by Mike Gayle
‘Protect me?’ said Jo, surprised. ‘From what?’
‘From anything and everything that might hurt you,’ Rob told her. ‘I can’t help it. I know there’s no logical reason why I should feel like this.’ He laughed. ‘You’re a grown woman – what can I teach you about avoiding crap men that you haven’t learned from experience? But I still want to save you from getting hurt by guys like Phil or David or anyone else who isn’t good enough for you.’
Jo smiled and put her hand on his. ‘I’ve always known that if Ryan had been alive he would’ve hated me going out with Sean, even though they were such good friends. He was protective of me too. But, Rob, I don’t need another brother to watch out for me. I’ve got one, even though he might not be here. What I do need though is a good friend.’
‘Okay,’ nodded Rob. ‘I’ll be the best friend possible. Starting now. What are your plans for Christmas?’
‘I’ve avoided thinking about it – for the last couple I was at home with Sean. I can’t see myself spending the big day doing the blended-families thing with either of my parents . . . Maybe Kerry and Gary will invite me round if they’re not going to her mum’s in Devon.’
‘Well, feel free to say no but I’d love it if you’d come to us.’
‘That’s sweet of you, Rob, but shouldn’t you clear it with Ashley first? After all, this is going to be your first Christmas together since you moved in with her.’
‘Of course I should, but I’m sure when I explain that you’ll be on your own she’ll be fine with it. After all, you’re practically an orphan. And I’m pretty sure that it says in the rules that you have to be nice to orphans at Christmas. And you wouldn’t be spoiling anything. Ash and I are going away on Boxing Day – she’s booked us a few days at a resort in Gran Canaria so we’ll have plenty of time to be alone then . . . and, anyway, I’m sure if one of her mates was contemplating spending Christmas Day alone she’d have them round to ours in a flash. And I wouldn’t mind – even if it was Lauren and her annoying laugh – because I know how much her mates mean to her. But I’ll run it past her first.’
‘Okay, you’re on,’ said Jo, and kissed his cheek. ‘Thanks, Rob. I have to admit I was getting a bit worried about being on my own over Christmas.’ She paused. ‘Can I ask a favour? It’s just occurred to me that if I visit my mum on New Year’s Day and go on to my dad’s for a few days I’ll be away for over a week. When you get back from Gran Canaria could you pop over to mine and water my plants? I’ll leave you a set of keys.’
‘No problem,’ said Rob. ‘Plus I’ll keep an eye on the place. Watch out for burglars and that.’
‘You’re a real life-saver, do you know that?’
‘It’s nothing,’ said Rob. ‘It’s what good friends do.’
Arrangements
When Rob got home that night all the lights were off. For a second or two he wished with his whole heart that at least one had been on, and that Ashley was in. It was just after eleven thirty and he wasn’t tired. He turned on the TV and surfed the cable channels, then turned it off with a disgruntled snort, picked up the telephone and dialled Ashley’s mobile. He needed to talk to her – now.
‘Hello?’
‘Hi, babe, it’s me,’ he said.
‘I was thinking about you. How was your evening?’
‘Cool,’ said Rob. ‘I met up with Jo for a quick pint in the Lazy Fox.’
‘How is she?’ asked Ashley.
‘Good, I think. Nothing much to report. How’s your night been so far?’
‘Pretty busy. Drunks in need of patching up and a few victims of random violence – the usual pre-Christmas cheer. I can’t wait until we go away. Talking of which, I know you’re going to hate me for doing this without talking it over with you first – and I know I’ve been hinting that I wanted our first Christmas together to be just the two of us – but I’ve had to invite my family for Christmas Day, Mum, Dad, Grandma and Granddad, Michelle and her husband. I’m really sorry.’
‘Look,’ began Rob, ‘about Christmas—’
‘If you’re angry, Rob, I wish you’d just say so rather than putting on that irritating voice. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I’ve invited my family for Christmas without telling you. Now, can we move on?’
Rob laughed. ‘There’s no need to be so defensive, babe. All I was going to say was that it’s fine.’
‘Oh, that’s brilliant! I’m sorry for being so mean.’
‘It’s okay,’ said Rob, ‘but I haven’t finished what I was saying. It’s just that Jo’s going to be on her own at Christmas. Her parents are divorced and both remarried and, well, Christmas at either of theirs would be a nightmare, apparently, so I’ve invited her round for Christmas Day too.’
‘So we’ve got my parents and Jo coming?’ Ashley burst out laughing.
‘What’s so funny?’ asked Rob, confused. ‘You’re not angry, are you?’
‘Of course not,’ giggled Ashley. ‘How could I be? I know I wouldn’t want any of my friends to spend Christmas alone. I’m laughing because my family won’t get it.’
‘What?’
‘You being friends with another girl. My mother still can’t get it into her head that there’s nothing behind me and Neil being friends. It’ll send her into paroxysms of confusion. I can hear her telling Dad, in her best shocked voice, “Well, we certainly didn’t do that sort of thing in my day.” She’ll have a heart-attack.’
‘Do you think I should tell Jo not to come?’
‘No way,’ said Ashley. ‘You can’t let her be on her own at Christmas. It would be awful. I’ve got a better idea. If I’m going to wind my mum up it should be done properly. Why don’t I see what Neil’s up to? If he’s free I’ll get him to come too. Think about it – me and my platonic male friend, you and your platonic female friend, and my parents. And it’ll still be a special Christmas for us because it’ll be done our way with our friends.’
Christmas in Chorlton
‘Jo,’ said Rob, opening the front door. ‘Come in.’
‘Happy Christmas,’ said Jo, as she stepped into the hallway. Rob kissed her. ‘Season’s greetings and all that other stuff too.’
Jo had never before woken up on Christmas Day in an empty house and it had unsettled her. It hadn’t felt like Christmas at all. It had felt like the first Sunday after a nuclear holocaust – eerily quiet – or as if the world outside was covered with a blanket of invisible snow.
In the car she had worried about how dinner at Rob and Ashley’s would go. She’d been horrified when Rob had explained to her that Ashley’s entire family would be there too, not to mention her friend Neil. She had been much happier when she thought it was going to be just her, Rob and Ashley. Now it seemed all wrong. She felt incredibly self-conscious, as if none of Ashley’s family would understand why she was there, and she was reminded of an article she had read in Marie Claire about an American man with two wives who lived with him in the same house.
As Jo took off her coat and hung it up she asked, ‘Is everyone else here?’
‘Neil’s not arrived yet but my prospective in-laws are in the living room. And we’ve explained so everything will be fine.’
‘Where have I heard that one before?’
Rob laughed. ‘It’ll be fine.’
‘It had better be.’ Jo grinned, then picked up the carrier-bag of presents she had brought and followed Rob into the living room.
‘Everybody,’ said Rob, ‘this is my friend Jo.’
Jo looked at Ashley’s family gave a little wave and immediately wished she hadn’t come. An older man with white hair, whom she assumed was Ashley’s father, was talking to a grey-haired elderly man, who had to be Ashley’s granddad. Next to him on the sofa was a smartly dressed older woman, Ashley’s mother, who was talking to an elderly lady in a lilac twinset, clearly Ashley’s grandmother. On the sofa opposite a youngish man in a grey cardigan must be Ashley’s brother-in-law and the attractive woman with chestnut hair could only be Michelle,
Ashley’s older sister.
‘Hi, everyone,’ said Jo. ‘Merry Christmas.’ She threw a look of panic at Rob, then said she was going to say hello to Ashley and scuttled off to the kitchen.
‘Hi, Jo,’ said Ashley, as she walked in. ‘Happy Christmas!’ She gave Jo a hug, and Jo delved into her carrier-bag, pulled out a parcel and handed it to her.
‘You’ve brought me a present!’ said Ashley. ‘How lovely!’
‘It’s nothing, really. I just wanted to thank you for inviting me to spend Christmas with you.’ She hoped Ashley wouldn’t mind that it was only a selection of bath products from the Body Shop.
‘These are great!’ said Ashley, flung an arm round Jo’s shoulders and planted a kiss on her cheek. She opened a bottle of shower gel and sniffed. ‘Gorgeous! I’ve only got some stuff I bought in Superdrug by mistake. It’s supposed to smell of figs – and who wants to smell of figs all day? Now I’ll smell like fresh coconuts, which is infinitely more appealing.’
The doorbell rang and Ashley excused herself. She returned a moment later with Neil and Rob.
‘Jo,’ said Ashley, ‘this is my friend Neil.’
‘And, Neil,’ said Rob, ‘this is my friend Jo.’
‘Look at us!’ laughed Neil as he took Jo’s hand. ‘Living evidence that men and women can be just good friends!’
At the end of the day
Despite Jo’s reservations, Christmas at Rob and Ashley’s turned out to be a lot more fun than she’d imagined possible. Braced with several glasses of chardonnay she mingled with Ashley’s family. She began by talking to Michelle and her husband and found common ground in fruit (Michelle, too, only bought it in Marks and Spencer) and cigars (she entertained Michelle’s cigar-smoking husband with an embarrassing tale of how, after seeing Sharon Stone on the cover of the cigar magazine Aficionado, she had bought one to try and been violently sick). She then had an entertaining chat with Ashley’s grandfather, who had failed to grasp why she was there but made her feel welcome anyway. Even Ashley’s mother warmed to her, once Jo told her about her novel: it turned out that Mrs Mclntosh had recently started to work part-time at her local library.
Her most interesting conversations, however, were with Neil. He had talked for a little while of the ups and downs of being a doctor but most of their conversation was about the things she and Rob chatted about. Neil knew about music, films and TV and he had an endearing manner. He wasn’t what Jo had been expecting from Rob’s description. She had had the impression that Neil was a bit ‘wooden’ – but he wasn’t at all. He was fun and made her laugh, and with him there she felt less of an intruder at Rob and Ashley’s first Christmas get-together.
After dinner, more wine, present opening and yet more wine, she decided she’d had her best Christmas Day in years. Just after nine, she felt it was time to go and pulled out her mobile to call a minicab.
‘I’ll drop you home, if you like,’ Neil offered. ‘I’m ready to leave now too.’
‘That would be great,’ said Jo. ‘I’ll get my things together.’
With her coat on and the presents she had received, she kissed Ashley, then put an arm round Rob and kissed him too. Neil said his goodbyes, and they went outside to his Porsche.
‘This is yours?’ asked Jo, impressed.
He nodded. ‘It was my treat to myself a while back.’
‘My treat to myself is usually chocolate,’ said Jo, laughing, ‘but each to their own.’
On the journey over to Levenshulme they talked about the new year and what they hoped to get out of it. Neil told Jo that he was planning to take a career break and travel for a while because he was afraid that he was missing out on life by working all the time. Jo told him about her hopes for her novel, and that if no one was interested in it, she’d write something new: Rob’s praise had inspired her.
‘Well,’ she said, as Neil pulled up outside her house, ‘this is me.’
He leaned across and kissed her cheek. ‘It was great to meet you.’
‘You too.’ Jo opened the car door. ‘Have a great New Year.’
She stepped out of the car and was about to close the door when Neil spoke again: ‘May I say something to you? It’s more advice than anything else.’
‘Of course,’ said Jo. ‘What is it?’
‘I just wanted to say to you that I know it must be hard for you.’
‘What’s hard for me?’
‘And I know too that, right now, your heart must feel like it’s being broken apart . . . but it will heal . . . You will get over it. Time will help you to accept that in life there are things you can have and things you can’t, and that’s just the way it is.’
Jo was stunned. ‘How did you—’
‘It takes one to know one,’ he replied. ‘Just make sure you look after yourself.’
Jo closed the car door and watched as he drove away. Then she turned to her house and rooted in her bag for her keys. She opened the door, closed it behind her and cried as if she would never stop.
Brand new year
‘Hang on, mate,’ called the cab driver, as Rob slammed the door. ‘I think you’ve forgotten something.’
‘It’s Chico,’ Ashley told him, laughing. ‘And don’t think I don’t know you’ve done it on purpose.’
It was now eleven o’clock on New Year’s Day and Rob and Ashley had just arrived back in Manchester from Gran Canaria. The weather had been great (warm but not too hot, just the way Rob liked it), the hotel had been top class (he had been pleased not to see a single cockroach) and all they had done was lie around the hotel pool (Rob had read two books on graphic design and several dozen back issues of Design Week). As holidays went, he felt it had been one of the best he had ever had. And as a way for Ashley and him to reconnect after a fairly odd year it had been brilliant. They had made plans for their summer wedding, and to do things like see Manchester City – Ashley’s newly adopted football team – play, spend a weekend at the health spa Hoarcross Hall and some time at Ashley’s parents’ holiday home in Paignton, Devon.
‘Cheers, mate.’ Rob reluctantly opened the cab door, and grabbed the sombrero-wearing straw donkey from within and tucked it under his arm. ‘You’re a real life-saver.’
As he picked up the suitcases, Ashley returned from opening the front door grabbed his lapels and pulled him close. ‘Have I told you lately how much I love you?’ she asked, looking into his eyes.
‘Not since we landed at the airport.’
‘Well, in case you’d forgotten since then, I’m going to tell you again. I love you very much.’
‘Well, I love you too,’ he said, and extricated himself from her grip – it had begun to rain. ‘Come on, let’s go inside before we drown.’
Work is a four-letter word
‘I’d better go,’ said Ashley, and drained the last of her orange juice. ‘My shift starts in an hour and I can’t afford to be late after a week away.’
It was just after six thirty that evening and they were sitting at the kitchen table finishing off a haphazard pick-and-mix supper of French bread, salad. Brie and hummus as though they were still on holiday.
‘Do you have to?’ asked Rob. ‘Can’t you call in sick?’
‘Of course I can’t. It’s the sick who depend on me.’
‘I suppose.’
‘You know I’d love to if I could,’ added Ashley. ‘I’m already missing you, after all the time we’ve spent together, and I’ve got this stretch of night shifts to get through yet.’
‘But we’ll go out on Sunday night, eh? The cinema or something? How does that sound?’
‘It’s a date,’ said Ashley. ‘What will you do tonight?’ she asked. ‘Have a catch-up with Jo?’
‘She’s not due back for a few days,’ he said, ‘but I told her I’d water her plants and check that everything was okay.’
‘Why don’t you drop me off at the hospital now, and take my car straight on to Levenshulme?’
‘Good plan. Do you know? I can’t wait u
ntil you’re Mrs Brooks.’
‘And do you know?’ laughed Ashley. ‘Neither can I.’
Kitchen-sink drama
As Rob pulled up outside Jo’s house he noticed that her Nissan was still parked outside and wondered whether she had come home early or had decided not to drive. He fumbled for her keys in his pocket, then thought he should ring the doorbell in case she was there. When she didn’t answer, he let himself in, and noticed straight away that there wasn’t any mail in front of the door, which was odd as she had left a couple of days ago. He touched the radiator in the hallway: it was hot, which, again, was odd – Jo wasn’t the kind of person to waste money heating an empty house.
Just then he noticed a light was on in the kitchen; he could hear cupboard doors opening and closing. Was it Jo trying to find her last box of tea bags he thought or a particularly thorough burglar? Silently Rob opened the kitchen door to see a naked man making a cup of tea.
‘What do you think you’re doing?’ he yelled.
‘What the—’ The naked man turned round.
It was Sean. ‘Since when have you had those?’ he demanded, glaring at the keys in Rob’s hand.
‘Never mind that,’ barked Rob. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘Why don’t you ask Jo when she comes out of the shower?’ said Sean, smugly.
Rob swallowed hard. ‘But she told me—’
‘Obviously she didn’t go. So, why don’t you drop off your keys by the door on the way out, mate, and leave us in peace?’
Rob left the room and stalked towards the front door but was intercepted by a wet-haired Jo coming downstairs in her blue dressing-gown. It was obvious that she was naked beneath it.
‘You’ve come to water the plants, haven’t you?’ she said, and winced.