by Wu Cheng-En
But instead of chasing him the evil monster said, “Off you go then. I won't fight you any more. I'm going to write invitations for my guests.”
Friar Sand emerged from the waves snorting with fury. “Brother,” he said when he saw Monkey, “that monster's outrageous.”
“You were down a long time,” said Monkey. “Is there an evil spirit? Did you find the master?”
“There's a pavilion down there,” said Friar Sand, “with 'Palace of the God of the Black River in the Hengyang Valley' written over it. I hid there and listened to him talking. He told his underlings to wash the metal steamer ready to cook the master and Brother Pig and sent them to invite his uncle for a birthday feast. It made me so angry that I started beating at his doors. The monster came out with his flail of pieces of bamboo-shaped steel and fought me for ages. We must have gone thirty rounds without either of us coming out on top. I pretended to be beaten to lure him out here so that you could help me, but he was too clever to come after me. He went back in to write invitations, so I came out.”
“What sort of evil being is he?” Monkey asked.
“He looks a bit like a big soft-shelled turtle,” said Friar Sand. “If he's not one of those he's an alligator.”
“I wonder who his uncle is,” said Monkey.
Before the words were out of his mouth an old man emerged from a bend in the river, knelt at a great distance from them, and said, “The God of the Black River kowtows to the Great Sage.”
“Weren't you the evil spirit who rowed the boat?” said Monkey. “Trying to fool us again, are you?”
The old man wept and kowtowed as he replied, “I'm no monster, Great Sage. I'm the real god of this river. The evil spirit came here from the Western Ocean on a flood tide during the fifth month last year. He fought me, and as I'm so old I was no match for him, so he seized my Palace of the God of the Black River in the Hengyang Valley, and killed many of my watery tribe. I had to go to the sea to bring a case against him. But the Dragon King of the Western Sea is his uncle, so of course he threw my case out and told me to turn my palace over to the monster. I tried submitting a protest to Heaven, but I was too humble a river god to obtain an audience with the Jade Emperor. Now that you are here, Great Sage, I've come to pay my respects and submit to you. I beg you to avenge me.”
“From what you say the Dragon King of the Western Sea is in the wrong too,” said Brother Monkey. “Now that the monster has captured my master and my fellow-disciple, announced that he's going to steam them and invited his uncle, I've got to capture him. It's a good thing you came to tell me. Very well then, river god, you keep an eye on things with Friar Sand here while I go to the sea to arrest that dragon and make him capture the monster.”
“I'm very grateful, Great Sage,” said the river god.
Monkey went by somersault cloud straight to the Western Ocean, where he landed, made water-repelling magic with his hands, and parted the waves. He saw a black fish spirit who was carrying a golden invitation box shoot upstream like an arrow. Monkey met him head-on and smashed his skull open with a single blow of his iron cudgel, sending the poor spirit's brains flying and splitting his cheeks apart, and with a loud noise it emerged from the water. Monkey opened the box and found in it an invitation that read:
Your Excellency Second Uncle Ao,
Your nephew Tuo Jie bows in greeting and is deeply grateful for your kind regards. Today I have captured two priests from the East who are great rarities. Not daring to consume them myself, and remembering that your birthday is imminent, I have arranged a simple banquet to wish you eternal life. I beg that you honour me with your illustrious presence.
“That fellow has given me all the evidence I need for my case,” chuckled Monkey, tucking the invitation in his sleeve and carrying on his way. By then a yaksha patrolling the sea had noticed Monkey and rushed straight back to the crystal palace to report to the dragon king, “Lord Monkey, the Great Sage Equaling Heaven, is here.”
The dragon king Ao Shun led his watery tribe from the palace to welcome Monkey: “Great Sage, won't you come into my humble palace for a while and take a cup of tea?”
“I've never had a single cup of your tea,” said Monkey, “but you've drunk my wine before now.”
To this the dragon king replied with a smile, “Great Sage, you have always been a faithful follower of the Buddha and have never touched meat or alcohol. You've never invited me to drinks.”
“You may never have been over for drinks, but you're already in trouble for being a boozer,” said Monkey.
“How am I in trouble?” asked Ao Shun with horror. Monkey produced the invitation and handed it to the dragon king.
At the sight of this the dragon king was scared out of his wits. He fell to his knees in panic, kowtowed and said, “Forgive me, Great Sage. That awful boy is my younger sister's ninth son. My brother-in-law, her husband, sent the wrong amount of wind and cut down on the rain. A heavenly edict was sent to the human prime minister Wei Zheng, who beheaded him in a dream. I brought my sister here because she had nowhere else to live and bring the boy up. Two years ago a disease killed her, and as the boy was then homeless I sent him to nourish his nature and cultivate the truth in the Black River. I never imagined he'd commit such terrible sins, and now I'll send people to arrest him.”
“How many fine sons did your sister have?” asked Monkey. “Are they all monsters?”
“Nine,” the dragon king replied. “The other eight have turned out well. The eldest is the Little Yellow Dragon, and he lives in the Huai River. The second is the Little Black Dragon who lives in the River Ji. The third is the Blue-backed Dragon who occupies the Yangtse. The Red-whiskered Dragon is the fourth son, and he holds the Yellow River. The fifth is the Vain-effort Dragon who looks after the bell for the Lord Buddha. Guardian Dragon is the sixth, and he sits guarding the roof of the Heavenly Palace. Respectful Dragon is the seventh; he holds up the winged column at the Jade Emperor's court. The eighth is Clam Dragon who lives with my eldest brother on Mount Tai. The youngest, Alligator Dragon, has had no particular duties since he is still young. He was only sent to the Black River to nourish his nature last year. He hasn't yet won himself any fame or been transferred and given a job elsewhere. I never expected that he would disobey me by offending you, Great Sage.”
When Monkey heard this he laughed and said, “How many husbands has your sister had?”
“Only one,” Ao Shun replied, “the Dragon King of the Jing River. After his execution she lived here as a widow until she died of an illness the year before last.”
“How could one husband and one wife have had so many little bastards?” Monkey asked.
“It's as the saying goes, there are nine kinds of dragons born, and each one is different,” Ao Shun replied.
“I lost my patience just now,” said Monkey. “With this invitation as evidence I was going to submit a complaint to the Heavenly Court and charge you with conspiring with a monster to kidnap. But from what you tell me the wretch refused to follow your advice, so I'll let you off this time, partly out of respect for your elder brother and partly because that wretch is too young to know any better. Besides, you didn't know what was happening. But you must send someone at once to arrest him and rescue my master. Then we'll decide what to do.”
Ao Shun then told his son Mo'ang, “Take five hundred of our strongest prawn and fish soldiers to arrest and charge Alligator immediately. At the same time arrange a banquet as an apology to the Great Sage.”
“There's no need to worry so, Your Majesty,” said Monkey. “I've already told you I'll let you off, so why bother with the banquet? But I would like to go with your son as my master has been wronged and my fellow-disciples are waiting for me.”
The dragon king tried hard to make him stay, but without success. Then a dragon maiden came in with tea, a cup of which Monkey drank standing up before taking his leave of the old dragon and leaving the Western Sea with Mo'ang and his troops. Soon they were back at the Black R
iver, where Monkey said, “Catch the demon, Your Royal Highness, while I wait on the bank.”
“Don't worry, Great Sage,” said Mo'ang. “I'll arrest him show him to you, Great Sage, to sentence and punish, and return your master to you. Only then will I take him back to the ocean and see my father.”
Monkey took leave of him cheerfully, recited the water-repelling spell and made it with his hands, sprang out of the waves, and made straight for the East bank, where Friar Sand and the river god said, “When you went it was by air, so why have you come back from under the water?” Monkey told them all about how he had killed the fish spirit, taken the invitation, charged the dragon king, and brought soldiers back with the dragon prince. Friar Sand was very pleased, and they all stood on the bank waiting.
Prince Mo'ang sent a herald to the gates of the underwater palace to announce to the evil spirit, “Prince Mo'ang, son of the Old Dragon King of the Western Sea, is here.” This news aroused the suspicions of the evil spirit as he sat inside.
“I sent a black fish spirit with an invitation to my uncle some time ago,” he thought, “and I haven't had any answer yet. Why is my cousin here instead?”
As he was thinking, a little demon came in from a river patrol to report, “Your Majesty, there's a detachment of troops camped in the river West of the palace. Their banner says 'Young Marshal Mo'ang, Crown Prince and Son of the Dragon King of the Western Sea.'”
“That cousin of mine is outrageous,” said the monster. “Presumably my uncle couldn't come and sent him to the feast instead, but he didn't have to bring an army with him. Hmm. There must be something up.”
“Little ones,” he said, “get my armor and my steel flail ready in case things turn rough while I go out to greet him and see what's happening.” On hearing the orders all the devils rubbed their hands and got ready.
When the alligator came out he saw a whole force of sea soldiers camped there on the right:
Embroidered sashes and flying banners,
Coloured halberds brighter than the dawn,
Fine swords coldly gleaming,
Spears with many a handsome tassel,
Bows drawn back like the moon,
Arrows like teeth of wolves,
Dazzling broadswords,
Grit-hard maces.
There were whales, turtles, and clams,
Crabs, tortoises, fish and prawns,
All drawn up by size,
Their weapons as dense-packed as a field of hemp.
Unless ordered by a superior officer
None would dare advance upon them.
When the alligator demon saw them he went straight to the gates of their camp and shouted at the top of his voice, “Cousin, I'm waiting for you here with an invitation.”
A conch patrolling the camp went straight to the commander's tent to report, “Your Royal Highness, Alligator Dragon is outside with an invitation.”
The prince felt the helmet on his head, tightened the jeweled belt round his waist, picked up a three-edged mace, and hurried out of the camp. “What invitation do you have for me?” he asked.
Alligator Dragon bowed and replied, “This morning I sent your father an invitation. No doubt he did not think it worth coming and sent you instead. But why did you have to bring an army with you? Why have you encamped here armed to the teeth?”
“What did you invite my father to?” the crown prince asked.
“Since I have been living here as a result of his kindness I have not seen his illustrious countenance for a long time or done my duty by him,” the alligator replied. “Yesterday I caught a priest from the East who has, they say, cultivated his conduct for ten lives in succession. If you eat his body you can live much longer. I wanted to invite uncle to have a look at the priest before I cook him in the steamer as a birthday treat.”
“Complete and utter fool,” yelled the crown prince. “Do you know who that priest is?”
“He's a priest from the Tang who's going to fetch scriptures from the Western Heaven,” the demon replied.
“All you know is that he's a Tang priest,” said the crown prince. “What you don't realize is what powerful disciples he has.”
“He's got one long-snouted one called Pig who I've captured already and I'm going to steam with the Tang Priest,” the alligator demon replied. “There's another disciple called Friar Sand, a dusky fellow with a sinister face who fights with the quarterstaff. He came to my gates yesterday demanding his master. I came out at the head of my river troops and it didn't take me long to see him off with my steel flail. I don't see what's so powerful about him.”
“You still haven't got the message,” the dragon prince replied. “His senior disciple is the Golden Immortal of the Supreme Ultimate, the Great Sage Equaling Heaven who made havoc in Heaven five hundred years ago. He's now escorting the Tang Priest on his way to worship the Buddha and fetch the scriptures in the Western Heaven. He was converted by the compassionate and merciful Bodhisattva Guanyin of Potaraka, who changed his name to Sun Wukong the Novice. Why ever did you have to bring this catastrophe on yourself? He came across a messenger of yours in our ocean, took the invitation, and went straight into our crystal palace to make things very awkward for my father and myself. He has us on a charge of conspiring with evil spirits to kidnap. You'd better bring the Tang Priest and Pig straight to the bank, hand them back to the Great Sage Monkey, and join me in making apologies to him if you want to keep alive. If you even hint at a 'no' you can forget about remaining here in one piece.”
This threw the alligator monster into a terrible rage. “My own cousin taking their side!” he exclaimed. “You'd have me hand the Tang Priest over, but nothing comes that easy in this world. Just because you're scared of him it doesn't mean that I am. If he's really got such powers and he has the guts to go three rounds with me in front of my palace gates I'll give him his master back. If he's no match for me I'll capture him too and cook him with the others. And this time there'll be no guests or relations; I'll fasten the doors, my little ones will sing and dance for me, and I'll sit in the place of honour and have a fine old time bloody well eating them myself.”
“Damned devil,” the crown prince swore back at him, “you're a disgrace. Even if you're not going to regard the Great Sage Monkey as a worthy foe will you dare to fight me?”
“A tough guy is afraid of nobody,” the demon replied. He then called for his armor, at which a host of little devils came forward with his armor and his steel flail. The two of them were now glaring at each other and each wanted to play the hero. The orders were given, the drums rolled, and a fight ensued that was much harder than the one with Friar Sand. What could be seen were:
Dazzling banners,
Gleaming halberds.
The encampment was quickly broken up,
While the gates of the palace were opened wide.
Prince Mo'ang wielded his golden mace;
That alligator parried with his flail.
Fierce were the river soldiers as the cannon roared;
Wild were the ocean warriors as the gong was beaten.
Shrimp fought with shrimp,
And crab with crab.
Whales and giant turtles swallowed red carp;
Bream and carp set mollusks running.
The shark and mullet put the mackerel to flight;
The mussels all panicked when oysters captured clams.
The swordfish barbs were hard as iron rods;
The barracudas needles were sharper than spears.
Sturgeons chased the white eel;
Perch and herring seized the back pomfret.
The river was full of battling demons,
While both side's dragon warriors contended.
The long melee stirred up the waves,
And Crown Prince Mo'ang was better than a vajrapani,
As he roared and struck at the head with his mace,
Capturing the alligator who caused the trouble.
The prince pretended to drop his gu
ard with his three-bladed mace. Not realizing that this was a trick, the evil spirit rushed him, whereupon the crown prince skillfully first struck him a blow with the mace on the right arm that made him stumble, caught up with him, then struck at his feet and set him sprawling.
The ocean soldiers rushed up, seized Alligator, tied both hands behind his back, put an iron chain through his collar bone, hauled him up on the bank, and took him to Monkey, where the prince reported, “Great Sage, I have arrested the alligator demon and am handing him over to you for judgement.”
“You disobedient wretch,” said Monkey when he and Friar Sand saw the demon, “your uncle sent you to live here, build up your nature, and look after yourself. Once you had made your name he was going to transfer you to duties somewhere else. Why did you have to seize the river god's home and become a bully? Why did you use deception to capture my master and my brother? I was going to hit you, but this cudgel of mine hits so hard that a mere touch of it would finish you off. Where have you put my master?”
“Great Sage,” replied the demon, kowtowing ceaselessly, “this humble alligator had never heard of your mighty name. But now I have been arrested by my cousin for my disobedience to him and for my flagrant offences against right. I am endlessly grateful to you, Great Sage, for sparing my life. Your master is still tied up in the water palace. If you would take off the chain and untie my hands I will return to the river and bring him back to you.”
“Great Sage,” said Prince Mo'ang who was standing beside them, “he is a vicious and deceitful beast. If you were to release him he might have evil ideas.”
“I know where his place is,” said Friar Sand. “I'll find the master.”
He and the river god then leapt into the river and went straight to the doors of the water palace, which were wide open and not guarded by a single soldier. Inside the pavilion they saw the Tang Priest and Pig tied up stark naked. Friar Sand quickly untied the master while the river god released Pig. Next they each carried one up to the surface of the water and then to the bank.