“I don’t know. I can’t tell.”
“For the record, it definitely wasn’t because I thought I might get some kind of special access to the Logan administration because of you.”
“That thought really never entered my mind. You wouldn’t do something like that.” It was true. I never thought he was trying to use our ties professionally. That just wasn’t Adam.
“You know me well.”
He smiled and pulled me closer to him—closer than even a few minutes before. The woolly scent of his sport coat drifted toward me. I could’ve easily slipped into the moment and rested my head on his chest, but that was wrong for so many reasons. At once, I stepped back and announced in as firm a voice as I could find, “I have a boyfriend. Here. In this room.”
“I know.” It came out bitterly, but his next words were softer. “Yet surely we could be friends again.”
I looked at him askance. “We were never just friends.”
“No…we weren’t, but we could give it a try.”
There were many reasons why Adam and I had broken up before he’d returned to England, just as there were many reasons why we hadn’t kept in touch. A paramount one was that I hadn’t wanted to only be his friend. I couldn’t bear the thought of hearing about his new girlfriends and life after I’d been left behind. Yes, it had been selfish and childish, but back then, I’d been a self-centered child. Plus, I’d been through enough pain to last a lifetime. I knew better than to pile more on.
I shook my head. “I should go back.”
Without another word or look, I dropped his hand and headed to our group. I managed to walk in a straight line, but it was an effort. I was dizzy with the thought that Adam might very well still be interested in me and felt the need to confirm it to myself. That is what he sort of said in a non-committal way, right?
I spotted the table, though it was hardly a sanctuary. David sat right between Juan Carlos and Lisa. Juan Carlos was laughing as David appeared to give an animated retelling of a story with his arm resting around the back of Lisa’s chair. When David let it slide against her back, she shot him a look. She then noticed me coming toward her, and her eyes were aflame. I knew exactly what she was thinking, because I was wondering it as well: What in the hell is going on?
As I approached the table, Juan Carlos rose to help me with my chair. Smiling, he kissed my cheek. “Hola, preciosa.”
“Thanks for saving my seat.” I gave him a peck back, fully conscious that Adam was only a foot away.
David stood up and extended his hand to me. “Hello. You probably don’t remember me. I’m Adam’s cousin, David Bates.”
“Oh, I remember you.” I smiled, thinking Juan Carlos really didn’t need to know about my little make-out session with David in Lance’s backyard all those years ago. I tried to signal that I barely knew the guy. “It’s nice to meet you again.”
Juan Carlos laughed. “David is hilarious. He tells the best stories.”
I kept smiling but only nodded. I figured the less I said about knowing David, the better.
As I sat down, Adam found a chair on the other side of Lisa, and David said, “Adam, Dr. Lisa Roberts. You remember her, don’t you?”
“Hello, Lisa.” Adam extended his hand to her. “I believe I last saw you in London.”
“Hello.” She gave him a perfunctory smile and muttered, “It’s been a while.” She then glared at me with a silent What the fuck?
I answered by gulping my sangria. Thankfully, Juan Carlos was far more interested in the conversation with his friends across the table, who were debating the best soccer team in Mexico. Adam’s attention had likewise been grabbed by a young Hill staffer, who’d had enough smarts to realize the BBC White House correspondent was sitting next to him. I tuned out as soon as I heard the guy say, “My boss, Senator Lexford, sits on the Foreign Relations Committee.”
While I sat studying my drink, David moved a little closer to Lisa. His Cockney accent became sultry. “You know, Lisa, you’re beautiful—like a Nubian princess.”
“You have got to be kidding me.”
“Not at all.”
“Do you even know where Nubia is?”
“Africa, I suppose.”
“You say it like it’s a small place. Africa is a friggin’ continent.”
“What does it matter? It’s a compliment, princess.”
“Princess? I bet that’s something you call all your women.”
“Only if they’re gorgeous like you.”
“And the black ones are Nubian princesses?”
“Not all of them. You’re special.”
“Please.” She gave him a look like she’d just sucked on a lemon. “Don’t even start that shit with me.”
“Shit? I’m not talking shit. You’re a pretty little thing. Smooth chocolate skin, striking face, and lovely dark eyes.”
She snorted. “You’re going to have to work a lot harder than that.”
“I like a challenge.”
I could barely hear her whisper, “You’ve got to be kidding me. The last time I saw you, you ended up fucking Rachel, one of my best friends. Not to mention…” She gave a sharp nod toward me.
“All ancient history.”
“You’re crazy if you think I’m next.”
“Oh, you’re still a feisty one. I remember that about you. I like feisty.” He waggled his eyebrows. “I’m good with feisty. Just give me a chance. You won’t regret it.”
“Are you for real?” She shook her head.
“Oh yes, and I’m not going away.”
While Lisa and David continued their banter, Maria Ines Ortega, Juan Carlos’s friend from college, sidled up next to me. “Hey, Nicki.”
“Hi.” Maria Ines always made me grin. She was perpetually on the make, and as a gorgeous Colombian, she was quite successful in her conquests. She had the best tales to tell. “How are you?”
“I’m great.” She nodded over to Adam, who was still stuck talking to the staffer. “Juan Carlos says Adam’s a friend of yours. He said he has a girlfriend. Is that right?”
“Yes, he does,” I said slowly. I peered over at him. “Her name is Felicity Chambers. She also works for the BBC.”
“Probably one of those horsey-looking British chicks,” said Maria Ines. Tossing her hair, she stuck out her chest. “He needs a night with me. He’s probably never been with a real woman.”
Since I’d been with Adam when I was only seventeen, I couldn’t object—not that I really wanted the conversation to go any further. I did wonder what Adam would do if Maria Ines worked her magic on him, though. Men flocked to her the way women fell over themselves for David. I considered it a test.
“Go talk to him,” I said.
“I will.”
I dreaded the next question, but it was the polite one for me to ask. “Do you want me to introduce you?”
“No, thanks.” She winked. “I can handle it.”
She left me behind and pulled up a chair between Adam and the staffer. Turning her back on the poor guy, she effectively iced him out as she began talking with Adam. It was a matter of seconds before her trademark eye-fucking commenced. I looked away. I didn’t want to see Adam’s reaction.
For the rest of the night, I drank sangria and checked my watch, hoping that I would get out of there before it all exploded in my face. Of course, home would be no better because I’d be alone with Juan Carlos and my guilt, and when he left the next day, I’d be just as confused by Adam and get a lecture from Lisa. I began to plot a Sunday afternoon trip into the office just to avoid my personal life.
Fortunately, because there was such a large group at the table, I didn’t have to say much. Juan Carlos held court just as he always did. He was a charismatic guy, and people were drawn to him. Plus, he was the most successful campaign consultant in America right now and sitting in a popular restaurant in DC. The man was going to have admirers and customers. I welcomed the conversations as a diversion from Adam, though occasionally I�
�d peek to see if Maria Ines was making any headway. I couldn’t tell, but close to two in the morning, I did overhear David ask for Lisa’s phone number.
She gave him a deadpan look. “After everything I’ve said to you tonight, you want to call me?”
“Of course, love. Why not?”
“Whatever.” She yawned. “Adam is a reporter. He should be able to track it down.”
“Still playing hard to get?” David said with a smile.
“Oh, I’m not playing at all. I am hard to get, especially for you.”
He leaned over and gave her the quickest peck on the cheek before he rose from his seat. She touched where his lips had landed, but rather than scolding him, she gave me a stern look. I was going to get a talking to.
Adam and David said their farewells, and curiosity got the best of me. I studied Adam’s goodbye to Maria Ines. She leered at him, and he nodded and turned away.
As he spoke to the Hill staffer, Maria Ines came over to me and said, “Either he’s in love with his girlfriend or he’s gay, because he wouldn’t flirt with me.” She glared at Adam. “He’s really not that attractive, you know.”
“Right,” I said with a nod. Crazy woman.
When Adam and David made their way to Juan Carlos and me to say goodbye, Juan Carlos stood up, and there was much backslapping. Great. They’re all buddies now.
David beamed down at me. “Good seeing you again, Nicki. You’re gorgeous as ever.”
I had to grin. He was too charming not to respond. “Thanks, David. It was good to see you, too.”
Adam followed up with a pleasant but far more professional, “Good night, Nicki. I suppose I’ll see you on Monday.”
My giddiness over David’s charm faded into a nervous smile for Adam. “Yes. Monday. Good night.”
I stared at them as they walked away. Two tall, well-dressed guys standing out among the crowd of sweaty salsa dancers. I watched a second too long, though—before he got to the door, Adam turned around and caught me. His eyes met mine, and I looked away. Damn it.
As we went home in a cab, Juan Carlos announced, “It’s nice that you’re friends with Adam. He seems like a good guy. Maria Ines seemed to like him.”
“Yeah,” I said, looking out the window at the lights as we sped down Connecticut Ave. Friends. There was that word again. I searched for something emotionally innocuous so I wouldn’t lie but also not raise any red flags. “It was good to see him.”
The night that had started with me dying to get my boyfriend alone so I could pounce on him ended with me dreading my bedroom. With no place in DC yet, Juan Carlos always spent his nights in town with me. Lisa’s apartment had three bedrooms and two baths, so we had ample privacy and could be as loud as we wanted. There I was, though, silently going through the motions of sex with my beloved boyfriend and hardly enjoying the moment. Adam had ruined it for me, or I had ruined it for myself. Both were true.
When it was over, Juan Carlos curled up behind me. Despite the intimacy, my mind was elsewhere. I looked out into the darkness and remembered again the night before Adam had moved back to England. The second part of our conversation came back to me—a promise I’d clung to, though it would’ve been better forgotten. Deep down, I had always admitted I would be mortally crushed if it never came true.
“But what if…what if I was thirty-five and still single? Could I contact you then?” Adam asked.
What he described seemed unimaginable. I couldn’t really comprehend what it would be like to be thirty-five. And the idea that he would ever be single was ridiculous. I said yes. “In the highly unlikely event that was the case, I’d say sure.”
“Really?”
“You’ve got to admit, it’s probably not going to happen.”
He happily kissed my nose. “Maybe, maybe not.”
Of course, life hadn’t worked out that way. We weren’t thirty-five yet, and neither of us was single. Instead, we’d been thrown together sooner than expected—too soon, or maybe too late. Adam might have had a hand in making it happen, but his intentions weren’t clear, not even to him. The situation wasn’t what we’d imagined, and it could end badly. Most of all for me.
The following morning, Juan Carlos and I took a shower together as I tried to rally myself for him. He didn’t seem to notice I was out of sorts. Either he was distracted by the sex or the flight he had to catch to Seattle at noon.
After he caught his cab to Dulles, I went upstairs with my plan to give Lisa the sorry-I-gotta-run-goodbye and then flee to the safety of the office. She wouldn’t hear of it.
“Oh no you don’t,” she said as she blocked the path to my room. “You stay right here. We need to talk.”
“Tonight.”
“No way. I’m dying to know what you and Adam talked about when you were dancing!”
“I’m kind of dying to know also.”
“What do you mean?”
“It was odd.”
She pointed to the living room. “Sit. Tell me what happened, for once, between you and Adam. Word for word.”
“Okay…”
After we plopped down on the sofas, she said, “Now, don’t leave anything out.”
“All right.” What a fib. I retold her everything we’d said, but not what I’d felt. I left out the moments I had wanted to kiss him and all that. No need to go into details that would only get me in trouble.
After I finished, she twisted her mouth as she appeared to mull it all over. Finally, she said, “So he says he’s not sure why he took the job? Like it could be you or it could be the work.”
“Yup.”
“But he wants to be friends.”
“That’s what he said.” I frowned and muttered, “Not my idea.”
“You still don’t want to be friends with him?”
“Honestly, I don’t know if I’d be good at being friends with him.”
“Well, that’s a warning sign…”
“Warning of what?”
“That you’re still interested in him, silly.”
“Well, yeah, in a way,” I mumbled. My tone strengthened. “But I have Juan Carlos, and he’s great.”
“Juan Carlos is a good man who is good to you. Not to mention he’s gorgeous. Hell, even his name is sexy. Any woman would want to be with him.” She waggled her finger at me. “Don’t you forget that.”
“Believe me, I won’t. I love him.”
“Good.” She looked out the window for a moment, then shook her head. “But Adam…he’s still interested in you, though he has a girlfriend.”
“Let’s not get too carried away with his level of ‘interest.’ The guy says he wants to be my friend.”
“Hmm.” She tapped her fingers against her lips. “Maybe this is all one big test for him.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, he has a girlfriend, but he’s still interested in you. He wants to see if there’s still anything there between you. The girlfriend is his safety net. She’s the control group in the experiment.”
“You are such a scientist.”
“But I’m probably right.”
“Huh? You really think he’s calculated it that way?”
“Maybe not fully consciously, but it kind of looks that way.”
“Maybe.” It did sort of make sense, but I was wary. “You realize our jobs are at stake here. Nothing can really happen between us. It’s highly unethical, especially for him, and for me, it’s a political scandal.”
“Yeah, your boss is the president of the United States,” she said, pointedly stating the obvious.
“I can’t be screwing around with the press, but you think I should be friends with him?”
“Of course. Otherwise you’ll never know.”
“But Adam has never even flirted with me, never even paid me a compliment.”
“Really? Not even something like, ‘You look good’?”
“Nope. He’s been very professional.”
“That’s a good thing, right? You do
n’t want him hitting on you and further complicating things.”
“True.” I smirked. “But maybe it’s because I’m not a Nubian princess.”
She covered her eyes with uncharacteristic drama. “Don’t get me started with David. That guy is crazy.”
“Crazy but cute, and Rachel and I can vouch for him.” I punctuated it with a wink.
“Don’t remind me,” she grumbled.
Chapter Five
FOR THE NEXT FEW WEEKS, Adam and I were friendly when we saw each other, but no more than when we interacted with anyone else in the briefing room. As curious as I was about him, I was happy not to have my workweek thrown into emotional upheaval. Maybe he felt the same way.
I often pondered on what his life was like outside of work. Did Felicity visit him often? What was she like? When I was on the phone with Juan Carlos, was Adam talking with Felicity? And what did she know of me? Everything or nothing? The ruminations never lasted too long, as the stomach-churning jealousy made me physically sick.
One Saturday morning, I was at work again when Juan Carlos called to tell me his flight had been canceled. There was a late winter storm headed east, and he’d already gotten caught in it in Chicago. As I resigned myself to a weekend of work instead of fun, my phone buzzed again with a New York number I didn’t know. Working with the media, that happened all the time, so I figured it was a reporter.
“This is Nicole,” I answered.
“Nicki? Hello. This is Sylvia Kincaid.”
At first my eyes bugged out in surprise, but then I smiled. I’d always loved Adam’s sister. “Sylvia! It’s so good to hear from you. How did you get my number?”
“Adam gave it to me. I hope you don’t mind.”
“No, not at all.” The thought of Adam giving my number away, even to his sister, struck me as sort of funny.
“Oh good. So listen. I’m sure your weekend is already packed, but I’m on the train right now heading to DC. I have some work there on Monday and Tuesday, and I wanted to make sure I wasn’t delayed by the storm. Could you squeeze me in for brunch tomorrow or even coffee sometime?”
For a moment I wondered if she would bring Adam along, but on second thought, I doubted it. Sylvia had always been very careful to keep our friendship separate from my relationship with her brother.
Disclosure of the Heart (The Heart Series) Page 5