king.”
“If you don't want a beating then get on with carrying him,” said Monkey. As he really was afraid of a beating Pig dragged the body over, put it across his shoulder and walked out of the palace gardens with an ill grace.
The splendid Great Sage made magic with his hands, said a spell, and blew towards the direction of the wind trigram. At once a tremendous gust of wind plucked Pig out of the palace grounds and over the city wall and moat. The wind then fell, dropping the pair of them on the ground to continue on their way more slowly. The idiot, who was still feeling very hard done by and wanted to get his own back on Monkey, said to himself, “That ape put one over on me, and when we get back to the monastery I'm going to get my own back on him. I'll tell the master that Monkey can bring the body back to life. When he fails the master will say the Band-tightening Spell and all the brains will be squeezed out of that ape's head. That's the only way I'll be satisfied. No, that's no good,” he went on to think as he walked along. “If I ask him to revive the body that'll be too easy for him. He'll only have to call on the King of Hell and ask for the king's soul back. The best way will be to ban him from going to the Underworld. He'll have to bring the king back to life in the world of the living.”
While he was still thinking these thoughts he arrived back at the monastery gates. He went straight in, flung the corpse to the ground right in front of the doors to the meditation hall, and shouted, “Master, come and see a freak.” The Tang Priest, unable to sleep, was talking to Friar Sand about how Monkey had tricked Pig into going and how long they'd been gone when he heard Pig's shout. The Tang Priest got straight out of bed and said, “See what?”
“Brother Monkey's grandpa, and I've had to carry him back,” said Pig.
; “You dreg-guzzling idiot,” said Monkey. “I've got no grandpa.”
“Well, brother,” replied Pig, “if he isn't your grandpa, why did you make me carry him? It was damned hard work.”
When Sanzang and Friar Sand opened the doors to look they saw that the king's face was quite unchanged from what it had been in life. “Your Majesty,” said the Tang Priest sorrowfully, “who knows in what earlier life you earned the wizard's hatred? That must be why when you met in this one he murdered you and snatched you from your wives and children unbeknown to any of the civilian or military officials. What a pity it was that in their ignorance your wives and children should never have burnt incense and offered tea to your spirit.” He broke into sobs and his tears poured down like rain.
“What's his death to you?” asked Pig, laughing at Sanzang. “He's not your father or grandfather, so why weep for him?”
“Disciple,” sighed Sanzang, “compassion is the fundamental quality of a monk, and helping others is a monk's way. How can you be so hard-hearted?”
“I'm not hard-hearted,” said Pig. “Monkey told me that he could bring this body back to life. Otherwise I wouldn't have carried it here.” The venerable elder, as easily swayed as ever, was taken in by the idiot.
“Wukong,” he called, “if you have the power to bring this king back to life, it would be a case of saving a single human life being better than building a seven-storied pagoda. For us it would be even better than worshipping the Buddha on Thunder Peak.”
“Don't believe that idiot's nonsense, Master,” said Monkey. “By the time people have been dead for three weeks, then five weeks, and finally for seven hundred days, they've paid for all their sins in this life and go off to be reborn. He's been dead for three years now. He's beyond saving.”
At this the Tang Priest said, “Oh well, forget it.” Pig was still burning with a sense of injustice. “Master,” he said, “don't be taken in by him. He's talking rubbish. You just recite your spell and I guarantee he'll bring the king back to life for you.” The Tang Priest did indeed say the Band-tightening Spell, which squeezed Monkey so badly that his eyes bulged and his head ached.