He breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Was this wrong in more ways than he could count, and were they just delaying the inevitable? Of course. And did he care? Not really. He’d spent his entire life making sacrifices, catering to the whims of others. This one time he was going to be selfish, take something for himself.
“But then I have to go,” she said. “I have to get on with my life.”
“I understand.” Because he did too, as difficult as that was to imagine. But for now she was his, and he planned to make the most of what little time they had left together.
* * *
“You did what?” Jessy shrieked into the phone, so loud that Vanessa had to hold it away from her ear. “I don’t talk to you for a couple of days and this happens?”
Vanessa cringed. Maybe telling Jessy that she’d slept with Marcus, several times now, hadn’t been such a hot idea after all. But if she didn’t tell someone, she felt as if she would burst.
“You realize I was kidding when I suggested he could be a viable second choice,” Jessy said.
“I know. And it’s not something I planned on happening.”
“He didn’t, you know…force you.”
“God no! Of course not. What is your hang-up about the men in this country being brutes?”
“I’m just worried about you.”
“Well, don’t be. Marcus would never do that. He’s one of the sweetest and kindest men I’ve ever met. It was one hundred percent mutual.”
“But you’ve barely known him a week. You don’t sleep with guys you’ve known a week. Hell, sometimes you make them wait months.”
“I know. And it’s a wonder we held out as long as we did.”
Jessy laughed. “Oh my God. Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?”
“I know, this isn’t like me at all. And the weird thing is, if I could go back and do it differently, I wouldn’t. I’m glad for what happened. And I’m glad I met him. It’s changed me.”
“In five days?”
“It sounds impossible, I know. I have a hard time believing it myself, but I just feel different. I feel…gosh, I don’t know, like a better person, I guess.”
Jessy laughed again. “You’re sleeping with the son of the man you’re supposed to marry, and you feel like a better person?”
It did sound weird when she said it like that. “It’s hard to explain. And though I hate to admit it, I think what you said about Gabriel being a father figure was true. Nothing I do is good enough for my dad, and I guess in a way I transferred my feelings onto Gabriel. Deep down I knew that I didn’t love him the way a wife should love a husband, that I never would. But he seemed to love me so much, and I didn’t want to let him down. But then I met Marcus and something just…clicked. If it hadn’t been for him, I may have made another terrible mistake.”
“So you must really like him.”
If only it were that simple. “That would be a major understatement.”
Jessy was quiet for a second, then she said, “Are you saying that you love him? After five days?”
“Weird, huh?”
“How does he feel?”
She shrugged. “What does it matter?”
“It seems to me like it would matter an awful lot.”
If only. “We can’t be together. How do you think Gabriel would feel if I told him I was dumping him for his son? He might never forgive Marcus.”
“You don’t think Marcus would choose you over his father?”
“It doesn’t matter because I would never ask him to. Nor would I want him to. Family and honor mean everything to Marcus. It’s one of the things I love most about him.”
“So, the thing you love most is what’s keeping you apart.”
“I guess so, yeah.” And the thought of leaving, of giving him up, filled her belly with painful knots, and she knew that the longer she stayed the worse it would be when she left, yet here she still was. “This is making me sad. Let’s talk about something else. How was your trip?”
“It was good,” Jessy said, sounding surprised. “It was actually…fun.”
“His family is nice?”
“Yeah. They’re very small-town, if you know what I mean, and very traditional. Wayne and I had to sleep in separate rooms. They have this big old farmhouse with lots of land and though I’ve always been more of a city girl, it was really beautiful. Hot as hell though.”
Vanessa smiled. “I’m really glad that it went well.”
At least one of them was in a relationship that might actually work.
“I know you don’t want to talk about it,” Jessy said, “but can I just say one more thing about your affair with the prince?”
Vanessa sighed. “Okay.”
“This is going to sound strange. But I’m proud of you.”
It was Vanessa who laughed this time. “I slept with the son of the man I was planning to marry and you’re proud of me?”
“You’re always so hell-bent on making other people happy, but you did something selfish, something for yourself. That’s a huge step for you.”
“I guess I never thought of being selfish as a good thing.”
“Sometimes it is.”
“You know what the hardest part about leaving will be? Mia has become so attached to him, and he really seems to love her. I think he would be an awesome dad.”
“You’ll meet someone else, Vanessa. You’ll fall in love again, I promise.”
Vanessa wasn’t so sure about that. In her entire life she’d never felt this way about anyone, she hadn’t even known it was possible to love someone the way she loved Marcus. To need someone as much as she needed him, yet feel more free than she had in her life. And she just couldn’t imagine it ever happening again. What if Marcus was it? What if he was her destiny? Was it also her destiny to let him go?
Fourteen
Vanessa woke to another message from her father, the third one that he had left in as many days, this one sounding more gruff and irritated than the last two.
“Nessy, why haven’t you called me back? I called the hotel and they said you took a leave of absence. I want to know what’s going on. Have you gotten yourself into trouble again?”
Of course that would be his first assumption, that she had done something wrong. What else would he think? She sighed, not so disappointed as she was resigned to the way things were. And a little sad that he always seemed to see the worst in her.
“Call me as soon as you get this,” he demanded, and that’s where the message ended. She dropped her phone on the bedside table and fell back against the pillows.
Beside her, Marcus stirred, waking slowly, the way he always did. Or at least, the last three mornings when they woke up together, he had. First he stretched, lengthening every inch of that long, lean body, then he yawned deeply, and finally he opened his eyes, saw her lying there next to him, and gave her a sleepy smile, his hair all rumpled and sexy. Creases from his pillow lined his cheek.
Watching this ritual had become her new favorite way to spend her morning. Even though what they were doing still filled her with guilt. She just couldn’t seem to stay away.
“What time is it?” he asked in a voice still gravelly from sleep.
“Almost eight.”
He rolled onto his back and laughed, the covers sliding down to expose his beautiful bare chest. “That makes last night the third night in a row that I slept over seven hours straight. Do you have any idea how long it’s been since I got a decent night’s sleep?”
“I’m that boring, huh?”
He grinned and pulled her on top of him, so she was straddling his thighs, his beard stubble rough against her chin as he kissed her. “More like you’re wearing me out.”
It had rained the past two days and Marcus had decided it would be best to spend them in the palace, in her suite. Wearing as little clothing as possible. They mostly just talked, and played with Mia, and when Mia took her naps, they spent the entire time making love. A few times Vanessa
had even let Karin watch Mia for an extra hour or so, so they had a little more time together. And though it had been a week now, neither Vanessa nor Marcus had brought up the subject of her leaving, but it loomed between them, unspoken. A dark shadow and a constant element of shame that hung over what had been—other than Mia’s birth—the best time of her life. She kept telling herself that when the time was right to leave, they would just know it. So far that time hadn’t come, and deep down she wished it never would.
Marcus was it for her. He was the one, her soul mate, and of that she was one hundred and ten percent sure. For the first time in her life she had no doubts. She wasn’t second-guessing herself, or worrying that she was making a mistake.
She wasn’t exactly sure if he felt the same way. He seemed to, and he clearly didn’t want her to leave, but did he love her? He hadn’t actually said so. But to be fair, neither had she. At this point, what difference did it make? They were just words. Even if he did love her, his relationship with his father had to come first.
After that first time making love, she’d dreaded having to face Gabriel on Skype, sure that he would know the second he saw her face, but while she waited on her computer for over an hour, he’d been a no-show. She’d been more relieved than anything. He’d phoned the next day, apologizing, complaining of security issues, and said it might be better if they limited their calls to voice only. Which actually worked out pretty well for her. Already she could feel herself pulling away.
Their conversations were shorter now, and more superficial. And one day, when Marcus had taken them for a drive to see the royal family’s mountain cabin—although to call the lavish vacation home a cabin was akin to calling the Louvre a cute little art gallery—she’d been out of cell range and had missed his call completely. She hadn’t even remembered to check for a message. And though it was clearly her fault that they hadn’t spoken, he had been the one to apologize the next day. He said he was swamped with work and tending to Trina, and he hadn’t had a chance to call back.
She kept waiting for him to ask her if there was a problem, but if he had noticed any change in their relationship, he hadn’t mentioned it yet. But Trina had been improving, and though she was still very weak, and Gabriel hadn’t felt comfortable leaving her yet, it was only a matter of time.
And then of course she had her father to deal with.
“You look troubled,” Marcus said, brushing her hair back and tucking it behind her ear.
He had an uncanny way of always knowing what she was thinking. “My dad called again.”
He sighed. “That would explain it.”
“He called the hotel and found out that I took a leave, so of course he’s assuming that I’m in some sort of trouble. He demanded that I call him immediately.”
“You should. You should have called him days ago.”
“I know.” She let out a sigh and draped herself across his warm, solid chest, pressing her ear to the center, to hear the thump of his heart beating.
“So do it now.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Stop acting like a coward and just call him.”
She sat up and looked down at him. “I’m acting like a coward because I am one.”
“No, you aren’t.”
Yes, she was. When it came to dealing with her father anyway. “I’ll call him tomorrow. I promise.”
“You’ll call him now,” he said, dumping her off his lap and onto the mattress. Then he got up and walked to the bathroom, all naked and gorgeous, his tight behind looking so squeezable.
He stopped in the doorway, turned to her and grinned. “Now, I’m going to take a shower, and if you want to join me, you had better start dialing.”
The door closed behind him, then she heard the shower switch on. Damn him. He knew how much she loved taking their morning shower together. He brought a change of clothes to her room every night so no one would see him the next morning wearing the same clothes from the night before. He also rolled around in his bed and mussed up the covers so it would look as if he’d slept there. It had to be obvious to pretty much everyone how much time they had been spending together, but if anyone suspected inappropriate behavior, they’d kept it to themselves.
Vanessa sighed and looked over at the bathroom door, then her phone. Well, here goes nothing.
She sat up, grabbed it and dialed her father’s number before she chickened out. He answered on the first ring. “Nessy, where the hell have you been? I’ve been worried sick. Where’s Mia? Is she okay?”
He’d been worried sick about both of them, or just Mia, she wondered. “Sorry, Dad, I would have called you sooner but I’ve actually been out of the country.”
“Out of the country?” he barked, as if that were some unforgivable crime. “Why didn’t you tell me? And where is my granddaughter?”
“She’s with me.”
“Where are you?” he said, sounding no less irate. She knew he was only acting this way because he was worried, and he hated not being in control of every situation every minute. If she gave him hourly reports of her activities he would be ecstatic. And usually when he spoke to her this way it made her feel about two inches tall. Right now, she just felt annoyed.
“I’m in Varieo, you know that little country near—”
“I know where it is. What in God’s name are you doing there?”
“It’s sort of…a work thing.” Because she had met Gabriel at work, right?
“I thought you took a leave from the hotel. Or was that just a fancy way of saying they fired you?”
Of course he would think that.
Her annoyance multiplied by fifty. “No, I was not fired,” she snapped.
“Do not take that tone with me, young lady,” he barked back at her.
Young lady? Was she five?
In that instant something inside of her snapped and she’d had enough of being treated like an irresponsible child. And if standing up for herself meant disappointing him, so be it. “I’m twenty-four, Dad. I’ll take whatever tone I damned well please. And for the record, I deserve the same respect that you demand from me. I am sick to death of you talking down to me, and always thinking the worst of me. And I’m finished with you making me feel as if anything I do is never good enough for you. I’m smart, and successful, and brave, and I have lots of friends and people who love me. So unless you can think of something positive to say to me, don’t bother calling anymore.”
She disconnected the call, and even though her heart was thumping, and her hands were trembling, she felt…good. In fact, she felt pretty freaking fantastic. Maybe Marcus was right. Maybe she really was brave. And though she didn’t honestly believe this would change anything, at least now he knew how she felt.
Her phone began to ring and she jerked with surprise. It was her dad. She was tempted to let it go to voice mail, but she’d started this, and she needed to finish it.
Bracing herself for the inevitable shouting, she answered. “Hello.”
“I’m sorry.”
Her jaw actually dropped. “W-what?”
“I said I’m sorry,” he repeated, and she’d never heard him sound so humbled. She couldn’t recall a single time he’d ever apologized for anything.
“And I’m sorry I raised my voice,” she said, then realized that she had done nothing wrong. “Actually, no, I’m not sorry. You deserved it.”
“You’re right. I had no right to snap at you like that. But when I didn’t hear from you, I was just afraid that something bad had happened to you.”
“I’m fine. Mia is fine. And I’m sorry that I frightened you. We’re here visiting a…friend.”
“I didn’t know you had any friends there.”
“I met him at the hotel. He was a guest.”
“He?”
“Yes, he. He’s…” Oh what the hell, why not just tell him the truth? Since she didn’t really care what he thought at this point anyway. “He’s the king.”
“The king?”
&
nbsp; “Yes, and believe it or not, he wants to marry me.”
“You’re getting married? To a king?” He actually sounded excited. He was finally happy about something she had done, and now she had to burst his bubble. Figures.
“He wants me to marry him, but I’m not going to.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m in love with someone else.”
“Another king,” he joked.
“Um, no.”
“Then who?”
If he was going to blow his top, this would be the time. “I’m in love with the prince. His son.”
“Vanessa!”
She braced herself for the fireworks. For the shouting and the berating, but it never happened. She could practically feel the tension through the phone line, but he didn’t make a sound. He must have been biting a hole right through his tongue. And could she blame him? Sometimes even she couldn’t believe what they were doing.
“You okay, Dad?”
“Just…confused. When did all this happen? How did it happen?”
“Like I said, he was visiting the hotel and we became friends.”
“The king or the prince?”
“The king, Gabriel, and he fell in love with me, but I only ever loved him as a friend. But he was convinced I would grow to love him if I got to know him better, so he invited me to stay at the palace, but then he was called away when I got here. He asked Marcus—he’s the prince—to be my companion and we…well, we fell for each other. Hard.”
“How old is this prince?”
“Um, twenty-eight, I think.”
“And the king?”
“Fifty-six,” she said, and she could practically hear him chomping down on his tongue again. “Which was part of the reason I wasn’t sure about marrying him.”
“I see,” was all he said, but she knew he wanted to say more. He was going to need stitches by the end of this conversation. But she gave him credit for making the effort, and she wished she had confronted him years ago. Though he probably hadn’t been ready to hear it before now. Or maybe she was the one who hadn’t been ready for this. Maybe she needed to make changes first.
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